Why have I been chosen, a selected one of many, Who often bleeds when he spends a penny! I fall in love with Carers, like Caroline and Gillie? But none of them wants to adopt me… If they did, they would have to be silly, My waterworks and Porcelain Throne session: Agony!
Years ago, I never thought of acting bellicosely, But bad luck started early and kept at me grossly, I suffered bullying, parents fighting with barbarity, That, from long ago, I remember with clarity! Breakfast today? No idea; it could have been a chip butty? My failing memory, the short term one, is really burdensomely!
My thoughts can often work well, indeed cohesively, An interruption comes, and earlier plans become a mystery! I stutter at times, and some people talk to me derisively, My shaking right side arm, leg and hands decidedly… Make strangers shocked, and talk to me impolitely, They speak to me; if they do at all; as if I need psychiatry… I had a Dizzy Dennis moment and fell over, getting an injury… A bloke said to his missus: He’s drunk! Very dismissive!
I started waffling again then, lost the theme of this Ode,
I’m obviously getting more senile as I get old…
The reason? My cleaning lady arrived, came in very bold,
She was taking my laundry to wash, I was told…
Off she went with the Bold and freshener scent…
Back to the blogging, well. that was my intent…
Esther, return washing all done, we nattered, that was fun,
But my inspiration and concentration were done!
I hoped to return to it, but I fell asleep, woke by Carer Julie Pathan.
Beyond any energy using now, physical or mental at all… Went to the Porcelain Throne and had a fall… Banged my Booster pained arm against the wall… It’s getting dark, soon be nightfall… I’ll get some nosh sorted but will return to things philosophical, If Gillie doesn’t let me take her for a week in Portugal… It’s no fun being moral and mortal… Life is likely seen through some alien portal… The very thought of that made me chortle!
Another Feast!
I think it is called Comfort Food?
Polish cooked pork (9.5/10): Nigerian podded peas (3/10),
Royale Anya potatoes (5/10), Sainsbury’s Tomatoes (4/10),
Microwave poached eggs (8.5/10), I hope to try them again,
With Thai sweet chilli sauce (7.8/10), A banana (8/10),
A large layered yoghourt, real raspberry, extra cream (6/10),
Then, the Thought Storms Began – I’ll go potty, I’m certain!
Self Assessment
The truth is, I’m getting in a mental pickle,
My chances of rest and peace, ain’t worth a nickel!
As for today’s opticians’ findings optical…
Cataracts, glaucoma, pupils needing to be widened…
Before the examination can be completed; but, no stickle!
I’m to have a procedure, I wasn’t too enthusiastical!
Needles in the eye job, she said, all matter of factly,
Then drops for a few days: can my costs be deductible?
And start the whole procedure over again… there’ll be trouble!
I’m sure things might get better… Gawd knows when!
Evening Care Arrives…
The Evening Carer came about seven o’clock,
Sweet Angel, but in a rush, but she was still therapeutic,
I gave her a big box of Quality Street chocs,
To share amongst the Carers, she went, I took off my socks…
And fought with the Thought Storm a little longer, then…
Sleep arrived: but I soon woke up… needing a wee-wee again!
The extra handicap of the reaction to the Booster Jab; made my doing anything, taking an inordinately much longer time than usual. Thus, it was nearly midnight last night by the time I’d got the blog finished and posted. Although aching and in pain, and really needed to get some sleep. The mind and body wanted to close down. But, Inchcock, an epicurean, foodie, glutton, gourmet, chow-hounder, and well-known foodaholic, put an end to any thoughts of joining in with any Sweet Morpheusness for a while.
I foolishly started to make a belated meal, and a mini-feast it was too! At last, come around about 01:00hrs, I got it served up.
Raw fresh peas from Nigeria. (Shame the ones from Peru are not available, they were sweeter than the Nigerian ones by a mile, but beggars can’t be choosers when things are out of season) Oven-baked potato slices, tomatoes, crispy smoked bacon was the main course. The bacon was eaten in slices of milk roll bread and was dunked in some absolutely great tasting Thai sweet chilli sauce. I was satisfied with the substituted bottle; as for where I got it from, well, I’ll get some more from Amazon.
Which reminds me, I’ve got some diabetic bamboo socks delivered today. Well, that’s what I say! Bearing in mind my cock-up stroke Whoopsiedangleplop with Sainsbury’s and Morrison’s order dates, I get them arriving yesterday; when my Google calendar clear says that the Sainsbury one is coming Monday and the Morrison one on Tuesday… I’m sinking into the morass mess of mental mayhem of memory mishaps. It has to be admitted. Vascular Dementia Doreen is to blame, methinks.
Of course, you have to bear in mind that it is me we are talking about! No chance! Anyway, I feasted well, did some belching, took an extra Codeine, and flaked out on the recliner searching for sleep…
MONDAY MORNING
Sleep as I recall it, when I got up for my fifth wee-wee, at 03:00hrs, seemed far away, a luxury denied me again! Thought Storms Stewart kicked of the instant the eyelids drooped and threatened to nod off. It’s incredible how many things you can fear, hate, smile and laugh about, returning memories to torment you on your failed options and actions. Self-disgust, the injustices of those in charge, shames… not to mention the ailments having a go at you. I had no idea what time I got off into the land of nod, but I kept waking up thinking, I’d better get up, the carer will be here soon – then nodded off again.
The Doctor’s response to this problem when I spoke with her (a few years ago now, of course) Was, “Yes, many older people get this… any other problems?” I decided not to bother her further.
As I woke for the umpteenth time and was going through the routine of planning to get up, then falling asleep again, the door chime rang out its loud, ♫ Oh, Susanna ♫ tune. Gawd, it was late! Carer Richard came in to find a foggy-brained Inchcock staggering up out of the recliner. Hahaha! Fair enough, he does usually find me fuddle-brained anyway.
Richard asked the required medical question, as they do on a Monday. And did a wristlet alarm check to ensure the signal was getting through to the Nottingham City Homes people.
It was his last call, and I enjoyed a little nattering and moaning session with the lad. I thanked and treated him, and off he went.
Then as I put the kettle on belatedly, I took some shots of the morning’s misty views from the kitchenette window.
The photographs didn’t help my spirits much, Didn’t cheer me up; I still felt I was a bit of a schmuck, An old man, (Gillie) again being lovestruck… If she was to adopt me, I’d be thunderstruck!
I wonder when the socks will arrive, they’re made of bamboo, Had to get some; it’s too cold not to wear them now, Boo-Hoo! I’ll check the Amazon tracker; that’s what I’ll do… Nine stops away, couldn’t ask for better, could you! The socks seem to be of reasonable value… One can’t say that very often of Amazon, can you?
In an effort to cheer missen up, I perused the box of gifts that HRH Lisa and Billum had sent to me from Fort Thomas in the USA. I know, I wasn’t going to open it until Christmas Day, but anyway…
The box within the box was so pretty, it had to have been decided on by a lady. I put it on the server trolley and investigated away! But I’ll not put them on display until Christmas day.
Just look at all the work Lisa must have put into making these for me!
She even named them for me in the card she sent with them! ♥
Crazy Furry Goat (Goliath), Long Eared Rabbit (Roger), Wacky Cat Kawaii. Pink Fuzzy Monster (Malcolm), Rudikth, the Red-Nosed Reindeer! The names in brackets are those I’m considering giving them when they get on display and become along with Koala and Teddy Bear, my morning chinwagging partners! ♥
I’ll have to make sure I give them names that I might remember. Otherwise, they will get confused about who I am talking to if I use the wrong word. Hehehe! They put in some ‘Moon Pie’ cakes as well. They are not available in the UK. And they look rather tasty! I shall not indulge until Christmas day!
When I showed them off to the carer who came to check on my medicines stock, she thought they were just like a Wagon Wheel. When I put a picture of an unopened lemon Wagon Wheels on my blog a while back, Billum said how they looked like Moon Pies. Thus they sent them to me to try. Bless their cotton socks! ♥
♥ Thanks again, HRH Lisa and Billum! ♥
The door chime rang forth again;
♫ I come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee, I’m going to Louisiana, my true love for to see It rained all night the day I left; the weather it was dry The sun so hot I froze to death; Susanna, don’t you cry. Oh, Susanna, don’t you cry for me cos’ I come from Alabama With my banjo on my knee… ♫
The daycarer from the Meridian office was the day carer; she’s come to check that my medical stocks were sufficient for over the holidays. She thought the Moon Pies were like Wagon Wheels… Oh, I’ve already said this, I guess, sorry!
She thinks I’ll need some more Codeines getting in to last me. Which is not surprising, with all the extras I’ve been taking; What with the 15hr agony of the hospital trolley marathon, the bruised bum, then the absolute nightmare of the reaction to the booster-jab, I think I needed, they got me through anyway. I expect someone somewhere to believe I’ve become addicted, however, and another lecture from the Doctor, of course, over the phone.
Another Escapee Pea!
Making a fresh brew, I trod on something rock-hard on the kitchen floor, almost like an electric shock, it made, jump a smidge. It seems lately that these escapee garden peas are coming out of hiding regularly? Haha!
I checked again in the Mazon bamboo sock front situation. And guess what? As you see, this was the message I got from them. Delivered today; your package was left near the front door or porch. Well, it hadn’t been! I got myself into a mini-flap when I wondered if it had been delivered to Winchester Court in error?
So, I rang ILC (Independent Living Coordinator), Warden, Desktop Dancer, and who is also not interested in adopting me! Tsk! It’s just not fair! She said it might be downstairs in the lobby; I mentioned Winchester Court, she said the flat is empty. I had a vision of them leaving the stuff outside the door of an empty apartment – if so, it would not last long! Deana said she’d look for me and let me know. I thanked her and returned to the computer in another failed effort.
Hehe! Ferreting around for something to nibble, I came across the packet of new mini-cheddars I’d ordered, but I resisted the temptation. I’ll have them later when I’m more depressed or even hungrier.
Medicalisation Checks
The right arm looked betterish, and the pain has subsided a lot now.
Little Inchies fungal lesion had not bled all day. I liked that a lot! But I am in no way being fooled; it’ll come again!
The legs (the Knees) had improved beyond recognition this Monday. I had a job to recognise them as my own. Although, Arthur Itis was getting a little frisky with it when I was writing this.
Warden Deana Saves The Day
Deana rang the door chime and entered – with the parcels of socks in her hand, bless her! They had been left down in the front lobby by the Amazon delivery urchin. Along with several other packages for different people! I thanked her kindly.
ABLUTIONALISATIONINGS
Cleaning the teeth broke another tooth, The few teggies left are getting corrosive, But I wash brushing a little aggressive, Shaving, not a single cut or nick, Showered, I almost felt hygienic… On the radio, the London philharmonic, Stubbed my toe; that was chronic… But, I don’t want to nitpick, Even though I tripped over the walking stick!
Food Glorious Food
The dessert was a bit special. On the label, it read; Raspberry Gourmet Greek-style thick & creamy live yoghurt with fruit layer. Confusing innit? Tasted okay. Cooked seasoned sliced Polish pork knuckle with seasonings sarnies, Nigerian podded peas, and crispy chips (oven fries). Flavour rating; 8/10.
Late Phone Call
A call from the opticians came in. Which left me more confused than ever. According to the lady calling me, I did not have an appointment with them. But when I called in there last week on my way to the dentist, I called in to book an appointment, got home and put a date in the calendar, January 4th 2022. She said they had not made an appointment for me?
I’m getting mixed up here; back to the phone call: She asked if I could come in the morning (today at 09:00hrs for an eye test? Presumably, they had had a cancellation?).
Being the keen attentive, alert, sharp sort of person that I’m not, I made another Whoopsiedangleplop; I told her her ‘Yes’ I’d come. Then realised I had the Amazon order coming? Too late to get help ringing her back; the staff had all gone!
Evening Carer Valerie arrived, and I soon fell asleep after she’d gone.
Fed up! Woke up wide awake at midnight and got this blog finished and posted, a little late, but betterer late than never!
I got back to the flat from the Covis-19 booster. With the delicious, kind, beautiful, highly-most desirable, tantalising, titillating, sex-pot, Gillian. Who still refuses to adopt me as a granddad. Tsk! Gillie put the things away in the kitchen, and I insisted she take some bottles of plonk and cans of spirits, in thanks, for her help.
Just look at thou that the gal had made for me…
She’s cooked six sausages for me. I can warm them in the microwave. I made some BBQ sliced potatoes and garden peas and added BBQ sauce. Gorgeous! Bless her cotton socks!
Getting off to sleep was a Challenge.
The Thought Storms raged a fair bit quixotically, .Alto-Ego Inchie pestered me telepathically, Terrible pains from Haemorrhoids Harold, posteriorly, Wing, coughing all things somnambulistically… Which came on after a marvellous Gillie day, sadly! Of course, my angel had now gone away… Still, no nodding off, and bled when I had a cough…
But it got worse when I moved to get comfortable, When Little Inchie burst into a blood bubble! Now, stopping that caused me pain and trouble… The agony from medicating things was indescribable! Later Sweet Morpheus arrived, highly satisfiable!
Sunday
I woke, with the Booster Jab Arm in agony, too!
Saccades Sandra and me dizzy, it’s nothing new…
I planned this weekend, what am I to do?
Tomorrow Sainsbury’s food delivery, only a few…
Co-op order Monday, I’ve ordered some beef stew…
I woke, with the Booster Jab Arm in agony, too!
Saccades Sandra and me dizzy, it’s nothing new…
I planned this weekend, what am I to do?
Tomorrow Sainsbury’s food delivery, only a few…
Co-op order Monday, I’ve ordered some beef stew…
I took some photos of the foggy morning
Just misty, there was no storming…
Hello, is it thickening?
Clearer, on Chestnut Way, down below,
I’ll try a wide shot or two; I’ll give it go…
Didn’t come out very good, though!.
No deliveries today…
Ah, onto Facebooking to play, okay?
Mustn’t forget Josie’s nosh, with the chardonnay…
I think it beats any takeaway…
Then my plans had to be cast away…
Sainsbury delivery came today. What can I say! No deliveries today?
No deliveries today?
I ordered five little bananas, but I got ten…
I’m not sure if they’ll all get eaten,
Asked for 100ml, got a 400ml… It suits this glutton!
Ordered two 60 spuds, got two 500’s, dumbstricken!
Back to Facebooking, but I extemporise…
Facebook went down; I tell no lies…
My plans did once again evaporise…
My spirits sank; they did wantonise!
Then…
I realised the Amazon Co-op food had arrived!
I think I ought to be sectionalised…
I’m losing it seriously; I don’t want to sensationalise,
Maybe going in an old folks home might yet be wise?
Cause my brain is refusing to synchronise!.
Got the Amazon bags into the kitchenette, Did you notice the Metal Mickey stick? I know it was there; it’s picturistic… This is really quite worrying, and dramatic, I think the word is mayhap pedagogic? But I haven’t seen Mickey since? It defies logic! I fear I have become recognised as pilgarlic? Then as had to hobble for a wee-wee, nucleonic!…
I walked into the wet room door frame, Only myself to flipping blame… Oh, boy, the agony and pain… I hit the booster shot arm again! My emotions and hopes became disharmonic… The uncomfortable pee made me feel apathetic, When I got back into the kitchen, I couldn’t find the stick!
I got the Co-op crap put away, then…
My stupidity; it must remain unspoken…
More nosh in the fridge, crammed in and swollen,
The freezer’s the same; I feel crestfallen…
Getting dates and figures wrong, stupidity is my song…
In life, I just can’t seem to get along?
And now the pain from Booster arm,
It’d possibly be as bad as napalm. Not really,
I’m shaking more than ever, I must keep calm,
But in constant pain from the flipping arm…
It’s swollen too, and I’ve had moments of dwalm!
Still, I mustn’t set off the wristlet panic alarm!
Gotten Himmel, Josie’s Meal to Do!
Gotten Himmel, Josie’s meal to do…
Fingers crossed, I’m making a sort of chilli stew,
With chestnuts, mushrooms, beans and leeks too!
Getting it made was a bit of a hullabaloo…
Cut the end off of my finger. It’s what knives do!
Looking decent, to her door, I took it to…
I made an extra meal for her on Monday,
Oh, I added some chips into it; I hope its okay,
Sweeties, Limoncello, Vodka… Hey Hoe!
Blogging Again
Got on with the blogging again,
Despite the terrible pain…
The slightest movement of the arm…
Only not moving it at all, was it calm…
I got a feeling of sheer self-disdain!
Unbelievably – Door Chime Again!
The door chime rang out once again, so…
I ventured up the hallway, it was the postman, Johnno,
Bills, forms to fill in, upwards the rent must go?
Marvellous news this time, at last something nice did flow,
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
A parcel from HRH Lisa and Billum, in the Americas. Something that Lisa has sent me for Christmas. Bless her, she is so caring and sweet! Tempted as I was, I did not open it… yet! I will enjoy doing that when I have my Christmas morning pork pie and open the cards.
HRH Lisa, Billum & Inchcock
Bless you, HRH Lisa. You’ve given me something to look forward to, on Christmas Day now, my petal. ♥♥♥
The arm is still swollen, and I am disgusted with myself for making the Whoopsiedangleplops over the delivery dates of the food.
Getting bad again, people dying, others in pain,
Those who moan about a lockdown again…
Others worried; what will a lockdown gain?
Well, it might just prevent some folks from death and pain!
Has compassion and caring… has gone down the drain?
We can’t stay in our homes forever’ say residents in one of Nottinghamshire’s most vaccinated areas
Ed Cleator, 42, who works as a product manager, lives in Tollerton – and he told Nottinghamshire Live that getting the vaccination was the best thing to do. “We can’t all hide, we can’t all stay in our homes forever so you’ve got to do something – that is the best thing to do for everybody,” said Mr Cleator.
I agree with his wanting folk to get vaccinated – even if it’s all a worldwide con by pharmaceutical companies to make money, or Governments to increase taxes without much resistance, or part of Tony Blair’s ploy to get back into number ten! Maybe even an undeclared invasion plot by the planet Omnicronski?
However, despite the Conspiracy Theorists, who march en masse without wearing masks and demand not to be forced to put on a facemask in shops… well, anywhere really, people are still dying.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
LOCAL NEWS SNIPPETS
What’s with all the gun-crazy youths nowadays?
I see little incentive to give them praise,
Mayhaps they are scared, to get their takeaways…
Cause the other spotty-faced youths and tearaways…
Might also have guns, used in the shadows and subways?
Though now they use them in shops and on highways…
My hopes for the future beings, it just dismays!
Nottingham Police Alert!
The Nottingham Police seem to have failed to notice the odd printing on this Alert. These are the people we trust to catch criminals, be alert themselves, investigate murders, robberies, muggings, shoplifting etc. every day in my City.
Worrying, innit?
Off fog-off! Hehe!
Hope they’ve not been defanged!
Needle Spikings?
So, Her Honour, Judge Julia Warburton, then decided, after being conned by the defence money-grabber lawyer, Ms Hocknell, into thinking the 21 times being sentenced criminal, only did it through being drunk? So, she doesn’t even send him to prison, but helps him by putting him on a sort of AA meeting list? A suspended sentence, as Ms (Lets vote Liberal) Hocknell told the so-called judge; He’d reached the end of the road in what prison can do for him? Namby-pamby pillocks like her, giving help, without any thought for the next victim, for I guarantee there will be one, the fact the swine could have killed someone being drunk and driving as well, no licence, no insurance etc. The inconvenience suffered by the victims… Pathetic!
Part of the Inchcock Local News Snippets Series
Sorry, it’s a late blog, but I, but I’ve been u tp the neck in it trying to get caught up[ after 19hr visit to the hospital. And, my sweetheart Gillie, who does not want to adopt me, is far too young for me, the best-looking female I’ve seen in donkey’s years, a kind gal, who gets my ticker going at a fair rate, came home with me today. After going with me for the Booster jab, shopping, and heartstring-pulling. I must ask her to let me take a photograph of her, I forgot to take the camera with me as well. Ah, ♥
Meandering (he knows no other type) Ode to Life, in which Inchcock bemoans his mental and physical conditions.
Well, wouldn’t you?
Thursday 16th December 2021
I sense the sanity, logicality that I used to find absorbing,
It is now departing my personage and brain… slowly ebbing…
Is there no chance of a semi-restoration?
At least a partial rehabilitation?
With meditation, concentration and circumducing…
Will hope become a possibility of memory-enhancing?
The Thought Storms arrive… sometimes only fleeting!
Even so, the brain-box takes a terrible beating!
But there is no point in me moaning and bleating…
To escape pains and be active, I’m not that contortionistic,
To recapture common sense – how? I’m no academic…
Not that they are coping with the Covid pandemic!
Unknown, mental disorders on man’s brain are feasting!
Life to me is akin to my terrible blogging… But without any face to face dialoguing, I absolutely love a friendly bout of chinwagging… Being deaf can make life a smidge disparaging, And my ode ideas always seem to be dingdonging… For detail from short term memory, I’m always wrestling, I fell in love the other day, she was only fortysomething! I suppose you’ve noticed my habit of subject-hopping? Starting on, say, food, sex, intentions etc., constantly swapping! I find forgetting things humiliating, gut-wrenching!
These Thought Storms, persistent, then suddenly vanishing? But they will return, with their Tardis swooshing… I can be doing anything… weeing, singing, teeth-brushing… Sometimes they can set me off soul-searching.
I may get hit by a good idea, but it’s only ever glancing… Other occasions drive me into a mental-panic, screeching! I’m not normal; that is a well-known thing… I sense there is someone always watching… Whether I’m sleeping, eating or doing the washing…
And the itching fungal lesion, I can’t help scratching! Which, of course, starts it off again, bleeding… I usually just clean it up and do the medicationing… Then feel sorry for myself, at how it is hurting!
But a Beep-Popper By Night!
Years ago, I loved to go Be-Bopping, Nowadays I get tired after burping! Occasionally, I sink to witwantoning, Not for long, I routinely fart and start yawning! Fall asleep, dream of me and Grizelda, tobogganing. We’d exercise, for suppleness and strengthening, Have multiple sessions of in-depth, close-up cuddling… Then, I’ll wake up… none of it was true – bloody sickening!
Part of The Inchcock Make ’em Laugh in Ode Series!
I’ll start at the beginning, (Sounds logical to me? – Hehe!) Perhaps I might learn to spell as well… tomorrow…Tsk!
I woke around 03:00hrs and rose gingerly to my feet,
But the knees and legs bothered me most, mate…
Just look at ’em on the left here… What a state!
Still had Arthur Itis giving pain and the flat feet…
Without pains, a life I would think would be incomplete?
The regular fluid retention that usually sinks into the feet seemed now stuck in the top of the legs. My patellas are all knobbly? But I’m not complaining (then anyway).
I began to think through the needs and actions of the potentially hectic mornings requirement. Which, as I noted, were:
Get the ablutions done early, like straight away…
Make sure I do not use the shower as early as this in the morning, so I’ll have a stand-up session at the sink.
Get the teeth done first.
De-coke the nasals.
Saccades eye drops in. (Try to get some of the medication into the eye this time!)
Before shaving, don’t forget to say your little prayer to the Peripheral Neuropathy God. And make sure the aftershave is handy to stop any bleeding.
Do take care medicationalisationing. I can tell already that Little Inchies final lesion has been bleeding cause as soon as I moved, the dried blood cracked as the P.P.’s were adjusted… So be prepared for agony, and brave it out, mate!
Now cometh something that will be as much hassle and pain as anything…
Yes, the sock-glide has to be used for the first time in months! Sorry, but it’s just too cold to go out to the Dentist, barefooted in my shoes this time!
I wish you all the best of luck with carrying out this fearful, scare-making task! But, it’s got to be done!
Things went relatively well as it happened.
As expected. The worst by far was the tender application of the dreaded, feared, always tear bringing…
Tender in the extreme and extra painful cause one has to get to things in the first place… 😢
The Sock-Glide won the ‘Most Hated’, The Most Feared’ awards. But the fungal lesioning retained its status as ‘King of the Excruciating Medicalisationings!’
I was so glad that I got these done and out of the way early on… I even Smug-Moded about it for a while!
I made my first brew of tea, finished off yesterday’s blog, and got it posted off. The Carer came nice and early, so that was nice… her seeing the photo of my legs on the computer screen was a bit harrowing for the gal, though. Hahaha! Me too!
I thanked the girl and offered some nibbles or drinkies in thanks, but she wouldn’t have any. I fang-you! Off she went taking my waste bags to the chute with her.
The computer turned off, and I got down to getting things ready in earnest. Let’s have a think now…
Bus pass to get back home with, yes! Camera, check. Cash card… okay. Keys, Alert bands, Warfarin I.D., yes… Somethings missing, methinks? Aha, shopping list and cash card, Gorrit! By the time I was all ready to go, it was about 08:15hrs as I set out. I got into the lift and down to the ground floor…
Then went back up to the 12th-floor and the flat and got a face mask adorned. Nearly made another cock-up there!
THE JOURNEY…
Down and outside, over the road, Accifauxpas, nought!
I turned around, to the view of Winwood Court,
I took a photo of it… well, I thought I aught!
But the gravel hill up into the park made me fraught…
Made it up the hill in one go – but I was heavily breathing,
A dog came from nowhere, barking at me; I was seething!
Nearly ended up mucking my underclothing!
The dog owner arrived, she was chunky, fortysomething…
I fell in love again… the mouth was frothing…
I limped my way through the twitchel no one was about,
I was a little nervy, so I still kept a lookout,
Had a look around as I came out…
That twitchel has an ominous aura, there’s no doubt!.
Down the hill, as far as Elmswood Gardens, then right…
And alongst it. I plodded towards the traffic light…
Mansfield Road road, the spending did start!
Too early for the Dentist, I called into the Wilko store, Laundry booster, Zoflora and Trots tablets… Yes, some more! The tablets were easy to get, four feet from the floor… The booster too high, out of reach, to my displeasure! I ask a lady for help, at her leisure… The Zoflora, bottom shelf, I ended up on the floor! But the ladies laughed and helped me up some more!
Out just in time to get to the Dentist,
They treated me well, although they were pressed…
A new gal training on the reception desk…
I was soon fetched to see the Dentist Oola Bogusz,
As she leant over me, I could sense her firm left bust…
She smiled at me a lot, was I going mad or what?
She and the nurse actually joked with me???
Toothpaste prescription, Something amiss here, just you see!
In no time, I was treated and set free!
I had a funny turn while paying my dues…
Well, I had it when I first joined the queues
These were also patient with me… another ruse?
I have to work this out at home, have a muse…
Why the change? They all usually have a short fuse!
Not many folks about? Most of them had not got facemasks on. Even in the Dentist and Wilko. What’s the matter with them?
Down to the Co-op, to get some cans of their delightful own brand chilli-con-carne… why the tastebuds were salivating at the thought of getting some more cans… But No! The assistant asked the manager for me, and I found that they had stopped stocking this product, Grrr! Gnatwrangles! Damn them! Curses! Flibblegonkackles! Gits! Slobs! Flibblegonkackles! May they go bankrupt! And may whoever it was who decided to stop stocking my beloved cans of Chilli; Get festering, fungal-lesions bursting out slowly all over their body, for at least a full year, before they finally rot away; in absolute agony! Not that it overly bothers me, mind!
Then up to the top of the road to Lloyds Chemist,
Oh, Pharmacy nowadays, sorry, how remiss!
I got the prescription toothpaste from Alice,
Leaving, I trapped my finger in the door…
My Saccades vision is now feeble & poor…
And the left index finger is bloody sore!
Humph!
I got to the bus stop and met Esther, we had a natter, as she was on her way to the flats to do someones cleaning. Nice to see her. We walked through the link passages together – they can’t touch me for that! Hahaha! (Can they?)
Home Sweet Home!
Well, things didn’t go too bad, well, maybe… erm… either way, I did enjoy the getting out of the flat bit. Although it cost me a lot of dosh, a little blood, frustration and had moments of utter confusion… that’s life, you see… Well, it is for me!
My Route Taken
Yellow on foot – Purple on the bus.
I unloaded the bits of stuff purchased. Of course, there would have been more; had the lousy, stinking, crap-ridden, overcharging, dog-breath, Klunglefrazzled Co-op had some their ‘Honest Value’ Chili-Con Carnie to sell me. But never mind. Shit!
I soon settled into a routine that matched the rest of the day, Drinking spring water, tea and a pee; what a thirst I’d got on me, I may not have been contented, but not depressed, exactly, I started the mammoth task of doing this blog artistically! In between blogging, I even had two callers, socially! A lovely carer to drop off a Christmas card, nice & early.
Even got a phone call from the Doctors surgery, Wanting to arrange a booster shot for me… I explained I’m having it done at the chemist this Saturday, Adding, I’ll see you tomorrow anyway… Why is that? she did say, ‘For medical, the yearly…’ No, you’re not booked in, evidently? I’ll check, hang on, she said wearily… I’ve got it on my calendar, my dearie? Have I got it wrong again? Am I illusory? Nothing on our records, she added hastily… Oh, a free day for me then, that’s satisfactory… Maybe I can have a hassle-free day? Yes, well, I’ll see, you may be hearing again from me?
The feet, after not wearing socks for months, continuous…
Felt okay, but the legs were feeling somewhat lethiferous,
So, I wound up the trouser legs, oh, the fuss…
What a change to earlier ones, more flush,
Still swollen, at the top, but fatter lower down?
Will the fluid flow with a gush?
Will things spurt in a rush?
Will the legs turn to a sodden mush?
Will the world, these limbs discuss?
Will the cause be revealed, as dracunculus?
Look what I found in the middle of the kitchen floor!
A rock hard escapee garden pea, what is more…
The miracle is, how I hadn’t noticed it before?
Has my eyesight, really got that poor?
Am I going potty? I’m not sure…
Camera Out – Balcony Utilised!
To take some snaps of the wonderful view.
The amazing sky, shown in the first two…
In a couple of shots of Chestnut walk, you won’t see any queue,
The place is sparse of people. what can I do?
Are they all inside, eating sausages, fish or making a fondue?
Mayhap some are trying on their Christmas tutu?
Or on holiday in Bulwell, Cardiff or Timbuktu?
Perhaps absent, gone off on a romantic rendezvous?
It’s possible a few could be feeling sozzled or blue?
Out buying food, but the panic buyers are in the queue?
Or in town, with their free bus passes to renew?
I’d speculate more; if only I knew…
Where they have all gone, what are they up to?
Ah, gorrit! Christmas! They’ll be making their homebrew!
Well, I’d better get some food – salad or a stew?
No, vegetarian sausages and root potatoes… that’ll do,
I’ll take a photo of it later, just for you to have a peekaboo!
Worra Nosh!
Vegetarian! Royal grown potatoes, root vegetable mash, tomatoes, Nigerian podded peas, Veggie sausages, cheese and bean pastie, with orange jelly and spray cream for dessert!
Taste Rating: 7.9/10 – Delicious!
Part of ‘The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe In Rhyme’
To all my thousands of fans throughout the world, I wish you all good fortune, fun, festivities, euphoria and future financial prosperity! (To both of you!)
Cunningly put together by the regurgitational Inchcock!
Just back from holiday, he went to his sweetheart, Ceindrych, in,
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch!
But she turned him away, hit him and called him a wazzok!
Which came over him with an aftershock…
And he’s now got writers’ block…
He fell over putting on a sock…
Gave Little Inchies fungal lesion a nasty knock…
His self-pity just ran amok!
So he had a drink of dandelion and burdock,
Watched an old film about the Morlock…
Put the kettle on and got an electric shock…
Harolds Haemorrhoids bled, on his buttock,
He really felt depressed and schlock…
He felt stupid, a fool, and a laughingstock,
So he started this blog and took off his frock!
Bearing in mind that I have not seen a policeman in my last three visits to the City Centre, where will they get them from?
There’ll be even fewer police officers available now that some more have been attacked and injured. Mayhap we could call on the Boy Scouts to help out? Or not!
The poor boys in blue have got it all on in the fair City of Nottingham, have they not?
I hope all the policemen have had their ‘Boosters’. The poor downtrodden, spat upon and attacked tiny mites, have obviously been very busy, you know!
It’s not looking good, is it? I delved further into this matter, visiting the BBC News site. (Well, someone has to!)
Well, that cheered me up, no end!
Hope this link works to a clip taken on a door camera!
“She was not physically hurt”? Oh, well, she won’t be bothered at all then. She is not scared to death each time she goes to sleep or is worried about going out and coming back for ages. Maybe you could arrange for some drugs to be got the offending scumball, on a monthly basis… that’s one way of stopping them robbing to get money to pay for their habit? Why not throw in some fags and booze as well? Perhaps pay for their rent?
Blimey O’Riley, what next!
Corona Virus mark four, five on the way, bloody hell!
Omicron symptoms flu-like, and losing your sense of smell,
Food shortages, Parties at number ten: alarm bell!
Government confused giving out flannel…
Anti-maskers, shoplifters, rising prices; gloom to dispel?
Folks depressed, the honest ones only, just as well!
Hope we don’t see the return of the pterodactyl!
Thought you might like to recognise their faces,
A multitude of criminals of different races…
Muggers, con-artist, shoplifters and drug-embracers?
Pickpockets, burglars, killers and indifferent protesters?
Gunmen, knifers, they should all be made into lifers!.
There I was, in heaven… with Sweet Morpheus, it was so nice!
I was romancing a buxom lass named Eunice…
And Inchie butted in, with his pestering moans and advice!
But, for the first time ever, we agreed and did empathise…
Perhaps it was not wise for us to try to fraternise?
But we did; I think he enjoyed it likewise!
Inchie: Well, that hospital visit was farce wonnit, mate?
Inchcock: Huh! You again, what’s wiv the mating bit, then?
Inchie: I know we’ve ‘ad our ups and downs, but you’ve been through a rough patch fer this last twenty years or so, and I thought it’d be nice to be nice for a change…
Inchcock: Did yer? I feel like by being non-argumentative, I’m taking away your little pleasures…
Inchie: Worrya mean?
Inchcock: Well, yer usually wins all the verbal fights and tiffs we ‘ave…
Inchie: Naturally yer turd! I’m yer Alto-Ego, yo are the ethereal thing like. So fings like conscience, giving a toss, and yer ability to fret, worry, show signs of pissed-offerdness, and you can get a bit depressed at times… I’ve noticed that! So I’m taking my chance to confuse yer all the more you see?
Inchcock: Not really; I’m flummoxed again already! Why can’t you just leave me alone to get some rest and peace?
Inchie: No, no, no! It doesn’t work like that, dumbo! It’s my job to hassle yer, keep yer on yer toes, like. Else overwise yer might commit Hagi-Kari… then…
Inchcock: What! After all, I’ve been through, do you think that I’d top missen? Rubbish, claptrap, your just stirring things again, aren’t you?
Inchie: Yea, I’m good at that, ain’t I, no doubt about it…
Inchcock: For God’s sake, if you are me, or my other half, surely you must suffer the agonies that I do – so why bother…
Inchie: Ah, you’ve not gorrit yet, have you? You are! I’m not me…
Inchcock: What?
Inchie: Yo just said, for God’s sake, yea?
Inchcock: Yes…
Inchie: Well, I know that yer doesn’t believe in him… see? Provin’ what an ignorant, uneducated, pug-faced, pathetic, docile, pussy-cat, yer really are, cocker!
Inchcock: Fair enough with the name-calling; there may be an element of truth in some of what you say about me – but surely you must be the same yourself?
Inchie: Perhaps mush, or maybe not. Are you not talking to yourself in reality? Come on… answer that, yer moron!
Inchcock: If there isn’t any God, then why even bring up the subject – I’ll tell you why, no… hang on, what was the question?
Inchie: I know, but it got yer going, see!
Inchcock: How can one see? If you are really me? There is…
Inchie: You retardate; You just can’t grasp it, can you, tit-head?
Inchcock: Grasp what?
Inchie: The relationship between us, knucklehead! Yer still think yer talking to someone else?
Inchcock: I am, you!
Inchie: Yer, but I am you! Ain’t I?
Inchcock: Just because you say so does not mean that is correct!
Inchie: Ah, so you think we are two different entities then?
Inchcock: I’m not sure… what do entities mean?
Inchie: Concentrate pillock! Fink abarght this… you’d know what the word means, yea! If you was me, and I was you… right?
Inchcock: Erm…
Inchie: Look, numbskull, I think it best if yer gerron with the pork pie supper you wuss plannin’, then I’ll give yer an hour or so, I’ll come back to hassle yer a bit more. I can’t be fairer than that, can I?
Inchcock: Does this mean I’ve won an argument with you?
Inchie: No, you silly old fart! It’s cause it’s Christmas!
Up and at it blogging,
Feeling much better, astonishing!
Went to do the Glengettie brewing,
Notice outside was suitable for viewing…
With the morning sun encroaching!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
End Car Park was in use, staggering!
End Car Park was in use, staggering!
Leaves falling down from trees overhanging,
Resistance to use this car park is flagging,
Three vehicles today; is this a new beginning?
Oh, where’s my tea… I’m gagging!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Carer Carole Came…
And seconds later, the Sainsbury order came in,
Carole to do tablets, the ulcer machine-gunning,
Confused with so much to do at the same time…
But Carole took charge, with a drink of lime…
So I did, took the sorted tablets in no time…
She put the items of food in the kitchen, all in…
Shot off, she was in a rush, but she still cleared the waste bin!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Suddenly alone again and sulking…
I got the food away, rushing…
Six items short delivered… it’s a sin!
Needed food, I was again burping…
Got a banana and to take off the skin…
Guess what crawled out of it?
A beetle, it was gigantic!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Guess Who Ordered Wrong Milk, then?
My Accifauxpas in ordering online food…
Continues, with such unimpeachability!
I’d ordered the extra-cream full milk, dude!
One can’t beat vascular dementia, well, not me!
I assure you I ordered it accidentally!
I was not too bothered, well, not overly…
Cause the Grahams full cream milk tastes lovely!
The guilt is now fading… Lip smackingly!
Hehehe!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Back onto the computer again,
The urge for a biscuit or two came…
As I stood up, Dizzy Dennis attacked the brain…
I ended up on the floor yet again…
My language, I admit, was a little profane…
Then I had to struggle back upright again,
T’would have been comical, if not for the pain!
I knocked off the coat… But that is nongermane,
Stuff fell out of the pockets again!…
Getting down and back up to retrieve things was a strain, I carried on fed-up, biscuitless, now with terrible back pain! I went for a wee-wee and found a bloodstain! In agony now… should I try cocaine?
Part of the Inchcock Make Them Laugh, In Ode Series
I woketh up with a sore throat and extra-tight chest,
Not exactly poorly, but not feeling at my best,
The Porcelain Throne found another abscess!
Work the ailments off; that would be best…
So I hand-washed the jumper and brown vest!.
When the shirt was finished being washed,
I saw the pots from last nights lone symposiast…
On the draining board, messy, unwashed!
Dropped the plate onto my toe it crashed…
So, I made a start on the blog, unabashed!.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Change of Plan!
Upon seeing the twinkling lights at their prettiest…
I got out the Canon camera for a photo fest…
I tried to take some close-ups, appreciate them to the fullest,
Two came out looking the nicest…
Good work from the local Christmas lightists!
Ah, spotted some more; this one made me feel chuffed!.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Carer Richard Arrives!
Onto the computer with the freshly brewed tea,
I didn’t pour it on it, just took it with me… Hehe!
An hour or so later, the door chime rang out to tell me…
Carer Richard had come to look after me, medically!
It seems that I must have looked worse than I felt this morning. For the lad was deeply concerned at my pastier than ever, face and violently shaking limbs! Which was appreciated. I explained about the sore throat and tight chest and had a job to stop him from calling for the paramedics at first.
When he gave me the medications, he saw the tablets coming back up fin the throat and out of the mouth onto the floor. (The missing teeth make it hard to stop them when this happens. Haha!) I still didn’t feel poorly, just out of sorts, but Richard phoned someone (111?) for advice. They, whoever it was, suggested he call for the paramedics. I explained further about my not feeling really bad, the food delivery that was due, and a call from Gill was expected, so I was not keen on missing them. When the medicine came back up, he called the ambulance for me. Bless him!
The food delivery arrived while we were waiting. Richard put the stuff away for me, and paramedics arrived. To chaps gave me a good going over. And ECG, temperature, and Blood Pressure. They recommended I go with them straight away to the Queens Medical Centre. I was still a midge reluctant, but Richard and the ambulancemen all thought it necessary, so I gave in.
My not being used to having three people talking simultaneously, a fair fluttering of flusterationing made me a little confused about what was going on.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Prepping for the Journey!
The Walker would be needed, the medic was not too keen on it,
I relayed how much easier it is than relying on a walking stick,
One of the men conceded but was worried it going missing…
“You’ll be moved about on a trolley for hours. I’m not kidding!”
“So many get stolen, or at least go missing!”
“It’s pandemonium in there… don’t mean to be discouraging!”
“But we can take it with us, and, to save you worrying,”
I’ll put an ID badge on the walker-guide thing!”
He did Too! How kind was that! Great! Thanks, Mate!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Arrival At The Queens Hospital
Paramedic chaps got me and the trolley to the A&E Emergency,
Waited in a corridor, on an uncomfortable wonky trolley,
I was pleased when the others moved swiftly…
But they slowed down somewhat, busy place, much activity…
All cubicles full got the first examination embarrassingly…
As they checked me for Covid, outside a lavatory!
Then they checked my rear end… deep in the cavity!
In the corridor, I exposed my protection pants and more…
Whatever they were using left me sore…
I’ve no idea what they were looking for!
My embarrassment, beyond repairability,
The depths of depravity!
They had a queuing system that would baffle you at best…
Each time I was moved a few feet, it was never less…
The walker-guide, but, they were busy I guess,
I had to ask for the trolley each time; I think I was an optimist?
I reckon I wee them off; they did look pissed!
Then, out into a corridor again, all bare, not the prettiest!
Corridor Back Into the Main room
Aha, I nodded off; they woke me to give me attention. Over the next four hours, I had two ECGs, blood tests, Warfarin blood test, and Blood pressure was taken, and I fell asleep again. They woke me moving the hospital trolley again, and I turned to look for the walker-guide, and someone was rifling through it at the far end of the room, and it was a big, cram-packed with people, room! Other trolleys were moved, and I lost sight of my special trolley…
It took me over half an hour to find someone who would talk to me, but I found out she was coming to me anyway. She humphed, sneered, and went of to retrieve the Walker for me. She was back in a minute and crammed it betwixt my arm and the divider wall. She was not a happy gal at all!
To my amazement, she got out the ECG and BP stuff again?
I bravely asked her, “Are the other readings not right then?”
She calmly replied: “Nae, we lost them…”?
Adding, rather wittily, “Yer can’t expect fings to be Utopian!”
And she never spoke to me again!
The Noisy Moaning Git!
By now, ten hours or so, I’d been in here, innit?
But I was not feeling in the slightest antagonistic,
In the trolley in front, a chap getting verbally vitriolic…
His tackle on view, he was getting verbally athletic!
I could No Longer Stay Silent!
Mouthing it, scratching his balls, wearing no underwear!
“I’ve been here half an hour – nobody’s seen me, taint fair!
I said: “It’s a hospital, not the Mayfair”,
He swore back at me; I said in answer…
I’ve been here for ten hours clear…
So, give them a rest, or I’ll give you a vestibulocochlear!
Amazingly he quietened down, and folks gave a cheer!
That word stayed with me for some reason, not sure what it means. Something to do with Peripheral Neuropathy, I think. No one was more surprised than I was when he quietened down. I was expecting him to get up and attack me. Mind you, I was ready and prepared.
He made me so angry. Even two medical staff thanked me! Hahaha! I got a cup of tea and some biscuits.
Lady Doctor From Cardiac DVT Clinic Visited me!
Basically, she reported that the Warfarin INR level is satisfactory, and the mechanical aorta-valve is doing its job! I thanked her!
A nurse arrived to do yet another ECG & Blood Test
I dare not make any comments, although she was a lot friendlier with me this time?
My trolley was moved around for the next two hours
An A&E doctor came to me and said You’ll be allowed to go home shortly, and they have arranged a lift for me. Great!
Seven trolley-moves and an hour later…
A young lady came to collect me and the two trolleys in a white coat and took me into another department to await the lift being arranged for me. Given another cardboard cup of tea and more biscuits. At least now, being out of that haemorrhoid-testing big trolley and in a chair, I can drink and dunk with less hassle from Neuropathy Pete’s shakes.
As I fell in love again, I inquired of the white-coated buxom young lady; I have not been for a wee for 19 hours. Is there was a WC I can use, please. Only if you need a wee, no closets are available here, as you are not allowed back in the treatment room again. Oh? I confirmed that I only needed a pee, and she gave me a cardboard urine pot and told me where to go to use it. So, I did!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Taxi Home
An old ambulance took me home, not a taxi, A man and daughter team, jolly nice folkski, We had a good natter en route, socially, The chap came up to the flat with me… Offered him a nimble or plonk, to thank him dearly, Beer & Tequila, his choice, Cheers he said appreciatory, Using the loo, he departed; I think his name was Hughie.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I had to get the itching ECG pads off
Coor, that’s betterer!
Food, the next task!
Very Tasty! Baked bean and cheese pastie, a BBQ beef burger and a pot of lemon mousse with spray cream, lots of it! Gorgeous!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Medicated A Few Areas
No more notes on the writing pad
I must have fallen asleep?
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Part of The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe In Rhyme
