– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – A three-pronged attack last night. There were other ailments, such as , with a few rattlings from stirred me a few times. But the masters of mayhem last night were and I was grumpy, irritable and grouchy. A bit of a cantankerous curmudgeon. Later, I had my longest-ever Seizure. I must have been working on the blog cause work had been done that I couldn’t remember doing. When I returned to the moment, the computer had crashed, well frozen. How, when and why? Not the foggiest. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
04:00hrs; Reluctantly, I had to get up to attend the Porcelain Throne. With the last five days being controlled by a stubborn Constipation Conrad, I was in no rush to get there. I removed and emptied the nocturnal pouch. The contents were dark, but have been far worse. I put the kettle on and meandered to the wet room. Another painful affair, but with Tiffany and Erasmus hitting me, the pain of the slow, expanding things and getting stuck a few times during the evacuation didn’t bother me as much as it should have. I completed the task eventually, then went to get some pain relief for the ear and teeth. The tooth tincture spray, a Codeine, and I flushed the left ear and olive oil both.
I was in the kitchen making a brew of Glengettie, and Carer Richard arrived. Not in a good mood. I think his legs were giving the lad a lot of bother. He cheered a little before he departed.
THE MASSIVE BLANK BEGAN. I knew I was on the computer, but just messed about doing different things and no progress was made in these lost hours. Carer arrived. I was not fully with it yet. Medications and I recall her looking at the showerhead that would not work. Then I was at the door saying farewell to her… Back to the computer, and was pleased with tthe ode making. Then, back into another blank… or I fell asleep. When I came round or woke up, I tried to write on the blog, but it wasn’t having it, then the blue screen of death appeared. I turned it off, and feeling [erky but angry with myself, I de-scabbed some potatoes to have later; having closed down the computer, fully expecting it not to come back on, my oral was at its lowest. A good job. I took a few photos, some of which I’ve no recollection of taking. But I do recall going onto the balcony to take it. My once beloved tree copse, with the gravel pathway up to the park. I can’t even walk up it nowadays, let alone through the copse. I shut up on that subject; I’ll only depress myself. These dwellings on the left are behind the copse. This is the result of a day pouch emptying session. There were bits floating in it, bits that resembled thin bits of cotton wool. Bits of my prostate. I presume that the Finasteride has been killing me off for the past 18 months since the Specialist told the Doctor to put me on it… for 4 weeks! But I suspect that I got it all wrong and mixed up. I’m jolly-well good at doing that… along with forgetting things and coping with toothache & earache while the other ailments carry on as if nothing new has happened. No, I’m not sure what the heck I’m talking about, either. An old photo here on the right had my moustache on. Hehe! Made the second and last m ug of tea permitted. I’m just not with it today. Now these snaps, again from the balcony. You can tell the sun has got through at last. I took several shots, so I could see the flying duck. I hope you can see it and it isn’t me losing the plot again.
BLANK NUMBER TWO I’m sure I was in the kitchenette, washing the cup. I thhink I was musing on whether to have an early meal or not. What seemed like five minutes later, I was in the junk room sorting stuff out when I returned to reality. Not knowing what I was intending to do, I think I’d moved a load of stuff from the corner and into the middle of the room. Gawd knows why? I moved it back into the corner. A depression was forming, my teeth were hurting, and I felt pissed off about not getting any help over the showerhead problem. A good downer this one is. I was hobbling from room to room, doing nothing in any of them. I went out onto the sunny balcony again to take this photo of the end car park. Then, I sprayed some of the toothache stuff on the teeth and took a painkiller again. It might be these that are causing my out-of-its? The toothache is getting worse now as I get tired. The spray is doing nothing to help like it did earlier on. Or did, is it?
I’ll get the potatoes on, turn off the computer, and take yet another painkiller, Codeine. Might be back in the morning, or even later tonight if the toothache wakes me again. Cheers! Oh, Nurse Hristina just phoned; she is calling in the morning to take the blood for the Warfarin INR level test. Bless her!
Cock-up. Got in a muddle – Super-Seizure, messed things up. Sorry.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – The master phrase to describe things today is not easy to select. I’m so far behind with everything and meandering. I’m losing track, forgetting, and struggling to see and hear things. ‘CONFUSION’ It is already Thursday, and the confusion is still with me. Along with giving way a few times. In fact, when Carer Christopher was visiting Thursday morning, he saved me from a tumble with his quick reactions. Thanks, Chris! The day was full of bafflement, confusion, and an inability to comprehend what was happening. I got weary and tired, and my eyes worsened far earlier than usual today. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Still not good.
Early morning view.
Rubbish readied. This reminded me of the damaged saucepans delivered by Amazon. One had a broken handle end and two dents in another. I can’t be bothered complaining; I’ve enough worries to cope with without this.
Off to the Porcelain Throne. Messy!
The lower legs had thinned, but around the knees, the Cartilages and behind the knees were bloated.
Front rubbish room balcony shot.
Made a mug of tasty Thompson’s Punjana tea. I started the notes and am ready for blog creation.
Within an hour, the eyes began to go double-vision. This was very annoying, as up until then I thought I’d been doing so well. Serves me right; I should have known. Progress after this was painstakingly slow. Mistake-ridden, too!
I think the sky began to darken early.
I had just a ready-made Beef in black bean sauce for the evening’s meal. I had this because it had a use-by date of today. But it was alright. Some leftover sliced bread and a wholemeal roll helped me soak up the black bean sauce. Slurp! I had to disk the white bread when I found some green mould. I washed the pots, carefully not leaving the tap (faucet) running.
I had to give up early on the computer, and my eyes were not up to it. So, I cleared some rubbish into a waste bag and left it near the door for collection.
This I assume, was a snap of the clouds. But it could be anything.
Got down in the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy & dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, Catheter-tube-trapping, recliner. And off into the bliss of sleep…
Carer Israel came in. He gave me the medications. I gave him some treats, and off he went. It seemed to me that ten minutes later, he was back, waking me up. Haha! He removed the diabetic socks and gave me some Peptac and a painkiller (Codeine). Could I get to sleep again this time? No! It was one of those nights that was in a determined, mind-blowing mission to remind myself of all the things I loved but cannot get, enjoy or even do nowadays. He rampaged through my brain non-stop for hours. I got so angry with myself because it was obvious to me that the messages, put-downs, and fears brought to my attention were from myself, or maybe or . Is this the same thing?
It was a horrendous night!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – There was a twinkle in my neighbour’s eye, As she’d taken it out I asked her why, She smiled. I noticed she was tooth-free, Her reply: “I can’t find my hearing aid battery!” I said, Oh, I’ve lost my spectacles, see! We both had a catheter, we couldn’t manually pee, I led her to her flat, smilingly… Told me she’d lost her key… We opened the key-safe, eventually, I went back to flat 73… Could I find it? Not Me! Carer led me to it, and I had a mug of tea!. Hehehe! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Cheers!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Another miserably tormenting day… The SD card threw the pictures away, yet it randomly let a few go through to CorelDraw (which has not frozen yet today). So, here is a very small selection of photos today. For the first time in months, the right ankle started giving way, and Cartilages Choe and Carole were doing this all day. I’ve ordered some snacks, so if the SD loader permits me to do so, I’ll try to get some photos of the order. It feels proper cold this Sunday. The Sun is yet to display. At this moment, I’m feeling down, coughing, sneezing, my eyesight is fading, and I’m grumpy. The only thing that might cheer me up is England beating Spain in the Euro Final. The experts on the telly say it is possible. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Murky wee-wee.
Being depressed, I treated myself to an early cuppa.
Sorted out the waste bins into a bag.
Does this shot I took of the balcony door and Carers chair look to you like it does me, Garth Vader? Hehehe!
Carer arrived. Medications, and he put a sock on my left leg. I got on with the blogging as quickly as I could.
Carer Kim called. A little natter and laugh.
This is the third emptying of the catheter day pouch. It looks a little cloudy. I think there is some sort of something in the jug. Likely a few bits of my prostate. I can’t have much of it left in there? Lost no end of photos again.
I finally posted the Saturday blog and then started on this one. I got up to here, and the food delivery arrived. I’m not getting any comments in? Oh, dearie me!
I’d wanted to get a kip in before the match, but now I have to stay awake in case the food comes and I can’t hear the intercom… Humph! I did think of getting a shave and shower, but that is now out of the possibility zone for two reasons. One: I’d no longer be able to hear the door chime or intercom. Two: I’ve done it again: I left the hot water tap running, so there is no hot water! There are times that I immensely dislike myself.
I shelled some peas, added potatoes, and boiled them. Washing the things up, Carer Kim arrived. (I think you may know what’s coming here). I got back on the computer,
The potatoes and peas had boiled dry. The saucepan had to be thrown away beyond cleaning, and I had no hot water again anyway! I’m not a happy laddie!
Carer Came. My eyesight faded too much while he was here. He checked the replacement chips and pie I was now cooking. The carer pointed out that I’d not put the pie in and did so, taking out of the foil tray, and crumbs went all over the tray oven and floor. I’m not a happy laddie! Now, this meal needs taking out, prepping, and eating. I’m not a happy laddie! I have no time for blogging, and I wanted to get it done before the football match. I’m not a happy laddie! I’m not a happy laddie! If they are on the card, I’ll have to sort the photos in the morning. I finally got the food sorted out. I’m further behind than ever now, and I have the oven, floor, cooking utensils, and pots to clean after eating. I’m not a happy laddie!
Monday Morning Catch-up. The meal-making disaster! . I found this after a short hiatus into the land of a , and smelt the burning coming from the kitchenette. This was my pan of terribly expensive potatoes and garden peas that I had painfully and carefully spent an hour podding and seasoning, only to let burn! I was not a happy laddie! It took me ages to clean up. This had to be done with boiling water in a saucepan because today was the third time I had left the hot tap (faucet) to run cold! Grrr! I suppose my leaving it on a setting of 3 and not on a half for an hour didn’t help. I was not a happy laddie! After much effort was put into cleaning the heavy saucepan I’d burnt, I realised it was futile. I had to throw out the saucepan and lid. The total cost of the food and trying to clean the pan, not counting all the time spent in preparation, must be £30!
And yet, I still felt England would not win the Euro final; my EQ just knew.
This later turned out to be true. However, I was proud of England’s effort. Although Spain was the better team from the start, England did not give up. They did their best, which is all we could ask. I hope there is no more call for the England manager to resign. Getting England to the final was a victory, so we used up all our good luck. Gareth Southgate’s team has done so much better overall. But England’s 58 years of pain and disappointment in competition finals continue.
I had to make another meal. Not that thought I’d enjoy it. But I did. Bar the cement-like rock-hard bad-teeth-breaking beetroot, of course. I’m not a happy laddie!
While washing the pots, I decided to make a sign in the morning and put it on the kitchen wall behind the sink: DO NOT LEAVE ANY TAPS RUNNING! I bet that I forget to! I got Kodak Tim & took these blotchy photos of the view that was on offer. Nice!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – May your essence of life be pleasant!
(Starting this blog, Tuesday Morning) The day of the one-eyed Inchy! Actually, Tuesday was as well. All day long, things were out of sync. My eyesight and hearing were not good, and I could not hear the intercom, door chime, or fire alarm activation. Cartilages Chloe and Carole were having a ball, freely issuing me pain at a whim. Both gave way a few times, but not at the wrong time, so no crumbling to the floor. Haha! (I imagine they would have been disappointed in this). And must have thought they deserved to win the prize for the ‘Bestest-Inchy-Brain-Interferers’ of the day. But that dubious honour was granted to , with a mention in despatches for & . The ankle ulcers and were both much kinder to me today. I’m really not sure if I was having , , repeatedly falling asleep, or a combination of the three. But little got done that I set out to do. I felt so lacklustre. Memory promoting from photos from here on. The urine colour was not too bad later on.
Off to the . Messy! The Asda order arrived. I handed some boxes and bags to the deliveryman, who kindly filled them for me at the door. Then I carted them to the kitchenette, putting the things away in storage, the freezer, the fridge, the cupboards, the floor, and the junk room. I took some Kodak Tim photographs along the way. This selection had a bottle of disinfectant (Lemon), bleach, and washing-up liquid. Here, I have a Milk Roll, sliced bread, kitchen towels, bicarbonate of soda, soda water, and some of the economy kitchen towels, which I use to clean my spectacles, hearing aids, and cough into. Thick-skinned red potatoes are used to make baked spuds. Small fresh tomatoes and quick to cook potato cakes. A ready-made feast of cooked meals. Lamb Hotpot, Jamaican patties, Cumberland pie, and a sweet & sour battered balls meal. I’m not going to starve! Hehehe! I must have ordered the wrong milk. It’s rare for me to get something wrong with food orders; this hardly ever happens. Ahem! Later, I tried this organic whole fresh milk. It was nothing special, but it was perfectly edible. My buying it again is not liable. There was still room free in the fridge after packing everything into it. Made a diversion to the wet room. For another of the visits. This time, in control, but only just this time. I sensed a possible resurgence underway from . After noting the lack of any post-evacuation rumbling and grumbling from the innards, I made this decision.
A series of mini s, all through the afternoon, broke my already fragile concentration.
The drizzle stopped and the grey skies turned a lovely blue hue. Unfortunately, the blotches were still on the Kodak Tim snaps. Humph! It looked to me, as the right ankle ulcer covered with the compression wrapping was doing better. That was because the wanting to scratch at the itching had returned. On the other foot, it looked like that ulcer was brewing up to do a bursting out. I can’t win. I dread the thought of having to walk with both ankles erupting and both Cartilages giving me grief. I’ll never be able to get to the surgery, clinic or hospital. Thinking this gave me a dread of having to use a wheelchair. Please, I hope not!
I took this evening’s snap from the kitchen window and then worked out my plans for the daily meal. The ready-made meal with the shortest sell-by date was the Lamb Hotpot. I got some frozen potato chunks cooking in the oven. I checked the timing for the hotpot, and it was six minutes in the microwave. I got some lamb gravy ready to mix. Then retired to the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop recliner, to watch the end of the ‘Heartbeat’ programme. as the first adverts came on the screen. Waking up in response to a giant whole-body-twitch and jump! I recalled a bit of a dream I had been having. It involved me and Grizelda in mutual contact! So, say no more! Then I smelled the potatoes cooking in the oven… Ien route to the kitchenette, hit my shoulder on the edge of the door frame when I entered the kitchen. I found that the potatoes needed a little extra time to get them as I like them. Very well singed! So I put the meal in the microwave, and as the microwave pinged, I took the potatoes out of the oven. I acquired the standard burnt finger on the oven racking. (I Germolened it.)Then I made some Germolene-flavoured Bisto lamb gravy, adding a drop of Winiary Przyprawa seasoning into the mix. Then, put the potatoes into the bowl, and poured the gravy over them. Followed by scrapping the lamb hotpot contents out of the tray on top. What an absolute feast of a meal this was! It just may have been the flavour of the Germolene that gave it an extra tang? Hehehe! I had a pot of mandarins in jelly to round off the meal. Passed wind, bleached and drifted of into another mind-blank or sleep. Woke up to find the food tray had fallen, leaving crumbs and gravy all over my new nightshirt, my legs, bandages and the carpet. I had to change my attire. Carer Chris arrived and laughed when he saw the T-shirt that Sister Jane bought me a few years ago. He took a Kodak Tim snap of it and then of the sun setting from the balcony windows. It was so sad to see so many new blotches in the Horizon pictures, sob!
It was good of Chris to take the piccies for me, all the same.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – May your plans not get stunted, Nor your valuables get hunted, May your problems be ameliorated, Your hopes do not get frustrated. That your sanity can be corroborated, Your computer doesn’t get corrupted, And your dreams will not be interrupted! May good fortune be indicated! May your problems be quadrated!
Unknown why I took this. I can’t recall taking it.
Morning.
Taken seconds before the tumble. Struggled to get the slippers on. You can see the loose carpet I slipped on seconds later between the slippers.
Waste sorted.
Bootiful!
Food delivery. 4 Frazzles were ordered and charged for, and 2 arrived.
Football Match. Seizure.
Taken to the right. Taken to the left, both from the kitchen.
Still kaki, almost cube-shaped. Had to patch up the compression dressing, then do the usual medicationings, olive oiled the wears, and Germoloided the haemorrhoids. Acne and Barrier creams were applied. Had a struggle to get the PPs on today. And getting the Phorpain Gel on; It was as painful as it had ever been. Talk about making myself jump, which, of course, got the Cartilages playing up. With the compression tackle on the right leg, I can no longer use Phorpain to ease the agony. Hehehe! So, more painkillers were taken. At least getting dressed was not so bad; it was just the long pullover nightshirt. The carer arrived and got the one odd bamboo diabetic sock and slippers on for me.
Fantastic sun rays are coming through the cloud to the right of the balcony. Had the alien invasion started? Hahaha!
Lamburgers with sliced tomatoes in sourdough rolls, & a can of carrots & peas were cooked and served up. A pot of mandarin segments in orange jelly was the day’s dessert.
What a great hue later on! A Pareidoliaising Delight! Heads, eyes, animals, Great!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – From here on, this blog will be sparse… very much so. For my eyesight and memory seemed to go off so much earlier today. Having less than 2 hours of sleep did not help. Finding no logical reason for this irked me a smidgeon. I slowly got a lot more tired earlier today. Then, the double vision started. Shame really. But the nurse came and rebandaged the leg and ankle. The wound on spouted out with a flourish of thick, deep red fluids when the nurse took off the sealing pad. She was not pleased with that. She noticed the bruise on my chin, and I explained my Non-Epilectic Seizure and told her how I could not recall going into the wetroom and did not even know I’d taken a tumble or if I’d passed out or not. I just came around mangled in the shower chair with a bleeding gum, broken tooth, sore chin and a headache. She said for me to ring my doctor and her. I’ve gone out of sync again.
I did not put the night pouch on last night, so heap-geep-coloured urine was in the nearly full-day day pouch.
My eyesight seemed pretty decent when I started writing the blog. But it faded quicker than usual.
Carer Maryham arrived, concerned about my looking so pale, and asked about the scar on my chin. I told her what had happened in my usual wit-interposed way. I got a good laugh back, which was my design. Hehehe! Maryham was concerned for me. Which was nice.
I watched a bit of TV for a while, including election results.
The trip to the wet room was a painful one. I thought yesterday’s was, but this was even worse.
!!! The computer froze. Then I got a message telling me things were being auto-mended. It was at it for two hours. I feared this was the end!
The District Nurse arrived. I was unhappy with the ulcer wound’s not healing at all. She also asked about the bruise on my chin, and I launched into a humorous explanation: ‘Ring your doctor!’
The computer was turned off because everything had frozen again. I was at a low ebb now.
Carer Kim came. We went through the same process, but I got a more significant response this time. Kim laughed so much. ‘Ring your doctor!’
. Amazing clouds as I made a brew of tea. Then, the eyes finally got too bad, and I was about to pack up and restart in the morning, and Carer Chris came. He medicated me and had to nip off. He was busy but looked so tired. Bless him. I got some potatoes in the oven and then closed down the computer. Boy, was I tired! For some reason, as I was cooking, my mind went back to Rationing. Many years ago, when I was on a fishing holiday with Bill, Malcolm and Jock, we had just arrived at Lockerbie in Scotland. I was backing the van into the car park, and Bill, a butcher, said out of the blue, “I wish they would bring rationing back; I made a fortune with all the fiddles…” It’s funny how I can recall this clearly, but I’d forgotten what I had planned earlier to have for my meal tonight. I think it was lamb burgers, but I found a short-dated vegan pie and had that. I forgot to add the garden peas. The potatoes were grand, but the vegan pie was not so good, although the gravy was absolutely delicious!
Cleaned the pots and back to the £300 second-hand shop bought, c1966 made. Moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly-beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not working recliner. And spotted the scene outside of the sunset. I thought I’d nip onto the balcony and take a Kodak Tim of it, which I did. Lens blotches included.
It was well past midnight before he let me into his world, a world that I was forced torn from by one of the longest-ever leg climbing I’ve had since they started three months or so ago. After which the ulcer emitted short, sharp, shocks, every ten-minutes it felt like, for the rest of the night. had returned with a certain degree of nastiness and persistence.
My reception of perception and my gleaning grasp of reality can often depend on my success at freeing apprehension and the degree of the morning’s abjections; thus, how I’m coping with Doreen Dementia’s aberrations and complications. I didn’t do this very well this morning. I stirred into ersatz semi-life and awaited the brain to catch me up. It took its time. I couldn’t guarantee that I had not snuffed it, was in a coma, seizure, mind-blank or was still asleep at first. Suddenly, whatever state of existence I was in didn’t matter or bother me much. Not when I painfully got the legs out of bed and trod on the fallen-on-the-floor bed movement controller. This made me jump a little, and I uttered a few oaths and naughty words. Then, I stubbed my ingrowing toenail against the bed leg, and , hit .
It felt like I’d been up and gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson, and I’d only been up for five minutes! Got the night pouch off. Back to a deep colour today. Then I hobbled off to the wet room.
Trotsky Terence ruled the evacuation again. Then I started the ablutions: putting my eggs, feet, and left foot in a bowl of soapy water while I shaved. The bandages on the right foot. Does it mean I have to go with one foot stinking until the nurse arrives on Monday, or was it Tuesday? Then the medicalisationing needed to be done. I still can’t find the underarm cream. All the other areas’ usual ointmentating was done. Earholes were Olive Oiled, etc.
Carer Christopher arrived. He didn’t look or sound like his usual self. I asked him if things were okay, and he replied negatively. He’s not saying anything, but I’ll cheer him up later.
I got the bag of waste made up, and took it to the door for collection..
On with the blogging. It was a hard slog! Errors galore, and I’m sure I missed some corrections that needed to be made. Tsk!
Care Kara arrived—what a gem she is. She checked the catheter pouch for me, and Kara looked for the missing cream for the underarms but had no luck. Then, although embarrassing, she put some barrier cream on my testicle area for me. After the gal left, I’m sure I had a Mind-Blank or one of them. I’ll explain, but I am not sure of this.
I was working on the graphics on CorelDraw. I’m sure I’d just made a mistake on the Horoscope one and felt annoyed with myself. It felt like seconds later, I found myself in the wet room on the floor, half over the shower chair. Without the foggiest memory of tumbling or even going into the room! As I crawled on all fours, annoying the Cartilage girls, to the recliner to use to haul my ginormously bellied body back upright on my feet, I realised I had a headache, toothache, and a tiny scratch or bruise on my chin. After another battle to get upright, I took a Codeine. I shelled the pod peas for tonight or possibly the morning’s nosh. I’m so far behind again.
Here are cloud photos taken over the day.
I think I had another out-of-it episode as Carer Christopher left for his next call. This time, I clearly recall him helping me sort out water that had appeared in the bottom drawer of the fridge. I spotted it while getting a cold drink to cheer him up. But not much else, I’m afraid.
We’ve had no rain, so it was a bit of a surprise when I saw the mudslide at the end of the car park. Who knows?
I got distracted when I saw an article on FND while searching on Google.
PN vs. MS vs. FND
Neuropathy is often classified into four broad categories: Autonomic, proximal, focal, and peripheral. Peripheral Neuropathy is the most common, impacting 7 in 10 diabetics, amongst others. PN is often mistaken for another common illness, multiple sclerosis (MS). To better understand the distinction between those diseases: PN or Peripheral Neuropathy– Part of the reason it is not always easy to identify PN is simply how diverse the condition is. According to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS), there are more than 100 different types of Peripheral Neuropathy alone. However, the various strains of PN are all related, all involving some peripheral nervous system damage – meaning issues with the nerves outside the brain and spinal cord. Symptoms are often felt in the hands, feet, or lower legs. Numbness, pain, and other abnormal sensations are experienced as the peripheral nerves stop working correctly. Patients who have suffered for a long time with PN, mainly if it is advanced, may experience muscular weakness. People with FND Functional Neurological Disorder and Neuropathic Diabetics often complain of difficulty moving. They may feel slowed down or find they cannot move part of their body or grip with a hand. They often complain that their limbs do not seem to do what I want. Some people may get extra involuntary movements such as twitches or tremors. Often complain of difficulty moving. They often complain that their limbs do not seem to do what they want. Some people may get extra involuntary movements such as twitches or tremors. I currently have Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, Twitching-Neck-Nicolas, Peripheral Pete’s Right Leg Dances, Shaking Shaun, Stuttering Stephanie, & others. Please read this, Doctor, Please! I can safely say I have all of the above symptoms!
It is late now, so answering comments and viewing the WordPress Reader is better. Then, get something to eat.
Morning: Catch up on this blog. A simple supper for a simple man. Just baked potatoes with no butter, butter and the last of the podded fresh peas.
A lemon and cream dessert to follow, ‘Lovely!’ I washed the pots and took this Kodak Tim shot of the almost awesome evening view from the kitchenette window.
Toothache Tiffany kicked off as I climbed into the bed. Sleep was not an option.
Not due to , nor as far as I could tell, . No specific reason at all, but I just could not nod off! After nearly two hours of failed sleep-searching, I got up. I sat in the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner.
Even with my legs up on the chair, the ankle & leg electric shocks didn’t bother me. The right leg ulcer under the compression bandaging did, though. Yet, no electric shocks confused me. Watching the progressing election results on the TV, after an hour or so, burst into activity. And as I write this in the morning, she has not stopped. Bless Her!
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Labour wins the election, as you can see, mainly due to the Conservatives’ incompetency.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I considered sending this code below to the Tate Gallery or the Retired Gaslamp Street-Lighters & Snuffers Association Nursery. The Poets Association at Oil Drum Lane in Bradford. I think it may make me famous as an Odeist? Maybe to the Times, Guardian or the Sun sign me up for a weekly ode column? Hehehe! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – This reminds me that I’ve still not found my wristwatch!
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0410hrs: I got up early because I couldn’t sleep. Well, I did, for ,and even were taking turns in taking me up. So I got up. Grumblingly! But the last three days have taught me something. Well, a few things. ) 1) My eyes are not so bad in the morning but slowly worsen as the day develops. 2) I have to get up early to complete the ablutions, and I struggle with the evacuation. 3) To get my balance exercises done. 4) I seem to get most of the worrying s in the afternoons. And number 5) For the last two days, I’ve developed a new brand of episodes, especially today. Dennis used to affect me all over, including prompting … this version, affects only the top of my head, which is puzzling me. It came on at least a dozen times today, but they are always in the morning? Was here when I had three of them! , one, she said I went white for a moment or two. They have not been lasting long, though. Haven’t come up with a name for them yet, but I will do. Luckily, I got up early because I was not much use by the afternoon. I ended up getting into bed again, but no sooner had I nodded off I was woken up again as arrived. A nice lad. I finished the introductory graphics as soon as I finished doing the ablutions. I took some photos but not many; everything was taking too long with the eyes worsening. The were doing a good job. Naturally, joined in the pain-giving. I’m waffling again…
Lovely light colour this morning. Wet room duties. I’ve misplaced the underarm ointment the doctor gave me. The Hi-Pressure Compression padding is holding up well. After tooth cleaning (I spent more time trying to find the few I have left than cleaning them, Haha!), washing & shaving. Could I find the alert wristbands and panic alarm I’d taken off an hour and a half earlier when I entered the wet room? No! Well, not until I gave up searching and saw that I’d hung them over the handle of I did feel like a proper fool!
I got on the computer after taking the above snap… I can’t remember why I took it, or even taking it, but it was on the SD card when I got to putting them on the computer.
Carer Kara arrived and looked after me kindly and efficiently. She got one diabetic sock on my left leg, and the right leg did not need a sock, as it had Heavy Compression Bandaging. Medications were given, and she said she’d be back later. ♥
My eyes worsened when Carer Kim ♥ arrived to do a domestic stint. She mopped the kitchen wet room and hoovered around for me.
I’d finished the top graphics, and Carer Kara returned to do the financial business. She is good at it. I had no idea what was going on as she checked the emails and letter from the bank. She’s like lighting, and with my eyes failing, I could not follow her. She told me nothing to worry about. Then she went to the bank site to check things on that. The same result, bless her. She checked the catheter bag for me.
I made a small meal.
Belatedly, I sorted the waste bags
Then I had to stop on the computer. My eyes were bad, and a tiredness of almost viciousness forced me onto the bed. But sleep was denied yet again. The dressing gown was delivered. As I was climbing into the bed, arrived. He issued the medications, and I let him pick some nibbles and drinkie of his choice. I put on the new lightweight dressing gown. I posed, asking Israel to take a photo of his overweight, bald, apparently one-legged, deaf, vision suffering, rotten teethed, Colin Cramp-Ridden, Vascular Dementia suffering, Cartilage pained, deaf, Reflux Rogered, Duodenal Donald Ulcered, Bleeding Haemorrhoided, Fungal Lesion Bleeding, coping with Cognitive Impairment Iris, client, with his Boil-on-bum, to take a photo. Which the lad did for me. I took a snap of him with his permission. A nice, friendly bloke.
Took a photo of the rain.
I got back on this blog, but not for long. There were mistake after error, and my eyes were not good. Back to bed, I thought… I stopped to take this shot of the night sky first.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – So many distractions affected me today. Plus, several mind-blanks or seizures. The nurse thought it may be being caused by diabetic vascular disease, one which is apparently Vascular Dementia? The moment a few pais ease off, I nod off! On the computer, on the toilet, washing the pots… I gear this urge to drop off anywhere at any time. Then, the blanks begin. I lost two hours this afternoon. I wasn’t asleep cause when I came around, as to put it, I’d been busy writing gibberish on this blog. Took me another hour to make this readable. Glad I did the Ode earlier than usual; I’d hate to (moss) miss that off.
Grammarly repeatedly came to the rescue. But it missed one error, two lines up: “I’d hate to moss that off.”
The attention of , have really made me steel my pain resistance skills. (I failed). Codeines overtaken. Which is probably another reason for my desire to nod off?
&
Almost crippled me with pain today.
Too many followed.
I got a little done but eventually got the above items on.
First-day pouch emptying result.
Balcony view.
Everything bar the pork pie tasted horrible.
Carers Christopher, Joanne, and Israel called. I was, at times, in so much pain that I forgot things before I said them. Joke!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – THE BIG SEIZURE
I’d just finished the Health graphic. I recall realising that I’d made a cock-up on it… Seemingly, the next moment, I was sitting talking to Carer Joanne, who was talking to me, but I had no idea what it was about. So it must have been hours later.
When she departed, after medicating me. During this period, I was, for some silly reason, surprised at the pain I was in?
Then, I simply sort of drifted back into the freeze.
I’m not sure the Doctor believes me about these drift-offs I keep getting. These are part of the same problem the elderly lady had, whom I chatted with at the Audio Clinic last year. She told me it was two years before they recognised she had FND.
These are all photos that Carer Chris rescued for me. I don’t know when they were taken, apart from the Pidgeon one I took months ago when I went to the Diabetic Clinic, but I couldn’t hear or see enough to gain any help or knowledge.
Probably taken from the kitchen window.
I’m unsure if I may have retaken this one without the SD card in and published it in the blog earlier.
I was standing on the old bridge to the railway and now the tram station. Feeding the little mites.
I may have made yet another cock-up here. I could possibly have copied and used this one ages ago. I think I did!
Well, fancy that. Me, making a mistake? Hehehe! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Ensured any sleep would not last for over 5 minutes, as she electrocuted me repeatedly all night. I soon nodded back off, though. It got a little persistent a couple of times, and I went to take a Kodak Tim night shot.
Then, an hour or so later...
Another.
It’s been one of my worst nights of sleep all year… so far! But I’m not complaining… well, yes I am. It was definitely one of my worst nights so far this year. I was thinking of going back on the beer. But knew that would make me feel more confused & queer.
Worra Day! Afraid these events are out of sync chronologically. You’ll notice the part-shaved moustache. This is on here because… Wait for it!… Today, Carer Chris learnt how to access the Kodak Tim memory for me. He transferred the ‘lost’ photos to the SD card! So, some old/new Kodak Tim pictures will be added to the blog over the next few days. This is the first one. I took it as I was in mid-shaving cause I thought it was funny. Not bad for a selfie. As I recall, I got the dressing gown on to fetch Kodak Tim and took this snap without the SD card in it. So it was a while ago cause the memory had been packed for weeks. Hehehe!
The District Nurse arrived, doing a great job with the ankle and leg. Compression bandages (I think she put them on) help to stop the oedema fluid from flowing freely from your legs. She also warned me that they would get tight and may cause too much pain for Burnt Ulcer Ulrich and/or Lymphorrhea Leslie’s Leaking Leg. I was to ring them if it starts leaking through. The Nurse or another one will call on Tuesday to check things out. I was appreciative and well pleased with her care for me.
I was disappointed with getting the five cuts while shaving, but the good stuff far outweighed that. And I’ve not mentioned the late Accifauxpas yet. I’ll tell you later. A delivery of nibbles has just arrived, along with Carer Joanne bringing in a letter from the bank; that’s one for Carer Kara there.
05:00 hrs, I stirred. I got the night pouch detached, then bounded out of the bed, doing a double flip as I leapt over the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy & dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, Catheter-tube-trapping, recliner, and disome toe-touches and press-ups… You’re not believing this, are you? I don’t blame you! I’ll start again…
05:00 hrs, I stirred. I got the night pouch detached. Then, I fumbled painfully out of bed, resistantly, uneagerly, slowly, and due to the need for the Porcelain Throne, thus, under compulsion of necessity. En route to the Porcelain Throne, I gleaned that both and her fellow ailment , were both building up to give me some terrible torture today. I was not wrong, as I discovered later. I on the wetroom door edge, going in. Then, the great wait began! I had a go at the crossword book long enough to realise I would not get any further with this puzzle, so I moved to start another one. I couldn’t even get a start on this page. So, I counted the cracks on the wet room ceiling, 23 today, but I can’t be sure about the state of my eyesight. The painful part-extruding concrete torpedo seemed to have stopped, and I did not show any response to my frantic physical urging it to move on. I had another go at the original crossword and solved some clues. I may have discovered a way to do better with the daily crossword efforts; I seem to get a few when I’m in pain? Gobsmackingly and slowly, the motion moved, with minimal bleeding, considering the almost cube-shaped concrete lumps that had evacuated. I only had a quick wash because the blog was calling to remind me how far behind I was on yesterday’s issue.
I took these three blotchy Kodak Tim photos of the morning view to the left, then the right, and ahead, but not in that order.
Then, I continued trying to catch up with the blogging.
Her persistent attention annoyed me, and the cartilages wanted to give way each time I moved, which was not very often.
Sorted out the three waste bags into one.
I got two potatoes out, intending to cook them early today. But my plans were scuppered when I forgot about the Nurse coming to do the leg and ankletoday. I got on with blogging, but it was a difficult time. Mind blanks, eyesight making things more demanding, and a couple of Seizures had me in the right state, confused! I nipped to the kitchenette a few times to break the frustrations.
I took these three wonderful cloud views over maybe the next three hours. Very close and warm today.
I had a bag of seaweed crisps; they were tasty but costly. I’m back blogging and feeling a little better.
I meandered into the wet room to get my belated ablutions tended to. I got the shaving done (2 tiny cuts) and a Body wash. I couldn’t have a shower with the leg being wrapped up. It was the Midwife—no, I meant the District Nurse. I snapped the leg as it looked just before she got here. She saw me in the wet room and went to do someone else in the flats while I finished the medicationings and got some pants on. I thought that was a good idea. I recall that the Nurse had been a lovely, well-built piece of the NHS—Haha! A lovely lady. As she was midway through sorting the leg out, Carers Chris and Ayu arrived. We all seemed to have a laugh and most pleasing chinwag as the Nurse did the job for me. Bless her.
Chris took a photo of the newly designed and tended-to leg and ankle and helped me get into the slippers. The bleeding, spouting, bruised legs now have a ‘cap’ on the ulcer and lesion burn and a swath of padded compression bandages. Much more comfortable than the plaster pad thing was. This soon altered! And with just haven’t stopped stinging at me. These ailments ruined my sleep again; I spent more time awake than asleep overnight. Here are some of the recovered snaps that Carer Chris accessed for me. These were from yesterday, I think. Carer Chris crept in while I was preparing the meal, cunningly grabbed Kodak and snapped all these shots of the flat’s chef (me, Haha!). He got a little carried away when he was taking them.
He caught me well, as he took them without a flash, and I didn’t notice he was here. Thanks to Cataract Katie, Glaucoma Gladys, Deaf-Duncan, and Peripheral Neuropathy Pete, I was oblivious to Chris even being in the flat. I didn’t half-jump when I finally noticed him. Ha-ha! Chris’s smug smile and laughter were worth seeing as he roared, ‘I Gotcha!’ He did, too! Chris said I looked like someone doing a brain operation and was concentrating hard as I sliced the potatoes and added them. The above shows the resulting 8/10-rated meal. I was so in pain and tired I made do with baked spuds and vegan sausages. This is a retrieved snap from the Kodak Tim memory. I think it was Tuesday’s or Wednesday’s meal.
, , with to give me terrible hassle overnight pain-wise. I had to use two walking sticks in the morning, temporarily.
