I got my head down last night, about 01:00hrs. I woke up at 01:15hrs. Nodded off again, waking up with an streaking up my right leg that nearly me nudged out of the bed. I’m sure I heard a buzzing coming from the leg and bottom! Luckily, I hit my head on the anti-fall bar. But sleep was out of the question. I tried, but the shocks were coming so often I gave up and went on the computer. Once on there, the shocks stopped. But I was concentrating on just for once, getting the blog finished earlier, sooner, quicker. When I eventually realised that they were no longer coming, well, the odd one now and then, it was too late to get back in bed cause the carer would be here in a couple of hours. So, I decided to get the ablutions done. No showering; the noise from the drain would wake those below me up. I extracted the nocturnal pouch from the catheter. The shocks had at least made me pass more wee-wee. Hahaha! Expecting reluctance from Constipation Conrad, I got in the wet room and picked up the crossword book. It wasn’t needed or used. Tsk! I casually but carefully got the PPs off and sat on the plastic seat.
Well, no torpedoes today; there was no doubt that Trotsky Terence had regained command of things rear-end-wise. The porcelain filled up with what looked like Oxo cubes, but Kharki, not brown, and many of them. Getting cleaned up, washing the lower regions, and then getting the fresh PPs on was as difficult and painful as ever. It took me so long that I feared the Carer’s time was coming, so I rushed the shaving and body wash. The same goes for medications. The results were four shaving nicks and one deep cut. A stubbed toe – miraculously, I didn’t knock the ingrowing toenail! Also, I forgot to do the teeth. I got a long Kaghoule on and went into the kitchen, fancying a mug of Glengettie. I took these photos, although they were not good ones, of the morning view. I went to turn on the computer, but I got distracted by the noise from the baby alarm in the hallway. I never made the brew! It was some mail that made the noise I heard. I was not in such a good mood then. A damned depression came on instantly as I realised the things I needed help with sorting for the letters. HMG sent three of them! (TV licence), the bank (2) and an unopened one after the shock of the first few. As I got on the computer, a barrage of painful… well, no, they just made me jump, but this time went on and on at me. This encouraged me to look up the cause of these shocks on the computer and find out if there was any help. There are some sites in America, but not the NHS. I spent far too long looking this up. The Carer arrived relatively late, not that it mattered. I mentioned the problem of the shocks, and she tried to help me with a problem from XL. Carer Sham, it was a nice gal. When she left, she took the laundry bag with her. I’m surprised I remembered that. Haha! I did a search and copied some information that I found.
Phytoestrogens? But it informed me what I should eat and drink to help. Soya beans & chickpeas, yes, I eat them two. Flax – What’s that? Broccoli berries have been barred for me by the cardiac team.
It is too high in vitamin K. Tea is limited to two cups daily by Urology.
Advice: to keep moving. I’m bending down all day, emptying the catheter bag. Cut out beer and nicotine. I did that in 1975. Eat Omega, found in fish. Last month I bought some smoked haddock, and very nice it was, but it was only a half fillet, & cost me over £6!
So, it seems that when they throw my cadaver in the fire on my way to St Peter’s gate, there might be more sparks and flames than there usually are? I must warn the crematoria. Hehehe!
We had a drop of rain this afternoon to teatime. I got the Kodak out and took these three view shots into the balcony. The rain didn’t last long… Sounds like something the wife used to say to me. Haha!
I turned the oven on to heat up. I’d forgotten about the fresh beer-battered chips in the fridge. They are labelled “Use by yesterday,” but I’ll risk it. And a ready-made Shepherd’s Pie with a root vegetable potato topping. I made the nosh. It has a delightful flavour. I ate it slowly and savoured every mouthful.
The evening view was one of those ‘everything-had-brown’ in it. Great!
I fell asleep in the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – September 9 also marks the Day of the Homeland, European Heritage Day, International Sudoku Day, National Grandparents Day, National Wiener Schnitzel Day, and Rosh Hashanah. Oh, & the day I got thrown in the Nottingham Canal off the Wilford Road Bridge when I was about six years of age.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Haemorrhoid Harold was harassing, harrowing, harrying, hurting, and stinging from the moment I woke up, and he kept at it for most of the day. Not that he, Dizzy Dennis, or Colin Cramps bothered me at all. I just laughed them off.
I was taking off the nocturnal wee-wee pouch as Carere Richard arrived. He told me it was a 7 on the NHS scale. I think I must have put the wrong photo on. Tsk!
The medicationings took me longer than the wash & shave did! Constipation Conrad was back in charge, but I think he is struggling to keep the top dog spot. This morning, there were signs of liquidity in his five smaller-than-recent torpedoes. I just thought I’d mention it. Haha! Owt for a laugh me. Common as muck! It’s amazing how I took such a decent shot of the wet room as I departed. You can see which way I swayed to shoulder charge the door frame. I’d forgotten why I took it now. Some misconceived humorous quip or other. Tsk!
The seizures were rife for a while. Then eased of in the afternoon a little.
I returned to the wet room to do the tidying and mopping I failed to do the other day. But where the hell I’d left the mop was anyone’s guess. I did a Sherlockian search in every room and the hallway. Baffled I was!
So I gave up, got the computer on, and got on with the blog catching up. After many hours of slow, grinding progress… with the seizures still visiting and my mind wandering, I did another search for the mystery of the mop disappearing. I pulled the shower curtain, but I was certain because I’d not had a shower, it would not be in there… and it was! Aha, I’d found my bamboo mop! I didn’t use it, as a Carer arrived and forgot about it.
I thought the colour was a lot deeper about the ninth emptying of the mini catheter pouch, but then again, with my achromatic vision.
I made a pot noodle for myself, the only person in the flat. Hehe! I took it back to the computer and enjoyed it very much. It’s starting to look a little gloomy now that the sun has gone behind the thick clouds, or the thick clouds have gone in front of the sun. Erm…
Do you have any idea what it is that I’m waffling about?
I’m still working on the blog, making errors, wandering off to other things, and then coming back and finding I’d made even more cock-ups. I’m lost today.
Oh, what a colourless sky. It’s a beautiful view.
Carer Chloe visited. I was in the middle of the last seizure of the day. I talked a lot but did not have the faintest idea of what to say. Yes, I have; I’ve got it now. I opened two letters while she was here: from the bank and Meridian Charges. Then, after Chloe went, the first depression of the day hit me. It came on so quickly. Ten or fifteen minutes on, it still lingered, but was I bothered? No! I was really!
The sky changed so often over the next three hours. I took snaps of many of the changes but missed many because I was trying to keep up with the blogging.
The colouring changed between photographing sometimes.
Not as sensational as those that Tim Price takes in New Mexico, the sies there are magical. And Tim is too, with a camera. Jealous? Me? Of course, I am! Hahaha! The skies here over the last month have been so drab. Tonight was a pleasure.
I have some potatoes baking in the oven, and I have pressed on with the blog up to this point. Now that I’m tired and confused, I’ll get a meal prepped and be back in the morning.
Good Morning!
Made a meal, but just as I was about to take the tray into the front room to the £300 second-hand shop purchased c1966, welt-causing, uncomfortable, not-working, itch-inspirational, crumb-containing recliner, Carer Precious arrived. He carried it through for me. But I forgot to take a photo of it. Carer Precious issued the meds, removed my diabetic socks, and linked the nocturnal pouch to the Catheter Contraption. Zzz! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – 05:55hrs: I woke up and took a few moments to figure out who I was, where I was, and why I had woken up. No joking! I think it must be possible to have a while one is asleep. This could possibly explain my bafflement when I stirred. It didn’t help much when joined in the confusing morning equation. As confused as I was, I wasn’t in a depression until the thought storming started, but I was then. Steve harped on and on; The computer problems, the TV Licensing Prosecution, the damned stupid and painful Catheter Contraption fitted, electric shocks shooting up my leg, the guilt of being so inadequate in even needing help to get dressed! Many other things were thrown at me at almost the same time. Things from 70+ years ago, mistakes, bad choices, stupid options that were taken… then, as I was trying to get out of bed, I stubbed my ingrowing toenail toe on the bed support bar. This was followed by a sharp-jarring pain from the catheter tube on Little Inchy, which took my mind off of the earlier depression and replaced it with a sickening ‘Sorry for myself’ moment. Lacking clarity or precision might be nearer to the optimum delineation. The nocturnal pouch was later checked and saved for colour classification by a carer. I’d regained a modicum of logicality by the time I’d made a brew of Glengettie and drank it.
The usual start, with the throne duties first. And what a change there! It was all over in seconds, but a ‘cunning plan’ from Trotsky caught me. I’d cleaned myself and WC up and was getting the shaving tackle ready… luckily I was only a hobble and a half away from the Porcelain Throne when a second wave arrived. I made it in time, but it was a close call. Had I needed to remove my PP’s, I’d have messed myself up. Luckily, if that’s the word, I’d taken the PPs off when in bed cause they and the catheter were causing me such pain. I did my teeth and then carried out the various medicationings, got some fresh PPs on, and forgot all about having a shave. I put the tackle away, thinking that I’d had one. Is there any hope?
I took an earlyish morning snap of the view from the kitchenette window. It was a bit nippy out. Brr! I closed the window, and I started updating yesterday’s blog. But, as usual, I got an idea for today’s Ode and spent ages on it, then almost forgot about yesterday’s not being done. Onto CorelDraw and Carer Chris arrived. Chris got the diabetic socks on for me. Medications were issued, and he mentioned that the catheter conglomeration looked rather painful. He was on the button there! Hehehe! He took the laundry down for me. I hope it returns today; the smaller socks were both in it.
I had a couple of minor seizures, I think, so I gave the computer a rest. And started to sort the waste bins out. As I emptied one, I
burst into life and dropped on the bins. Crumbs were scattered over the carpet. So I unplugged Vaccumm- Vincent to clean them up. I made a decent job of it, and as I turned (a little too quickly) with Vincent to replug him, visited, , just enough for me to kick the bin over that I’d just emptied Vincent’s contents into!
The day started badly… it’s still not getting any better!
came in to do a battery check. We had a little natter. Well, I told her of the day’s disasters. Hehehe! I love to laugh, but I get minimal opportunities nowadays. They are so precious to me!
Minutes after Deana had departed, the door chime chimed. I’ve noticed that it does that occasionally. The Postlady delivered three letters. One a bill. The other two from the TLA (Television Licensing Authority) informed me that an Enforcement Officer visit has been granted the right to call on me to collect payment. A £1000 fine may be applied if the licence fee is not paid on this visit on September 15th. Nice! Keir Starmer starts by stating that he means to go on with the liquidation of the older generation. Starmer’s total travel bill for his time in charge of the CPS stood at £236,485, which included first-class flights. It states in the letter that anyone over 76 years of age does not need to buy a licence? I phoned Deana, who gave me a reference number to give to the bully boy or girl when he or she arrives. The day started badly… it’s still not getting any better!
I made a food order from Ocado for next week. I can starve until then. At least that would please Starmer! Haha!
Getting depressed again. I got the Kodak and took this shot on the left of the flat’s Chestnut Way car parking. Not a soul in sight! Then I took this one on the right. To the left of the apartments. (It sounds much posher than flats, dunnit?) Haha!)
Next, off into the balcony. To take a shot of the dead-end car park. I felt the weight of the mini-sized catheter pulling down at the same time as Little Inchie felt the pain. Arghhh! I hobbled back into the flat and emptied the pouch, and all but went over again, as nearly had me over as I bent down to my foot to retrieve the bag. Fed up! I limped cautiously back onto the balcony to take a final photo. The rain had started. We need it, though; we’ve not had much this summertime.
The day started badly… it’s still not getting any better!.
I’ll investigate what food to have for nosh later on. No, I won’t. I’ll go on the WP Reader. Some great photography and poetry were posted for my pleasure by other bloggers!
BEEF IN STOUT GRAVY With a baked potato, halved and salted. Wholemeal bread rolls to soak up the gravy and get stains on my humungous, horrifically hefty, hanging-down stomach! A couple of squirts of BBQ-flavoured ketchup on the spuds. Naughty, but so lovely! I got the pots washed with one hand. The other was carrying the nocturnal catheter bag in hand. Then I put the bag on the floor and took this snap on the right. It looked ominous, yer peaceful at the same time.
Got down in the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner. Intending to watch some recorded episodes of ‘Heartbeat’. I kept falling asleep and playing back the recording to catch up on what I’d missed. The chilly-cold body tingles, along with the , assured that I didn’t stay asleep for long each time.
When I got onto the bed, the same two ailments then joined in with to give me a horrible night’s rest! One of the worst nights for months. Tsk!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I woke up, not that I was too interested in doing so. Late around 06:00hrs. I went into an instant seizure and sat there on the bed for an hour or so. I don’t know what I was thinking, which is probably a good thing. Felt well enough… well, physically, to climb out of the bed. The night pouch had over 900ml of urine in it. I emptied it, sealed the bags for disposal and washed my hands. It was as if I’d blinked. I found myself in the kitchen, cleaning the sink. I must get someone to phone the Doctors for me – and get some help getting ready for and going there. I’m back into another seizure and found I’ve made a brew of Glengettie. Things are getting daft. That’s not the word.
Carer Richard arrived and sorted out the medications. I sense that I moaned about things and listened to his replies, but I’m unsure. His legs are bad again; Richard returned in the heavy-duty leggings this morning.
As Richard departed, I had a Dizzy Dennis visit. A bad one this time. I just climbed back on top of the bed to rest a bit. I say a bit; I didn’t wake up until nearly midday! Sod, all done, tons to get done. Starting with the Porcelain Throne visit. It hurt more than yesterday’s. The farting little day punch filled up while I washing, and the weight took the tube down the leg. Little Inchie took the brunt of it. I was fed up already! Mind you, it was late. It’s afternoon already now! And all the extra work to be done on the computer. When am I going to get the shower and shave? I found these photos when I got on the computer.
I must have taken them during my first reluctant rise before Richard arrived, although I don’t know anything for sure in my current state.
I could not make much headway with the blog. I had to keep making things to replace the thousands of graphics I had created and lost yesterday. Or was it on Sunday? Obviously, the concentration was not good, and things were getting worse. As the seizures eased and the catheter had been emptied for about the eighth time, Carer Chloe arrived. She took this photo of the stupid, harmful, annoying, frustrating, miniscule day pouch fitted. I apologised for boring her with my moaning and thanked her as she departed.
I went out onto the balcony and took a couple of shots of the cloudy sky. They held a beauty to me, however low I was feeling. I’m getting sick to the teeth listening to myself gripe about my bad luck, but I have to say, I’m having a lot of it.
It seemed to get misty again.
When I got back on the computer, I was more baffled than ever about what I was doing and what I needed to do. I had to sidetrack to get things I’d have normally used from the CD file, and then I started doing something else instead. I was well peed off with things. That is putting it mildly.
I used the new Kodak on these shots of the mist.
Carer Precious arrived. With me getting up so late, I thought it was about 13:00 hrs… it was 17:35 hrs! The lad issued the evening medications and gave me a bit of help on the computer. I was struggling with having to make a new spreadsheet for the health checks after deleting four years’ worth. It’s many years since I’ve had to make one, but the new methods and layout in XL had me beat. He sorted it in three minutes. Thanks, mate! 👍🏼
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I’d like, just once again, to see the sea,
After the heart op, when things were dodgy…
I went with Brother-in-law, Petey,
Years later, with a resident’s party…
We got there, and they all abandoned me,
Well, they had their family with them, you see,
Walked for 6-hours, feeling a midge lonely,
I’d sooner have a mental & physical amnesty,
But that’s impossible, as you see,
Early this morning, l meandered amiably,
Shelled the peas, losing about twenty!
But I did recover two or three,
Then things sank, suddenly miserably,
Depression uncloaked, unavoidably,
Off went my limited mental agility,
Back came my situational acceptancy,
Started this ode hoping & believingly,
To fight off the depression, incredulously,
I coped with Peripheral Neuropathy…
Cartilage and Catheter pains, agony,
Earache Erasmus & Toothache Tiffany,
Sandra’s Seizures, Diabetic Polyneuropathy.
Dracula Depressions got the better of me! Life is just a Whigmaleerie!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I stirred into an unwanted imitation existence around 05:00 hrs. It was not the usual bursting awake this time. It was more of a gradual, reluctant acceptance of whatever the day ahead held for me, but not with any hopes or expectancy for anything I would really like or want. That was a bad start, emotionally.
The nocturnal and the day bag pouch it attached to were almost empty. Jiggling the large night bag and spinning it around before throwing it away from me onto the carpet did the trick. A deluge of wee-wee came through from the bladder, through the day and into the night bag. But there was not a lot of it. With flowing so quickly, I thought it would be much fuller. I also thought I could sense some flow-back. But of course, what do I know.
I pottered about, unhurriedly getting out of bed and in a semi-upright position. Off to the kitchen to check that the taps and cooker had not been left on
Then, I took this snap of the morning view without my usual enthusiasm. I think my EQ was trying to tell me something. I was not in a depressed state, just a little low, perhaps. Had lost his total control. Yet the pain was still there throughout the evacuational activity. Also, it was a mess to clean up on me and the porcelain bowl. This took me some time. I was not bothered; my interest in anything was slowly evaporating. I just wasn’t concerned, and that’s not me. I thought I was moving onto a new level, degree or platform in life, the next stage. Moments after this, I was doing the ablutions, having a stand-up wash and shave… and singing away to myself? Frank Ifields, ‘She Taught Me to Yodel’ I put my feet in a bowl of water with some Dettol and stood in it while I brushed my teeth and shaved. Only one was unseen; it was cut in the neck hole at the back. I dropped the shaving foam, which landed in the bowl and hit the ingrowing toenail on my right foot. I laughed it off, honestly! I freshened up the wet room before leaving.
I removed the reserve camera, with which I took most of today’s shots, from the new extension thingamabob in the hallway. It worked a treat. Also, I could use the clothes airer at the same time now to dry my towels. I felt around the plastic to see if anything had heated up overnight, but they all seemed cool.
There was an almost cheery period, then for an hour or so, during which I reverted to worrying about things but ignored any signs of depression. I think it was lurking, ready for a comeback, but I would not let it do so then! I got a large waste bag made up from the other three bins and popped it near the front door.
Carer Precious arrived. I showed him the scars from Cathy Catheters’ Contraption, with the small bag and extra-large hose that meant the release valve now hangs down to my right foot! Humph! I asked him if he would take a photo of the affected area of the catheter. He took an unintended photo of his own foot first. Hehehe!
I’m growing two eyes, a nose and a mouth on my catheter-injured leg.
Pareidoliaing, again. Haha!
I took a terrible photo halfway through shelling the last of the gorgeous fresh garden peas. I managed to drop no end, but I got three escapees back. Gulp-Swallow!
I put the peas into a basin ready to cook later. While I was doing these, there were no signs of Dark Dank Depression Duncan.
I forgot to ask Carer Precious to take the waste bag with him. I added a small one with some clothes no longer needed, I can’t get into them nowadays, to the other near the front door. Well, I’ve not got a back door in the flat. Har-har!
did the midday call. No meds were needed.
I did some work on this blog, and I feel better now. (Why do I say things like that? (It’s tempting fate!) After a laugh and someone to talk to.
Dizzy Dennis attacked as I got down to empty the tiny, so long, low-day pouch. Down I went. As tumbles go, it was not too bad a one. But foolish me, though, even after banging the knees and upsetting Arthur Itis and Cartilage Carole, that I could get up again easily enough. HUH!
Oh, no, not me. I saw the accumulated mess underneath the c1962 counter. I thought it would be a good idea while I was down there on the floor to clear some out. So, I grabbed the bigger picker-upperer. I started to try to remove some of the detritus hidden from normal view. What a Mistaker to Maker!
As I stretched underneath, my already bruised right knee was scratched and bruised by an old tablet bottle that shattered with the weight of my leg. I’m not surprised by the size of the leg that was blown up in this photo. The patella has merged with the surrounding flash and can hardly be identified. Haha! So, after trying a few times, you can see why I could not get back up after all!
I pressed the wristlet alarm to ask for help getting on my feet. However, it took a while to get an answer, and by then, I was just in the last stage of getting over the pure agony of getting on my feet.
The legs and feet continued to be painful for ages, but nothing compared to testing the knees in getting up. The size of the right leg was astronomical! That would be either Peripheral Neuropathy or Diabetic Neuropathy. Either way, it still hurts. Sympathy Seeking Again!
After getting a brew of Gleangettie,I wondered why old people often think a mug of tea is going to help. But it might have anyway. Twenty minutes later, the swelling of the leg stopped, and I could almost hear gurgling as it went down as quick as it went up. That reminds me of a Grizelda quote. It got better. Thirty minutes later, the leg had blown up again!
I went to put the meat in the oven, make another mug of tea, and take this snap of the front car park. called, and I grabbed the nearest thing to keep my balance. Unfortunately, it was the near-boiling kettle! So, in a flash, I used my right hand on the hot oven door. This week, a selection of finger, knuckle and hand burns has been collated and collected.
I’m unsure which kneecap hurts most; it’s a close call. Oh, yes! Advantage Left Knee. Putting up with the crippling mini-bagged Catheter, the thick extra-long tube, and the flesh-cutting straps. A mention in despatches for Little Inchie.
Time to check on the meal’s progress.
The meal was a fine one. Photographed conscientiously, twice, to get a better one than the first. Eaten with great relish. creating such a satisfying feast cannot be imagined,
When it came time to put the photo on the SD card, there wasn’t one in the camera; I’d left it on the computer.
It’s not been a particularly good day at all.
Carer Ahyu arrived, medications were given, and I showed him my injured legs and knee.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – It was back on the computer after making another brew of Gengettie to go cold. The first severe bout of occurred.
It lasted about half an hour.
Not much blogging got done.
I’m going to get to bed now. Well, when Carer Ayhu has been.
I may have another nibble… oh, have I had a meal? Blow it, I have a snack. I got the oven on to warm up and make some chips. The Carer arrived, and I went into a mini-seizure as he came. Ayou, I think it was. No idea what took place.
Then, within seconds of his leaving, I banged my already battered knee against the cooker door. There’s a sub-storyline to this. I’d visited the kitchen to check on the oven’s heat and realised I had not even turned the oven on! In my bout of self-disgust, the door dropped and hit the poor knee from the fall. But it did knock of the scab, so that was good.
If I ever find that scab is open to discussion. It’ll be somewhere, probably snuggling up to the by now, dried solid dropped peas over the last few days… Hehe! Oh, and maybe one may have bounced into the disappeared bottle cap? I turned on the oven to the maximum to heat it up quickly. I returned to the computer, intending to save all the work on CorelDraw, MS Word, Excel and WordPress and turn it off.
It’s not been a particularly good day at all.
I heard a clattering noise from, I assumed, the kitchenette. Hobbled back hastily, in a Sherlock Holmesian mode, to investigate. Oh, dearie,
the stack of washing from the main meal had fallen from the draining board rack onto and all over the floor! All the bending to retrieve them was too painful, so I fetched the long picker-upperer to use.
At last, I came across the missing bottle cap and two more dried-like ball bearings peas.
Then I rewashed the fallen basin, plate, and cutlery.
It’s been a long, trying day.
The chips were undercooked, and the beetroot was harder than the ball-bearing peas on the kitchen floor. The eggs and yoghourt were okay.
Once again, I washed up. I’m fed up with this, Hehe! It’s a little harder now that the carer has attached the nocturnal catheter bag. One tends to carry the night bag on its elongated tube and put it down when two hands are needed, as when washing and drying the pots. Then you walk to do something else, forgetting the 5-foot tubing and bag of your urine that you are dragging along the floor behind you. Inevitably:
The bag catches against something, and you carry on hobbling… until the pain from poor Little gets sent to your brain. You feel .
You usually curse a little as you get some kitchen towelling to stem the flow of the red stuff. Then, make your way as hastily as possible to the wet room before the Protection Pants overflow. This is what I did! But things were worse this time.
The bleed was a smidge stronger than expected. So, after cleaning up my lower regions, I checked that the tube had not come out or worked loose of Little Inchy. It’s all okay!
Then you see that some blood had run all down your leg and partly covered the daddy urine bag, which by now was resting on top of your left foot! I used a whole kitchen roll and the picker-upperer to clean things. I was too tired to even think of using the shower, and it was far too early in the morning to disturb the other residents with the noise of the shower. I cleaned up as best I could under the circumstances.
Having to bend down so often scared me a bit after what happened with Dizzy Dennis earlier with the tumble.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I managed 4hrs kip on the trot. But by then, it was time to get up
Which I, Oh, so reluctantly did.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
0:45hrs: Pretty yellow wee-wee. Not much, mind you.
Morning views. From the kitchen.
I got some clothes that no longer fit me and made two more bags. I don’t know how I can get them to the charity shop. I’m not putting the old stuff in it; they went in the waste bags.
I got the computer booted and made a brew of Glengettie. The following two did as well.
This tiny catheter pouch is more than a nuisance. It has to be emptied to soften, and the cup-of-water-sized bag makes it painful. I get dizzy when I have to bend down to reach the release valve, which still rests on my left foot. The mega-thick tube they put on is far too long. Hey-Ho!
I finished and sent off yesterday’s blog. Then, they started a new word list for the ode and got carried away. I don’t know why the pouch didn’t burst.
The Morrison order arrived.
I think my feeling as depressed as I am may be worse than the frustration of not being able to pull out of it?
I’d treated myself to luxury foodstuffs: a big pot of Lemon Curd and four tiny pots of Lemon and lime yoghourt.
Orange and yellow tomatoes and some giant red spring onions. Nice!
But the best bit of it all was being told they had no fresh garden peas available. Knowing the season was ending, but, they sent three 500gr bags for me! So, everything else was backlighted.
I was tempted to put my torque on. Hehe!
As I scattered so many peas all over the kitchen, there must have been… well, I’d guestimate about twenty peas over the whole session, which pinged off in different directions during the shelling session. I only managed to retrieve three of them.
It’s a little like socks that disappear when put into the washer or spin dryer, never to be seen again.
It took a long time to complete them, and I kept popping some in my mouth as I went along. Haha!
Then, I put them in a mini saucepan to marinate with the demerara sugar and sea salt I’d added.
I thought I’d watch the TV while continuing the blogging.
But I didn’t. It seems that some Whoopsiedangleplop had affected Virgin TV. Again!
I decided to get the ablutions tackled. And although something had to go wrong, it was chicken feed compared to my usual disasters.
The teeth-cleaning saw no blood leaks! The nasal clearing saw none either. Then the shaving was tackled… Believe it or not, but once again, no cuts – Zero! Had I not been already depressed so much, this would have cheered me up more.
The first obstacle that hindered (hurt) me so much was getting my diabetic socks off! Then offing the straps from the pathetic new catheter contraption. Painfully, I
finally got them off, and it had left me feeling a smidge dizzy from all the bending down.
But a man of my calibre, courage, determination, and grit, this was no trouble.
I had a slow, long shower, which was spoilt a tiny bit by having to use the handrails all the time while coping with the showerhead due to my unsteadiness. However, no stubbles, falls, or banging into anything were suffered! .
I realised I had not put the bath towel in the bag yesterday! I don’t like using one too often. But I lost one when someone nicked my laundry and bag a few weeks ago, and I keep forgetting (as is to be expected) to buy a new one. I recall thinking to myself, “I must order one today,” as I left the wet room to get dressed.
Even the medicating was almost pain-free! Amazing! , who has not visited me for days now, took her opportunity at the optimum time to issue the maximum pain. As I was carrying the stick, towels, Alarm bracelet, and flannels to go in the laundry bag before I got dressed, she kicked off, and in the process, she shoulder-charged the bloody door frame! Still, apart from this, I’d done well! As I emptied the pouch for the fifteenth time today, I saw how good the legs looked. Even the ankle ulcers seemed to be calmer. And incidentally, I’ve hardly had any of the expected lighting strikes from , either. Puzzling.
Took this snap of the clouds as I started getting the food prepared. Closing WP and the computer now. Hunger has returned to torment me. Haha!
I was happy with the result of the food prepping. It was the battle in podding the peas. I do love them peas. It may have been a higher rating, but the potatoes weren’t cooked enough; everything else was a treat. Adding the slices of red spring onion to it did the trick and tanged it all up. After gorging myself, I fell asleep with the tray balancing on my super-floppy ginormous belly. Work later with it in the same position, and not spread all over me and the floor. The ablutions going so well, too. Is my luck changing for the better? What am I saying… Tsk! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Please Have a Great Day!
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Regrettably, my depression lingers on. If things do not improve by tomorrow, my birthday (I was born in 1959… oh, no, that’s when I left school). I will ring the Doctor and then work out how I will get bathed and trousers on, medicated. Then, how to manage to get to the surgery, with the cartilage troubles and this new fandangled, made for someone with 10ft legs Catheter Contraption). I think it is important enough to struggle to get there, though. I’ve never felt so low for so long.
As for today, you tell me. Hahaha!
A few photos were taken to give me prompts.
I must beg her, if necessary, to get me back to the Highbury Hospital about these blanks, seizures, etc., occurring.
I fear, knowing me, my determination, that I think is strong as I write this… Will wain. I’ve done it before. No doubt I need some help. The mess with the changed catcher mess is painful and limits my movement. Stops me from dressing should I need to. The insert plug falling out did my confidence no good. No offers of any help with getting it back in. Then again, maybe someone did offer, and it went off into the ether… this is all worrying stuff about my sanity. I know that a carer helped me with emptying the bag earlier and tried to raise the tapes for me. But, of course, that assists me in getting down to the valve for emptying. But the pee will pee when it wants to nowadays.
Each time I have to reach down so far, either Dizzy Dennis or Balance Loss Brenda appears, and the filthy, incredibly long tube pokes or pulls Little Inchie, according to how full the bag is, and more bleeding starts.
Sorry to be so low, but I can usually control it to a degree. But many things suddenly need attention. From a medical professional, such as a body and/or mind doctor. Now I think about it again, it’s likely frustration more than depression? Huh, now Peripheral Neuropathy Pete’s right leg has started shaking and dancing.
I think I was not so low when I got up this morning. The Warfarin-DVT nurse came, and I was pretty with it. Talking to her, and I am pretty sure we had a laugh or two, and I enjoyed that.
But she soon sank down again after she had gone, and then Carer Chloe had left the flat. I’m struggling here. Then I have to tackle emptying the minuscule day-wee-wee pouch and elongating over-thick long tubing to empty it.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Usual dark wee-wee.
Nice dark morning.
Bright lights.
Computer on.
Off to the Porcelain Throne… He’s only just weakening!
Lighting up.
The Nurse from the… I love this title for a department…
DVT, CCG (DOAC) Anticoagulation Warfarin Clinic rang me. She asked if she could call today, I thanked her and said, ‘Please, please, please, do!’
She did about an hour later. She was amazed when she looked at the catheter contraption, which had the top strap in my crutch and the bottom release valve snuggling on my left slipper. Getting down to release the urine is tantamount to squashing out the six-inch-long black centre of a carbuncle!
“What an absolute mess; no wonder it’s painful. I then mentioned the top-end tube insertion falling out and my weeing myself. That got a laugh! Hahaha!
I selected another ready meal to have later.
A ‘Hearty’ Shepherds Pie. I put the oven chips in on a low light.
ONE MAMMOTH SEIZURE!
One minute, I said cheerio to Carer Chloe. Started on the blog.
Three hours later, it was as if someone had turned the lights back on. Yet, I was cleaning the kitchen sink. How the heck can that be? I found a photo that I can’t recall taking, and when I got back to the computer, what a mess I’d made. I uploaded the wrong day’s graphics and photos; I had to delete and rearrange them. Only to find I’d made the same error again!
Time to call for help tomorrow.
Took this photo later. Eerie clouds, I liked it.
Carer Chris arrived, and I think he may have made the call before. Or someone else did.
Blobble, Gobble, but I’m not sure.
Forgot to take a photo of the meal until I was ¾ of the way through eating it. Not bad.
This last photo looked similar to the one this morning?
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Amazingly accurate! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Slept for a full 3 uninterrupted hours. 03:00hrs to 06:00.
The nocturnal catheter had not been put on. Silly I had forgotten to attach it! The day bag contents looked dark again. Later, Carer Ayu classed it as being a six on the NHS scale. Getting out of the c1966, £300 charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner, was a lot easier than scrambling out of the hospital bed. But, more painful to fall back into when gave way as I stood up. The bed has a definite advantage to fall on; it’s so much higher! Another long session was spent on the . The usual practices were carried out; a go at the crossword, but no answers were found this time. I counted 22 cracks in the ceiling. started and kept up his long run of guilt accusing, and Ant-Inchy put-downs.
I gave up and had a wash, accompanied by escapades of smelly wind from the rear end! I put on a fresh gown, olive-oiled both of the earholes and took a Senna tablet in hopes of encouraging some movement from the rear end. Next, I creamed and ointmentated various gargantuan-sized wobbly belly areas requiring the same treatments.
I hobbled off to the kitchen to decide whether to make a mug of Glengettie tea. Arriving at decisions has not been easy for me lately. The brain goes off at a tandem. I consider the NHS two mugs-a-day ruling… is it too early? Will I want a third cup later tonight? Could I care less? I made one. And let it go cold after I’d started on the blog! I wiped the mug and prepared it for the next brewing of tea later on. Then, I took this photo from the kitchen window. It doesn’t show well, but I saw some items on the bottom of the upward-trodden path. I zoomed in close to identify what they were. I’m still not sure. Possibly, a bottle with red liquid in it. I have no idea what light-coloured things are. Should I have used the Macro when I zoomed in so far away or not? I didn’t. I’m confusing myself here! Snapped the sun coming up from behind in this shot (Right). I was working on the ode of the day when Carer Ayu arrived. He put the diabetic socks on my legs. Well, it’s better than putting them on my arms. Hehehe! Ayu administered the medications, and we shared a mini natter. I worked using CorelDraw and WordPress for a while. My concentration was a little better this morning, but it didn’t last!
I had a misleading idea that the rear-end wanted me to visit the .
As you can see, it was a hopeless effort yet again. I wonder if there’s a chance of an explosion from within, with the ether being created in the building up of mass in the solid matter. Hahaha!
Darned uncomfortable feeling.
I did my best. When I started, I had one solution for the crossword, but I had a lot more when I gave up on the motion moving anytime now.
Will I implode instead? I took even more of the anti medications. I’m unsure if it was safe to take any more, but I can’t read the minuscule printing of the inserted instructions leaflets.
I made another brew of my beloved Glengettie tea.
Nice and strong!
Pressed on with this blog. With staying up so late yesterday, I’d got some done ready. I was on CorelDraw and was alternating with this WordPress blog, and got blowback pains from the catheter tube stuck in Little Inchie. Had a look and, to my utter amazement, found the pouch so full, hard and heavy; it had tugged at Little Inchie, causing some bleeding again.
When I emptied it into the measuring jug, it showed 840ml! In an hour. I wish the community nurses would allow me to try peeing manually again. I’d hate to think I could and had had the darned on all this time and didn’t need it. What am I thinking and saying? As if anything would go right for me!
Ah, genuine rumbling from my innards this time. I’m off to the Throne. And yet again, no evacuation!
Plenty of pain, though.
Five minutes after getting back to blogging, I was on my way back to the wet room. This time… Action Stations Alert! After a lot of effort, struggles, and phenomenal pain, at last, the blood-covered, almost cube-shaped lumps of concrete passed! Ahhh!
When Carer Precious arrived, I just had one Paracetamol because I’d just taken a few sprays of the toothache painkiller and didn’t want to mix the different types.
I made a start on tomorrow’s ode.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – FOOD TIME! MEAL OF THE WEEK TODAY
At the point of perfection!
Delicious Beef in black bean sauce. Onions, leeks, and peppers are yellow and green. Liquid smoke was added to the extra-strong gravy. Basil, sea salt, oregano, beetroot juice, black pepper and spirit vinegar!
Carer Richard arrived as I nodded off in the poorly-aged, grotty-looking c1966 made, charity-shop-bought, horribly beige-coloured, £300, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, non-operational, acne-giving, virus-breeding, rickety, easy-to-fall-out-of recliner, after cleaning the pots up.
He looked a lot better than last week. But of course, we shared ailments that we both know will only worsen. He said he’d call again in the morning. Hope he has a calmer night shift.
What an evening view I took from the kitchen window.
The wind was getting up again out there. The gold and brown showed up wonderfully well.
I did a bit of pareidoliaing with this shot. I found a bird’s head and a whale and got pleasure from looking at nature’s beauty.
I returned to the computer to catch up a little with this blog.
But it didn’t last for long. Crumple-Grips! Mini Seizures took over. My concentration was destroyed. I’m not complaining, though, cause had been kind to me most of the day. Of course, now I’ve said that… Wait for it!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – BONUS ODE All the best to you and all in your abode, I’ve just watched a ‘Heartbeat’ episode, I may be selling my second-hand commode… Then to the Porcelain Throne, I bestrode, My teeth still ache; well, they’re getting owd, Many broken, coming out, and yellowed! New ailments weekly by the vanload, Worries, fears, jealousies I can’t unload, Always something to discommode, I don’t see any of the twittering sparrows, They used to fill the local hedgerows? I hear voices, see faces in the shadows… I can’t swim, but I paddle in the shallows, Take photos of the sky through my windows. Also, of the grass, trees and weeping willows… This reminds me that I must get some new pillows! I forget my telephone number & postcode, Left taps running, the sink overflowed, Can someone adopt me? Put me in ‘Happy-Mode’? Doreen Dementia wants me to explode! Stuck in this flat, alone, cocooned! That’s enough, too-much, I have moaned. Sorry about the aforementioned. Pots to wash, I’ll get myself aproned!
For most of today, I’ve felt like a malcontent, grinch, drag, miserabilist, doom-sayer, inconsolable and pitiable, sad, comfortless, inadequate, mardy, shameful, irrational, and an old self-deprecation-ridden misfit with the mopes.
Moments of depression like never before.
And yet, there were moments of almost the reverse. I’d lose the prophet of Doom mode entirely. Finding myself singing, unworried, accepting, almost uncaring of what was happening?
Naturally, these sessions of freedom were in the minority.
But, so welcome while they lasted.
Concentration and confusion seemed to intertwine.
After a Caregiver called, I had an hour of uninhibited, sod-them-all pleasure. Up to now, I’ve only had two photographing sessions. Hell, it’s raining again, as it did earlier. I’ll get the camera out and go on the balcony again. See if the mudslide in the third car park has started yet.
It’s been a befuddling day. I feel that something is going to happen shortly that will be life-changing. E.Q. tells me this will not be a medical or physical problem. He’s rarely wrong, and I get a ‘within 48hrs warning from somewhere.
This does not bode well.
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Back to darker again.
NUFFIN!
I took a series of Kodak-2 shots from the kitchenette window.
The first one shows mist in the distance. The M1 motorway is just out of view over the horizon.
The second shot is not a good picture by any means. A smidge on the blurry side. But you can’t win them all, can I? Hahaha! The third effort taken, I zoomed in on the Nottingham City Hospital, which brought to mind the waiting list I’m on for the
For a bladder check-up, I’ve forgotten the name of the procedure.
Then, there is another close-up of the local dwellings nearby.
Finally, I took a shot down to show the Chestnut Way front car park. Or at least part of it. I hit my head, closing the window. Hard to believe, I know!
Made a start on the blog updating.
Raining shots with the spare camera. From the balcony this time.
Another no evacuation evacuation.
A little more rain.
An early, tasty meal.
Obviously, the blanks and seizures were rampant. Thus, there are no details or exciting bits to add.
Did anything I miss happen today? The photos are 85% skies? Still, the state I was in could be worse.
Ah, missed the sun on its way down. It didn’t get through often today.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Constipation Conrad was still in full charge of the evacuations. I had to do the ablutions so late at night that I had to contain the urge to howl out with the pain! Before things started moving, I had a go at the crossword and got four answers. 👌 And I had a cut-less shave! 👍🏻The showering had a couple of dodgy moments, but no or . The only bit of farce was when I was trying to reassemble the catheter contraption. I struggled with the strap; I’d threaded it in okay, but when I stretched the retaining strap to tighten the grip, it shot out of my hand, through the plastic buckle, and straight into the WC! The medicationings went well. Well, not applying the Daktarin cream to Little Inchys Fungal Lesion, but that goes without saying, really; Every morning and night, I have to go through this, although short-lived, agony!
I took this snap from the kitchen window after the ablution session. It took me 95 minutes; it was well past midnight. I opened a can of lager shandy and got on the computer to finalise this blog. I might even finish it and post it. My involuntary anticipatory anxiety remains strong.
I’m nervous. Worried. Unsettled. More than usual. Tsk! TTFNski!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – & ruled the day and had or played a part in every minute of the day. At one stage, while the Carer was here, I lost track of what we were talking about altogether. The teeth and earholes seemed to be competing to see who could hurt me most! Not all the time, there were breaks and the pain only lasted for 19hrs I was up and about. Then got worse when I settled into the bed! Arrgh! & Cragnangles! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Later, Carer Richard gave the urine colour a 7+ grade. I didn’t think it was that back. But, me having Protanopia, I’m can’t really tell.
I poddled into the kitchen and saw the dying-off rainbow. In a rush to get a camera, I found the spare one first and used it. I didn’t want to risk the rainbow dissipating before I got back to take some pictures of it using the camera’s auto mode.
Not very distinct, but I thought it was beautiful. and it gave me the idea for today’s ode theme. I soon felt grumblings from the innards and made my way to the wet room. I made a new tag for this one. The surprise of Constipation Conrad returning again after one day of Trotsky Terence regaining charge of matters was bad enough. But I tried five times over the day up to now (16:00hrs). And I still haven’t passed nowt from the rear end! I took more photos of the view as the sun was coming around the blocks of flats. Still using the spare camera… until I can find where I left the new Kodak2. It’s a new camera, but obviously not a current model. It takes four AA batteries, and is short of many options that were on the one that Tim Price donated to me. No through-glass or in-rain options on it. But the bonus is, I had a similar camera twelve years ago, and can work things out easier on the new-old one. It has a macro option, which I hope to try today. On with updating yesterday’s blog. Which was constantly concentration-affected periods every time that either, or kicked off. Believe me, they all constantly did. Later on, when I went to get a wash, I coughed and both the ear and the teeth stung painfully. The inside of my mouth seemed to have swollen. A bit of one of the front teeth broke off. When I used the facecloth anywhere near the face, the nose, cheeks, and throat hurt like hell each time I touched the area. I gave up, thinking the pain would ease off later. They didn’t! I asked each Caregiver if they could call the Dentist for me, but I got a negative response. I think I must be moaning about things so much that they don’t hear or listen to me. Hahaha!
I hobbled my way into the kitchen, and the tiniest spots of rain I’d ever seen were falling. For some reason, a pt insects landed on the windows. I took the opportunity to try a Macro on the camera. (I found it hidden in full view near the Carers nibble pots.) I could not hold the camera steady enough to take a closer shot
Carer Joanne came in to return the nightshirts she had hand-washed for me. Bless her cotton socks. ♥ Gave her some treats in appreciation.
The very fine rain was falling again. I checked for signs of a mudslide in the end car park on Citrus Way. The rain had stopped again. Then, I heard the rumble of thunder. I went back out on the balcony and saw that many other tenants were out on their balconies to take a look. I think we all expected a downpour this time. But no, it was all dry again. We could do with a good downpour or more!
The sky brightened, and no signs of rain showed us any interest.
kicked off painfully, and I used up the last of the toothache spray. Now I have to search around to see where I put the other bottle! I found it in a kitchen drawer, and I walloped a Dollop into my mouth and olive-oiled the right earhole to ease who was joining in the other ailments attacks. Humph! I fear I may be using too much of the medications. But how can I get in touch with the dentist? Oh, I’d better get their telephone number ready. Got it! The bank keeps sending me codes to pay LV insurance with? Kara paid them last week, along with an increase in the price of 50%! Grrr!
I’ll get summat to eat – that’s soft enough for the teeth.
Carer Precious arrived. I hoovered the carpet and went to make a meal. I’ll be back later, or maybe much later.
I made the softest meal I could manage. It was not too bad pain-wise either, although long after eating the mini-feast, kicked-off again. Making me suffer yet another ever-awakening night of misery.
I took this shot as I washed the things from the meal. Carer Precious arrived. No socks to take off; no one had put them on for me.
