THIS LIFE – THIS WORLD – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I sometimes feel abandoned and lonely, Yet others have a life far worse than me,
I complain of not being able to wee…
I accept that death is a guarantee,
That fate’s made me live life impotently,
Life now goes conflictingly, with hostility,
Dangers linger for proletariats, politically,
Daily communication grows antisocially,
Sociality grows more incongruously,
No one lives life inculpably,
Each of us, for something, is guilty…
We all amble on, imperfectly,
Some show blind, overbearing superiority,
Doreen Dementia is an integral part of me,
Just like Peripheral Neuropathy,
Yet, I think things aren’t going too badly,
I’ve had two cancers, of which I’m now free!
The NHS was destroyed by the Oligarchy,
I cope with mental & physical disability.
But all this seems like tranquillity… For so many live in complete futility…
Wars, missiles, bombs, perishability, Through greed, hatred, importunity,
Civilians, soldiers, children, no immunity,,, Politicians rule greedily, xenophobically,
Jingoistically, showing zealotry bigotry,
Victims of crime or war show naivety,
To escape? There’s no opportunity,
My views are only observationally,
I ask each & every one pensively…
Will we ever end this violent lunacy?
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I woke at about 06:24,
Little Inchie was still sore.
Urine colour a number four,
WC is needed; that’s for sure…
On the Throne, liquid did pour…
A messier mess; upon the floor,
And my belly looked ampler!
Bother from Toothache Tiffany,
Cartilage pain in each knee,
Took a photo, & made the tea,
Spilt the milk, dearie me!
Minutes late back on the WC!
Hit my shoulder on the door frame – I gave it an apology!
Inadequate responses from my memory,
My perception was not at its keenest,
The computer was at its absurdest…
Whatever I tried, attempted or pressed,
The damned machine soon got me so depressed,
I didn’t know what to do for the best…
I repeatedly tried Norton and the Ccleaners,
Run them, close all down, restart… no go, oh, bejesus!
The analyser failed and worsened my ailments & derivatives,
Launching moments of non-stop depression,
Spent little time creating and more on correcting,
But mostly, I spent more time failing…
No point in photographing or graphicalising,
I spent ages preparing and hoping…
On creating this so far, pictureless blogging!
No confidence; I feel like a circumforanean…
I swear I’m cursed with and by a cacodemon!
Carer Christopher issued the morning medication,
I didn’t sulk, but it was a temptation,
Today’s confusion, indecision, & apprehension,
Indicated that insanity was a possible option!
Life’s a hotchpotch, thought, a motley collection,
Most of my ideas seem to have no connection…
I’m still up for socialising and adoption,
It’s from Doreen Dementia that I need protection!
Carers Chloe & Kara came calling,
Kara explained to Chloe my financialisationing,
So next week, Chloe can sort out the banking,
All done in ten minutes, amazing!
Of course, I’ll not be remembering!
I had another go at grapicalisationing,
Tried to save it for WordPressing,
But not all of the photographing,
Gawd’s truth, some went in!
Those above, I tried to save more, praying…
But CorelDraw started crashing!
I turned it all off, restarted it, again got it going,
But the bloody pictures were again not saving!
Two hours to again use Norton and Ccleaning!
I took two shots from the kitchen window,
The clouds were so beautiful and low, To the left and right, in auto,
Earlier ones I’d taken still would not go,
Into the file or WordPress, though!
I swore a bit in Fortissimo!
MEAL MADE Royal Anya potatoes & chicken,
Beetroot, tomatoes, not forgetting…
Yoghourt, a tasty curd, lemon!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – ‘Now look mush’, I uttered… I know when my bread’s buttered, No wonder I can see only the one gate, Because it was hell on earth, mate! Born to poverty, what a state! Miserable, I died broke & intestate! Bad eyesight, cancer pancreate. Catheter, Peripheral neuropathy,
Mental & physical inadequacy,
Got shot twice, the leg and chest, Born with nothing, I’ve got most of it left!
I grew floppy, womanlike breasts,
No help at my begging or behest!
Ended up losing loves like Audrey…
Grizelda, Marie, Christine & Suzie, Am I pissed off? Absobloodylutely!
Send me back again? There’ll be some argie-bargie! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I’d fallen asleep in the £300 second-hand shop-purchased, c1966, welt-causing, uncomfortable, not-working, itch-inspirational, crumb-containing recliner. The broken, ever-wakening sleep was no worse or better than struggling to get in and out of bed. I must have had ten bad nights on the trot now. Talking of trot, my first aim of the day was to get to the Porcelain Throne ASAP. The rumbling and grumbling started as I detached the nocturnal pouch from the day bag. Trotsky Terence won the battle, as he had for eleven days now, but Constipation Conrad was trying a counterattack, and there were some small globules and lumps in the basin. Once again, all the evacuated varieties are composed of almost black and light brown/karki. It was colourful, almost, but messy. I had a body scrub and medicated the areas in need. I didn’t shave, but I may brave it to have one later.
I’d not noticed what the time was when I woke, but after the wet room session, I went to the kitchen to check the taps, etc. and took a photo of the dark, foggy view that was on offer from the kitchen window. , I knocked the clock mentioned above off of the window ledge. Then I got out the last of the four clocks I bought last year, put a battery in, and set the time right. 04:55hrs.
I got the computer on and soon regretted doing so. Over the next six hours, I went through torment, botherations, mood swings, and frustrations and ended up in a deep depression. CorelDraw crashed three times! CCleaner failed to enable me to upload photos, so I tried it with the Norton cleaner and had the same results. Zilch success!
During these hours, Carer Shaquille called. Then Carer Kimberley had to do the financial help, which she couldn’t because no one had shown her how, and I didn’t know. I had the joy of Carer Kara doing it all for me for months. But learnt nothing, or couldn’t remember, how to get through to the bank on the website; none of the passwords or numbers were safe in Kara’s mind. She has been moved into the carer’s office. I had to close everything down five times! My failings and inabilities made me feel even worse.
As it got lighter, amidst the computer problems, I gave up on the computer and turned everything off. I made myself a brew of Glengettie tea and ate four large cookies in dunking mode. I took six photographs as I went to wash the mug. Amazingly, the computer let me save the first two. But the other four, which had caught some seagulls flying on them, were not getting saved for some reason. The old photos I was saving had disappeared! I tried renaming the old images first, but that didn’t work either. They still went off into the ether. Saving was difficult enough before this happened! Grrr! I can’t take much more of this.
Yet earlier, when updating yesterday’s blog, it sent everything. I know there were only 4 snaps and graphics, but it seems terribly hit-and-miss since then. More miss that hit!
I got a comment from cyber-mate Tim about me trying a Tablet to solve the computer issues. I felt like a fool, not knowing what one was. Another message with links to suitable types of Tablets on Amazon. I tried them and got this message.
This is a very long-winded bit. Skip it if you like. Again! In the afternoon, after Carer Kimberly had been. She’s going to do her best to get me some help. I was going back on the computer after her visit and heard something drop that obviously I’d knocked off of the end of the c1962 Hopwells sideboard, with the hanging off doors and unclosable drawers; it took me a while to discover that it was my mobile phone. I searched everywhere, looking for it, without finding it, so I assumed it was that it fell. I moved things, boxes, books, etc., searching for it. The only place I’d not looked was underneath the sideboard. I had to search for my wind-up torch, and more time was lost! I could not bend down too far, fearing that Dizzy Dennis would have on my knees. But the frustration of not knowing where it had got to, if it was the phone that made the clunking noise and not something else, meant I’d lost the mobile. I’m making hard work of this for you. Sorry! I bent down a smidge too low with the torch search and lost my balance. Banged down on the knees, which was probably the least damaging fall ever… but one of the most painful, worse than the head wound one. Arthur Itis in the knees, the Cartilage Sister Carol and Chloe really hurt… then I felt even more pain from poor Little Inchie, as the Catheter tubing yanked at him when I tried to move as I tried to get to the c1968, tatty, scruffy, unkempt, uncomfortable, virus, microorganism, bug, bacterium, bacillus, germ, parasite producing, and disease-fermenting second-hand, eyesorely-horrendously grungy beige-coloured, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, moth-eaten, non-working, itch-encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, recliner, to attempt to haul myself up.
I then realised I could have used my 1982-model newly found mobile to call for help. The thought of pressing the alarm wristlet button never came into my mind—what a clot!
Then it dawned on me that I didn’t know any numbers!
Aha! I spotted the new landline where Carer Kara had put Meridian Care, Warden Deana, and Sister Janes’ auto numbers for me. I pressed the preset bottom and got ILC (Independent Living Coordinator), Oberstgrüppenfuhreress Warden and Primo Ballerina, Warden Deana. Who kindly said she would get some help and come up. ♥
As I waited, I did my best to get my elephantine wobbly body back up on its plates. (Slang for plates-of-meat), Feet!)
But there was little chance that I could, and I couldn’t!
Minutes later, the rescuers arrived. I was in a praying position on my painful knees. They took an arm each from the back and hauled me up. They were here for about two minutes, did a grand job and rushed off. Both were busy ladies. Thank you! ♥
Carer Israel arrived for the teatime medications.
I was telling him of my Whoopsiefauxpas but stopped when I realised he was writing on his log.
Then back on blog catchup.
Then, on the WordPress Reader.
I was serving the meal and took a shot of the late-evening view from the kitchenette window.
Can you see the ghostlike child in the clouds? Or dog?
The computer let me save these last two photos to WordPress in the morning!
Doesn’t it look horrible?
The Parmentier potatoes were baked in the oven, along with a pot of Polish pork knuckle meat, Milk Roll bread, and tons of strong Branston sauce.
I agree that the meat looks sickeningly repugnant. But the taste, especially the pork jelly, was lovely!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – 05:45hrs: I woke up after a much better night’s sleep.
I took off and pictured the nocturnal catheter pouch. It was lighter-coloured for once, but not a lot of it.
I sat on the bed, and a deep thought overcame me. When it had finished, I made the bed… well, straightened it a bit. Then I went into the kitchen to ensure I’d not left the taps (faucets) running, the oven on, or the fridge doors open. I’d left a mess, but there was nothing untoward on the safety checks to report. I realised I’d forgotten to take the urine pouch with me, and I returned to the big room to collect it. Could I find it? Nope! I recall photoing it on the overbed table, but it was nowhere to be seen. I risked bending down to look under the bed, Nope! Under the Carers table. Nope! Thought I may have taken it with me and put it down somewhere in the kitchen, so I hobbled back to take another look. Nope!
Have I already been to the wet room to empty it? I poddled to the WC room to check. Nope! I felt a little nonplussed. It will undoubtedly turn up when I’m not looking for it. If this takes some time, the urine’s aroma or pong from the pouch should help my nose to locate it.
I’m off to the wet room on a dual mission.
Now, that was a different evacuation than most of them. Two-tone, distinctly brown and black, in what looked like cube-shaped mini-rugby balls (about eight) that plopped out simultaneously… followed by a mini-torrent of almost liquid jelly. The word I’m looking for is, Gooey! But no Whoopsiedangles today, just that I had to spend so long cleaning.
Did the teggies, and then I nervously tackled having a shave. Making absolutely sure I did not use the razors anywhere near the mystery wound on the back of my head. It went well. Two new shaving nicks, for they were hardly worth mentioning; a splash of the Brute soon stopped their flow. I managed a mini-, which was quickly followed by another. I suddenly became nervous as I thought I might have left the tap running in the kitchen. This thought seemed possible, as the hot water I used to shave was not as hot as usual. Stark naked, catheter bag hanging loose, I had to hasten to the kitchen to make sure… and I shoulder-charged the door frame in my rush, thus setting off . I got in the kitchen to find the hot water tap running, thankfully only slowly. As I almost lunged at the tap to turn it off, I against the corner of the trolley. I merely laughed these Accifauxpas off. No swearing or getting upset about things whatsoever. Things worsened when I returned to the wet room to shave. When I looked in the mirror, I saw that my nose, lower face, chin, throat, and under my left eye were an odd reddy-blue colour! The Carer took a snap of it for me as she arrived, at the same time as the food order came. A bit of a hectic start to the day. Haha!
Carer Sham got the medications. She put on my diabetic socks—put them on my legs, I mean. She then helped me get the food into the kitchen and put it away. Bless her! As Sham did the paperwork, I asked if she could see the marks on my face. The delivery driver gave me an odd look; I thought he must have seen the state on my face. Sham did, but it had almost left when I looked in the mirror. It almost needed a magnifying glass to still see it.
Sainsbury’s sent two loaves of Milk Roll bread, and both had a sell-by 22nd Oct date.
Carer Sam arrived. She could not see any blotches on my face at all, either. Another of the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morgana that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind, which is losing its marbles? Not that it matters; there were no pains, aches or itches with the facial globules. I suppose it may be a different form of the Excema or Acne?
The seizures had an hour or two with me. I think they varied from a few seconds to one that lasted about 15 minutes, as best I can estimate.
I was doing the second of the Ccleaner runs, and after this one, the computer let me get just one of the photos that had been refused earlier onto the blog. It was, I think, the third one I took this morning from the kitchen window. Not very good, but I like to show the dozens of my failed photos along with the odd one that comes out right. Hahaha!
Late afternoon, and I took these two snaps of the wonderful bubbly clouds.
In the first one, I can see a hand being held out to the left. It could be an animal’s head, an eel or a snake, maybe?
The second, taken to the left of the kitchen window, contained a feast of figures to be found.
Then the computer got sulky, and no more photos or graphics could be saved!
I was so tired and fed up, I turned off the computer and took two more evening sky shots. Hopefully, after more monotonous Ccleaning in the morning, these and the later ones can be saved, and I can add them then, hopefully with the snap of the terrible ready-made meal.
Carer Chris made the last two calls, but the lad seemed a little uptight. I’ll see and ask how he is at the morning call.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Wednesday Morning
I cleaned with Ccleaner and saved most of the snaps I could not yesterday. So, here they are belatedly.
The end of Citrus Walk, beyond the car park. This is where the old garages used to be; each one had been broken or attempted to be broken into, so they didn’t replace them. Sad for the druggies who can no longer access them for smoking, trading and sniffing, and of course, there’s nothing for the poor little mites to steal anymore.
Sunset
Undercooked carrots, teeth-breaking beef, hardly any gravy, overcooked garden peas, crumbly potatoes… well ¾ of a small potato. The lemon yoghourt was nice. Hehe!
After sunset shots… After sunset shot. After sunset shot.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I stirred from my slumber. My immediate thoughts and concern was to make sure the computer would allow me to save graphics & photographs. I thought a little prayer might help, so I offered one up). I unhitched the attached nocturnal catheter bag that hung from the day bag. Put it on the wobbly, weak, over-bed table so the carer can give me a colour rating when he/she arrives. I just had to see if the graphics could be saved to use in this blog, well, at that point, yesterday’s.
So I got the computer on without taking any photos and visited the Porcelain Throne. Thankfully, I made it in good time. This morning’s evacuation was without accidents, whoopsiedangleplops, accifauxpas, or embarrassments. But it was almost as messy as Sunday’s visit. It’s not that I was too smug about it; I was more concerned with getting the graphics on the blog. I cleaned up the wet room furniture, and I had the slightest wash possible. I didn’t shave after the Accifauxpa on Sunday; I think I was a smidge nervous and concentrated on the computer as an excuse for not shaving. Hope that makes sense.
Not a lot went too well today!
I put on the three photographs from last night, making them smaller and losing some quality, but all three were saved! At this point, I thought, while I was doing them, I would get some shots for today done and saved, and I got the fice graphics for the top of the page done—still resisting going into a smug mode, I may have learnt a lesson after yesterday’s farce.
Updating the Sunday blog revealed so many mistakes that it took me three hours to correct them, although I feel I must have missed some more. My eyesight is so variable it seems to react to different light levels. When the sun is out, it is far worse. Glaucoma Gladys, I assume. I wondered if they would bother doing this operation at all; it’s been a long time since the Cataracts were done. The Doctor said they couldn’t be done until they knew the Cataract operation was successful. I’m still waiting to hear from them. But never mind. I was interrupted when Carer Richard arrived. I calmed myself down and made a brew of Glengettie tea. I was well cheered up after telling Richard about the tumble and how I wasn’t sure if it was a razor cut or if I’d hit my head in the tumble. He said, smilingly, “We will have to send you into a home if you don’t stop having falls!” I laughed along with it, thinking he was joking. The memories of my stay in a ‘home’ after having the stroke came flooding back to me. It was a three-month nightmare! Then again, it’s no picnic living here nowadays. Imprisoned in the flat. Asking for help for me to get to the Doctor’s, dentist and opticians. Begging someone ot ring up and ask if they can do the injections at the flat, as they do for other house-bounders in the block. But they do not have the time to spend ringing the lifts and surgery and are put on hold with, as the last time, getting a; “You are nineteenth in the queue…” message. It’ll be too late for the flu and pneumonia injection soon. So, maybe a home might be a viable option? Then I remembered what happened in the one I was in and changed my mind.
I took two views from the kitchen, and after doctoring them, I tried getting them to save. No chance! I used the Ccleaner and went through the process as instructed, then turned everything back on, having to resign – on Norton, WP, Google and MS.
But would CorelDraw let me save anything? No!
So, I went through a clean-up via Norton. That failed, now the depression was gripping me!
I foolishly thought I’d see what I could delete. After the last cock-up, when I lost over 2000 photos, you think I would never try to do that again, wouldn’t you… & stupidly, I did!
I’ve lost, and don’t ask me how I did, I don’t know, all of today’s photographs I’ve taken! I used some from the WordPress gallery and got so angry with myself.
I reran the CC and got the last graphic to load.
Then, I took some more photos and tried them.
The camera told me the SD needed formatting, so I did. I’d forgotten all about it — it clears the card altogether!
Then, I was so low that I gave up.
Inner hatred and loathing, worrying about my situation and unsolvable problems as I sat here, spiritless.
Then I realised it was nearly time for the 17:30hrs carer to come. It was too late to make a meal, and the anguish had made me hungry for some reason. But I did have a stew of sorts. I sat here stewing over and over; I felt defeated.
Made another brew of Glengettie. And rare resolve came over me. “Sod it!” I’ll look at the WordPress comments, if there are any, and go of the WP reader.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – My Eyes Are Getting Worse – Endless Mistakes! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Written (started) at 16:15hrs: A terrible night’s sleep again. The computer, bank, medical needs, the camera, TV & remote, a tumble later this morning, Mind-Mangling-Malcolm, Memory-Mashing-May, Glaucoma Gladys, Catheter Cathy’s Pain-giving Contraption, Loss-Balance-Belinda, Back-Pain-Brenda, Mini-Seizures, Earache Erasmus, and Toothache Tiffany are just too much to cope with. That’s not counting the computer problems with Word, Excel, CorelDraw & Trotsky Terence. As I was typing this, the browser started doing I don’t know what, but it took a good half-an-hour before I could use it again, then I had to turn everything off and back on again. which I’d done twice earlier, already having to use Ccleaner twice to get some photos to go… I’m fed up!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I woke for the umpteenth time, and I saw it was 06:00hrs. Just as the innards warbled at me, and that automatic butt-clenching you do when you know if you don’t get to the WC on time, you’re going to mess yourself! I had no doubt this was the case. I fumbled out of the bed, stubbing my toe, grabbed Four-Pronged Willy, the walking stick, and limped hastily to the wet room. EMBARRASSMENT – FRUSTRATION -SHAME! What followed was painful, embarrassing and not a pretty sight! I don’t need to tell you what happened, I’m sure.
I spent minutes nonstop swearing as I sat on the Porcelain Throne, clearing out what little of the evacuated produce was left inside me. Most of it was already down my legs and on the floor! Things actually got worse later! My anger and shame stopped me from crying!
A mammoth cleaning-up job was started. Me first, then the terribly sulk-making splashes on the furniture and floor were tackled. Using a mop and bucket while using a walking stick is not easy. I did, I thought, have the sense to take my time sorting it out. All clean again, I put the used kitchen towels (two big rolls) into a bag and put them in the large sharps box for disposal in the medical box. Back to the wetroom, and decided to get the ablutions done.
I did my tegggies—well, the few I’ve got left—and as I overreached to get the shaving tackle, I slipped on some disinfectant I’d put on the floor. I grabbed the trolley to keep from going down, brushing my head against the tackle on the top. I actually thought about going into a Smug Mode. I was so proud of myself for not ending up on the floor. I carried on with the shaving. Until I saw the blood coming down my face, I was sure I’d not cut myself with the razors? Down the side of the face, earhole, mouth, chin, and chest. Oh, dearie me!
The blood was coming from the top of my head, and then I realised it must have happened during the tumble.
I got the brute, liberally soaked some kitchen towels with it, and folded them on my head. That’ll stop it, I thought.
It just took a couple of minutes to finish the shaving, and the blood was down on my face and neck again. Well, I thought, this is unusual. The Brut always stops the flow of the shaving cuts. But not this time. I got some plasters and wadding I’d soaked with the Brut. Then I stuck it tightly on where I thought the wound was with the plasters. Then I did medicationings. Little Inchies fungal lesion ointmentating pain was on a par with my getting the Protection Pants on. The head was not too painful at all. Finally, the wet room was cleaned and sorted!
Got a fresh dressing gown and went into the front room to see how or if the computer would act. My vision was blurred by the blood flowing down again. I realised, by the location of the blood on my hands and the removed dressing, that I’d missed some of the actual wound putting it on. I didn’t realise it was over such a large area. I’ve never had a wound so Bruted before, Hahaha! I could not feel any blood coming through this time. I thought that I’d cracked the problem. I put a woolly bobcap on to keep the pressure on the cut, graze or whatever it was.
Carer P arrived. And when I told P of my farcicalnesses with the ablutioning (not the pooing myself), he looked at it and said it felt dry, and we could take off the dressing now. He asked me first if I’d like him to Peel it off or to Whip it off. I asked for a Whip it off, please!
It bled again, but far less than earlier. Pleasant put another dressing on it for me. Bless him. He rang his controller to ask if the next caller could be made aware and check it for me when they arrived. Nice of him, that!
Then memory problems… me and the computer.
I won’t bore you again with all the details, but I used Norton and Ccleaner thrice to upload some graphics and photos to WordPress. It took me hours, and then I had to upload the files straight away before I ran out of memory again. Harrumph!
Carer Kimberly came next. She had not been informed about my Accifauxpa by anyone. Fancy that! She kindly checked it for me. It was still bleeding, but barely at all now.
Kimberly put a new dressing in. I think I can take it off tonight. She took a photo of the head before it started bleeding again and put a plaster on it. I’ve been looked after today. I didn’t mention the poo-poo. Whoopsie.
Then I got some more snaps that it wouldn’t let me earlier in the day.
This is the early one I took before my Accifauxpas during the rain. This was when I refilled the nibble box on the Nurse’s and Carers’ table.
Some new ones in there that they just might like. I hope the nurses will if they come. A slightly later shot of the local houses, most of which I noticed today, was leaving via Mansfield Road in their cars. Can’t blame them after four people were shot from a vehicle on Winchester Street. Which is about 300 yards from the houses and the flats I live in. The one on the left is a mystery one. No idea why I took it at all. This is a later shot of the houses I took with the old Kodak camera. I also used it to take the saucepan above left. You can tell by the different-sized pictures. Cat Shot of the Week!
Sasha is from New Mexico. Tim Price has a family of cats, and they are all beautiful and characterful. Tim says I can use some photos and hopes to put a cat/s of the week photo on this blog weekly. Sasha has always seemed like a thinking cat; her expression is that of a thinker. I love all of them from a distance. Especially the cheese queue photos.
Carer Alu came and looked at the head. It’s getting better already. I am going to make a meal of sorts for myself: baked crispy (I hope) potatoes, tomatoes with basil, yellow peppers, and sea salt, vegetarian sausages, and some Milk Roll bread to soak up the juices. Slurp!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I hope to be back in the morning. I took this just before the total darkness fell. I wonder if these are part of the Northern Light colours? I must search Google later. I got the meal as planned, made it, and served it. It was terrible-tasting.
I suspect I may have used the wrong seasonings in the tomatoes and sauce. I couldn’t taste any basil at all, but there was another tang to it that I couldn’t recognise and wasn’t too keen on. Tsk! Whatever it was, it ensured one of the messiest-ever dumps in the morning. And a multi-coloured evacuation, from black to beige in varying colours. With mighty super-sticky splashes to clean up, too! I washed the dishes and took another shot from the kitchen window, this time of a different but gorgeous view. Seconds later, the whole sky went dark.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I stirred after one more night of constantly jumping awake. I forced myself into imitation action. Pondering all the time if CorelDraw would open and work, I emptied the nocturnal catheter pouch.
I pottered around for a while, a smidge nervous about what CorelDraw would do to me. After another, even messier Trotsky Terence Porcelain Throne visit and a wash, I bravely turned on the computer, with a slightly nervous bilious feeling coming on. Here we go!
I booted her up, and after the usual blue screen of death came up, I applied the escape routine, and windows started. It looked okay; it took a while.
Then, the high risk of suicide loomed as I clicked on the CorelDraw launcher tab… It opened terribly slowly, which didn’t give me any confidence.
The document colour tags appeared, but they were in minimal mode; I didn’t want to upset anything at this stage until I tried to find out what the updates had changed, other than the minuscule colour swatches.
I tested the artistic text background fault; that was still there. Then I tested the outline and the change font default faults; they were still there. Maybe the upgrade had solved the saving problems. Nope, they are still here! I was disappointed and pleased at the same time! At least things didn’t look any worse than before the so-called upgrade. Before I updated yesterday’s blog, I decided that I’d get the graphic tops done for this blog.
This seemed to go alright. Then, I updated the Friday blog and got it posted. At this stage, Carer Christopher arrived. It was like talking to a robot. Hehehe! It would have been easier to talk to myself, which I do all the time anyway. Don’t we all? He issued the medications, and then he put the diabetic socks on my legs. Then he helped me into the slippers, mobile in hand, and he departed. Hehehe! He’s not a bad lad, is Chris?
ARGHH!I had to put on the graphics, but the usual size was not going on and not saving. It would be saved if I reduced the bitmap to a tiny size. But the resolution was crap when resized. As in the green Sherwood shootings graphic above. Humph!
Others will undoubtedly be useless even if the computer lets me save them. So, today, there are fewer photos than ever. Anger-making! It was very messy. I got the graphic tops and the pouch shots on, but all the others were being rejected. Out of desperation, I used the expensive Norton ‘Utilities Ultimate’. I kept getting warning notices, which only confused me. The operation took about a minute to perform. Now, I need to try making and saving a graphic again on CorelDraw. I’ll make a find-the-differences graphic to use tomorrow. No, no good, it’s not having it! Glungleackers!
Ah, well, I’ll try the cCleaner again; what a farce!
I’ve got to save and close everything to use this; I hope to be back with you by Monday or Tuesday… Humph!
Ran the cCleaner, had to sign into everything again, and tried again to save the two graphics.
Nope! So I closed everything and rebooted the computer.
Tried again to save the graphics to the WordPress gallery,
That got it! But can I afford to spend two hours each time I need to save a graphic or photo? No!
Carer Joanne arrived and gave me some painkillers to get me through. She could tell I was suffering with the Catheter Contraption. The odd Argh! and Ooh! may have given the game away, along with the irresistible urge to clutch my testicles to rearrange the layout into a less painful arrangement. Har-har!
I then uploaded the cloud photos that I had taken earlier to WordPress. I thought I’d never get them on!
Sun coming from the left. Sun glistening on the balcony. You wouldn’t believe it was black plastic of some sort. Higher the beautiful clouds. Lovely view.
But the sun was not very warm.
I’m waiting for the evening Carer; then I can get the lamb and vegetable pie cooking in the oven and make some instant mash with Leicester cheese and red onion in it, to which I’ll add a can of out-of-date garden peas.
That’s the plan.
As I was serving up the meal, the Carer arrived. Took the edge off of the meal, but I still enjoyed it. No photo was taken, and I could not have gotten it on if I had.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Just half a mile away from the flats. A lot has been happening around here lately. Two pensioners mugged at the bus stop in Sherwood. Three drug raids with sight from the kitchen window. The 13-year-old in Carrington with weapons. Carrington Co-op staff attacked by shoplifters. Care Home closed down after patients died overnight, and no one noticed until the morning wake-up call. Humph! No, sorry, that was in Nottinghamshire! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Yet another nodding off and waking up again every few minutes of the night.
Then, taking off the nocturnal catheter pouch, I felt pain from Little Inchy. I must remember some things; I wrote down some reminders and left them in the Carer’s folder. Some carers do all these jobs, but other non-regular ones mean I have to remember to ask them, and I forget too so often.: ① I must ask the Caregiver to replace the day catheter bag, and ② put the pouch sleeve back on. ③ I must get the full ablutions done early! (I’m sorry if I disturb any neighbours with the noise, but my lower regions will need medical attention to investigate why this morning’s terrible pains came on. Things are much easier to get at in the shower and easier to clean in the event of any bleeding.) ④ Remember to ask for the vitamin tablet. ⑤ Ask the Carer to take the laundry down for me. ⑥ And to put my diabetic socks back on for me. The last item on the memo was aimed at me only; ⑦ It is guaranteed that the computer will stop me from getting graphics and photos onto WordPress or any file (Sadly!). I must not get all het-up when this happens; I’ve been getting myself in a bit of a state with the frustration & depression it causes. Now, even if only protem, I have written down the actions needed to try and correct it, and it usually works, but it takes me over the day, hours!
Maybe I wanted to mention this as a cry for help. We’ll see if I can stay calmer today when it happens. Or I should say, each time it happens. Sad, innit?
On my way to the wet room, I went into the kitchen to check that the faucet doors and cooker had been left safely.
Just look at the foggy view I photographed from the kitchenette window! I noticed the kitchen clock—it was only 04:00 hrs! A smidge of guilt arose within me for having a shower so early in the day.
I got the bath towel from the airer, turned it off, ensured there was enough medical stuff to use, and started the proceedings. First, the Porcelain Throne. What a gooey, sticky mess. I think I used a full roll of toilet paper and tissues to clean myself up after the evacuation. The Dettol disinfectant was almost used up.
Then the teeth, and then I started shaving. I couldn’t understand why I had so many cuts and nicks. They were no bother whilst I was shaving. The back of the head, almost on the neck, suffered the most; there were too many to count, but none of them were any real bother. Another mystery is that being bald, I’ve never had to shave the neck for donkey years. Then, at the end of last year, the hairs started to grow there again. Last week, Carer Christopher said they were white. Haha!
Now, the pleasant bit, getting under the shower.
I had a leisurely but good session. I used the long brush to try and remove as much of the eczema as possible on the ankles, and I hosed the skin down the drain hole.
I sat in the shower chair to investigate the cause of Little Inchy’s pain. I was baffled! There were only a few specks of blood from the Fungal Lesion, far less than usual in the morning, yet while I was in the shower, no pain at all? I found out later that it came on mostly when I was seated throughout the day. I didn’t want to stop the showering; I enjoyed it so much. Little Inchy was not enjoying it. Because my taking off the bag cover pouch to have the shower meant, as I exited, the bag was swinging and pulling on Little Inchy. But I think I’d done well all the same in this session… Then, after drying myself off with the bath towel under the wall heater, I needed to get the medicationings done… Oh, dearie me! I did something I’ve never done ever since the cancer and lesion were treated. For years, I’ve left medicating the most painful, the lesion, until last – today, I started with that task. A few Oohs and the drop Arghs were expounded, with the odd Ouch thrown in. Perfectly normal!
Then, I went to get the Ketoconazole ointment. But they had sent a different one this time, Betamethasone cream. Carer Chloe told me earlier when it was delivered that the contents were exactly the same as the usual Clotrimazole ointment. I got the thin application sticks, ensured Little Inchy was 100% dry, and popped some on the end. I started to rub it in with the usual preparedness for pain. Why have I not been given this one before? I’m not saying it didn’t hurt, but it was far less painful than the regular one! I was pleasantly pleased!
Then, the hard-to-get-at job; well, not on the face, but the ankles. The cream. I put cream on a tissue or muslin strip and use the picker-upperer to get it on the ankles. No problem. The eczema on the arns was easy to reach. Then, the red rash was ointmentated. The ears were olive-oiled. Then, the not-cheap Blepha eye treatments were done. Thank heavens that the NHS has not stopped funding the cost of the Phorpain Gel for the knees, Arthur Itis, and Duloxetine Cartilages Carole & Chloe, and for Colin Cramps.
Finally, the ablutions were completed. It was a long, long session. After belatedly changing the date and day, I took this picture of the antiquated 1970s clock.
Jiminnee Cricket, the fog was even thicker now. Took this snap. I got the kettle on to brew tasty Thompson’s Punjana tea.
Carer Chris arrived while I was on the computer and coming out of a . The lad didn’t need asking; he got the diabetic socks on, the med pouch, and the Vit B12 tablets. I thought, by gum, he’s on form this morning. Then I remembered I’d left the note on his table. Hehehe!
I started blogging stuttering, and it only got stutterer as time passed. The cCleaner routine had to be activated and completed before I could get the third graphic on this post. It was not as successful as yesterday’s, and within an hour or so, the failure to save things started again!
I was about to begin it, and Carer Joanne arrived. She’d been to the hospital again and was not pleased with the lack of interest shown in her catheter problems and pain. I felt terrible for her. She would not have said anything unless I had asked how she was doing in that department. She’s the salt of the earth kind of lady, so I like her. I resisted telling her about the pain I was in with mine. I thought there was no need to make things damper. Bless her cotton socks.
She departed, and I again went through the albeit unguaranteed-to-work computer memory recovery program. I happened to note the time when I started this: 13:40 hrs. I got it done—I thought—at 15:35 hrs! But it lasted for only three photos to get on. I’m using some of those in the gallery, where they were suitable. I took a lot of photos as well.
I am now starting the third procedure but with little faith. At least, up to now, I’ve not sunk into silly thoughts with the depression. I’ll be back in a couple of hours, I imagine. And try to load the photos again. I can feel some emotion brewing, so I anticipate losing it. Back later.
Good Heavens, it worked! I hastily uploaded the photos to the gallery, but I fear I may have put them in the wrong order, so they may be from different times. Sorry.
The Iceland delivery arrived.
The driver kindly took the carrier bags to the kitchen for me. Thanks. At long last, there is food in the fridge. I felt guilty when Carer Chloe found all the food out of date the other day. Was it yesterday? Who knows, not me. Hehehe! The three bags of frozen food to the right in the photo on the left cost me just a pound! They were battered fishcakes, battered fish, and battered potatoes. Lovely! The fridge looked a little fuller now, and while putting things away, I decided to have lamburgers in wholemeal bread rolls, maybe with some tomatoes and potatoes, as well. Or Marmite rice cakes—I might like that. Slurp & Yummy!
I’ll get some time in on the WP Reader and then sort out the meal. I’m getting tired now, but I’ve kept calmer and more accepting of the situations.
I managed to get these snaps in here in the morning. Just before CorelDraw crashed again! Fed up? YES!
Kitchen window before the rain poured down.
I thought I’d remember from which of the different views I’d taken these from, but CorelDraw kept refusing to allow me to save the odd one and I go confused as to which was which.
I think this one on the left was taken higher in the sky.
Such beautiful clouds before the storm didn’t look like they were holding rain to drop on us. Hehe!
I’m sure this on on the right was take to my right, towards the North. Blue patches of sky coming through. You ca see part of the outer of the balcony in this shot. I got back onto the computer.
CORELDRAW SCARE! I saved the CorelDraw Graphics and pressed to turn off the programme. The screen darkened, and a message came up; Crucial CorelDraw Update – click to install.
So, I clicked “Turn off CorelDraw until the installation guide appears.” But the CorelDraw screen was shaded and unreachable!
The update started. Finished, and no Installation Guide.
I clicked the open CorelDraw 2024 button… Nothing happened.
So, I closed things down and pressed the restart computer option. The computer loaded. I clicked the CoralDraw button, and it started to load, but it crashed!
I tried again. It started to load, but it crashed!
In desperation, I turned off the computer. Gave it a few minutes before starting from scratch again.
I clicked the CoralDraw button, and it started to load. Then, a form to fill in and return appeared, telling me that CorelDraw had closed unexpectedly and asking me to fill it in and send an email to the… well, I assume there are some real people at CorelDraw or IT clones. Still, I’ve filled this block in dozens of times and never got a reply.
I don’t suppose I will this time either.
However, CorelDraw carried on loading this time before it crashed again.
After the trying day, I was in low spirits, so I just turned everything off and had the lamburgers.
We’ll see what happens with CorelDraw in the morning.
One feeling downtrodden, a failure, and with poor Little Inchies fungal lesion being caused pain via the Catheter Contraption stuck in him; My thoughts were not exactly of contentment, more resentment. I caught an accidental look in the wet room mirror as I washed, and Gawd, did I look pale or what! Tsk! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Another crap, waking up all the time all night. I shot awake so often that I believed it was late and forced myself out of bed, emptied the nocturnal catheter bag, and dragged myself miserably to the wet room. A quick clean-up: Cartilage tormentedly got the fresh PPs on and returned to the bed to tidy it up. All the time, I try not to think of the computer hassles and problems. It’s getting to me now! Then I had to go back to the wet room. Cor, what a messy job that was!
Here, depression & frustrations tested my already limited sanity.
I got the computer on, and of course, it was not letting me put photos or graphics on again. I joke not. Carer Chris arrived. I was too responsive. With my fingers crossed, I was using Norton and Ccleaner to make space on the computer. After they were done, I should have closed everything down and rebooted for the changes to take effect. I was trying to concentrate on what I’d done and what needed doing. Carer Chris took the laundry down for me on his way out, and I returned to the in-progress cock-up I was unknowingly in the middle of. I could not recall the things I’d done and not done. So, I had to close everything down, give it a minute, and then restart the whole kit & caboodle. Naturally, it would still not let me save any graphics or photographs to file or on WordPress!
I had to start the minimising and cleaning the memory all over again. It’s not as if I knew what I was doing; I winged it and prayed, knowing it would do the same thing again as I used more memory. Thunderclap?Turds!
To my amazement, it allowed me to get work on the blog!
As if I didn’t know this would happen, I tried to rush the job while the memory was available. I made so many errors I think I ended up using more memory! Then I noticed the time on the clock was 09:00hrs! It had taken me hours to get things going! Grumble-Grunts!
I got these taken earlier shots of the few from the kitchen.
Then, as I was about to put the balcony shot of the end car park on, showing a resident cleaning his car, the card reader stopped working on me! It took me about half an hour to get it to work. It was all a matter of blind faith, hope, and keeping my fingers crossed, jobbie.
All I did was push the connections in firmly. Nope! I took the SD card out and made sure the tab was in the read position.Nope! I disconnected the reader again and cleaned where I could get at it; nope! I shook it a bit. I was in a semi-panic-desperation mode then! I took a break to think things through and see if I could figure out if I had done something wrong. I went into the kitchen and took some more sky shots, then back to the computer and inserted the SD card once more into the reader. And it loaded straight away? Phew!
Then, I had time to appreciate the incredible cloud formations I snapped.
I received a letter from the bank. I didn’t open it; I was ashamedly too scared to. The photo refusing started again!
I keep thinking I can’t mentally get any lower than I am, any more depressed. But, this has proven to be untrue.
Carer Sham obliged with the midday call. I must have gotten up this morning around 05:00 hrs. Then I remembered taking a photo of the ancient clock using the other camera. I got the SD card, and it went through. The clock depicted 04:30 hrs when I pressed the day and date buttons. I realised I struggled with the computer’s memory for around five hours or more! Taking an hour of for the ablutionings and pant changes. Huh!
I keep hearing the gentleman in the flat above. He is an image of me, I think. Today, he is regularly dropping what sounds like his walking stick. I’m not bothered about this; after all, I keep doing it myself to the poor Mary in the flat below.
I’m depressed and am going to get a meal of some sort sorted. I got the oven, warming up and a tin of peas in the saucepan, then took some bread out of the freezer.
Now, I will at last get onto the WordPress reader. Some cracking poetry and photographs on today!
Sleep was broken again. I got fed up with waking up so often. Eventually, around 04:00hrs, I rose, and scrambled and fumbled my way out of the bed. Straightened the clothes, got the night bag off the catheter contraption, left it nearby for the Carer to check with the NHS colour Card later. Then, I grabbed the walking stick and went to the wet room for the Porcelain Throne and ablutioning session. I was flabbergasted! This visit was as near to normal as I’ve had for many months! Neither Trotsky Terence nor Constipation Conrad had the advantage! No bleeding, not too messy, and no pain whatsoever! !
This situation didn’t last long, of course. Cleaning myself up after the evacuation was completed, I got a little over-enthusiastic, and I externally caught some of . The blood flowed, making a fair old mess to clean up. However, once again, there was minimal pain! Even when I bent down, I had to get things tidied, only brought on , and he didn’t stay with me for long. No signs of or any bother from or even ! I think I wondered if I was still in bed dreaming all this. It was going great! Fair does, a few painless nicks shaving, that were soon stopped my the Brut aftershave. The teeth cleaning did not spur on ! Can all this be happening? A good stand-up naked body scrub with no problems! I dried off and got medicationing done, and I don’t recall any bother with any of them… Apart from the always painful, which is to be expected and has to be coped with as best I can. It’s like an old friend. Hehehe!
I made a brew of Glengettie tea, and got on the computer. It hurts to say or write that word!
I was taking a photo of the dark morning. I saw the time and realised it must have been 03:00 hrs when I got up; otherwise, I’d never have had time to get all that I’d done in an hour.
Then, it began to get busy in the flat. For many reasons, it was a different start to the day.
The computer was not letting me save artwork or photos, yet did for some. Am I doing something wrong again? I tried to remember what I did yesterday to solve the issue that was back again… And Carer Sham arrived. A nice gal. She got my socks on for me and the medications issued. We had a mini natter, and off she trotted.
Back to the computer problems.
I thought it was the DVT nurse, Hristina. The door chime chimed, but no one came in, so I investigated. It was a District Nurse. The moment I opened the door, she said she was embarrassed and had come to the wrong flat. We both laughed about it, and that is good medicine.
I went back to the computer, but I’d lost the plot altogether now. I was trying to work out what I’d done and not tried when the intercom rang forth. This time, it was my precious Hristina calling. She came in, and we chatted as she got the hypodermic thingies ready. A lovely lady. She soon took the blood samples and an extra one this time so they could check if the Vitamin B5 tablets were working. As we were gossiping before her leaving, the intercom rang again. It was the food delivery from Sainsbury’s store.
Hristina did no less than help me put the things away in the fridge and cupboards. Bless her ♥.
Carer Chloe came next. She was doing the domestics for me, bless her. ♥ She checked the fridge and a cupboard for the sell-by-dates on the products that I could not read them. Well, believe it or not, I took 3 carrier bags that the gal had sorted out, full of out-of-date foods! As I took them to the waste chute, she checked one cupboard. She filled two more carriers with food for the waste chute. She kindly took them to the chute for me as she left. Four more cupboards to sort on her next visit. ♥ She then mopped the kitchen for me. Earned her money, Chloe did! ♥
Then Carer Sam came ♥. We laughed about things. For once, no medications were needed. I kept changing between cheerful, depressed, and not bothered about things.
Then the kicked off out of the blue.
I think I was on the computer until 1730hrs when I came back to ersatz normality because I had no end of correcting to do.
Carer Chris’s arrival brought me back, I think.
We had a natter, and he issued the evening medication and had to rush off after I’d bored him with my tales of the day earlier, which I could recall easily… I hope.
Then I got the spuds in the oven for the evening meal. Back on the computer, adding the pasty to the potatoes after the spuds had been in for 3O minutes. Hope they’ve not burnt
I went to find out… No Problemo! Parmentier potatoes, vegetable pasty, Marmite cheese, yellow and red tomatoes, and Marmite rice cracker, with a splash of Branston Sauce and some liquid sea salt.
A lemon & lime yoghourt to follow!
