Old, sick, weary, but harmless. I need to make others smile!
10 things I know to be absolutely certain
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
leave an orange streak from your eye, cheek,
and moustache. It doesn’t taste nice!
is not a good idea!
a party, think twice!
photograph is not a good idea.
catheter tells you to drink fluid…
wrist sign to let the Stroke Doctors know:
(Me today!)
Most paragraphs are from scribbled notes. The latter parts I can actually remember. The odd chronological guesswork included.
That is saying something I can tell yers! (Spit, spit, spit!)
According to the scribble on the notepad, I was woken up at 06:45hrs by the Carer calling. Eye drops were in, the overspill was wiped off, and medications were given. Per instructions, the eye drops were inserted five minutes later, and the overspill was wiped off. The regulation 3 minutes of holding the index finger in the nose side started as the Carer departed. I guessed at the timing.
I sorted out the waste bags and then went into the kitchen again to check on the food situation and if anything needed ordering today for next week. (Forgetting at that time, I’d already done an order from Asda) 
Made a mug of Glengettie tea to dunk the morning’s breakfast of four Maryland cookies into it.
Then got the computer on…
So, I visited the 
Because I avoided a right 
As I opened the wet room door, I felt the flow from the rear end coming of its own accord! It was also lucky that I only had the thin dressing gown on; I yanked it off, downed the pants in a rush, and plopped my elephantine body down on the seat. The flow began before I’d made contact with the plastic raised seat!
Splish, splash, slosh & all done! What a stink!
Doing so, I realised that the tea had gone cold, and I hadn’t had my breakfast of four cookies yet. Tsk!
Started to get the blog updating tackled…
This time it lasted for half an hour offline.
But returned…
I actually got some CorelDraw work started.
While waiting for the internet to return…
The 
The monetary-gain pecuniary, merchants, sham, bogus, false interest in offering a workable internet, money-mongers, without a care in the world about any of their internet customers; Continue at their usual rate of failure.
Mind you, had I been getting a $26 million a year salary with guaranteed bonuses and an open expense account – fair enough, I would not need to give a shit about myself either…
I may have got a smidgen carried away there?
My hatred for the man & company is tempered only by the fact that Fries is so damned good-looking! Hehehe!
I felt the right leg stinging in its usual waves, seemingly coming from within the leg.
The 
I pressed on with the updating, and actually got the blog finalised! Final checks and began to post it off...
During this
During a Carers call, the internet returned!
For three minutes, then…
The day had flashed by already, and little was done.
When, a few minutes later, the internet came back,
I posted the Saturday blog off! But…
About 15 minutes later, yet again…
So, I stretched my legs and went to get another bottle of soda water. Boy, the skies were magnificent!
I spotted a giant creature apparently coming into this snap from the right-hand side, with a head, nose, mouth, and fins. Can anyone else see it, or is it just me?
More Pareidolia’s Delights!
The left creature swimming in the clouds?
Fries and his money-number-fact-crunching
A smidgeon of jealousy included.
I went to check on the meal cooking…
I got another can of thick-cut vegetable soup in the saucepan and added a smidgeon of Borchst to it. Got half of the tear & share bread, and put it in the oven with the potato cubes, hoping both will be cooked simultaneously. Then I got sidetracked, as per usual. I 
The soup was okay when I’d recovered and ointmentated the now stinging lesion, but the tear & share bread was a little overcooked. The potatoes too, but I like them that way.
Taste Rating: 8.2/10.
It went down a treat, as I ate it while watching an episode of ‘Heartbeat’; as per usual, I nodded off and missed the last few minutes of the programme. I hate it when I do that… but it happens so often nowadays, Humph! I tended to getting the pots and pans washed up! At this point, I can inform you all that the steak knife has lost none of its sharpness.
Late Carer arrived, Richard. He was not feeling very well, methinks. He got the night pouch on and carried out the medicationing and two eye drops, as required. Said my farewells and thanked the lad. After that, I repeatedly sat down to watch the goggle box, waking up and taking a photo of the night.
Here they are:
to blame, really. Haha!
TTFNski, Each.
The need to use the 
The 
Ten minutes on the computer, and…
I tried for ages to get a hold of neighbour Josie, to give her some coffees and a pink G&T. I sensed she was in, but it took me six tries… which was something to do each time that $26 million salaried 
Domestic Denise called. Shocked at the state of my leg. I think she mentioned it to Carer Kara, who called in quickly to check on my leg wound. Creamed it for me. I’m worried about going in the taxi tomorrow to the Bank meeting, it is painful, and my wearing trousers are bound to hurt more. Poor thing, Hehe!
I made a brew and had two cookies… oh, three!
While a carer was here, ILC (Independent Living Coordinator) Generaloberstess, Ice skating champion, florist and Warden Julie came in. I’m not certain what took place but think it was about ordering a lift with 
Sarnies, tomatoes and beetroot. Nice!
From the computer desk through the balcony.
Carer Chris did the last two calls. Asked him not to put the night bag on, I’ll do it, cause going into the kitchen to make a meal with 
Then, washed the pots and…
I went to check the kitchen and wet room for anything left on or off that shouldn’t be.
Good Night!
Got the blog done up to here, then after a few hours got the Friday blog caught up with and posted –that was when
I’ll be brief, miss a lot off, cause I’ve got to get sat down for sleep early, cause I can sense now, it’s going to be a battle with Sweet Morpheus and the pains. Concentration was shot. Sorry.
Feeling Poor;y Period for many hours.
Carers called as per usual.
More leg dancing from 
had to rest again.
Had to take this shot above.
But when closing the window after shooting it, a leg dance started, and I banged my foot on the radiator and started the darned 
Right ankle.
Late burst of sunshine, flooding into the kitchen.
TTFN
My sweetheart Jillie called on me today. Everything went twinkly. I lost all control as we chatted away, dreaming of being twenty years younger without the catheter. I can dream!
This caused very little else to happen or sink in anyway. So a shortish blog for this Sunday. I shall try to make notes to refer to.
Goodness Gracious me, it’s Saturday, innit?
Here goes…
I woketh up and got the Catheter night bag off of 
But it was a great shade, to say so little had escaped, a 4 rating.
Could have been due to 
The first summoning to the 
Off to the wet room.
Water containers were all prepared for refilling the Water tank that has not refilled itself for two months, and I have to wait until July before anyone can get to me to mend it. Humph!
This time it was a little more resistant to come out, I half expected a torpedo… but when it did arrive; Splutter-splash all done in seconds.
Refilled them due to
The session went wellish. Only two tiny nicks while shaving.
And, no third time for the head bashing against the sink.
Had a struggle again getting the PPs on.
Then I noticed a slight discomfort under the arms.
But the legs and feet looked great!
For the next, I don’t know how long, is mostly 
She helped settle my worries about the
Scary, worrying about phone changes and what I have to do to get it done. And booking alit to the hospital for next week.
Also, if it’s going on the Virgin Internet system, it’s more scary. They can’t even get a signal to Nottingham without it going down almost daily now – what chance the telephone?
Mumble, moan, groan & hatred of Liberty-Global Virgin!
I disgorged some of the veg, a can of garden peas and some water, and stirred away at it, hoping for the best.
It looks terrible but tasted okay to me when I tried some.
Got the spuds in the oven.
These photos I must have taken from tea-timeish to 20:20hrs.
Not that I can really recall some of them…
I’ll try to catch up in the morning.
I do recall this one. And seeing a tadpole?
Back in the morning with the nosh photos.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Good Morning – Update!
Asked the Carer if she’d put some cream under that arms for me, on the mystery red patches.
I salvaged and doctored the borscht. Added some more peas,
and got it served up.
A good tasty repast. Worth rescuing; glad that I did now.
Potatoes, roast potatoes, beetroot, peas (plenty of them!), carrots, red peppers, onions, and parsnips.
Out of fresh veg now. Plenty of jars and cans in, though!
I got settled, well partially, into the second-hand, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, microorganism-microbe producing, gungy, moth-eaten, beige-coloured, non-working, bacillus encouraging, incommodious, 
Then noticed the change of colour from the sky coming in through the moth-eaten, thin, ripped curtains. I Got got the Kodak (Thanks to Tim in New Mexico donating it to me). And hobbled into the kitchenette to take some shots of the sunset…
Back to the unwelcoming £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly-beige-coloured, not-working, rickety recliner.
SWEET MORPHEUS – RESISTANT
THOUGHT STORMS ATTACK!
As for sleep… What’s that, I ask?
No rest for the brain tonight!
The layup there tossing & turning, untangling the long night tube of 
Cheerio, fy ffrind!
As I took off 
So 15-20 minutes passing and cleaning up was followed by ten minutes fetching and carrying water from the kitsch to the bathroom, three trips needed.
Got the waste bags sorted out, the computer was about to be put on, and the Carer arrived. Got me medicated, and as she left, it was back to the 
Well, fancy that, Liberty-Global Internet going down. It’s not done it since yesterday as well! Utter (overcharging) Rubbish! Still, the oligarch is good-looking. Jealous? Me? Yes!
I was surprised at how dark it still was when I took this snap of the view through the kitchenette window.
$26 million a year plus guaranteed bonus Mr Fries, Liberty-Global service had not yet returned.
Not that I was too bothered, I had to visit the
FINGERS CROSSED – I OPENED FIREFOX!
Yee Gawd, it seems to be working again?.
Sister Jane rang me. The line was breaking up badly, and I was struggling to catch most of what she said. Then the next Carer rang the bell.
I pressed on and got the Friday bl… no, Saturday blog finished, not much in it, but there you are. I can thank the oligarchical Liberty-Global’s Mr Fries for that.
Cor, Blimey! A fourth trip to the flipping
I wonder if last night’s vegetable soup with added seasonings might be the reason for my messy, sickly, repetitive
I didn’t take any photos of it cause I thought I’d be without a computer this morning.
Got the Health Checks sorted and a graph made in the new Enforced upon me CorelDraw. I’m still and will be until
Hello, the wee-wee has started to rapidly flow…
And yet all day yesterday, it was so slow!
And I’d drank Spring water, 3L or so…
Today my guzzling rate was far below?
I reckon I’ve already passed a kilo…
Coming more often suddenly…
Will I ever again get to see…
Me taking a manual wee-wee?
Hehehe!
I went to the kitchen to see if I could plan a salvage operation on what was left of last night’s nosh in the saucepan. After a bit of ponderisationing, I made my mind up.
I added a tin of cheapo tomatoes to the stick mess, tasted it cold, and added some liquid sea salt to it. Then popped the last of the vegan min-sausages in… then gave them a good stir. I can heat them up later, with the last of the terribly bland; I’ll never repurchase them from Asda, mortgage-needing priced sourdough rolls.
But I didn’t get very far with my blogging. Why? I’ll tell yers…
Yet another call from the innards to the
Ah, Extra-Time to be played. That’s put the kybosh on me getting some blogging done!
It’s no good, I sat here doing nothing physical, and the pains from the two ailments are still so bad. I risked taking another Codeine; I hope it helps with the gals, BPB 
I hobbled rapidlyish to the kitchenette to find I’d left the heat on under the saucepan. An awful lot of the sausages had split open. Not that it matters, I suppose.
Back at the end of the match and trying to concentrate on this blog. Not a cat in hell’s chance, of course.
I gave up on the blog and watched what little was left of the match. Then went to see if any decent shots were available of the sun going down. Too early yet.
Added the night pouch too
Washed the pots and took these shots of the amazing sky over the next half-hour or so.
Bootiful!
♥ Au revoir ♥
HAIRY-FAIRY
I rose earlier than of late. Got the
However, looking on the bright side, I did seem to be in better control of what I was doing – then, the 
Gordon Bennett, that took me some time to get done!
Got the waste bins sorted out and found a pot to use for emptying out the 
Then I got the Health Checks done. The first one shook me a bit. The readings were SYS 194 over DIA 64, and the pulse & temperature were up too! I left it a few minutes and tried again. This time, it was much better, but still not good. SYS 154 DIA 65. Pulse and temperature were still too high.
I deduced, using my superior investigative, but 
After that, the HAIRY-FAIRY why-am-I-doing-this hit me. It stayed for a few hours; nothing got finished that I started, and 
I gathered some of the accoutrement I used and put them on the £300, bought eight years ago from the second-hand shop, Harold Haemorrhoid testing, repugnantly beige-coloured, crumb-containing recliner. Then spent a few fruitless minutes trying to work out why I’d collected them onto the £300, second-hand, decrepit, Haemorrhoid Harold-testing, sleep-deterring, nauseatingly beige-coloured, not-
The left hand’s little digit was in its usual position, trying to tangle itself up with the next finger. Which is its usual position. See why I struggle to 
Then, for about five minutes, the fingers were trying to get away from each other?
I’ve never had that before.
The Iceland delivery arrived. Unfortunately, the driver chap left the bags in the doorway. So that meant by the time I’d got them into the kitchen 
The noodles were on offer.
The brown and white bread rolls ha gone up by 30p a packet though.
The Strawberry jelly pot is on offer!
Dreaming for once, a decent dream; I was in an underground cave, and I was popular with the crowd of people with me. One of them identifies himself as a Doctor of medicine. Who recommended that it would be wisest for me not to bother waking up. And gave me an email address for St Peter. This was also real to me! So much more happened, but all vague now, the email address for St Peter, made me laugh as I was scribbling notes about what I could recall later. Hahaha!
Hoping to rejoin the clan in the cave, I drifted off in hopes of finding the dream again. Of course I didn’t!
I was woken again by the late Carer. I know it was a she, and bless her didn’t put the light on. Kind touch that! No idea what was said or done. and was instantly back in the land of nod when she left; I didn’t even get up to lock the door. Idle monkey me! But, no more dreaming!
From waking up, until writing this rubbish, there were no ins & outs of mental stability, awareness, keenness, determination or wayward involvement where I found I had to spend time gathering myself together to continue with whatever I was doing.
This was because I was constantly ‘out of it’, all data long!
Anything and almost everything that was go-wrongable – went so!
Not that I was particularly aware of it at the time. Undoubtedly, Mind-Blanks limit any chance of a total recall. As far as of now; I can recall;
I know (I think) up to now, the Porcelain Throne visits numbered five. With only two evacuations managed. Constipation Conrad!
I know I had some wonderful help when the food order arrived in getting it put away. Thank you, Carer!
I took a tumble getting the bowl of water to refill the non-filling WC tank on the last failed-to-pass visit. No injuries.
Then when getting the meal prepped, after getting the potatoes from the crock-pot, cut them up and put them in the saucepan. I was washing the mint-covered pot and thought I heard someone in the other room, so I went to take a look… It was the NCH Homes control room alarm response, asking if all was okay; they had got a signal alarm from my water detector. Checked again that there was no water on the floor and told the lady. Then went back to have a Sherlock Holmesian investigation.
I FOUND NOTHING WET ON THE FLOOR?
Presuming that as I tipped the water out of the pot, some may have splashed offer the edge of the sink.
Then, tumble number two: A smidgen more serious, this one, clouted the back of my head as I went down onto the wet room wall. A bit of a job getting to the recliner to get back up.
A massive blank about what happened or didn’t, or shouldn’t have gone on for about three hours. I did mention these to the Mental Health Nurse, but she seemed unconcerned.
It’s so late now, and I~’ve only just started on this blog, so it’ll be a few photos and owt I can remember about each one.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Take care when cutting up potatoes
to go in your soup.
Going to get the nosh sorted now.
Back in the morning to catch up.
Well, I hope so!
But it tasted grand! Flavour 6.9/10.
The late call Carer called (Tongue twister there?) and put the night bag on for me. No Codeines, but I had two Paracetamol. Tempted to have an Ibuprofen due to pains from Anne Gyna, but I resisted it.
I had to get up for the sixth visit to the
Still, it was a bit of exercise for me.
When I eventually got the job done, I went in to check the taps and oven were not left on. All okay! 
I looked out at the night sky – I was gobsmacked!
Well, I liked it!
FELICITATIONS
Your actions include crapulence,
That you avoid any indigence,
You avoid hackers & their fraudulence,
Most of all, enjoy your flatulence!
Fare Thee Well!
Memories of Inchies Graphicalisationings
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
INCHIES OLD ODES & THOUGHTS
It took me six weeks to get the last appointment!
LIBERTY-GLOBAL
VIRGIN MEDIA INTERNET FAILURES
Balderdash,
TTFN
Another ran out-of-time-day. Sorry if it is out chronologically,
mistakes-wise or if other errors appear. Mostly been created from photos and what few memory notes I scribbled – the brain seems to have gone on strike! It’s the in thing nowadays!
Over the first hour of actioning, my magnificent muscular, fit handsome body from the terrible night’s sleep, I had to use the Throne no less than four times! Every one of them was messy and gooey, with cleaning ups needed.
After the first session, I decided to get the ablutioning done.
Part way through, I was trying to stop the third shaving cut from bleeding at the time; I had to use the Throne again.
Back to the front room, now attired in my day clothes but no socks, I’ll ask my mate 
After a while of computing, the catheter started itching. The catheter bag’s elastics had dropped down the leg.
He then told me, as I showed him the calendar… I’d put the Catheter removal on a wrong day, it was today, not tomorrow, so I changed it.
I asked him if he’d help me get the specks on, please.
He said it would be best to ask the nurse/s when she/they take off
the catheter to put them on for you. To avoid any hassle while removing it? So I said I would. I’ll get something right today… surely I must?
Gave him some treats in thanks, and Richard checked the taps and stove.
Off he sent on his rounds. Bade him all the best and thanked him.
An hour or so later, when I was busily making cock-ups, and mistakes and forgetting what it was I was going to write after correcting the grammar I’d already written… I think? The
But this time, unlike the eleven visits I’d made yesterday, 
I was getting fed up with getting nowhere with the crosswords for ages. Counter the cracks on the ceiling… even had to give up on that. 
Ah, a Highlight Event!
The beautiful DVT-Warfarin Haematology nurse arrived as I was getting off of the
Hristina asked me how the hospital visit went as she came in. Now that was lovely of her! ♥ And she listened when I told her, too! Wonderful!
Computing again. I decided this time, I would focus on a venom. I was tenacious in my determination to concentrate on what I was trying to do.
I think I went into a slight
Mistakes, ha! Sometimes I see them as thumbing my nose at the puritans. That phrase I stole from a fellow WordPress blogger & poet named Paul. Thanks, mate! I’ve been waiting for a suitable time to use it. (And remember it!
Visits from, 
Instead of acting like a wordsmith and getting on with the blogging, I had to go to the wet room to try and stop 
But it turned out lucky that I did go to the wet room.
The catheter pouch was on the point of bursting, I think. Again, I had a job to pull up the trouser leg, so dropped them instead and emptied the bag
I decided to get the potato out of the crock-pot. 
Later, not sure what happened between this and the last thing, a touch of 
I do recall taking these pictures, though. I’m pretty sure I took them in SCN Handheld Nightshot Mode.
We had a little natter, and Richard changed the catheter night bag.
We had a minute or two of pleasant nattering away, but the lad was ready for his bed, bless his cotton socks. I went with him, catheter bag in hand, to the door and locked it when Rich had left. They don’t like me doing this, but I can’t get the picture of the yobboes who came into the flat one night. If the key-safe would work for use, it would not be a problem.
Then I got on the computer again, re-determined to get it done.
Not sure how I managed to take this photo. It must have been as I was on the computer, and the TV was still on. Trigger-Finger Problems? Hehe!
Rotten night again. Forever waking up with a jolt!
.
