Trotsky Terence – Page 4

Inchy Today: Saturday 12th April 2025

I love it!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
SELF-ASSESMENT
What is causing me all this strife,
I’ve no hopes, no hair, no wife…
Few teeth and avoid any lowlife,
I don’t enjoy any high life….
My ailments that are ignored but rife,
I’m kind to people and wildlife,
I’ve purposely avoided being altercative,
My mind, at best, is approximative!
I may get better, but only if…
The brain stops going adrift…
The medics understand me, get my drift,
Anne Gyna leaves my chest, neck & midriff,
Then I can feel less aggrieved!
And, a miracle can be achieved!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Catch-up
Think I missed these snaps of the red moon last night. It’s a reasonable effort for me.
Well pleased with this one!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I got a call on the intercom. The man muttered something and disappeared. I thought this might have been the Amazon delivery of the beef and day catheter pouches. While waiting for them to be delivered to the door, I checked the Amazon tracker, which told me they had been delivered. There was no sign of it coming up. I bet the rascally driver has left them in the foyer lobby!
I had to get dressed, and went down with the three-wheeled walker and stick to investigate.
Sure enough, there were two bashed-up boxes on the lobby floor. The problem was that one was for a flat on the tenth floor, and the other was for a smaller one, mine. I could get that box on top of the wheeler, and I did. A lady’s name was on the other parcel, and as I took my box up, I stopped to tell her about the box in the lobby. I explained that I’d go back down after dropping my box at my flat, provided nobody had nicked it, and I’d bring it up for you.
So, I went up to my flat. I think both boxes had been looked into, but my two items were there. I went back down to the ground floor. The lady’s box was still there, and I realised how heavy it was.
I felt a smidge of pride in helping out, like others had done for me. Gawd, it was hard work. I could only balance the box on top of the walker and almost staggered up to the lady’s flat with the box. I should think the fastest I managed to move could have been half a mile an hour. Hehe! I almost lost it getting out of the lift. Phew! But I got to the flat and put the box inside for her.

Envri almost delivered it. Surely they can see it is an elderly persons warden-aided complex here? Or not.

At least it tired me out enough, I hoped, for me to get to sleep quicker than usual. Huh!

0640hrs: Again, I say again… I woke up without any , , and was just not there! Oh, if only this could happen regularly. It felt great! Mind you, I think I had six hours kip! Yee-Har!

I knew I had a lot to do on the blog catching up, so I finished Fridays as soon as possible.
Then I got carried away doing the ode, which I was very much struggling with for some unknown reason.

Carer Ahmen arrived. We chatted as he put on the diabetic socks. He graded the urine, and I went to empty the nocturnal catheter bag. Grungleslapnerds!
I only found that I’d left the hot water tap running again, and it must have been for a long time because the water was icy! So, no showering, shaving, or cleaning up now! It won’t be until tonight when the night heater kicks in to warm it up.
It’s just as well; I’d have much more time to waste making messes and mistakes on the ode. Humph!

Ahmed returned for the 2nd call of the day.
Whilst he was here, Anne Gyna kicked-off!
I also have a Peptac guzzle as Reflux. Roger joined in the onslaught.

There were a few mini-seizures; at one stage, they were on and within seconds of each other!

Once more, the day seems to have flashed before my eyes. I’m going to get something to eat now.

The sun went in.

A SHOWER-OF-SEIZURES FOR AN HOUR!
Mini-Myoclonic seizures, with a few of the Ménière’s thrown into the mix. My inbred, one of my oldest ailments , was on and off all day.
This bout of them left me tired out and weary beyond the realms of possibility. I was done for! All in. So the computer was abandoned early.
I made a meal.
I ate it in an artistic fashion. Spilling some of it on my chest, legs, dressing gown and kaghoule.
Why, you ask? (I hope) I kept falling asleep! Something of a miracle that I didn’t drop the whole lot along with the tray it was on! Oh, I found some on the £300 second-hand shop bought, c1966. moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly-beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not working recliner.
It was an effort getting up to sort things out and wash the pots, but I’m glad I did. The moon was in view, so I fetched Kodak Tim 2 to take a photo of it.
Nice!

I foolishly tried to stay awake to see the highlights of Nottingham Forest’s match. Zzzz!
I was waking up so often that I’m not sure I had more than three hours of actual sleep.
The full works tonight that I’d hoped I would sleep like a baby, being so drained. But, No!
I recall being rudely awakened by , , , , , and . But there may have been others in the onslaught. Oh, yes, I remember, & .
Each time I was woken, I needed to sort out what was happening. I seemed annoyed and a little out of it.
At one stage, I just had to get and use the toothache spray from the computer desk. I stubbed my toe against the Ottoman as I moved back to the hospital bed! But I think I was soon back in the land of nod again after each visit—not for long, of course. The next ailment soon arrived to join in the nocturnal ‘Let’s-Bugger’ Inchy’s sleep-up routine. I think that had it not been for the damned seizures leaving me so done in, I could have coped with the lack of sleep, instead of getting annoyed and sorry for myself, which no doubt helped bring on the again.
Not one of better nights.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –
TTFNski!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Inchy Today: Thursday 10th April 2025

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I was once a young, fit, healthy, wise-guy
Girls? I kept out a watchful eye,
With my lower regions, I know not why,
It was harder then, with no wi-fi.
>>>>><<<<<
Life then started to become stunted,
The body aged, it became transfigured,
My sense of balance, weaved & wobbled,
My thoughts came oddly technicoloured.
>>>>><<<<<
Ageing makes you crocheted & crusted,
Arithmophobia, dates, figures & numbers…
Mistakes galore, you feel daunted,
Mental capacity, slowly degenerated!
>>>>><<<<<
After Toileting, the room must be fumigated,
Constipation? Teeth need to be gritted!
Facts, figures? Are at best guesstimated,
Decision making? Wrongly, not at all, or belated,
>>>>><<<<<
Instructions not understood, misinterpreted,
In conversations, words can be misheard,
Burning food, taps left on, safety neglected,
Leg lesions medicated and bandaged daily medicated and bandaged,
>>>>><<<<<
Living in a crime-filled neighbourhood,
No help with the computer – I spit blood!
Impossible to get life orchestrated,
No confidence can be radiated!
>>>>><<<<<
Feeling defeated, doubted, rejected,
All I write needs to be repeatedly subedited,
Self-disgust, self-taunted, vision tinted,
Fears & worries are now ever accessed!
>>>>><<<<<
Dark Dank Duncan Depressed,
Labour in power, as antisocialists,
Starmer, the bleakest Conservatist!
I hope death brings peace and rest,
If so, I’ll be so blessed!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I had much better sleep in the bed last night.
The problem was, I think I’d had nocturnal seizures, possibly. Because the quilt and covers were all over the place, and the pillow was on the floor. Somehow, I’d changed the settings on the bed mover control. It’s hard to believe how I slept at all. I was right at the top of the bed, yet bent forward so much, with a dip halfway down the bed, and the end and top bits raised to the maximum.
I woke up at 05:00. By the time I’d refigured the bed to a faux semi-comfortable position, ready for use tonight or in the morning, it was 06:00- Tsk!
Here I go again, sensing some challenges may present themselves to me this Thursday. Everything was normal, then! Tsk!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I detached the night pouch from the day pouch. I was so concerned with the state of the bed. I didn’t realise the night bag was even on. What’s more, I didn’t have any fauxpas, trips or leaks for the hour when the pouch dragged along, entangling itself around my foot and leg!
Now I was concerned! How did I manage that?
I fear I can only put it down to one thing… are you ready for this?… Good Luck! Now, I don’t say that very often. Especially after the Carer helped me out yesterday. He did a grand job for me. Questions for any God, philosopher or neurologist: Is my luck changing for the better? Will I cope with the shock, or have another stroke? Why did good luck wait nearly 80 years to appear? Will I live long enough to enjoy it? Will it continue? (It didn’t.) Can I get NHS instruction on how to be contented? Hahaha!

Starting with a visit to the .
I was back in control. But once the chunks started evacuating, it took a while for them to stop clunking into the water below.
More than yesterday’s big dollop!

A stand-up wash. I didn’t have time to shower in case either the nurses or the Iceland delivery came earlier. I strip washed, soaking the feet as I shaved and did the teggies, then moved on to the self-medicating of my problematic areas. Argh!
Olive-oiled the ears, sprayed the eyes, Phorpain gelled the knees and cartilages, and ointmentated each Acne and eczema area. As usual, I left the most painful bit to the end.
I gritted my teeth, cleaned as instructed, heroically pulled the skin back, and squeezed the ointment in a drop. That was bad enough, but I had to massage it from the outside each time. Self-imposed agony! But it was nothing to a man of my calibre, heroism and upper pain limit. I may even have been singing to myself as I massaged it in.

When I turned on the computer, I realised I had a fair bit to do on yesterday’s blog.
It had been the busiest day for years!

As I was making a start, Carer ‘Joe’ arrived. I didn’t ask him to take the socks off cause they were not put on last night. Haha! Maybe I could join a touring fairground group as their Memory Man? Har-har!
My medications were issued. The lad said something about what he planned to do next week in flats the clean-up campaign.

I pressed on with the blog, but then it got busy again. The delivery came.
Seven carrier bags worth.
I got the fresh stuff away.
4 items unavailable & 2 substitutions.
Topped up the nurses & carers shelf with the new Pepsi flavours that came.
A well-overfilled filled top cupboard.
The danger of falling through the floor into the flat below the cupboard of cans of food. I shouldn’t starve to death for a month or two! Hehe!
Why did I stock up to ridiculous? What made me suddenly panic so over food stores? Am I going mad?
I’m not sure if it’s Peripheral Neuropathy, Cognitive Impairment Iris, Ménière’s disease, Episodic Ataxia, FND, Receptive Aphasia Phyllis, Diabetic Dementia, Absence seizures, or the Myoclonic seizures that may have caused this stupider-than-usual action on my behalf. Would doing such activities that I’ve not done for so long, like cleaning up, wear me out?

I managed to get the blog posted a little later than usual. And the fatigue started to fall.

THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY!
The intercom rang, and I thought it might be the tinned food I’d also ordered from Amazon.
Life lifted, and a smile came over my craggy, aged face. (It does that occasionally).
It was my treasured Hristina, the DVT Warfarin Blood Nurse. The heart beat a little faster, and my Angel was soon in the flat.
I mentioned that I’d run out of Enoxaparin-filled hypos. She said if they need you to start stabbing your stomach 8 times a day, they will ensure you get some. That put my mind at rest. She took the blood for testing, and we spoke of something else, but with my heart beating and eyes so busy watching and listening to Hristina—such a wonderfully calming person and so kind. 🤎

I started this blog in the late afternoon.

Then, the Amazon tinned foods arrived!
I then had to store these tinned meals on the floor!
It’s horrible having a lack of control!

Carer ‘Joe’ arrived and was as aghast as I was at the canned food I bought! No medications were needed. They were, but I forgot to ask for the Peptac and Codeine. I managed to make a brew of tea, and when I got back with it, one of the regular patches was in the regular place on the carpet. Yet I could not find any urine spillages on my legs or slippers. One of the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, grotesque succubae, Whoopsiedangleplops, ailments, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, Accifauxpas, rent increases, food price hikes, Starmer robbing all we pensioners, and other Fata Morganas, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind, logicalty and depressions!

Carer ‘Joe’ came on his teatime visit.
Embarrassingly, the pee-time one as well, haha!
He convinced me that it was not urine because there was no smell. He suggested that I may have spilt the catheter, which needed spring water.
He’s got the measure of me now, he has! Hehe!

Back to this blog. The eyes faded, and the fatigue returned almost instantly. I was so tired and weary.

I foolishly tried to continue this blog. It was farcical and hopeless, so I gave up. So, I’ll be even further behind by morning. Humph!
I’ll try to stay alert enough to get the comments & WordPress reader read.
I’ll make the meal later.

Aha! I caught the sunset.
Not as good as yesterdays’

But fair for me.

I was expecting a last Carer call, but it’s 21:40hrs now.
I’ve probably got confused. Yes, I think I did. Fool!
Carer ‘Joe’ came a little earlier than usual. I’ve just seen the nocturnal catheter pouch on the chair.
I can’t cope with my decline very well. Tsk!

I’ll get the food in the microwave. I made it up in the tray earlier, so it should be ready in the oven in ten minutes. It consists of minced beef in gravy, sliced water chestnuts, pickled beetroots, red onions, tomatoes, garden peas, and a can of potatoes. It is also seasoned with vinegar, Worcester Sauce, and thick sliced bread for dunking. I hope it all goes well. I’ll let you know in the morning!

Good Moring!
The meal looked and smelled amazing!
I made too much. But ate ¾ of it.
NICE!
Into the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, catheter-tube-trapping recliner, to watch a nature documentary. I’m glad to say that I didn’t get to see it.
This was due to my drifting off to sleep.
There were far too many waking-ups, but I did get back off quickly each time.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Keep Smiling! Or, not like. Hehehe!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Inchy: Tuesday, 8th April 2025

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Helpful Note: A shilling was 12d=1/ – now 5p

In my morning slumber, I started musing,
Back to the day when things were amusing,
1963, when sliced bread went up to a shilling,
The reaction of the shoppers were chilling,
They brought some; some they were stealing,
A near riot, on price-rise day proceedings,
Last week, the loaf cost me £1 – shocking!
This week, £1.49! Not reassuring!
Maybe I’ll take up shoplifting.

The monthly cost for gas & electricity…
I’m back talking again of 1963,
Cost 15/- the equivalent then to 75p,
Last month, my payment went up to £423!
Starmer’s stopped our winter fuel subsidy,
Not enough cash for price rises absorbability,
Proletariats, pensioners now in poverty,
Rates, rents, power, costs rising steeply,
Our NHS crumbles, pleasing the oligarchy.

Forcing some to turn to crime, effectively
Eat or heat, food banks, charities competing,
A diet of bread & water? It’s called Xerophagy,
At today’s price of bread & water, it’s alarming!
Families, children and the aged geriatrically,
Is Starmer not aware of the voters’ suffering?
Go shopping today, do it vigilantly,
They’ll be muggers, pickpockets lurking,
Nutters, looking to act adversarially.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Hand Washing.
I’m fed up with this!

Ankles, lower legs much clearer today.

Afternoon kitchen shot.,
THe ankles started the electric shock going later.
Carer Ahram out some cream on and leg bandage,
I can take it off Wed’ when the nurse arrives.

Sorry, not much on today; it’s been a borrowing Tuesday. The prospects for Wed & Thursday are worse than today. I’m not sure of the days, but between Wed & Thursday:
Nurse Caroline ♥ Is calling to do another upgraded Dementia Test.
A DVT Nurse ♥ is calling for extra blood for further tests. The Warfarin INR is dangerously low at 1.6.
The district nurse ♥ is calling to check on my leg lesions and the acne-eczema.
The Urology Nurse ♥ is due to visit to alternate the catheter bag.
I’ve got two deliveries expected between noon and 22:00 hours. Medical & food.
Carer ‘Joe’ is doing the laundry. After that, I have to get the two airers out to dry the washing.

It is late Wednesday morning now.
I’m not looking forward to today.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
TTFN
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Inchy: Monday, 7th April 2025

LIBERTY-GLOBAL-OLIGARCHS?
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – WELL, LOOSELY! – – –
Let’s delve into the truth of ‘Hope’, clinically,
To see if it developed from ampullosity,
‘Hope’ to me seems somewhat bizarrerie,
Because finding it is hard for me…
I don’t act belligerently or truculently,
I’m a ditherer, I don’t act confidently,
My Carer say’s I’ve got too much benignity,
I think I’m shy, nervous and cowardly,
There I go off the subject again, you see?
I’ll try to concentrate more, hopefully…
‘Hope’, to me, seems to be, hypothetically,
A forlorn dream, with no reality…
I thought ‘Hope’ would help Inchy,
But I forgot about his mental instability,
His? I’m him! Another drift from verity,
I still want ‘Hope’ & help regardlessly,
Although I see the pointless futility,
Sometimes I consider ‘Hope’, frivolously,
The next time, maybe negatively,
Then back to frustration & hostility,
Yet I still try so desperately…
Then I go all unenthusiastically,
Depression falls, I turn apathetically…
A seizure, a giving way from Cartilage Chloe,
The coming arrival of complacently,
And I ‘Hope’ for ‘Hope’, pessimistically,
Body & mind acting chaotically,
Ménière’s Mini-seizures, increasingly,
I think I must not lose hope, glibly…
I even turned for help to quixotry!
As if to prove my eccentricity,
Or maybe that ought to be docility?
My physical ailments seem a triviality,
Finding ‘Hope’ & help, surely unrealistically,
The Lord made my life qualificatory…
A body and mind, deformed & queachy,
Doomed; never be happy or peachy,
I have had luck! But only quadrennially,
I acted rightly & astutely, well, in 1953,
I’m more hopeful for my sempiternity…
Not knowing where or when, for eternity,
Pray, please, no return ticket awaitingly!
If I find ‘Hope,’ will it also make me lucky?
Finding ‘Hope’, I try so persistently…
‘Hope’, is it mythical? It’s beyond me!
Why is it such a mystery to me?
Is ‘Hope’ biodegradable and sugar-free?
Why is it issued unequally, unfairly?
I can’t get any ‘Hope’, that’s a certainty,
No ‘Hope’ within by boundaries, locality,
I live in la-la land despondently…
And a part-reality, customarily,
Like others ‘Hope’ seeking, despondently,
I collect bills and demands; it’s called scripophily,
Carer Joe sorts them out for me weekly,
No offers of hope delivered to Inchy…
Finding ‘Hope’ may help propitiatingly,
‘Hope’ I get it before my necropsy!
Sorry about this Ode’s nugacity,
Call on me, & we’ll have a mug of tea,
Ice cream and/or chocolate biscuits…
I’d love a chinwag, mischievously!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Got yesterday’s nosh photo to go on!
Well, I think it was.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I didn’t rise until gone 0630hrs this morning. I’d had a long sleep again, broken, but not all that often. I reckon I got six hours in, and that was on the incommodious, uncomfortable, cumbrous, toe-curling, cringe-making, second or third-hand bought from the Oxfam Charity shop, Cathleen-Catheter-Tube-Crushing, hurtful for Harold’s Haemorrhoids, germ-ridden, horrendously grungy, uncomfortable, not-working recliner.
I felt a little perky when I got up and decided to clear the waste bins, etc. I
pictured & emptied the night bag. U6 rating.
Took a snap of the morning view out of the kitchenette window. I was hit by another of the odd seizures where I knew what was happening, but I was unsure why or what.

This was followed by general confusion and an almost total lack of concentration. I coughed, bringing up phlegm, and my voice went croaky. Walking, it was not easy to keep my balance.
Carer Ahman arrived. He showed concern and again wanted to phone for an ambulance. I disuaded the lad, telling him I was going to get in the bed as soon as he finished. I assured him I’d use the alarm wristlet if things didn’t improve after I’d had a kip. I’m sure we spoke of other things, but not what about? He put my diabetic socks on and gave me the medications. I got into bed while he was doing his report on his mobile phone. He also shut the curtains for me as the light in the room annoyed me for some reason. Ahman said I was not talking clearly but mumbling more; I think he said the same Sunday morning. I genuinely hope that this is not going to happen each morning. A third time, and I will have to press the alarm. I do not have the foggiest idea why this waking up and fading is happening. At least it didn’t last for long.

I bade him thanks and cheerio and settled in the bed, adjusting the settings to ensure I was not lying too flat. Comfort arrived. Yes, I did nod off for a short while. Waking up without any neck, shoulder, or leg jerkings. That in itself was nice! I was under the impression that I’d slept for a few hours because I was feeling so much better now. The wall clock told me I’d only slept for half an hour, but it did the trick.
I wasted no time in taking advantage. I went to take another kitchen window photo and used the speed mop to clean the disgustingly dirty kitchenette floor—I hope I’ve not left it sticky again. Then, I took another snap of the late morning view.

I spent ages trying to get the photos on the blog and got most of them on, but it took an aeon!

My beloved tree copse, looking thin still.
Close up of the battling for life leaves.
Even closer & higher, the crows
have not arrived yet?

Much to my amazement, Carer Joe arrived. It was already 13:25hrs! So, I assume that

Arithmaphobia Arnold had me fooled again. Maybe I’d had some non-epileptic seizures? I can’t remember having them.
Peptac issued, I was thinking of asking for a Codeine, but with Anne Gyna being minimal bother at that time, I didn’t want to give her an excuse to kick off with her mobile stabbing pains, which make breathing a little overheavy, painful & hard work.
The unsteadiness of my balance was lingering but slowly getting less frequent. The froggy-sounding voice remains, but none of the serious stuff.

I wondered if I’d gone into the kitchen with Kodak-Tim-2 to snap the incredible view while the floor was still wet. I went to check. Now I really was confused. It must have been many hours ago when I mopped it up; there is no chance it could still be wet. What a plonker! Still, I took another shot at the pathway I could no longer get into Woodthorpe Park. Spit!

However, now things were getting better, not the croaking voice. Anne Gyna had belatedly started greeting me with her roving pains and breathing botherations. However, my dizziness and balance had improved, and I found myself singing.

Great Balls of Fire! What’s going on here?
Where have I been? What was I doing?
It’s nearly 20:00hrs already!

The Carer will be here anytime now, over the next hour or so, and I’ve not had anything to eat or done the ablutions or medicalisations yet!
How can this be happening?

Skin on chips, a vegetable and no-meat meat pastie, pickled chestnuts & mushrooms, two wholemeal rolls to make chip butties out of, and salt & vinegar, pepper and Soya BBQ sauce. (A little too hot for me… anybody fancy a bottle?)

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Chow!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Inchy: Sunday, 6th April 2025

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
That’s the lot concerning photos and graphics. Sorry. I was allowed to save just the first of the many pictures and graphics made and taken. I had some I could use again in the WP Gallery. All that time and effort was spent, too. I had some cracking Kodak Tim 2 snaps as well. The computer problems just have me beaten!

I gave up, deciding then not to, and tried again. I cleaned the computer yet again, all of it and put it back on again. Now, the only way to get a photo or graphic on is one at a time, and you have to rename the old image and save the new one using the same name. This cost me hours and hours, so long, I gave it up as well. If I tried to carry on getting photos on, it’d be such a long job, I’d still be doing it on Tuesday! At last, I can put some on, at least one.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
This morning, I may have wassailed,
But, in a tumble, my head was whacked,
I felt weirded and wrongheaded,
My bonce was bruised and wounded,
All a part of my life and my world,
Accifauxpas, to me, are well-founded,
To get back up, I struggled & wriggled,
The catheter leaked, so I widdled…
I laughed; at the same time, I writhed!
Falling back down on the walker…
My neck was sort of whiplashed,
I swore and cursed, but I only whispered,
The Carer arrived; he was wheritted…
Got me up, in pain & urine-wetted
I cleaned & medicated, just as I wanted,
But my confidence by now had wilted,
Anne Gyna joined in, I wearied,
I had a private stocktake, worded…
Me and my brain witwantoned…
For a solution, I waited, & waited,
Peace of mind is what I wanted…
I prayed, hoped & wittered,
Eventually, I just whimpered…
So depressed; Is this life warranted?
My prayers were so wholehearted,
I felt even more withdrawned,
The realisation of failure wrangled,
I can’t recall when I last womanised!
The last time I was pleasantly wooed,
The loins moved, and I was wowed,
Then my leg lesion wheeped…
The fate Lucifer on me has wreaked…
Satins Curse blew & wuthered!
Another seizure, the brain whirled!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I’m handwashing again. I laundered two Kaghoules and some socks, hung them in the wet room, and turned on the heater.

ABLUTIONS
The teeth & gums bled. However, that shave was better, with only one tiny cut!
Hoovered the hallway.
I took some boxes with the sorted waste bags to the rubbish chute without bothering anyone.
Medications went okay, well all apart from the fingal lesion, but I soon stopped the flow.

Carer Ahram arrived. The diabetic socks were put on, the medications were taken, and the daily catheter pouch was changed. It’s all good!

MY LONGEST-EVER SEIZURE!
I think Ménière’s disease brought on this type of seizure. I stop doing things when I get this type, but I am reasonably aware of what’s happening. I just can’t get involved until things are clear. But I could be wrong. This has been known regularly daily. I should think maybe nine or ten times a day, at least, and possibly more.
Alright, it’s a gusstimate! Haha!

Carer Joe came while I was out of it, but I knew he had been here. He also did the teatime call.
Medications and little natter of which U could take part. I like it when that happens.

I investigated what was available for my evening or morning meal in the fridge and freezer. There was much to choose from.
The fridage has never been fuller. This is due to my expert skills and ability to carry out, repeatedly;
after . By way of doing food orders that I can’t even remember doing. Usually, I end up throwing food I can’t afford to away weekly. As I cleaned the microwave, I often started one job and went on to another, forgetting the original designs I had started with.

Then, I wander off to do something else. The annoying part is when I realise I’d left the hot water tap running, the window open, the fridge door open, even the oven left on – in any combination! I once did them all on the same day. The hot water tap twice!
Sure enough, I wandered off and decided to open a can of water chestnuts, slice them up, and add them to three jars: one of pickled mushrooms, one of sweet and sour sauce, and one of black bean sauce.
I mixed and shook the jars and put them back into the fridge. Then, I had to nip sharpishly to the . A affair.
I cleaned things up.

Then, I returned to the computer to continue my Ode Creating task, which is one of my favourites!

CONTINUED...
An hour or so later, I felt doubts come over me. Thinking I may have left the hot tap running, I checked the wet room and kitchen.
All was good with the taps… but I’d left the fridge door open! .
The fridge had spewed out water down the freezer below onto the floor. Cleaning it up, I could smell vinegar. Huh!
One of the jars I’d just made up had a crack! Fancy that, I suppose I must have caused it; I recall struggling to get the mushroom and chestnut jar into the fridge. I moved it to the top shelf.
I had to clean each shelf in the fridge, the inner of the door, the outer of the freezer door, and the floor!
. I cannot believe today’s rate of mistakes, Whoopsies, Accifauxpa, cock-ups and sheer bad luck!
I was well weary, depressed, self-condemned, and self-denigrated. Self-disparagement. Self-ridiculed. “I’m afflicted with a proclivity for self-criticism whereby every blemish is revealed in all its unredeemed ugliness.” Angry at myself too!
It’s not easy mopping and hoovering with the stick, mop, bucket, and hoover, especially in my current state: back angina, Glaucoma Gladys fading, and fogging my eyesight. Which is typical for this time of day. Usually starts to fade around 17:00hrs

STILL CONTINUING...
I got back to the computer. Again, the fear that I’d left something wrong in the kitchen made me investigate.
Nothing was left on or open.
However, I had still not cleaned the microwave. As I moved it to clean underneath, I found these tablets.
Wonder how long they’ve been under there.
The tablets got me looking at some from the medical draw to identify them. They were clean-looking. I didn’t get around to cleaning the microwave! I must have lost similar tablets before cause this photo above was found on file, showing the worktop under the microwave. Angst and depression increased!

I am so tired and frustrated, and at this moment, I am full of pathetic self-pity and something awful!
I did not want to make anything to eat until the last Carer call. I’ll have to go at the WP reader & comments until he/she arrives.

Carer Ahmed came. Socks off, painkillers given.
I won’t attach the night catheter bag because I will cook a meal. I just hope it lets me use it in the morning. Cheers!

I got the photo to go on late Monday morning.
MONDAY MORNING: What a start that was!
One for the annuls of medical history!
Worth reading. You might not believe it…
But it was how it went for the first two hours.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
TTFNski, Each!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Inchy: Friday 4th April 2025

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – <<<<<>>>>> – – – – – – –
Be aware that in indiscretion,
You may get a mental collision,
Which can cause self-derision,
Messing up your neurotransmission,
And, without your permission!
Ailments have no obluctation,
You feel that they get oblectation,
You visit your neurosurgeon…
Is life a pseudo-hallucination?
All of our lives are in regression,
You’ve lost your retrocognition,
PN, DVT, no prognostication,
Pharmageddon via your medication?
First Diarrhorea, & next constipation,
Confidence dies, feeling a pigwidgeon,
You think your brain’s an odditorium,
And life has got to be ordalian,
Do you feel different? Quotidian?
Is your social life in desolation?
Struggling with conceptualisation?
Are you livelier, antemeridian?
At noon, do you feel weather-beaten?
Do you get afternoon exhaustion?
Is tea-time your kipping season?
In bed, you can’t sleep for some reason?
Is mental fatigue the causation?
Or is it your body’s erosion?
Does the world seem dystopian?
Suffer from sanitary & sanity deterioration?
This is often just an old-age condition,
Do you think an interruption, a disruption?
Have you yet visited a psychometrician?
Does Earth need a reconceptualisation?
Do you believe in reincarnation?
Don’t expect a new life to be utopian!
Holidaying in the toilet or the Caribbean?
Has life been riddled with Damnification?
Was it spent in the lower echelon?
Do you suffer self-expostulation?
Do you know Earth’s nearing extinction?
This is not a joke or effutiation…
On this, I stake my reputation,
Do you feel an antiquarian?…
Well, don’t; it might cause acerbation!
It’s now time for an epiphenomenon,
Use your brain & nervous system…
Admit your guilt, write a eulogium,
Shout from Earth’s highest fastigium,
Humankind’s end is undoubtedly not an illusion,
We’ll all be free of intimidation…
Wars, murders, Oligarchs, every politician,
The greed, hatred and the odium,
Dead, we’ll all be egalitarian!
No way get a world-peace installation,
Well, this is my prediction…
It won’t bear too much contradiction…
Life’s events timewise, socialisation…
Birth, drugs, sex, physician, mortician,
Even if this gives you the impression…
That I’m suffering from depression!
It’s good to see the back of discrimination!
I believe this is mostly speculation…
Of course, it’s all theorisation,
Moulded to bring frivolity & jollification!
– – – – – – – <<<<<>>>>> – – – – – – –

05:20hrs: I rose fumblingly from the hospital bed, trapping the nocturnal catheter bag on the remote bed adjuster, and gave Little Inchie a hell of a tug. This started Inchies’s fungal lesion bleeding; it bled on the quilt, down my leg, and onto the carpet.
After I sorted out the mess, I went to the wet room to empty and wrap the catheter pouch that had been removed.
After months without a stubbed toe, I gave myself a second one in two days, on the same ingrowing toenail, as yesterday.
Then, I took a regulation photo of the morning view from the kitchenette window. Well, I got two.
This is one of a man and his dog walking into the tree copse over the road, the dog’s tail wagging furiously. A double dose of jealousy affected me. Haha! First, I wished I had a cat or dog for company; second, I missed my beloved, unable to do a daily walk through the copse. (Feeling a smidgeon sorry for myself now.)

Luckily, next, I had just nipped into the wet room to check I’d not left any taps running and found again. I’d run out of the cortisone cream. So I cleaned it and used some of the Germolene instead. Then, I returned to the kitchen and took another photograph of the broad view on offer.
Red sky in the morning,
Shepherd’s warning!

A bit of a marathon this morning. Bled a little more, I tipped over the bowl I was putting on the floor to stand in while shaving. Bending down to clear up the mess, and
flowed again! I finished shaving and got the PPs on.
I also touched up the Fungal Lesion, using the acne & eczema cream this time. I’d searched the medication drawers and found a partly filled tube of a different name. But it had a use-by date on it of… Hard to believe, I know, that it’s November 2019!

Carer Joe did the first call. I forgot to mention that Friday was the change-the-catheter bag day.

I booted the computer, an spent the nexy three hours farting about trying to get the photos to save to file. I did the first four, and there was no problem. Then it stopped saving. The usual cCleaner routine; I had to do it six times today! That didn’t help. So, I turned everything off and back on again. That proved an idiotic thing to do, well, not that actually, but forgetting to save the ode I was partway through writing was stupid!

At least it wasn’t so bad—up until now, anyway. Things took a dip after the young girl Carer called on her visit.
I was still trying to sort out CorelDRAW and the photos, and a series of kicked off that stayed on and off for a good three hours. This threw me out altogether. With my concentration gone, I managed to get some photos backed up later, but I had to delete the ones used and replace them with the new ones, so to put it. Now, the only copies left are on WordPress, and they can’t be copied or saved for use on the blog or email. I’m not sure if I was heartbroken, frustrated, or I was momentarily leaning towards suicidal.When the Iceland order arrived, I only took one photo of the whole fridge. I didn’t bother taking more because I knew the chances of using them lay within the corrupt power of my old, in-need-of-help, ailing, terminally ill computer.
I got some stuff I can’t remember ordering. And somehow I believed I’d ordered some tinned baked beans and tomatoes, none came. It will be better when Carer Joe starts helping with the food ordering. I can’t be relied on, know it, and am incapable of anything that involves numbers, dates, concentration or logic.

The Social Services lady rang to ask how the new Carers were doing. Last week, I wondered if there was any chance of help getting me out shopping rather than the mistake-ridden online routine. The Carer said his boss said no chance. But the Social Lady told me they are giving me an extra hour (Still got to pay for, of course) for domestic and/or shopping assistance. Going slowly senile is a horrible thing, cause you know it, don’t want it, and can do nothing about it. I suppose it’s a little bit like my sex life, nonexistent. Hehehe!

Carer Ahram made the last two calls. He was in a good mood, bless him. The communication was complex, but I like the lad. When she rang, I told the Social lady that he’s likeable and willing. Without Carer Joe, I might have cracked up last week. His help was invaluable to me.

I did notice that when someone came and I put in the repaired hearing aids, I could hear the wall clock ticking and other sounds I could not recognise. Haha!

By the time I finished the meal, it was past midnight. Three oven-baked bacon cobs. This is a terrible photo. I wish I had not bothered with taking it now! Getting this onto the blog took me over two hours in the morning! Saturday’s blog will be a smidge bland. I just can’t keep spending all this time getting the photos saved to file. As usual, the first two went on without a bother. The rest must have taken me hours and hours of repeated failed tries. This can’t go on. I openly beg someone to help me with the computer, please?
The trouble is that I can no longer understand written instructions and don’t know any computer jargon, and I get more confused.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
TTFN
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Inchy Today: Wednesday 2nd April 2025 Audio Clinic

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
>>>>><<<<<
Let’s see what’s on today’s agenda…
If allowed to by my aprosexia,
First, try to avoid anoxia,
Getting worked up into dysphoria,
Ignore my graphomania,
Prepare for the hereinafter,
Get through the pain of my dyschezia!
>>>>><<<<<
A speedo or an accelerometer,
I’d call it a speedometer,
But unsafe speeding; I’m an abnegator,
I’d sooner get there later,
Not in hospital on a ventilator,
Not that this is exactly ataraxia,
The food is not exactly ambrosia!
>>>>><<<<<
I was born with things homuncular,
And misshaped things testicular,
It didn’t bother me particular,
It did later, howsomdever,
Girls interested in my hylomania,
They drove me into habromania,
Now I use a haemacytometer!
>>>>><<<<<
Soon, henceforth-in future,
As I get more ancienter,
I meet more with the Grim Reaper,
Not like the expected harbinger,
He’s no shyster, or defrauder,
Just a long-dead, soul collector,
Trying to make your death pleasanter!
>>>>><<<<<
I take-not in anything jentacular,
Porridge, cornflakes, grits, Ergh!
I was told not to by a medical advisor,
He was found to be a drug-abuser,
He became the prison beekeeper…
I don’t understand either!
>>>>><<<<<
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
WEDNESDAY, 2nd APRIL 2025
I had even fewer jumping awakes last night.
Thought Storming Steve was the culprit for the majority of these almost nightmarish events. Although the tormenting, mocking, blame-apportioning flood of self-abuses and guilty past actions were vivid in my mind each time I was woken up, they faded swiftly, in time for me to regain my state of slumber. TSS started over with, I think, different bits of guilt-giving and blame over my past errors & bad choices.

After sorting the waste bags and getting the night catheter removed and classified as a ‘5’ on the NHS scale, I went through the same things I had yesterday when preparing for the Audio Clinic lift, which I’m sure will come today.
Ablutions and medicationalisings are done. I was on the computer when the Caregiver arrived. He issued the prescription medications. I had to ask him for Peptac, and Ahram used some Porpain Gel on the right catheter, which had given way on me while Ahram was here. He got the socks on for me and asked me if I needed the shoes on, which I did.
A good job that he remembered!

The computer allowed me to save the top two graphics and nothing else.

I checked the bag I was taking with myself; everything seemed to be there. Then, I visited the Porcelain Throne and checked the contents of the three-wheeled walker again. I will have to add my reading glasses.

I got readied and entered the ground floor foyer with the three-wheeled walker.
I met my friend Jenny’s other half there and chatted about old age. We found we had many similar annoying age-related problems. Haha!

A little late, but not a lot—merely a few minutes—the EasyLink minibus arrived with no trousers on to make access to the catheter bag easy. As I went through the door, the wind blasted up my privates something awful. Hehehe!
An accident had delayed the lad. He got me up the lift and settled in, but I only had my last tenner to pay him, and he had no change. So, he told me to pay for both journeys when I got picked up at 13:00 hrs. We had to go to West Bridgford and were taken to the same place. The traffic was delayed due to road works in West Bridgford.
I went inside the waiting room and waited.
But once I registered, I was summoned in a short while. I went to the treatment room with a pretty young Asian girl who could not easily understand my Nottingham accent. She got both hearing aids working again within ten minutes or so. She changed the tubing on them, and now it sounds like everyone is shouting at me. Har-Har!

I’d got an hour before the pick-up time. Luckily, I’d taken the crossword book and a pen with me.
I snuggled into a chair and fell asleep!
At one point, I mentioned my many nodding offs to a receptionist if she had seen anyone with an EasyLift uniform on. She hadn’t.
But I dare not sit down again. I saw the sunshine through the door windows and decided it would be safer and less chance of missing the lift if I went outside to wait for EasyLift. I’d only got twenty minutes or so to wait. The bus arrived after 40 minutes of wind blowing anywhere and everywhere it could, and the catheter was filling up later.

There was another accident in the City Centre, and buses were rerouted.
The driveress did a grand job of getting me back to the flats. I was a little worried because Carer Joe said earlier that he would call at 0130hrs when I should be back by then.
After parking, paying the bill and getting off the bus, Joe approached us. Very understanding, he half-expected us to be late with the news about the accidents and road works on the news.

He took the laundry down and put it in the washer. He then returned to the flat and checked an email I was dubious of.
Joe started sorting out the junk room one. He got a lot done in half an hour. He went down to collect the laundry from the dryer, pointing out that he’d have to bring it up part-wet because he’d done his time. I asked him to leave it and that I’d fetch it later. “Don’t Forget To!” he said. With the hearing aids now working, I heard him.

Amazingly, I remembered to. The sad part is that not one was allowed to go on file of all the photos I took in the laundry room. There is definitely Something Wrong Here!

I pressed on with the day’s blog.

Then, I hand-washed a Khagoule and hung it to drip dry from a coathanger in the wet room. But I made the mistake of forgetting I’d put the heater on to help it dry. I did, but that was hours later and a few quid less in my pocket! Humph! Thanks to Starmer stopping we pensioners’ fuel allowance and allowing power charges to go up by 40% since he cheated and lied his way into office!

Suddenly, it was almost time for Joe to make his teatime call. I was getting hungry now. But I’ll wait until the chap calls. I think I’ll have a microwave meal and some bread to fill me up. Or maybe choose the much-loved potato cakes and a vegetable pastie.

I doubt I can use the photo, but I’ll try again tonight with the potato cakes and vegetable pasty.

Back in the morning, I hope.

Back with the bad news of the potato cakes and vegetable pasty feast…
Depressed, sick & tired of bothering to do anything, but why, you ask (I hope), I’ll tell and show you…

I put the feast in the oven to cook for 25 minutes and returned to shut down the computer, which promptly seized up on me and granted me a blue screen of death! It took me a lot of time, over three hours, to toy with the unknown and risk getting it back running. I do not know what I was doing, but it worked after I rebooted. I had to sign into everything again and check on CorelDraw to find that most photos had magically disappeared again!
Anny Gyna gave me her first nasty attack of the day… and as I was searching for the mended hearing aids to put in…
I became aware of the burning and a little smoke entering the room.
The food had dried hard & mega-crispy.
When I squeezed one of the potato cakes, it turned into a little stack of black crumbs!
Very disappointed with myself. My self-lambasting and lousy language flowed. I wanted to spit!

I got a Sweet & Sour ready meal from the freezer and microwaved it.
I ate it with some slices of Milk Roll Bread and dunked it in the sauce. Which were the highlights of the meal.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Thanks everyone!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Inchy Today: Monday 31st March – Nurses Visit Cancelled

– – – GRIM REAPERS DELIGHT – – –– – – STARTED WELL! – – –
– – – Calendar Changed – – –
>>>>><<<<<
>>>>><<<<<
– – AXIOMS WARNING ODE – –
I selected my lifelong axioms,
Since which there’s been ablations,
The occasional abstentions…
Some short-lived additions,
After some cerebrations…
Many more reconfigurations,
Now not looking like my intentions,
More like pseudo-inventions,
This gave me mental-contusions,
To mingle in with my confusions,
Did I opt for these delusions?
A list of unwanted dissentions,
Life should come with enchiridions,
With specific instructions!
Beware of HMG’s cacodemons…
Politicians who talk in idioms,
Caution with HMG’s maelstroms,
Dating ovolactovegetarians,
Eating together? Prognostications!
Put oligarchs on your pogroms,
Learn from quinquagenarians,
Fear the con artists’ clarions,
Dementia attacks parts of the cerebrum.
Check for correct reflections,
Fear not Government defections,
They think they’re all phenoms,
Anticipate political desertions,
Believe not their tergiversations,
Recreancies, disloyalties, deceptions,
Their deceit, lies & fabrications,
Codology, slyness & defraudations
This is the same for all Nations!
To survive, you’ll need patience…
Sufferance, fortitude, & resolution,
Armageddon, there’s no solution!
>>>>><<<<<
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I spent the night more awake than sleeping, which is not different from the last few nights, following the massive 5 hours of sleep I got four nights ago.
The mini-seizures returned this afternoon. I wonder where they disappeared to so suddenly?
The feeling of fatigue is still with me. I have kept feeling I need to sit, rest, and sleep all the time recently. Sometimes, I can nod off quickly, but within a couple of minutes, I’m shooting awake again without any tangible. A bit like when nothing had changed from when was with me. No questioning the facts. That was winning the mood stakes again this Monday. What things will be like tomorrow worries me. I’ve got to get up early to do the ablutions, or maybe do them tonight when I should be catching up on my sleep. Might be best for me to leave the nocturnal pouch on until it is near the time for the lift, and make a list of things needed to take with me. I dread having to go all through the process of booking appointments at the Audio Clinic, and then getting the lift sorted for when I’ll have to go back to pick-up to the clinic to pick up the refurbished or new hearing aids weeks later.

Thank heavens that Carer Joe sorted them out for me this time. I’ve got on the list; Cash to pay for the lifts, Reading glasses, crossword book and pen, Bank Card, and remember to take the non-working hearing aids with me with the others when I leave the flat. Oh, ‘eck! I just remembered. I’ve got a food order coming in the morning, too. Well before the lift is due, but I might have to do the ablutions and medications very early in the morning or tonight.
I’m sure I’ve missed something on the list.

I know the chances must be zero, but I’d love to see the lady I spoke with last time I went to the Audio Clinic. I listened to her problems, the lady has as well. I could have cried for her. I think she enjoyed being able to talk to someone non-medical about the problems she is having. Of course, I knew how she felt. She said that she told the doctor about some of the things that were happening, and she was sure the doctor just didn’t believe her. I didn’t get her name or number, but I might be brave enough to ask her if she is there again in the waiting room. She told me it took the medics three years to diagnose it.
I just looked it up on Google; In the UK, an estimated 50 to 100,000 people are affected by Functional Neurological Disorder (FND) in the community, with about 8,000 new diagnoses per year. The annual incidence is estimated at 4-12 per 100,000 people.
My doctor is in denial about me having it and is putting it down to my .
I waffled a bit there, and now I’m even more behind with the flipping blog! Sorry, I have to rush!

This first photo saved alright, but I lost several others.

Two hours later.

Another half-hour.

After sunset shot. Nice!

More photos off into the ether, and four joined them when they disappeared from the file! Arrgh!
Including the beef in black bean meal photo.

I’m unsure when or why I took this one. The bladder waters. It is possible that it is an older photo that was missed or that it was used earlier.

Worried about Tuesday’s trip to the Audio Clinic.
There will not be much on Tuesday’s blog. This one is already terribly short on photos and detail.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
ODE 2: TIPS (Part 2.143)
Seek not what you fancy,
But what to you is needy,
Definitely owt urgently,
Try to live amenably, amiably,
Things happen accidentally…
Which can affect you mentally,
Living cheekily, cheerily, chirpily…
Sounds wonderful to me,
This ode is wrote circumlocutory,
I’ll let you know about my catatony,
When I read it up in my dictionary!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Hahaha! Cheers Each!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Inchy Today: Thur/Fri March 27-28th 2025

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Life has so many distractions,
And more than enough perceptions,
Of our needs and conceptions,
There’s a shortage of antediluvians,
Enforced bourgeoisification’s,
Wayward silly compunctions…
So many mental configurations,
Constant demoralisations…
Neurological dysfunctions,
I lose it if I get any distractions…
Short-term memories? Become delusions,
Taps left running when I do the ablutions,
Fridge and freezer doors left open frustrations!
Sleep & rest are not in my programme,
My parents were plebs, not patricians,
I’m envious of quinquagenarians,
Coping with mental maelstroms…
Like this ode, life has too many idioms,
Are there any cope-with-life’ enchiridions?
No avoiding the gloom and dissensions,
Rubbish issued by the epistolarians,
Lies from Starmer & his MP archvillains,
And I’m in a mess with my prescriptions!
No signs or hopes of any augmentations,
I struggle with life’s daily cacodaemons,
Will I end up in Hell’s cauldrons?
Many old men turn into curmudgeons,
My depressions are darker, not cerulean,
My ponderations are labyrinthian,
But I give the Carers my laudation!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Gawd Strewth!
What’s going on here? Now rest, no time, hassle, botherations… and unbelievably busy!
Contacted by email, telephone, or text today, and all needed time and concentration to decide what was what. I think I was in a spate of mini-seizures when each contact was made.
I got myself into a good het-up state, all worked up, and believe it or not, I lost the page with the details of each call from the notebook. Unreal!
I can’t recall many details, and this list I’ve dragged from my not-interested-brains memory box will likely be out of sync timewise.
Obviously, the domestic work of cleaning the wet room has still not been completed, after five days of hoping to find the time and struggling to catch up with my beloved blogging. I may have missed one or two off of the list.
Location: On the toilet – The landline rang.
I got to it too late. Darn-it!

Location: In the kitchen. The mobile rang.
I got to it in time, but I could not even recognise the voice of Caroline, the Doctor’s Surgery Nurse.
She rang back on the landline. She asked many questions about my health & concerns, bless her.
She will see me, possibly next week, but I’ve forgotten the date on the magically disappearing note sheet. She is going to put me through a Cognition Test regarding the dementia.

Location: On the Computer: The bank called; they would like me to call in the bank and speak with them. I explained the changes I was in at home, and they said to ring back when things have calmed down… Calm Down? For Me? Come on, “I’m obviously fated to confusion, tiredness and depression along with the seizures for however long I’ve got left”

Location Kitchenette: The Social lady called on the mobile. I can’t recall who it was or what was said, but it sounded like her voice. I asked if whoever it was could ring on the landline. But they did not call back. I was having a seizure at the time.

Location: In the wet-room, changing protection pants… I had a leak.
The door chime rang out. But when I got to the door, nobody was there. On the way back in, I knocked over the airer, which fell onto the second airer, and they both collapsed together. I then had to sort out 11 pairs of socks back into matching pairs and relay them on the airers. I didn’t mind at all. Liar!

Location: When the mobile burst into life, I was bent down at the freezer, trying to find the boil-in-the-bag of beef in gravy. British Gas couldn’t understand a word he or it said.

So many photos would not fit today. Well, wouldn’t save to file for me?

I need help again. I won’t be a happy chappie if things don’t get less harassing, gloomy, and mistake-ridden, or Anne Gyna and the Seizures don’t give me a break. I’ll have to stop doing this blog!

If it’s not CorelDraw, it’s Sandra’s Seizures, Glaucoma Gladys, etc. Something is always costing me precious time every day. I don’t think I can carry on much longer, and I’m not sure I want to.
It’s getting to me. Far less often does visit me nowadays.

Everything is a failure and hard work. I’m struggling with everything now. Nothing is getting solved, cured, or any easier or better. Sorry I had to say this!
I need so much help. I appreciate that it will not be coming. I’ll try to continue, even if it’s only an Ode now and then.
I have to accept how things are, I know. But is it worth it? Sorry again.

Morning.

Minutes later.

I sorted the clothes scattered all over the place to dry when they had been returned from the laundry. Taking this shot caused me a nasty near-tumble. Thankfully, Carer Ahmed helped me.

Bottom field and houses with some people who have family, can walk unaided, get their Glaucoma operated on, clean their wetrooms, possible have a computer or know how to get help with it when it plays up, maybe they don’t have a mechanical heart aorta, legs bandaged to counter the attentions of , both & giving way, in both knees, , , , , both their hearing aid broken at the same time. With , , , suffer from , , Taking Tumbles, a day, to keep the doctor away, , , , , , , , , , , use a , or take about two hours to get their done, or have .
Or any of my less frequent visitors, like , Four times a day (8) self- administered ENOXAPRIN injections,, , , ,
Is it a sticking valve, a present after the heart operation, or alternating between each visit with ?
I feel awkward & awful now! Tsk!

My Worst Depression Ever!
I’m embarrassed! But this is what I wrote while in a mega-depression. I hope the doctor reads it.

It’s brightening up a bit.
I wish I was!

Ablutions medications were sorted.

Taken from the computer chair through the balcony. Taking this, Anne Gyna kicked off.

Lovely tasting nosh.

Many figures to be seen in these clouds.

Sister Jane in her early years! c.1953?

Sister Jane in my flat. 2021

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
All The Best!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Inchy Today: Tuesday 18th March 2025:

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Head full of thoughts as I started this preamble,
My witty ideas turned into confused psychobabble,
I wanted this to be impartial and parochial,
Ignore the inane, the drivel, and the twaddle,
Determined to avoid things that are piffle!
>>>>>>
Doreen Dementia: she can be so Machiavellian,
Brain ridden with misinterpretation, misacceptation,
Misconception, fundamental or a machination?
Where did we come from initially? Were we Martian?
HMG? It’s like a cripple running in a marathon!
Reassuring Muzakk from Felix Mendelson.
>>>>>>
Waring countries refuse to negotiate,
Compassion being replaced with hate,
Innocent civilians run, absquatulate,
Earth’s future; It’s not easy to contemplate,
Proletariats can do nothing but wait…
Life or death, which is to be their fate?
Life’s that bad; I don’t give a toss, mate!
>>>>>>
Life: once a pleasure, but now, too astringent,
Can it be eased? With a cuddle and liniment?
When, where, & how did we become inconscient?
The same questions to my being incontinent,
Can humans ever become rejuvenescent?
Individuals in solitary confinement,
World leaders, clueless, impercipient
Faiths, most of them ignescent!
>>>>>>
Living costs ever-increasing,
Heat or eat pensioners, more dying,
Starmer gets free shows and dining,
The rich are good at political backhanding,
Suddenly, we have electric motoring…
It’s naughty to be diesel car owning,
Electricity prices ever-rising,
Starmer’s lies are unrelenting,
No ill will, but I’d like to read of him dying!
>>>END<<<
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I knocked myself up something awful. I had to do more handwashing and then the laundry. After which
I got to see ILC (Independent Living Coordinator) Oberstgrüppenfuhreress Warden and Primo Ballerina, Warden Deana, and ILC (Independent Living Coordinator) Generaloberstess, Ice skating champion, desk-top-dancer, florist, and Warden Julie to explain my difficulties in getting help that I’m paying for with laundry, financial checks, and domestic service. They will investigate for me. Bless ’em!

Quickly due to spending so long handwashing and laundering, And paid the price, pain & weariness.

Nocturnal waking shade.

Morning view

Handwashed.

Laundry duties.
Titivated the room while waiting.
The washer filter was in a bad state.
I cleaned it and found the mesh had
been split. I returned the washing,
Really annoyed Anne Gyna while I
was hanging the clothes.

Back down to report to the commandant’s office.

Henceforth, I was done for. Carer A and then Carer J visits. Seizures were rife in the morning.
By the afternoon, they eased off, but I kept falling asleep all the time? Of course, these may have been mini-seizures, but there is no way of knowing. I assumed I fell asleep often because I felt drained after running about with the laundry and hand washing.
So many couples of minute sessions spent in the land of nod. My tiredness increased, and I had to give up on the computer hours before I usually would have. However, I was almost ecstatic about who never really got me as profoundly or as far as he had been doing over the last week. A blessed relief, that was!

I settled to sleep, and sure enough, I was soon with Sweet Morpheus, Blissfully. The only real sleep I got from then on for about an hour. The Carer arrived and let himself in, and I do not know much about what happened during this visit. My medications given.

I was back in dreamland within seconds, but the ailments tormented me terribly. Thought-Storming—Steve was assisted (not that he needed any) by Anne Gyna and Neck-Twitching-Nigel.
I desperately needed sleep, but only the first hour in the c1968, tatty, scruffy, unkempt, uncomfortable, virus, microorganism, bug, bacterium, bacillus, germ, parasite producing, and disease-fermenting second-hand, eyesorely-horrendously grungy beige-coloured, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, moth-eaten, non-working, itch-encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, catheter tube yanking, recliner, oddly, granted me. The Carer made his last call, so there is no need to wake me up this time. Tsk!
He got the diabetic socks off of me. We chatted about the new plans for the laundry duties. He said they would be weekly, not when and if needed. I appreciate Carer’s input very much. Thons are coming together now. It can’t be an easy job taking a new old man on. Great job. They are to start doing the laundry from tomorrow. Thanks a lot, lads! A great feeling.

I think I spent more time awake than asleep after that.
Whenever Anne Gyna or Thought Storming Steve woke me inwardly, I almost cried to be allowed to go back to sleep. That did a lot of good!
Late Wednesday morning, I got as far as here with this blog. And still feeling drained of energy. But at least was absent. More to do; handwashing, ablutionings, feet need washing and medicating, and a dodgy shave is required; when I miss a day’s shaving, the risk of cuts increases…

I checked the SD card to see if any earlier photos were available. Memory Mangling Malcolm is back.

Early evening view.

Milk Rolls Bread sarnies are made with lashings of the delicious Flora no-butter butter, and some Marmite was spread on the bread.
Morrisons onion rings (I don’t recommend these; they are a bit… well, very tasteless).
And some pickled beetroot. And tucked into the meal!
Other than the disappointing onions, everything was wonderful, especially the expensive Lemon and lime dessert, which was on special offer. Slurp!

Around 20:30hrs, after a particularly violent waking up, I can recall going to check the taps and fridge doors, unaccountably convinced I must have left something running! All was safe! I returned to fetch Kodak Tim 2 and took a snap of the Amazing Night View!
A cloudless multicoloured sky!
This one was different!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Cheery-Bye
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –