After another ‘orrible night of ever waking up, and Thought-Storm attacks, with a few nocturnal hobbles to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket), for painful, partly uncontrollable urinating; And having to clean and freshen up from the effects of the PMD (Pre-Micturition Dribbles), and CMD (Cessational Micturition Dribbling and splashes), all of varying nature.
One is like a torrent, belting out with no control over it and suffering from the splashback. The next, so painful and barely a trickle that somehow still managed to spray over my pyknic, wobbly, midriff more than found its way into the NWWB! Then I had to clean up, freshen up, and back down in the £300, second-hand, c1968, eyesorely-horrendously grungy beige coloured, haemorrhoid-testing, unfit-for-use, recliner.
I seemed to nod off again quickly enough each time, but sleep never lasted more than a few minutes – then it was shooting awake again, and back to the mess-making, to be cleaned up again, wee-weeing.
Around 04:10hrs, I gave up trying to prompt Sweet Morpheus. And decided to get the kettle on, take some photo’s of the dim view of the sky and end car park. I got the kettle on and required yet another wee-wee?
I took a photo with the Canon camera. It’s getting old and wrong now, just like me. (Hehe!) The spring on the SD card has gone, and Canon sometimes doesn’t recognise the card in the camera!
The shot I took of the end car park was far too dark to see much at all. So, I had to go on CorelDraw and adjust shadow, brightness, contrast and intensity to turn it into how it looks here on the right. Smug-Mode-Engaged!
This is the first time a car has not been parked on the yellow no parking zone! Well, while I’ve been taking the photos anyway.
It looks a little eerie if that’s the word I’m looking for. Nightmarish enough to be used as a ghost-themed book cover?
I couldn’t do enough work on the second shot of the view from the kitchen window. Sulk-Mode-Engaged
I made a belated brew of Glengettie, and I remembered that the Health Checks were supposed to be done again. So, I took a Cocodomal and Poo-Hardener, (Gooey last night, and messy! And tended to the Health Checks. I have the maximum SYS, Dia and Pulse figure safely put away; if they exceed them, I’ve got to call the paramedics. I put them safely away seems to have been lost to Vascular Dementia, Doris. Tsk! I started of with the checking. Took the BP and got these results, which I am confident, are well below the danger zones the nurse gave me.
All three readings were nuanced! It’s been a while since I was told I could stop doing the regular sphygmomanometerisationing. Since I started again, I’ve missed doing a few of them.
Then the temperature was taken. 34.9° c; I felt this was fine, but I checked on Dr Google anyway: “Mild +hypothermia (32–35 °C body temperature) is usually easy to treat. However, the risk of death increases as the core body temperature drops below 32 °c. Nae, bother methinks.
I made another brew and destroyed a banana. Made an Iceland order, then I took a stand-up shower at the sink.
A little early to use the noisy shower yet.
And it went jolly well… no, amazingly well! Fantastic, in fact! Here are a few things that pleased me greatly: Little Inchies fungal lesion had hardly bled at all! Shaving, one, I say ONE tiny nick only! Only two dropsies in the whole session! I had to use the Porcelain Throne while doing the ablutions… and it was smooth, bloodless, and not in the slightest bit messy or gooey! Double Smug-Mode Utilised! Only one walking into anything, the door as I left the wet room.
I had just one naughty that bothered me. A bad one; due to my hitting my ankle on the metal tray as I pulled my foot away. I stubbed my toe on the bucket that just had been cleaned and disinfected.
The state of the veins in the ankles and feet was not a pretty sight, but overall… Yippy!
I had a closer look at the vasculitis and venous thromboembolism veins on show. I think these are what the cancelled appointment at the QMC Anticoagulation and Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) was about? However, at 3.5 last time, the Warfarin level was spot on!
The Carer arrived after I’d dressed and gone on the computer. The Carer was in a rush, missed checking my swallowing the tablets, and forgot to take the waste bag to the chute for me (again). But she was obviously in a hurry, bless her. Not an easy job for the gals to do, with different people having differing, altering needs.
I now find myself in a position to give you an updated taste report on the £3 mini box of the Marks & Spencers Marmite Dinky Cheese Pinwheels I got from Ocado. Tasteless, Crap! Having eaten some of them.
Made a start on this blog creating. During which, the wee-weeing has grown less frequent – Phew!
I came across last nights sunset photographs. Both from the kitchenette window. I’m not sure why I took two that were of the same area, basically? I should imagine that Peripheral Neuropathy Pete would be to blame, and the finger must have stuck unfeelingly to the button?
I went on the WordPress Reader to see what folk have posted. Then answered some WordPress comments. Then did some TFZer Facebooking until…
Time to get the fodder sorted out – Oh yea!
Got the Cornish Pastie into the fridge; set the times. Potatoes were already in the slow cooker, and peas were on a low light in the saucepan.
A sort of fumble-thud took place in the obese stomach area, making the flab wobble! A little belching and a few stabbing pains. On my way to the wet room, the rumbling began again. I tore off the trews and PP’s and unceremoniously plonked me botty on the Throne… the action started immediately!
All seemingly over and done, I had the sensation that it wasn’t yet. So, I had a go at the easy crossword puzzle book. And very nearly got four clues answered but made do with three. (Hehehe!)
After ten minutes or so, the backup evacuation came. I was so glad I stayed in situ for its possible arrival.
Then, having washed and cleaned things, I realised I could smell something like burning… I dropped the nail brush…
Panic, flap, heartbeat racing, I rushed out to get to the kitchenette to see what I’d done. Casually shoulder-charging the door frame again on my way – now having to contend with Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, I lunged my way into the kitchen, nose twitching and looking for signs of smoke from the oven… I did feel a dirty great Grade A, class one fool! It was the peas that had been burnt, as for the Cornish Pastie in the oven… I’d not even turned the thing on! So, Vascular Dementia Doris had got me bleeding, bruised, bashed about and going barmy. Left me with a right load of cleaning and sorting out; Trowing away the burnt peas, scrubbing the saucepan, getting some more on the boil, wet room to clean, PPs needed changing. I got the oven on again and reset the timer.
Then, as I was getting the tray and things out, I had another thud in the stomach – no, not the bowels or bladder this time – a sudden fear that I’d left the tap running in the wet room! I grabbed Metal Mickey and went with all haste to check. I believe I might have said something like, “You stupid fart of an old ♠ 6† f=ing idi⅛¬” Something along those lines! I could have cried with joy when I first found everything okay in the room… then I was coming out, I stubbed my toe against the stand-up drier radiator!
If There Is A Lord…
I’d like to ask him/her some questions; this’ll be awkward… If there is a God, un he finds I don’t believe, I could be buggered? Here goes: Why did you make me earthbound… With the minuscule willie wot I found? Girl or Boy problem? I’ll be bound!
My young life was cruel, but I was only semi-hard… Mam and Dad fighting, she left… I ate bread and lard! Or on the weekend sometimes an Oxo cube or a pilchard, Fast forward, why take Suzie from me? It made me hard! Memories, whatever you do, I’ll not discard!
My hair fell out at 20; others at 80 have plenty, tit! I tried to be a good man, my hearing went, have you heard? Then you stopped my heart, a mechanical one replaced it… Ulcer, being shot, hernias, life was haphazard… Even my already mini-willy further withered!
I pressed on, expecting things to improve, with disregard… Got shot again, and you sent me Stroke… Flashforward… Made me redundant at 62; you are a wizard! I survived that; Vascular Dementia to me, you catapulted! Rotten teeth, poverty causes that and being demented… The hearing gets worse, things are going downward… Now both eyes Cataract, Saccades and they’re Glaucoma’d…
The money is getting low, But of course, you’ll know… I’ll have to rob an apple orchard, Keeping tabs on your scoreboard? Now, black depressions on me, you bestow! The ailments make me fat when I should be like a scarecrow!
Oh, and why, with all the other crap, did you give me hammertoe? I really have tried to be a decent fellow… But bad luck seems to constantly flow… To the little-willied idiot that you know… The one with ever-increasing ailments, now it’s lumbago! And, from the fungal lesion, blood continues to flow, You even teased me last year with impetigo!
The funeral’s all paid for when I have to go… Sorry I cannot muster any faith or belief, though… I don’t believe in Christmas or Mistletoe… I’ll be leaving behind a few friends, but many more foe, Slowly I’m getting ready, feeling more mellow… I’d love to leave behind me an afterglow… Reincarnation? Oh, no, no, no! Is it yet time for me to go? Please let me know…
………………………………………………
Finally got the meal sorted out, served up and feasted upon with great relish and satisfaction.
It took me no time at all to entirely consume this nosh.
The black tomatoes were as perfect as one can get, most beautiful tasting! Sob! Shame it’s the last of them.
Only the Cornish Pastie was below par, but not by a lot. The plate and tray were scrapped of crumbs as well, into my mouth! Hehe! A Flavour Rating of 8.4/10.
As I was doing the washing up, I took three snaps of the dying sunset in the darkness.
The first one was taken straight ahead from the kitchenette window.
The next one was taken to the left. Amazing sky colouring again, I thought.
As I was getting ready to take a shot of the car park on Chestnut Way…
I knocked over the kitchen towel holder, which took the clock, a tub of Citric Acid and my mirror with it, on the way down to the floor! Thundergrongles!
They made a clattering noise as they met with the floor. Which I didn’t mind, cause Herbert in the flat above has been banging away all day, on and off. I hope he heard it, but I felt bad for the folks below my flat. Fantastically, no breakages from the mirror; the acid did not break open either! Wondered if my prayer in ode above had worked? Hehehe!
I got the car park photo taken. Then I got the cleaning up sorted out from the Accifauxpa.
Carer Valerie arrived, which was nice and cheered me up. A Carer who cares is a Carer you want to manage for you. There are a few. Well, many, but one bad apple can upset the apple cart and start the depressions. Hahaha!
Maybe through the joys of ageing and dementia?
Gone are my days of romance and adventure,
Adventure is now trying a chilli-burger…
Pleasure is wee-weeing, not spraying my attire,
Porcelain Throneing can be a lot bloodier…
I can no longer do the Twist or Conger!
One time, I was known as a keen jogger…
Ageing and ailments, each can be a cruel bugger!?
Wednesday 26th January 2022
After a few hours of waking and drifting off again repeatedly, I rose gingerly, caught my balance, and sensed the warm damp feeling from the Protection Pants area. (Humph!) So, the first mission was to grab Metal Mickey and hobble to the wet room. Which I did.
The normal suffrage of pain getting things cleaned up and medicated. Little Inchies fungal lesion had bled well. But at least I caught it before the blood had dried and gone hard… it’s always agony getting the PP’s off and reopening the lesion if that happens. So, despite the pain, I was moving toward a chirpy outlook on things. (Which in itself is a rarity, nowadays, but it was not to last for long!).
Had a wash and shave, did the teggies, and got dressed. I’ve got a food delivery coming today… I think, from Ocado. It came shortly but had not supplied the veg that Sister Jane wanted, “Humph”.
WHOOPSIEDANGLEPLOP: Into the kitchen… to find I’d left the oven on and the cold water tap running last night! The self-loathing and foul language instantly began with a venom that surprised me. So I hate myself that much? Well, yes, I suppose I do? Or maybe not… It’s just Vascular Dementia-Doris that causes these problems that I really hate!
However, a couple of slices of luck did ease my self-denunciatory outbursts somewhat. At least it was the cold water tap, and there was no plug left in the sink, so no flooding! And there was no food in the oven to burn. So really, it was like a Semi-Whoopsiedangleplop? (I smiled writing that!)
Working on the blog. Carer Richard arrived. I did the BP checks, and Richard recorded them as the new instructions for the next three days. A great result, miles lower than yesterday.
Then the food… Hahaha!
Got the bags into the kitchen.
As you may know, I got some ridiculously overpriced Kenyan podded peas, a weakness of mine. Part baked cobs. Desserts and M&S mini potatoes. (I had some later, these were totally tasteless!) Cornish pasties, yellow and Natoora black tomatoes (Delicious!) Also, a new M&S product, Marmite rings
The meaty, tasty Natoora Tomatoes!
The bank-manager-upsetting Marmite Dinky Cheese Wheels from Marks & Spencers. The whole packet weighed only about 4 ounces!
Potato Rosti Cakes, I’ve not had these for years. Due to not being able to get into the M&S store basement food hall nowadays, so looking forward to trying these later in the week.
Snapped the end car park situation. The small red car was in Red Van’s parking spot in the hatched no parking zone. The red van is still in the proper parking area. It seems residents have decided to ignore the yellow lines altogether.
☎ I got a call from QMC (Queens Medical Centre), Ophthalmology Department. The lovely lady asked me if I could get in on Sunday, for my first consultation meeting with an Optometrist, regarding the Cataract operations. Blimey, this was a quick appointment, I thought!
Then when she said with it being on a Sunday (Next), the realisation dawned on me, as she said there would not be any transport provided for me. Getting a taxi with the three-wheeled walker was not practical. And the buses were scarcer on Sundays and weekends. She said okay when I explained my having Vascular Dementia and not being very mobile. She would inform them and make another appointment, but this may take a while. She’ll arrange a lift for me.
Two weeks since my referral. So I imagine I’ll go back to the end of the queue again now? Which is a smidge deflating. But, fingers crossed. 🤞
Even when, or if, the Cataracts are ever done, then the Glaucoma and Saccades need doing. Hopefully, the glaucoma treatment will involve only eye drops?
If I live long enough, it will be more challenging than ever every morning, then: The new eye drops, ear drops three times a day already and rubbing in the Phorpain gel into Arthur Itis knees, and Back-Pain Brenda twice a day minimum. Little Inchies fungal lesion medicationing, nasal sprays… Not to mention all the medications that the Carers may or may not arrive to issue me with. Or the BP taking and recording, temperature, pulse… Humph! Oh, dearie me! Haha!
Wrote during a moment of inspirationing!
Still, that’s enough of the good things… For life is full of political hornswogglings… Lies, deceit, and human trafficking! Politicians, fiddling and grovelling… Respect, empathy and compassion annulling, Violence, hatred, mugging, knifing and brawling… Life has become scary, frightening and appalling!
Politicians deceit, egotism, conceitedness and backpedalling,
Back-handed best friends, particularly Dominic Cummings!
With his pathetic excuses, lies and manoeuvrings…
His utter contempt, for the populace, the human beings…
Government full of fan-dangling, flannelling and fumbling!
Faltering, fearmongering, with self-profiting festering!
The voters ignored, workers let down, shortchanging!
They are good at covering-up disinformation orchestrating…
Duplicitous fibbing, cheating enshrouding, and suppressing,
Will they ever become open and honest? No, that’s dreaming!
You’d have more chance of murderer hanging, reinstating!
We will never see political honestly and reliability purging…
Could you imagine the truth of Cummings divulging?
For too long now, MPs morality has been haemorrhaging!
Then, there’s the Royal Let-Down!
He is loathed, detested, his actions despised… Acting snotty about it, not very wise, he’s execrated, It’s time the pompous, imperious brat was excoriated! And the truth declared after it’s been traced!
He’s seeking a US jury trial, which may take a while, He’ll not be treated as any rank and file… The thought of special treatment brings up my bile… I’m not saying he’s an ephebophile or paedophile… But getting to the truth would be worthwhile, Acting superior is inbred with Andrew; he’s no style… Will we ever get to the truth – or am I being puerile?
Please enjoy,
Lightheartedly,
Some fiddledeedee…
Thrown in by me…
Can’t help it, you see…
I’ll have to flee,
Time for a wee-wee…
Then a mug of Glengettie tea!
Part of the Inchcock’s make them Laugh: In Ode Series
Waking up all through the night, 4 times an hour on averagely!
Each time, Thought-Storms rampant, both knees hurting arthritically,
Wee-wees galore, getting up and down, good exercise, physically…
Getting out and in the chair went painfully, almost backbreakingly,
On one visit to the nocturnal wee-wee bucket, suddenly…
I realised the time, t’was time to get up, sadly!
However, the Thought-Storms continued, affecting me badly,
Howling around the mind, numbers, calculations, mathematically…
Ghosts, fears, hopes and confusions, mixed maniacally…
Went to fill the kettle, but put water in the saucepan; pathetically!
Left the hot tap running, dropped the milk… I spoke cursingly!
Oh, I wish the Thoughts would leave me, but no, sadly!
Carer Richard arrived, which seemed to ease my mental disarray,
We chatted, both of us relating many a memory,
We have a lot in common, medically…
Although I must say, not academically,
Our natterings went most ambiguously,
I can still access my long-term memory!
My views and thoughts on life today go anachronistically?
If I’ve got the wrong word there, please forgive me…
Richard departed, the brain stopped acting ballistically…
The wee-weeing steadied down… but not entirely,
Cheered up a smidge, I went to get my Strawberry sundae,
But found it had a use-by date on it, for last Friday!
Made a start to this blog, checked the day…Monday,
Thought I’d make a sarnie, last of the beef, oh, Ya!
But the beef had gone off, more stuff to throw away!
Back to the computerisationing, went on an Odeing foray!
Taking time to find a rhyming word, I forgot what I was going to say!
Porcelain Throne time… what will it be like today…,
Oh, that was fine, not messy, good texture… and no delay!
Easiest and pain-free than for many a day!
Coming out, all chuffed, I stubbed my toe on the way…
Shaking Shaun, Shuddering Shoulder Shirley, have gone away…
Only just typed this, and Shirley began to jump and flay…
Contentment and hope, I should not really display!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Photographicalisationings
Got the camera out, and found some snaps I’d taken earlier. I don’t think I’ve blogged them yet, but I could be wrong. It has been known!
Josies Sunday Lunch
My Sunday Lunch
My Second Sunday Lunch!
Yes, a little embarrassing that was. I forgot I’d had an earlier nosh, and made another. I gobbled it all up mind. Glutton!
Strayed off of my plans again,
My memory is such a pain…
Got a shave, cleaned the teeth,
Hit my knee on the bucket beneath…
But I mustn’t and won’t complain…
My higher spirits I want to maintain!
Back to photographing again…
The red van parked in the car park? No, surely…
Good heavens, Gore Blimey, and lackaday,
The red van had to park proper… Mayday!
It’s the black car in his way…
Parked in his illegal spot today!
All I can say is Hahaha!
A misty morning dawning,
Stayed this way all day…
Door chime ringing, it’s Josie!
Returning her Sunday dish and tray,
Said she enjoyed it immensely…
That perked me up, egotistically!.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Thoughts
I’ve lived my life, caringly, blindly and anacreontically,
But mostly I suppose it’s been okay, absobloodylutely,
I must have been old minded at birth, characteristically,
There have been moments of my living abstemiously…
I never fitted in, why I didn’t even like Old Mother Riley!
I’d turn from shyly to bravely, and back again, abruptly…
Rarely aggressively, agitatedly, or abrasively,
Often agonisingly, agreeably, and absentmindedly!
Now I live with depression and insanity…
But try to hang on to my natural humanity…
Vascular dementia, stroke, means mental abnormality,
But it’s all part of life, along with dying eyesight, apparently?
Forgetting new things brings forth my acting apologetically,
I admit to acting more and more confusedly…
But this only happens when I remember, I live pathetically,
Abstractedly, physically arduously, but I love laughter abundantly!
By gum, that was deep in parts. Did I write it?
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Hello, Esther came in, (Just finished taking an urgent wee-wee in the bucket, too!) She’d picked up a parcel in the lobby, and brought it up for me, bless her. It was the TV remote control that amazon said would be arriving on the 28-29th January? Great! She is going to do my washing that the Meridian Care shower failed to do last Friday!
Wallah! Got the batteries into the remote and tried it out. Tales of the unexpected were one too!
Time to get this blog sent off, and get summat to eat.
Fings ain’t too good. But I’m absolutely fed up with hearing myself moan and waffle on about things. So, I won’t!
Photos from yesterday and today…
Carer… erm… Sorry, I’ve forgotten her name.
Intercom screen (Yes, it worked!)
Today
Got up late today. Then, remembered that the Iceland delivery came yesterday! Thought the Iceland delivery was due, so took this snap of the bitterly cold mornings view and shot (Hehe!), well hobbled into the wet room to ready the things for the ablutioning.
Back into the kitchen to make a brew of Glengettie. Took another snap of the moon I spotted. I sometimes notice these things!
Ten minutes or so later, I spotted that I had not turned on the kettle at the power socket. Various words of self-derision were spouted.
Waiting for the kettle again, I took this snap of the City Hospital in the morning mist. I made the brew and took it with me into the wet room to save time. As the Carer is due shortly. So I still had to rush the session a bit. But it didn’t help; in fact, it took me longer than it usually does. The task of stopping the bleeding from one particular shaving cut took yonks. Then, I needed the Porcelain Throne.
Harold’s Haemorrhoids had been bleeding so much I cracked the dried blood as I took off the Protection Pants! But they did a great job of holding things in. Good job. I hadn’t put the Morrison ones on; I think they would not have coped with this flood. Of course, another half-hour lost sorting, medicating and cleaning up! Hey-Ho
Waiting for the somewhat late Carer to arrive, I went on CorelDraw to make some graphics up. Gawd, I spent hours on it. Everything took even longer than usual, and I made a couple of cock-ups by shaking in my right hand. And they were sorted out with pure luck. I’d frozen CorelDraw altogether! Not the foggiest idea how I did so; just blessedly relieved that I managed to.
A landline call came in. I thought it might be Sister Jane. But no! It was Meridian Care’s top office. The Carer would be late coming. Nay bothers, I pressed on with the graphicationalisationing and Accifauxpas making. But did manage to do a couple of graphics done in advance. Before two, I say two carers arrived. Never been done so quickly. Treated the gals, and off they shot off, taking my waste bags to the chute with them. I thank you!
Already late in the day now, I pressed on with another graphic. I don’t want to show them directly, or it just might spoil the enjoyment of my multitudinous host of followers. Sometimes they both visit my site on the same day.
WHOOPSIEDANGLEPLOP – ACCIFAUXPAS!
As I proceeded in a Westerly direction, to my dismay… Towards the front room with the food on the tray… Do I really need to say? Shaking Shaun arrived, and my grip on the tray gave way… I dropped the lot, ruining hopes for this horrible Saturday! I don’t think I reacted ballistically… But, my self-annoyance rose dramatically! Fetched the cleaning stuff from the wet room quickly… Where I saw my undrunk cold mug of Glengettie! I got the cleaning up done, very carefully, The job was painful, annoying, and most stressfully… I didn’t get Humpty, only with myself, quite rightly… But things changed to almost getting tearfully…
I stubbed my toe getting back up off of the floor! Hit my elbow in doing so; now that was also sore! The Dark Depression took over, to my discomfiture! I was testing my own mental infrastructure… Am I mad, I thought… everything I do, withers, for sure! Silly thoughts reigned… about my constant failure… The rest of the day, the depression was wearing and dour! Huh! I suddenly realised I’d not taken a shower!
Moments ago, went in to make another brew, indeed… So, now I’ve got to sort myself out with another feed… My energy, concentration limits I exceed… First, there is another job to do, a regular need… Even if my logicality and thought power do recede… Got to finish and post this Ode, I must heed, I hope that shortly, sanity will intercede? Whoops, it’s time that I wee’d!
HRH Lisa, Problem Sorter Outer, Ether-Carer to Inchcock, Electrician & Nurse (and a cracking looker) was at hand throughout the operation. First Aid box at the ready. Backing up professor Billum all the way. The electrics and life monitorings were handled by Alan.
Billum prepared for the removal of the brain. Amazingly, Inchcock felt not a single pain! He was put at rest, by HRH covering his head area in Phorpain, and giving him an iced lolly. The kindness showed by Billum, was gobsmacking. (They actually had to smack his gob to bring him round later, when refitting the brain and reattaching his head; but that’s for part two to come later.) Billum had thought of everything beforehand, he’d been planning this procedure for over two days, in his glasshouse laboratory. He explained that when the brain comes out, Inchcock may not notice any difference, but not to worry.
Because a false moustache, spectacles, hearing aids, a missing many teeth plastic mouth, and a BO spray would be adorned on the brain straight away; so that it would feel at home without Inchcocks mass of blubber and accoutrements surrounding it. He even supplied mini-walking sticks, crutches, and had the foresight to keep giving the brain a clout now and then, so, as he named him, Brian the Brain would not miss Inchcocks pains from tumbles, walking into things ad the desperate pain from the overactive bladder, Brilliant!
I’m afraid this will have to be caught up with later, because Inchcock’s eyes are too bad to continue, sorry. He may have to skip a blog or two, or just put a few words on. The poor old git is not too good at the moment. The eyes and bladder are the two main reasons.
Professor Billum started with Inchcock’s worst affected area, naturally the brain, but Billum had to take it out first.
Later, I found this photo of last evenings meal,
Chilli beans, Cornish pastie, potatoes, no big deal…
I recall eating it with a particular zeal…
And dropping the cutlery… painful when I had to kneel!
Then, sleeping began to appeal!
The nocturnal wee-wees had come back…
I woke up in a flap,
Dentists and all that,
Had to clean the flat,
Lost me bobble hat…
My mind was all over, what a prat!
I walked into the doorframe hurt my back!
Suffered on the Porcelain Throne – diarrhoeal!
Cut me a few times shaving; things were not ideal!
Clouted the back of the right heel…
That didn’t make me feel very genteel!
Carer Richard called, made time for a bit of spiel,
After he’d gone, an Accifauxpa made me squeal!
Rushing in my panic to get readied in time, rhinorrhoeal!
By hitting my nose opening the cupboard door – Schlemiel!
07:30hrs, I set out on my hobble down to Sherwood,
On my mission to the Dentist, I pursued…
Time for some shopping, into the Co-op I perused…
No fresh peas, fish sauce or smoked ham, I perceived…
So I put the bananas back, and swiftly I did leave!
I called into Wilko, which is on Mansfield Road,
Did I buy much? Nope, out of stock on things a load!
No bleach, mixing bowls, much stuff I don’t need or use,
This caused some silently muttered verbalistics!
I arrived in time for the Dentist’s appointment. Struggled up the two 12″ steps into the hallway with the trolley and hobbled into the hallway and the reception area. Bruised from the effort to gain entry! I can’t cope with doing this part of my journey in Ode.
Reported to the Obergruppenfürheress ladies behind the smash-proof, bank-like counter. I was instructed to take a seat, so I took a seat. Got the crossword book out after 15 minutes of trying to read the labels on disinfectants I’d bought from Wilko. At least I could just make out the clues. I got stuck into the crossword and realised I’d been there for almost an hour beyond the appointment time?
While I was building up the courage to ask one of the ladies… one came over to me. Bless her, she was very patient with me:
“Your Dentist is two floors up the stairs, and we don’t think you are going to make it…” I rudely interrupted and explained: “I’ve not been up to there for the last five visits? I’ve been in the ground floor front surgery, I assumed that my disablement was the reason, so how do I find myself back up in Gods?” (Smilingly)
She said, “It depends on which Dentist is in on the day and the procedure needing to be done.” If you don’t mind, waiting for another half hour, we can get you in the front then?” My reply was, “Fair enough, thank you very kindly.” And back to the crossword-puzzling, I went.
Sure enough, true to her word, a nurse came to collect me, and into the front surgery, I was led. I was being careful not to hit anyone with the walker trolley. We got in, and down in the seat come chair thingy, I was met with this face of the Doctor…
No messing about with this Dentist. As she was filling the tooth in, she gently moved the loose one at the front that I was concerned about and declared it should last another six months, so make an appointment on your way out. She’d filled the Teggy in, in less than five minutes! What? Can I have her next time? Hahaha!
Paid my dues, and the kind receptionist who spoke with me earlier escorted me to the front door and held it open for me. Then helped me down the external steps with the trolley. Thank you, kind lady, ♥
At the bus stop, I met Esther. Who caught the same bus up to the flats with me. Caroline, from the end care home, also joined us. Hahaha! And I found myself trying to talk with two women at the same time… that was oddly lovely for me. Esther said she would call to see me later. Back to the flat…
I sorted out the bits I’d bought and prepped the meal for tonight; the Meridian manager, Natalie, called on me. About six weeks ago, Jillie asked if they could do my washing once a week on a Friday. They can, but it will cost. Naturally! And in the meantime, I’ve had Esther doing the laundry for me? Tsk! We’ve heard nothing back until today.
When Esther arrived, she got in touch with a chap about my missing TV remote control, and when she called on me later, noticed the state of the desks and counter, and set too, cleaning the TV and desk up for me. Then… She called the gentleman after she got the numbers off the TV set, and the man gave her a number of the remote I would need to get. And I went on Amazon and found one. I ordered it straight away. I know I only usually watch an hour a day (Heartbeat), but I often leave it on when I cannot get to sleep, which does sometimes help. Now how kind was that! I know she is a cleaning lady, but above and beyond was her kindness today.
Hahaha! The remote looks just like the throne I lost, so finding the button and which to use should be easy now that I can’t read them. In fact, the print had been rubbed off with so much use over the many years in the old one. Haha!.
First Sundown Photo
Around about 14:00hrs, I began to do this blog. It is now gone 19:00hrs, and I’m only up to here… Sad, innit?
Carer Elena Called
The gal was in a hurry tonight. But Elena checked the medications taking well and caught me dropping two tablets after taking them. Thank You, petal Elena. ♥ She was soon off again after doing an excellent job on me… Medications, I mean, of course!
Sundown Photo Over an hour
Beautiful – Despite the freezing weather!
State of Mind Report
A changeable day, I’ve tried to go with the flow,
A few times today, I’ve stubbed a toe…
Met folks by chance; that was nice, though…
But the teeth and eyes are about to go…
Operations in line, it’s no good moaning, you know…
I’ll stay a thick, demented, happy old so and so…
By the way… the bus driver called me gringo!.
Hey-Ho, Hey-Ho,
To the Porcelain Throne, I’ll go,
Try to control the evacuations flow…
And, without even stubbing any toe!
I’ll insist on being calm and mellow,
I’ll finish this blog after business in the bog…
Although my mind is in a hazy fog…
I’ll make a meal, eat it, and lay in the chair – doggo!
The cause, the reasons for my permanent incongruence? Are numerous, physical and mental… with many a covariance, Trying to work why out is nefarious and needs diligence… Something nowadays, that can cause mental dissidence, Which does little for my becoming extinct self-confidence.
Although years ago, This wasn’t so… But, there you go… What do I know? More than you think, since I started going loco!
Being as deaf as a doorpost, eyesight failing makes one tense, But other ailments to worry about… and this makes sense… Eases the worrying; Neuropathy, toothache… hence… You can’t worry about them all simultaneously, no chance!
Vascular Dementia Doreen helps you to feel at ease… Back Pain Brenda, Shuddering Shoulder Shirley may tease, Arthur Itis and Colin Cramps, bring Ohh’s Argh and Oyee’s, Which reminds me, I still waiting for the operation on the knees? Then the Cataracts, Saccades and Glaucoma bother to be eased? So that proved it, the very though all of these… I’d forgotten all about my being so obese! Oh boy, I’m so easy to please!
Carer Richard said; Why don’t you try clairvoyance? Not sure what the lad meant in this instance… I’m sure I don’t know anyone called Claire Voyance, I told him this for a laugh… but just got back annoyance!
The rare times I get to the stage of semi-confidence… I always get a Whoopsiedangleplop as comeuppance! Yet, I remain permanently in a state of calmness pursuance… Without much success, I usually suffer appurtenance.
Always a bother, using the Porcelain Throne or convenience, The fungal lesion or Haemorrhoid Harold bleed in an instant, The evacuating product is either liquid or rock-hard… renitent? The time and the energy that has to be spent… Time on the throne, then cleaning up, medicating is exorbitant! But, most of all, it’s frustrating and a damned nuisance!
Incidentally, what does it mean, incongruence?
I can’t believe in reincarnation; it’s not common sense… It may indicate the errors in my previous life were immense! This time, I just had to pay for it, take my punishments? This pathetic existence might be the Lord’s chastisement?
I wonder if so, who the hell I was to deserve this life?
So full of failure, depression, no wife, and strife…
Was I Stalin, Hitler or Mao Si Tung in my previous life?
Muammar Gaddafi, Maximilien Robespierre, or Mack the Knife?
Why did I get a minuscule willy and a life of strife?
Nothing in the brain to replace the missing hard drive?
Come think of it… am I actually alive?
What my mind is conjuring, and weirdly producing,
Has a new idiosyncratic strain that needs introducing…
A previously unknown worrying sense of doom-accepting?
You know, a sort of go with the flow, with no coercing,
This new deliberation of mental compliance is almost piercing!
It’s still a new thing, so I’m not going to start whingeing…
No moaning, cursing, complaining or penancing…
But, the control of my thoughts is indeed decreasing!
Kentucky Dream…
A dream only last night, I was in a house, tippytoeing…
Floating, searching, smiling, and happily singing!
It was where my cyber-friends Lisa & Billum were living…
Although they couldn’t hear me, to them, I started chatting…
I was aware this could just not be happening…
I cooked them a chilli stew and started the garnishing…
Left them a note with the meal, and started going…
Outside I was suddenly solid again and segueing…
Along a pathway… the dream started subsiding,
I found myself in my wet room… wee-weeing!
The justice system, I can’t help renouncing…
Criminals, murders freed early, to rob and kill again!
No thoughts of family members or victims; disgusting!
No realisation that they have given anguish and pain…
Pathetic parole board, free killers again, mind shuddering!
Is it the judges, parole board or murderers that are insane?
True Love Lost…
In 1964, I visited Grizelda, hoping she was in the mood for servicing,
She was very good to me, in fact, she was astounding!
For hours we were in heaven, sweating, exhilarating!
For the next session, I was already praying and waiting…
Then shattering news! Grizelda was departing…
But she gave me one last amazing trouncing…
Thus, the end of our fantastic romancing…
Gawd, how I loved our coupling and connecting!
She went home to München… bloody sickening!
One day I might find an affaire du Coeur again?
Confusions…
I ordered two-blade razors for shaving,
I used Morrisons. What should I have been expecting?
I got 5-blade razors for my shaving…
So, did my teeth, de-nasaling and washing…
Started shaving, I found it challenging…
The results were a smidge discouraging,
I’d already got bleeding molars from teeth-brushing,
The razor? I cut my finger on the plastic sheathing,
A tiny cut near the ear hole. Didn’t half sting…
Applying the aftershave to stop the bleeding,
Shuddering Shoulder Shirley started twitching…
Blood in the chest, floor and clothing…
As the Brute, I kept on sploshing…
I dropped the bottle on my foot; I was seething!
Farting about, I was very self-scathing…
But heroically carried on with my bathing!
Then walked into the doorframe, leaving…
The Ophthalmologist: Take this leaflet and read it. The print was too small to read it!
The Ophthalmologist: Remember to phone the Doctor in two weeks to ensure that the Cataract operations application papers have gone through and the process started. No mention of what to do if they hadn’t – And does she really expect me to remember to do this?
Carer: (On me losing the TV remote control, I’ve never found it) You should put it in the same place every time! Well, I actually do try to, so good advice. It’s not clear cut, but falling asleep with the regular nocturnal somnambulant activity almost every night. I often find I wake and turn on the TV, get the crossword book, or, judging by the crumbs found in the folds of my stomach fat, indulge in nocturnal nibbling. But only discover this in the morning after waking. At first, I blamed the mysteries of Winwood Heights, the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions, and other grotesqueries haunting the hallways and lobbies searching for Inchcock. To create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, scare, worry and confuse me! Sometimes, the furniture has been moved too. Shame! So, as sound as the advice was, it wasn’t practical for Vascular Dementia Doreen or me.
Carers – Warden Dean & the Nottingham City Council Commercial Debt and Revenue Recovery lady, and Bank Clerk: (Re the hundreds of pounds 3 months unpaid carer Bills to Meridian). “Don’t worry!”?
Dentist: (On being asked for the umpteenth time to take all my remaining teeth out) “I might be able to save the top front one…” After three have fallen out, the two previous ones she could save having been filled twice, then pulled. My confidence is low!
LookAfterYourEyes.org: The operation usually takes from 15 to 45 minutes. It is carried out under local anaesthetic, so you will be awake but not have any sensation in the area around your eye. Throughout surgery, you will hear the ophthalmologist explaining what they are doing, and you may see some vague movements around your eye. The ophthalmologist will make a tiny cut in your eye to remove the cataract and insert a plastic replacement lens. You will not usually need stitches, but your eyes will be covered to protect it from knocks after the operation.
You will be allowed to go home the same day, but you should have someone to go with you and look after you for 24 hours after surgery. Who?
If this means a Meridian carer, it would cost me a minimum of £440 for the 24 hours! Arghhh!
Just how does one go about declaring bankruptcy? Is it easy?
Part of the Inchies Make Them Laugh In Odes Series
This week the News Snippets are reported, recorded and commented on, by The Nottingham Pensioner Lad, Inchcock (89).
Alto-Ego Inchy: I apologise for the Odeing included in the comments. But the lad has had minimal education. Now, with him contracting Vascular Dementia, as well as various other ailments; Hearing aids, mechanical ticker fitted, Glaucoma, Saccades, Cataracts, Stroke, Peripheral Neuropathy. His tendency to either waffle on, lose the plot or regularly forgets what he was doing, where he is, or where he was going; does not make for readable poetry. But there’s no stopping him. He only sulks when I point out these and other failings to him. Sorry.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Well, this looks good,
Be happy surely we should?
Read the next one and chew the cud!
Your interpretation will go down with a thud!
I’m aware of how they feel, every patient,
I’m waiting on may a medical appointment,
Dentist, Chiropodist, Doctors yearly check…
That’s been a wait of three years, by, heck!
Audio, DVT and Cardiac…
Then the operation on the cataracts,
Glaucoma and Saccades and the Diabetes in fact…
Will I live long enough to get my treatments?
Sozzled, drugged up, and a man with a violent bent,
But will there be a return to prison requirement?
Easier for him to get drugs in there for his sustainment?
Maybe they’ll offer him some mental treatment?
Tell him sorry if this is inconvenient…
Give him some cocaine and pay his rent?
Run of the mill stuff, for the Nottingham creed,
I understand that he was a gynaecologist,
Nothing suspicious, the chap wasn’t a druggist…
Police won’t look too far into this…
With nine officers attacked and on the sick list!
The Police and I…
Have no idea why,
So sorry the lad had to die…
RIP son… It makes you cry!
No matter why – Animals!
All this violence, drugs, gangs, I comprehend?
Slave importers, youths will re-offend…
No deterrent do the courts send…
Viciousness threatens, it’s today trend…
And I think it will only worsen!
A judge was I thought the only person…
Who could, these crimes amend…
But no, so I’m scared and disheartened!.
Self-Centred Scum!
Well, this is interesting news for Sherwood…
A 48% increase in crime figures, should…
make my blood boil, make me angry and rude!
I’m not surprised, I’ve not seen a policeman since May!
Didn’t even see one on Tuesday…
Plenty of yobboes lurking…
Don’t suppose they are working?
I just pray they don’t mug me today!.
Raliegh, John Players, Debenhams, Topshop, Oasis, WH Smith, Burton & Dorothy Perkins, River Island, Banks closing down, Virgin Media sold to Liberty Global and has been ruined by them, Macintoshes, Rowntrees, Frys, Cadburys all sold to Nestles…
But fret not, we have 14 new takeaway shops opened… even though 12 went bankrupt in the last year?
Well, looking at my arm that’s encouraging.
So, basically, she’s got 25 days, what an hour a session? Going to some Community Centre; probably gets a free meal, and she can do some drug trading at the same time. I assume that courts will be providing her with a taxi both ways?
Sunset shots, no idea when from, sometime in the last three days I’ve been without the capability to upload.
Tuesday, mayhaps.
Yesterday morning (Maybe?) Colin Cramps was paining me, All night long, eight hours, no sleep, scarily, But still, in wealth, health, finances and pecuniarily… I have no worries… I am totally hassle-free… I’m lying here, to a certain degree… I can’t walk properly… It’s harder than ever to see… Arthur Itis murdering the knee… Constantly I need a painful wee-wee, Lost the remote control for the TV! Using the Porcelain Throne leaves things increasingly phooey! And to varying degrees, it’s always bloody! So many medications, I’m becoming a druggie, Of pains, aches, worries, fears… I’m never free! Diabetes stops me from eating chocolate and toffee… Always some other medical examinee… Vascular dementia has taken my minds synchronicity, More operations are due, but that’s just a technicality, I’m coping well, really, but with a vulnerability… Too occasional depressions and pathetic self-pity, Yet, I’ve a gift of physical, not mental, survivability, Sometimes, I have an outlook of determination and doability… Often prevented from actioning by my docility… Yet, I press on, causing more damage, such is my senility… Why did the Lord give me life, but not the ability? Fair enough, he gave me more than a fair share of verbosity, And great bonus, in a massive bouncebackability, But far too much instability and aperiodicity? Not to mention my fretting, worrying and trepidity, Oh, I said them – that’ll be the memories absentia! Psychasthenia, I’ve avoided, I’m glad to say it’s not obligatory, Thank Gawd, for my beloved Lisa, Jenny and Jillie 🧡
Made up some Polish pork sarnies, so good they tasted! Planned it for them to be ready, To eat it watching the telly… Heartbeat was on… but I soon capitulated!
I’ll turn on the telly a fine-looking nosh, and I waited… Again, my plans had been incapacitated… The TV remote had absquatulated! Spend so much time searching, going wud! The meal went stone-cold; it could not be ameliorated! No TV, eyesight too bad to read; aggravated! Hearing no good to listen to the radio… The remote control was not appropriated! After a lengthy search, of finding it, there was no likelihood, I was self-annoyed; I could have spat blood! At least the sandwiches tasted really good! A Dark Depression accumulated… As the next Whoopsiedangleplop, I awaited…
The following day I woke, and photo’d the feet, The limbs looked okay, felt alreet, Colin Cramps was easier last night, his pains petite, Then, as I moved, the action was only slight… Arthur Itis attacked – in the right knee, with all his might! Hearing myself whimper made me uptight, I struggled to move and was not very sprite… Then, went to Phorpain it… What a sight!
My disjointed but prettily coloured patella.
The sort of knee one may find on a troglodyte? No sunshine for them either, very little light, But I was more concerned with the failing eyesight, I make myself a sarnie, using Vegemite… Just two little slices, more weight I will not incite,
It was cold, misty and windy tonight, Got the camera, the end car park to highlight… Will the computer let me import? Well, it might… Good heavens, it did! Much to my delight!
The red van on the no-parking zone is like a benchmark, It’s never been known to park up properly, I remark… The van reminds me vaguely of the Bismarck?
Sod it! The knee cap’s come out, off to the hospital!
