James Timothy Gerald Archibald Percival Chambers

Inchy: Monday 1st January 2024

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The FND symptoms were worse today,
Reflux Roger with the airway,
Hassle from Catheter Cathy,
Glaucoma Gladys, hard to see!
Again, no one telephoned me,
Puerility, self-hostility, and humility,
More Whoopsiedangleploppery,
Inchys Fungal Lesion bloody…
The lapsing muddy memory,
Help from Joanne & Marie…
They were searching for my lost laundry,
The laundry location? Another mystery…
My mind & body mode? Inadequacy!
I had moments of feeling lonely!
A Thought Storming Steve, argie-bargie,
Life’s inadequacy, inarticulacy, indeterminacy,
Talking of me having a Zimmer yesterday?
I wonder if I could manage a Segway?
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Up late this morning, and still only got 5 hours kip.

Great healthy colouring!

A blurry first photo.

Later and lighter.
With the moon lingering?

Brew and computering.

For the next three hours, yet bits I recall very well. Carer Marie arrived and helped me search the flat for the missing laundry bag that I felt had not yet been returned. No luck. And Marie and Joanne returned, on their tea breaks, to give the flat a good rummage looking for the bag. Bless them! No signs.

Fatigued and confused, I stopped blogging and made a meal. Recall taking a photo of it, but it didn’t make it to the SD card. Another of the Mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morganas, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind?

Washed the pots. And took three snaps of the stainless, yes, I said rainless view on offer from the kitchen window. Hehehe!
To the left. The suspected cannabis growers dwellings.
Straight ahead. Showing the house that had been having improvements done now for about eight months on their roof extensions. A rare sight to see any workers working, but one saw one today.

To the right, behind the beautiful tree copse.

Carer Victor did the last two calls. I took his Health Checks on the next to last call.

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Keep Safe!

INCHY: Thursday 3rd August 2023

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So much time lost with computer & CorelDraw problems; this will have to be a quickie, in an effort to get caught up!
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Up and at them… well…

Night Pouch.

Oh, dear… not so good.

Morning view.

Asda (Walmart) Delivery.
Drinkies for The bladder.
Food!
More food!
Medical, Laundry & Washing.
I then went to add stuff to the Nurse’s & Carer’s treat drinks…
I knocked some cans while adding them to the display…
One can fell on my Onychovryptosis toe – Dismay!
Cans fell every this and that way!
So I rebuilt the cans & bottles on display!

Clouds for a pareidolia.

Pod pea shelling in the afternoon.
I had a few peas on the floor!

Later clouds for a pareidolia.

Super-Nosh!
Beetroots, knuckles, fresh pod peas, chips
and some delightful tomatoes.
Taste Rating: 9.2/10!

The ankle looked easier and less inflamed.

Late Sunset.

TTFN

It’s been a Funny Old Life.. Part 3 Updated

I started with nothing, I’ve got most of it left.

At shoplifting Mother was rather deft,

Eventually they charged her with fraud and theft,

At this I wanted to cheer and wave a wheft,

But she got off with it, and I was bereft!

I left school, started working at just fourteen,

Mother reappeared on our then contented scene,

‘Cause for several years she’d hardly been seen,

This meant I’d be broke before I was fifteen,

After most of our valuables were never again seen,

Mother disappeared to stay with Auntie Eugene,

Who later also went bankrupt we did gleen,

It not that she was nasty, cruel or mean,

She’d just leave you without a flipping bean!

But she’s sadly missed by many you see,

By magistrates, solicitors and many P and DC,

There’s often times when comes back in me memory,

In me nightmares usually.

Dad knew for Mam’s next return I had no yearning,

And she would return when I started earning,

And when she did, things would be worsening,

Bank manager and wallet regretted her returning,

The neighbours got new locks, tongues were burning,

How to lock their doors they were relearning!

She told us she was a changed person nowadays,

She’d become kinder and changed her ways,

Having just avoided the judge sending her to Strangeways,

After with the police the pillock did liaise,

The magistrates let her off with probation – this did amaze,

And that meant the restart of Dads and my malaise,

She soon started selling t’neighbours none-existent holiday chalets,

We were really worried when she offered Dad praise,

She soon ended up back in her old ways.

Conning, shoplifting, bingo halls, fag-end collecting, even conned a solicitor,

She became locally famous for that one hereafter,

The magistrates this time, got even dafter,

Let her off again – in the courtroom there was much laughter!

They gave her a flat, and furnished it, believe that can you?

The rent they paid half of it for her, and the gas bills too,

Half of the electricity bills, and scrubbed her debts it’s true!

Arranged for her flat to be decorated and furnished all through,

As she left the Court, she smiled widely and off she flew,

I imagined her inwardly shouting “Yabbadabbadoo”!

And Crime Don’t Pay some idiot will tell you!

I suppose I’ll meet her again in heaven maybe I think so a bit,

I’d better prepare for when I go and snuff-it,

I’ll spend all me dosh now, before she can get her hands on it!

Bless Her – See yer in a bit Mam!

Part 13: A Nottingham Lad’s True Tales of Woe

Yes you’ve guessed it; dear mummy did yet another bunk.

Immediately after she absconded, the usual callers seeking her whereabouts were received: Loan sharks, bookies, neighbours, solicitors, the police and various others. We even had a Nun call? Never did get to the bottom of that one. Why the policeman would arrive looking for Mother with a dog I’m not sure; maybe the dog was new and he wanted to tests its bravery if she was there? The usual note was found left on the table. They usually went something like: ‘Gone to Matilda’s to look after her for a few days ‘cause she’s poorly’. Why she did not just tell the truth ‘Coppers after me, must go on the run’ I just don’t know? Perhaps, her being an excellent con artist, she thought if she showed herself in a good light in the note she left, it might soften the resolve of the authorities and people she owed money to pursue the debts?

However, the resulting events this time were of a more interesting nature.

The night after she left, dad and me were sitting by the fire, when the door was knocked upon, Dad (a rarity when I was available) answered the door himself to find two bullish men who were representing ‘Brental’s Hire Purchase Furniture Shop’, on Carrington Street, asking to talk to a James Timothy Gerald Archibald Percival Chambers (eight year old me?) about a hire-purchase agreement on a three piece suite that has not been paid. (We have never had a new three piece suite; one would not have fitted into the house anyway!)

Dad tried to explain to them that J T G A P Chambers was eight years old, and started to open the door so they could see me, when one of the bullish types made the mistake of trying to push past daddy to get into the house.

When the ambulances left the scene, the local bobby said: “Not to worry Harry, those two had it coming to ‘um, any further trouble give me a call, any time mate.”

The only time I recall my Dad knocking hell of anyone but me.

The Part-Time Jobs wot Dad got fer me…

Dad soon started to organise me unwilling search for employment.

Nearby where we lived (did I say lived?) was a hardware store on Kirk Wight Street, Heason’s was the name.

Daddy very kindly got me a Saturday job with them, to help supplement my double paper round jobs funds.

I think I got paid 2/3d for a full nine hour day (11p). But it didn’t last too long. Among my duties, was burning the weeks rubbish in the back yard, and delivering small items bought in the shop to customers on an ‘errand boy’s bike’.

On about the fourth weekend, I set fire to the shed, then the bike ended up under a trolleybus on Arkwright Street, when I came off on the icy road, and the table lamp that was in the basket got broke… well crushed under the trolleybus wheels actually!

I was not injured in either incident, not that anyone asked.

Mr Heason was very good about it, and let me work for another two Saturdays and kept my wages in payment for the lamp, and damage repairs to the bike before sacking me.

Daddy was not pleased, and sent me immediately to the Grove cinema, to apply for the job advertised as a gas-lamp lighter, and snuffer in the evenings and weekend.

Amazingly they took me on straight away, and paid well too, about 7/6d a week. And! – I got to see the pictures, even the X-rated for free! It things a bit hectic cause on the lighting shift, I had to dash back home and wait for Dad to return whenever, and light the fire and get his nosh for him. The Snuffing-out shift was okay, and I got to search through the rows of seats for anything that had been dropped or left behind by the clientele.

Amongst my ‘odder’ finds were; A Parade magazine, contraceptives, a walking stick, umbrella, a hobbing iron, shoes, cigarettes, a prosthetic leg, coins, and one day; A ten shilling Note! These were amongst many other items.

Of course I still had to fit in school, chopping wood for the fire, clearing and cleaning out the fire grate, laying it in readiness for Dad’s return from work (remembering not to light it until he actually arrived home, Dad thought lighting it for one was a little financially extravagant).

The housework, the shopping, (when I could extract any money from Dad), cooking etc.

Of course mother returned later, Dad paid off her debts again – and we started hiding out valuables again. Tsk!