Harold’s Haemorrhoids – Page 58

Inchcock Today: Intruder Yobboes In The Flat! Sunday 17th April 2022

THE INCIDENTS…

The door chime rang out, but not for the usual length of time? I thought I must have dreamt it, going into and out of wakefulness. A minute later, the chime rang again! I got up and went to the door and looked through the spy-hole – the motion detector light in the lobby was lit! I remembered the note about youths gaining access to the flats through a fire escape door and going around the block, pressing door buzzers and bells, and trying doors! I think it must have been them! Now I was nervous, so sleep was out of the question.

And later, the buzzer went again; I put the light on and heard the door closing noisily! Shit!

I checked, and the lobby light was on again, so someone had been there. I suspect the youths rampaging again, and this time they were coming into the flat with no doubt nefarious criminal intentions. But with me putting the light on so quickly, it must have surprised them. I heard a voice saying what sounded like ‘Scram! and shadows from the lobby light as they shot off.

I shall have to report this to Warden Deana in the morning… oh, it is morning now. When the wardens arrive at about 09:00hrs.

I am a fool! It is the weekend now. There are no wardens on duty Saturdays and Sundays or evenings. I’ll have to find the Nottingham City Homes control room number and let them know.

I’m a little apprehensive and twitchy now. I bet the scumballs will be back again tonight? Clapthunder!

As I lay there fretting, I passed wind and made a mess in the Protection Pants to make things worse! Good job that I’ve got plenty in stock. Cause this happened again later! Trotsky Terence was in charge.

The evacuation started and ended before I got down onto the plastic seat! Virtually liquid. What few shreds of solids were a khaki colour, with yellow liquid. The stomach ached and was rumbling throughout. What had I eaten that could have caused this?

I washed, shaved, the teeth were done, olive oiled the ears, Germoloided Harold’s Haemorrhoids, and put the eye drops in (some of the drops actually getting into the eyes!). New PP’s adorned. Changed into the day clothes, and I put the kettle on. Took a Galpharm capsule and a Co-codamol for the tummy pains.

Later on Sunday, I worked on this blog then, the Morning Carer arrived and sorted the medications for me.

I tried to find the number to report the incidents to Nottingham City Homes, but the number was only for Mon to Friday. I mentioned this worry, on the Winwood Heights Facebook page, hoping there may be another number to use. No answer, but it’s only 10:30hrs yet.

Then thought, I’ll report it on the non-emergency police number 101. A fat lot of good that was!

I was getting into a right state, mentally. I rang the 111 NHS number by mistake!

I carefully dialled the 101 digits: The first recorder voice I could hear clearly and got my hopes up. I had to press for Derby or Nottingham Police, which I did. I got a female squeaky to my ears to understand the recorded message.

Farcical! I’d no chance of understanding what was said. So, I had to give up on that, too! People with hearing, sight, and dementia problems are lost in the ether of evolutional methods of contacting anyone for help.

Much as I don’t feel safe locking the door, just in case of another stroke or bad tumble… I do not want the yobs getting into the flat again… Do I lock the door or not?

Not one of my better day endings!

Sunset Thoughts In Odes

“Oy, Inchie…

“Wot?”

“Wot yer doin’ then?”

“Watchin’ the sunset!”

“Wot for? It ‘appens every night, yer burke?”

“I know it does, yer grumpy git! I photograph it most nights yer know…”

“I know that I am a part of yer ain’t I?”

“Then why ask me wot I’m doing then? You drive me to my homebrew, Ooh!”

“I dunno, just to piss you off, I suppose!”

“Sarcasm from you always flows…”

“Do you know, we’re talking in prose?”

“Go on then, let’s keep it up, see how it goes?

“The Carer will be here soon, let’s see who loses the odeing, you know?

“Just look at how the dying sun still glows..”

“I bet you’d get a better pattern as a Filipino?”

“I hear out there, they drink cappuccino?”.

“Do you like Pizzas from Domino?”

“What’s that got to do with the Ode, dumbo?

“Sod-all, you’ll soon be back on the Vino…”

“You’re in a barmy-mood? Why don’t you just go?

Cause I also want to see the sun’s dying glow!”

“I’m not having that; you a naturist? No, no, no!”

“That’s not nice, do yer want your blood to flow?”

“Ah, but you can’t hurt me physically, though!”

“Not my style, but I can send you loco!”

“Ha! I’m already bonkers; you’re too slow!”

“You are a saddo, fatso, and have no gusto!”

“Go on knob-end, tell me summat I didn’t know!”

“Well, the sun’s beginning to go…!

“I wish you would go; you damage my ego!”

“Why do you have to live on the 12th-floor in Council flats? Can’t you afford a bungalow?”

“Leave me alone. You’re always digging at me; you’re making my anger grow…”

“In the flat, it must be like the Alamo! Waiting for death, in agony, another coffin-seeking Bozo!”

“The Alamo? Well, my life seems to be connected like an imbroglio…”

That much, I understand and know…

“I don’t get out much, so?”

“With your luck, if you did, someone would stab you with a stiletto…”

“Or you stay-in, and old father time will soon say, time for you to go, cheerio!…”

“You being a defeatist would mumble, Righteo!”

“You may even ask him, is there time for one last bacon sarnie, with sourdough?”

“Have yer done? Taking the piss and having your fun?

“Aha! Pillock that didn’t rhyme. I’ve won again, I’ve won!

“Rollocks!”

Part of the Inchies Make Them Laugh-In Ode, Series

Inchcock Today: Diary – Sunday 6th March 2022

Ode To Worry…

What’s lurking, waiting, for me to be worried?
Dementia Doreen is to be considered…
Cataracts, slowly my sight will get hid…
A world war? I bet Putin’s well-bunkered
Going deaf too… that would be horrid…
Peripheral Neuropathy, that’s got to be feared!
The falls dizzies it causes has me well wearied…
My memory loses, leaving even me bewildered…
But worry in itself is not to be cheered…
Getting through each day, things need to be altered,
I’ve taken it well, I think, not been a craven coward…
Luckily life’s been crap, so I’m not too bothered…
But what really annoys me… is the computer’s buggered!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

I stirred from my slumber, almost in a nonchalant mood? I worked out what day to was, and would usually have Thought-Storms, worries, fears, on my waking up – But not this morning! I felt in a laid-back sort of mood, which is something preciously rare for me. I can’t remember the last time they were absent when I was recovering consciousness.

There are the last two days even more amazing happenings. I’d not been worrying about anything at all, taking everything in my stride, even when I had all the bother with the computer… I basically thought, ‘Well sod-it! If it goes, it goes!’ I can’t be bothered with all this worrying, sod-it. Sod-it, sod-it! I knew it couldn’t last! But things are getting back to my usual worry-guts mode again.

Had a wee-wee, made a mug of Glengettie tea, and onto the computer… The Crabnabbed computer, which had had a dreaded windows update, would not let me get any photos recognised again! This really got to me. It confirmed the return on fretting and frustration were fermenting again! Took a picture of the end car park. If the computer lets me, I’ll have to add it later on, fingers crossed.

The innards gave off a rumbling, squelching sound. I decided to get the ablutions done while I was in there. No thought was given to the can of beans I’d just taken out of soaking and into the saucepan with some chilli seasoning – it may as well not have happened as my mind was concentrating on an injury-free wash and shave! Which very nearly happened. Nae bother with the nasal clearing, teeth-cleaning or shaving… not a single cut!

I felt somewhat cocky as I left the wet room, which will probably account for how I managed to get the walking stick entangled in the stand-up clothes airer; we both ended up on the floor in the hallway! I had to go on my hands and knees into the front room, and I used the rickety recliner to get back on my feet. But, no injuries, other than a knock on the elbow. Even Cartilage Cathy didn’t complain when I clunked down on the knee? It’s a funny old life, innit?

I suddenly remembered the beans in the pan! Like a greyhound out of the trap, I hastened to the kitchenette – well, I hobbled fairly quickly! All was well with the bean medley… I’d not turned the heat on! What a Plonka! So, I turned the heat on.

Carer Pricella arrived. A pretty sweet thing, she was made most welcome. She soon had the medications sorted. She kindly gave me a couple of minutes of waffling time and took the bags with her to the chute for me on her way out! 💜

I did the blogging in between nipping in to assess Josies’ meal. Managed to get some photos uploaded, but again, not all of them. Grungleturds! Got the WP comments were replied to and posted yesterday’s blog off.

I tended full time to prepping Josies’ nosh then.

Hope she likes this recipe. Chilli bean stew with extra beef, seasoned with the usual selection but added some black bean sauce, not a lot. The standard side treats and gin.

I proudly delivered Josies’ meal to her door, with an extra pot she could have later on.

I arrived a the prearranged time of between 5 to twelve and five past.

Josie was looking alright and up for a chinwag… well, more like an interrogation of what’s in the bowl. Hehehe! ♥

Then I concentrated on getting this blog started. After five hours, it still wasn’t anywhere near finished. Humph! Dementia Doreen, Cataract Cathy and Peripheral Neuropathy Pete made sure that my progress was so slow and error-ridden!

The day’s gone again? What happened? Hehe!

I’d better get my nosh sorted. Battered fish with chilli, BBQ chips and a can of garden peas, methinks… but anything could happen. Better get a move on, or the Carer might get here while I’m scoffing.

Dingledick! Again I forgot about adding the peas I’d left in the saucepan! I wondered why I’d got all that room to add the sauce on the plate. Anyroad up, I liked the mild chill flavour of the battered fish. Nice! Washed the pots, had a wee-wee, and I got done in the c1969 recliner. Put the TV on, and fell into a deep, deep sleep. Zzz!

Sunset photo’s

Beautiful set of sunset photos produced,
Admiration of nature induced,
Forgot about my traumatologist…
Appointments that I’d missed…
But I must call my audiologist.

As photos go, they’re not my shabbiest.
Possibly, even some of my best?
Worries were temporarily dismissed…
My Thought-Storms were vanquished,
Natures changing colours; inspirationist,
I thought I heard a harpsichordist!

I hope to see my ophthalmologist…
Cause not seeing-well makes me pissed!
Not suitable for a photographist…
My ailments thoughts were intensive…
But, these photos were recompensive,
After a day of being at my crankiest,
A few moments at my blessedest! ♥

This Ode wrote by Inchie, Who is old!

Carer Julia came in; I didn’t hear the chimes, the ears are getting worse?

I can’t remember much at all about Angel Julia’s visitation. I wasn’t really with it much, still partly asleep, methinks. That is not normal for me cause I love this gal and her helpful, patient ways. I can recall going with Julia to the front door, but that’s about it. Another mystery?

Getting back off to sleep was not easy, as tired as I was. I put the TV back on; that did the trick. I wish I’d tried that earlier than I did now.

Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

Inchcock Today: Thursday Theatrics

Thursday Theatrics

Morning Thoughts In Ode

For joy or success, I can only pray…
After the daymare, called Wednesday,
It all went ape-shit after midday,
Full of decay, disarray, and dismay,
But it is, after all, now a Thursday…
I expect sorrow or deprecation, alackaday!

But, I must not look at it this way…
These feelings of depression, I must allay!
Ignore my Thought Storms who bring banality…
But failure, for me, is an inevitability…
An ageing body that can’t cope with a Segway,
Dementia Doreen, who stealing my logicality…
Cruelly toying with my already befuddled memory…

Kathleen Cataracts, Deaf Donald, annoy me,
As does Arthur Itis and Cartilage Cathy…
Then there’s the danger of Peripheral Neuropathy!
Which is worse? Thought-Storms that gives no leeway…
Always brain-rattling, confusing me… it never goes away…

Or my physical ailments, though not so bad today…
Some pains so bad, they can leave me delusory…
I even limp and fall over, somnambulistically!
The falls were possibly caused clinicopathologically…
No idea what that means; I dropped it in casually!

Well, that’s got the bad stuff out of the way…
It could be a better day? Conceptualistically,
Then again, it could go badly, confrontationally?
I hope conversationally, or even convivially!
Depressive, error-ridden, painful, or distastefully,
If so, the day will go conventionally!

What a wet, embarrassing start to the day! I would guesstimate that from waking and getting to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket), it would have been about a minute or so, although it felt like half an hour. And still, I didn’t make it in time! Shame, despondency, self-loathing, and the ignominy of it at my age… Weeing one’s Protection Pants! Still, they did the job, but unfortunately, I have little feeling when passing water nowadays and pulled Little Inchie out before he’d run his course… So, the second job of the day was cleaning up and sanitising, then a change of pantaloons, washing myself thoroughly, and getting the socks, jammie-bottoms and jumper in the bowl soaking in Dettol. Well, that wasn’t planned!

I tried to upload the photos, but the computer wasn’t having it. So, there may not be any of today’s pictures on here at all! I can clip stuff from the web, copy & paste them into CorelDraw and get some things on that way. Use old photos… but not import any at all! Gragnangles!

Now I should have been in a Dracula Depression over this, but I had no idea why; maybe the embarrassing event when wee-weeing had overridden… What am I talking about?

I got the blood pressure and the temperature taken. I didn’t bother taking any pictures. I felt it would be a waste of time. The SYS 158, DIA 69 and temperature 34.8°c, seemed okay.

The annoyance of not being able to use the photos I’d taken started to irk me badly now! I pressed on finishing yesterday’s blog and got it posted off. Then went on the WordPress Reader and Comments.

I took a photo of the end car park and a couple of the Ocado delivery, don’t know if I’ll be able to get them on later.

The Ocado delivery arrived, the driver put the bags through the door into the hall for me; thank you! As I was taking the bags through to the kitchen, ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ announced the arrival of Carer Richard. ho checked the use-by dates on the delivery and what I had left in the fridge; a few items had to be dished! Good of him, cause with Cataract Kathleen, Glaucoma Glenda and Sandra Saccades, there is no way I could read the dates on some of the packets! Thanks, Richard, me old flower!

There were some things that I could not recall ordering and certainly didn’t want or need in the Ocado order. Either substituted or ordered in error by me – which is more likely. So it was like a shopping trip for Richard; I kept asking him he fancied this and that, Hehe! Got medications sorted out, and we had a chinwag and laugh for a couple of minutes. Then he had to go; he was beginning to look wearier as time went by, which is not surprising as he’d just finished his night shift. He took the waste bag with him to the chute for me, Jolly decent chap!

An hour or so on the blogging, it was slow going again, but that will be the norm from now on, methinks. Then… off to the wet room… to make us of the Porcelain Throne; another bad one.

I took a Dioctyl (Poo-softener) capsule again. Getting things moving took a while and a lot of painful effort. I’ve not had to apply so much pressure for such a long time in years. All the way through as well! Still, to my surprise, there were only specs of blood. And the innards soon settled down again.

Hehe! I’d been that long on the Throne; my tea had gone cold. Made another and started this blog going.

Ah, I suddenly realised that there had been no noise coming from Herbert this morning? I hope he’s not well and had an accident.

I checked on the Amazon Deliveries, one today, one tomorrow. Shame they were not both on the same day. Hello, that’s the third change of ETA! Not that it matters, really. It’s just the thought of it coming late in the night and my having to stay awake to receive it that bothers me. Also, will the delivery person leave it in the reception foyer or bring it up to the flat? Mmm? Or… is it a ploy to have them both delivered on Saturday? Which would suit me; it’s just not knowing.

Ah, Herbert is back at doing what he does best (apart from sneering at and ignoring me when he sees me, Haha), Clunking, tap-tapping. But it didn’t last for long. Hehehe! He’s losing his annoyance Defcon 2 label here.

I tried to get the photos onto the computer again. Much to my amazement, the reader let me load some, not all of them, but still. Here’s last night’s super-supper. Which went down superbly, even if it was eaten after midnight! I burnt the potato waffles to perfection for my tastes. The beef, potatoes, cheese, and bean pasties were a delight and tasted. The mini tomatoes, red, yellow and green, were smashing! Which leaves only the mushrooms… Oh, dear, not good, I ate only one of them! Someone mystery person, whoever it was, told me to try wine vinegar with this fungi, so I did! Sickly sweet they tasted. Which kept the Flavour Score down to 8/10.

The end of Citrus Walk photo was… no, no, Chestnut Way, showing Red Van man parked back in his favourite position, on the yellow no-parking chevrons on the roadway. Not that it would bother him, I’m sure. Potentially blocking any Fire Engines from turning to get to the flats. Whoever he is.

A photograph of the Ocado carrier bags that were delivered this morning.

Hello, he’s off again! Bang, tap scrape, thud! Another short-burst. Thanks, Herbert!

The fridge was looking under-filled compared to usual after a delivery? Mind you, a fair bit of stuff was found out of date by Carer Richard this morning, and I gave him five items that had been sent, mysteriously… Well, I can’t recall ordering them. Tsk! Bonkersness comes in many forms… usually prompted by Vascular Dementia, Doreen, nowadays.

Ah, well, time to get the shaving, medicating and showering done. I thought I’d check on the Amazon tracker first…

Well, the Amazon delivery is just 6 stops away if the tracker is right! He’s got a lot of side streets to get his way through, so I’ll delay the ablutionalisationing until he’s been. Hello, Five stops away now. Exciting this is, innit? Well, not really, so fair enough!) I’m easy to entertain, ain’t I? Hehehe!

It’s still coming, but further away now? It’s all new to me this tracking lark.

Har-har! 2 Stops away now! I’m enjoying this; keep going to the tracker page and taking a shot of the map. As I say, I’m easily pleased.

I’m the next stop now…

Technology has always fascinated me… it’s a shame I was never clever enough to understand it, really.

Gorrit! A bit of an anti-climax! Hahaha!

I made a vegetarian feast tonight. A Bean & cheese flaky pastry pastie. fresh garden peas, honeyed parsnips, ready-prepared M&S Parmentier Potatoes – Diced British potatoes coated in shallot and garlic butter and sprinkled with thyme. (Boy, they were good!), with yellow, black & red tomatoes. Followed by a lemon mousse and a lime & lemon dessert. Taste rating: 9.2/10! It was worth the time to prepare and cook and the effort and time to clean up the mess I made afterwards. It cost a fortune as well! Lovely! I slowly digested every morsel, like a gastronomer.

Put teethings away after washing up, and got down in the rickety recliner, and off into the wonderful land of nod!

♫ Oh, Susana ♫ played from the door chime, and in walked Carer Elena. She soon sorted the medications out for me. I was having difficulty in hearing what she was saying with the ear wax blocking my hearing and the mask she was wearing. So despite her many patients, accommodating, asked-for saying it again… I had to guess what the Angel said, half of the time. But she left happily enough, taking the waste bag with her to the chute for me. 💙

I had a wash (I do that sometimes, you know), and got the bamboo socks on, and I got down in the recliner again.

Put the TV on… and fell into a wonderful four-hour visit with Sweet Morpheus… then woke up with the bigger jump! I had no idea why… But I thought I’ll have to get up to have a look around to make sure all is well in the Inchcock flatlet… But no! I involuntarily nodded off again instead.

Inchcock Today: Thursday 24th February 2022

Thursday 24th February 2022

Why is Liberty-Global Virgin Internet Media such utter, Crap?

How, when a man can earn figures like these below for Mike Fries, boss of Liberty-Global, who owns Virgin Media along with tons of other acquisitions, and he still can’t manage to get a Virgin Media Internet connection to Sherwood, Nottingham, without it going down every single day, several times?

Just asking, like… Not that it bothers me!

I got my head down late, and I fought to nod off until gone midnight. At least I only shot awake twice, well, three times, but I decided to get up then, at 4:30hrs. I was persuaded by Little Inchie, who required a wee-wee. Hehe!

The significant bit about this is how refreshed I felt! Less than four hours sleep, but it felt like I’d had ten or more? Grrreat! I think the Hemp capsules are helping me sleep a bit better now?

Shuddering Shoulder Shirley was getting a little rough at times; these episodes continued all day, though never for any lasting time, a minute to perhaps five.

Off to the Porcelain Throne and do a stand-up early-morning shave and wash, etc. The Throne session went so nearly perfectly! There was no need to rush or push; the evacuation eased out of its own accord, painlessly! A few spots of blood, nowt to fret over.

Ah, things did get a bit fraught in the teggie-cleaning and shaving departments! I caught the broken tooth, and a bit more came off, and I vampires some of the blood. Hehe! Then, I managed to nick my right ear lobe with a razor, and boy did that bleed too! The tiniest cut imaginable too? I had to use a lot of kitchen towels to soak it up with. And a lot of the Brute aftershave.

But there were no toe-stubbings, walking or knocking into anything, colly-wobbles, Dizzy Dennis’, or tumbles. I even coped with getting the long diabetic bamboo socks on without putting myself in danger by using Sock-Glide-Glenda! Smug-Mode-Applied!

Again, things went well. The only correctly painful treating was rubbing the Phorpain Gel into Arthur Itis’ left knee, and as I did the right one, Cartilage Cathy was giving me what for. Codeine when I’ve finished I thought (But I forgot!).

I did struggle a bit getting the trousers on cause Arthur and Cathy were making things challenging this morning. Overall, I was well pleased with the sessioning. I moved down to Defcon-Three in the Smug-Mode. Again surprising myself at how well things were going, considering the lack of sleep.

My new Chinese (Hong Kong) was made by Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd™, contactless thermometer came up with a body temperature of 33.7°c, which is really low. Tried again with the ear-thermometer. That was better, 34.3°c. The Blood Pressure had gone down nicely to 147/68. The Pulse was 86bpm. Perfick!

Oh, back to the Porcelain Throne!

Yet another good evacuation! Smug-Mode Grade Three Adopted!

A skunk and a clatter from aloof, sniffy attituded Herbert’s apartment above.

🏴‍☠️ Virgin went down. Hard to believe, I know…

Carer Richard rang the ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ chime and came in. I was in the kitchen, suffering from a longish and violent attack from Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley. I was struggling to stir the tea safely. Good old Richard did it for me. He’s never been here when I was having an SSS session; it fritted him a little at first. He’s a caring Carer. Got the prescriptions taken, had a little natter, and even raised a laugh. Off he trotted after selecting some treats.

I went to make another brew, Thompsons Punjana, this time. By, gum, the sky looked like it was getting darker again? I took a snap from the kitchenette window of the front car park, Chestnut Walk.

I waited a while, hoping some birds might fly by, but they didn’t.

Even the cloudy skies looked attractive to me; they seemed to have varying highlights?

Had a wee-wee, washed, made a mug of Thompsons Punjana, and made my way out into the balcony. To take a photograph of the end car park.

Red van man was back blocking the ingress and exit route, fully parked on the yellow chevrons, yet again. Naughty boy! I’m just jealous now that they have taken my driving licence off me after the stroke. Hehehe!

Sister Jane rang me on the landline. But the signal was terrible… it always is actually from West Bridgford. We had an excellent chinning session. Despite Jane’s croaky voice, my blocked ears, and the appalling connection, I got most of what we were reminiscing about and laughing.

Back to the blogging. I lot of interruptions, Dementia Doreen, cataracts making viewing/typing slow going, and Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley. Peripheral Neuropathy Pete was amazingly calm, so I tried to make the best of this… but I was only causing more errors by trying to rush. Then: Another interruption, window cleaner Joe arrived. But he is always welcome and a good chinwagger, too! We, well, I spoke and moaned a fair bit. Eventually, the subject matter got lighter, and laughter ensued! Selected a drinkie and nibble in thanks, and on he went to another flatlet or apartment, no doubt that will cheer them up!

I came across the picture I thought I’d lost, of last nights’ nosh. Some idiot put it in the wrong folder, TSk! I ate most of it. Gorgeous fresh garden peas, red, yellow and black tomatoes Very nice! Cornish pasty M&S, the best! And BBQ potatoes! Flavour rating: 8⅛/10.

Ye gods, what was that? Kerumph, from the flat above. Well… drilling now! I hope Herbert has not fell-over and broken his neck. I think.

Checked the beef chunks in the crock-pot. These are Icelands “Extra Lean” beef chunks, by the way. Just look at the fat floating freeing around! Eurgh! I sieved some off of the mixture, and I added some gravy browning and black bean sauce… fingers-crossed for tonights’ nosh! Looks horrible?

Going to have to rest a bit now. An unfortunate visit from Dizzy Dennis forces this. Made a mug of Glengettie and ate a rather delightful mini-marshmallow, which tasted so good! I sat down to recuperate from the scary bashing from Dennis at one of his more vicious attacks.

I nodded off, quickly, and a few minutes later, shot-awake, clambered free of the £300 recond-hand recliner, and off for Porcelain Throne visit number three of the day! Giving myself en route, the first good hefty toe-stubbing of the day! Argh! Ahem! I never flinched… or swore at all.

♬ Oh, Susana ♬ chimed out again. It was Phlebotomy nurse Hristina! I immediately cheered up. And girded parts of my loins that had not been fortified since the last time she came! Hahaha! I know; I remember needing the tablets.

Hristina got the blood taken in her usual kind. patient, heart-rate increasing way. ♥ She had time for a minute worth of nattering today, which I appreciated. Had to force the gal to take a treat in thanks. She departed; I was downhearted; I belched, farted, and went for a wee-wee.

Minutes later, ♬ Oh, Susana ♬ chimed out again. Once more, my heart rate increased… for it was desirable Carer Elena, come to do the medications. We had another natter and laughed. thanked her, offering her choice of nibbles and drinkies, she is always reluctant to take any, but I forced her I thin in the end. ♥ She departed, taking the waste bags with her for me to the chute. 🧡

By gum, I’ve done well with getting all this pulchritude visiting me today!

Got the nosh sorted and served up. A bit better this time. The beef chunks that had been heating in the slow-cooker for seven hours or so tasted better cause of the BBQ and chilli seasonings. The black, yellow and red tomatoes were tasty. The fresh garden peas were terrific! The cheese and bean pastie went down well. Rating: 8.2/10.

Now, I should be getting to sleep… but no! So many visitors, the computer playing up all day, Cataract Kathleen, and Cartilage Cathy joined forces to hamper my progress with the blog. Now it’s going to be (estimated) midnight before I can get it finished. Still, the beautiful ladies of the day perked me up.

Summary of the (better) Day Ode

Beautiful ladies arrived today, but no pas de deux!
Ailments generally were pretty good; no, it’s true!
But Cartilage Kathy chose to turn the pain-screw!
The dying computer’s terrible; I think its death is due…
Fair enough, you’d be right, saying this of me too!

Noisy Herbert above gave me less of a hullabaloo…
Consistently demanding were summons to the loo!
Four visits to the Porcelain Throne was an issue…
Great natters today, more than a few…
They help keep me from feeling too blue!

Caring Carers, cheerful window man Jo, who…
Along with nurse Hristina, they gave good social value!
Without them, I don’t know what I’d do…
Each one leaving left me sadder on their Depardieu…
A betterer day like today has been long overdue!

Evening all!

Inchcock Today: Tuesday 15th February 2022: Farcicalisationing again!

Vascular-Dementia-Doreen Strikes Again!

Tuesday 15th February 2022

Another slightly better night, at least once I got off to sleep. Over the past couple of weeks now, I’d been jumping awake, nervously, anything from 5-minutes to half an hour after nodding off, but I’ve always been able, once I’ve fought off the Thought-Storms, that is; to get back into the land of nod swiftly again. Last night it was getting to sleep in the first place that was the problem. I even turned on the TV cause that usually helps me fall out of consciousness. But not last night, it was ‘orrible! Once did, the waking ups started, of course, but no more often than average. Hey-Ho! I’m losing faith in the Hemp capsules already.

So, it was later than usual when I did stir back into imitation life. Not that I noticed at the time, cause the need to utilise the Porcelain Throne was soon on me. Off to the wet room, and Gawd Blimey! Another wet but willing evacuation! I got things cleaned up… and the wet room was washed and changed into day clobber, teeth, eye drops, ear drops, Germolened Little Inchies final lesion, and Germoloided Harolds Haemorrhoids. It’s a job every morning and night this is!

Made a brew of the J Sainsbury’s Extra Strong tea; this is not bad at all, but not up to the standards of Thompsons Punjana or Glengettie. Got on the computer to start updating yesterdays blog!

A flipping hard slog with the Shaking Shaun interference… I like that word, but why?

The intercom sounded and lit up. Hello, Sainsbury are good and early this morning!

I gave the deliveryman two boxes and a carrier bag. He filled with the delivered items for me, and he put them through the door in the hallway for me. I slipped him a choice of drinkies in thanks, and off he trudged.

I’d not seemed to get much this time? Before sorting them out, I had a look on the web to see the order. A good few items are unavailable, and I’d ticked the no substitutes on them. Very risky letting Sainsbury’s make substitutes, I can tell yer! Still, some of luxury, spoil-the-old man foods had arrived, Hehehe!

How the fresh cream French Horns got requested is beyond my imagination… me? Buying fresh cream French Horns? Ahem! With whole cream milk? Lemon cream desserts, too? I also tried some JS own label Extra Strong Teabags. (Not bad at all!) The cheesy twist pastries looked good. I’ll have them later on tonight. Worra feast in store!

A few minutes after getting fodder stored away, ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ chirped up from the doorbell, and in walked Carer Cassie. She’s brought with her the monthly prescriptions. While she was putting them away, I nattered away.

During which something came up in the one-way conversation. And as we went into the main room, I said I’d make a note to remind myself to phone the Doctor…

It then dawned on me… I could not find the Nokia! I always leave it to the computer’s right, as a rule. Where the charging cable can reach the phone from the socket?

Later, I felt an Ode coming on…

That if I could not find it this morning!
When Carer Cassandra came calling…
She set off, with me, both searching…
My hopes were not worth a farthing,
Of me discovering, finding…
My beloved mobile, a precious thing…
It was most irritating and frustrating…
Irking and embarrassing!
Cassie looked in every nook was persisting…
Every room searched, drawer-jostling…
Finding it? My hopes were now fading…
Vascular Dementia Doreen, it was very degrading,
We investigated under the chairs, it was so rilling,
Cassie carried on, with no getting ruffling…
Where can it be? Then I needed a wee-weeing…
Off to the wet room, not easy peeing and thinking…
Wondering where I’d put the danged thing!

I got back to the main room – & Cassie was smiling! ♥
With eyes that were brighter and twinkling…
She pointed out where she found the phone hiding…
Yes, Cassie found it, I gave her a kiss, but I was infringing,
But she gave me no whinging; I started singing!

We both began grinning and laughing!
I was so happy, I could have wet my underclothing!
It’s lovely to find a little joy in something…
Although later, I was scathing, scything, and seething…
At getting in such a mess… things I’m constantly losing,
I’m an expert on having things go vanishing!

With my telling her of my funny turn yesterday, I was unsure if cleaner Esther had called on me or not. Cassie pointed out that she could have moved the mobile; because the computer desk looked like it had been dusted. (which means it is usually dirty? Haha!)

Oh, I’ve not said have I, where the phone was found? It was moved a few inches from its usual position, but out of sight, underneath the keyboard! I feel a greater fool than ever now!

The blooming day was nearly gone by the time I started on this post! Getting the Monday blog finished after all the time spent searching for Nokia-Nigel, meant it cost me a total of over five hours before I got it finished and posted off. Adding the fact that Peripheral Neuropathy Pete had joined with Shaking Shaun in making things nigh on impossible to type without so many errors… I should have been angry, but no… I was grateful that Cassie helped me find the mobile to use…

Then a Mega Mess! Could I remember who I was going to call in the first place? Could I ‘eck as! Now, this is just how life is going for me at the moment…

I had the oddest thoughts and confusions. I was still grateful for Cassie finding errant mobile for me, and at the same time, felt worthless and full of self-loathing for not being able to recall who I needed to call!

There are people like lovely Lisa and Sister Jane, who I want to converse with. But no time left again! The evening carer is nearly due! And I’ve not had anything to eat yet! Ah, well, no wonder I’m not sleeping well.

I did a little Facebooking answered some comments. Then had a look at the WordPress reader. I just made the WP comments; now I shall have to give up blogging and prepare some fodder prepared… I imagine I will not be back until the morning.

Really weary now, just about done in, and the fodder had to be prepared, cause sometimes even hunger can survive the onslaught of weariness. (Ah, a touch of cleverness there, I thought?)

Bean and cheese and beef pasties, naughty cheese curls, slow-cooker destroyed potatoes by doing them for eleven hours! Tsk! Roast chestnuts and, sadly, the last of the black tomatoes. However, I did make too much of a plateful, and I was running out of eating-steam and considering abandoning the by now gruelling task of shoving any more food into my gullet, and…

♫ Oh, Susan ♫ chimed out from the doorbell. I instantly morphed into a smiling, happy, hopeful and cheerful chap; the moment that I saw it was Carer Julie coming into the room!

I asked her if she had enjoyed her holiday, as the others told me she was on. But she had been poorly, not on holiday. After giving me the medications, we had a too long chinwag and laugh. I mentioned that I had not paid her yet for posting the package to Lisa and Bill for me. And forwarded the thanks of Billum for her help. Showed her some photo’s graphics I’d done of Lisa and Bill, and she showed interest. ♥

But she really had to go; I had delayed her a long enough. I insisted she tool some treats and nibbles if only to help cover the cost of her doing the mailing for me. The last two little Natoora tomatoes from the fridge were taken. I do hope she and her partner enjoy them. ♥ Said my sad farewells to Carer Julie.

Washed, got down in the awesomely uncomfortable recliner, and prepared for the arrival of Sweet Morpheus

A mention of Sweet Morpheus, or sleep…
Sometimes he won’t let me get a peep…
This makes me tired, and I want to weep,
I’ve tried, it doesn’t work, counting sheep,
Nightly the wakings up rerepeat,
Insomnolence, can it be beaten?

Tonight, I gorrof to sleep really quickly…
Woke; pains from Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley,
I thought I’d been a kip for hours… ghastly…
I’d slept for ten minutes at most, eerie?
God of Sleep & Dreams, ignoring my sleep-deficiency?
Nodding back, and again started dreaming…
About ‘Man from Uncle’ Mr Waverley?

My shooting awakes, giving me hypertension…
Spent a while, in fretting and procrastination,
Back in the land of nod, minutes later, depression!
This time shaking from failed neurotransmissions,
Like a shot, back and deeply sleeping…
Why and how is beyond my comprehension…
Seems I’ve got a staying-asleep suppression?

Is it possible to get a sleep transfusion?
Will Sweet Morpheus be open to persuasion?
Can I bribe him or offer complete adulation?
Every time I nod off, I awake in absquatulation…
Can one invent a sleep button? Press for activation?
Or will I continue suffering mental altercation?

The Pure Hemp is bringing no sleep satisfaction…
I can see no improvement in my nocturnal hibernation,
I suppose I’ll be left with new mental disorientation,
I crave rest at times; there’s no commiseration,
I’d see the Doctor, but that’s another complication,
Hearing on the phone, she bounces back my email communication,

I see no way to make things better, somnambulatorily,
Fact is, today, I feel pretty poorly…
Awaiting the next Whoopsie…
Willing life to be hassle-free…
Asking profound questions of me…
Getting self-answers, of fiddledeedee!

Sad, innit?

Inchcock Today: Diary, including the Evening Dream – In Ode

Saturumday 5th February 2022

INCHCOCK TODAY

Back to the horrible nocturnalisationings, like sleeping poorly, again! Oh boy, am I pissed off with this or what! I spent more time awake than asleep last night!

Endlessly waking up with a jump, then working out what time and day it was, and where I was! It was soul-destroying. I should think I must have woken at least two dozen times, more often than not needing a wee-wee! Cursing at my situation every time! Then just when I decided to get up, I fell asleep for the most extended period all night! It lasted for about an hour.

Amazingly, I rose from the uncomfortable depths of the £300, second-hand, decrepit, c1968, rickety recliner, with almost ease! There was a complete absence of any hassle from Reflux Roger, Anne Gyner, Toothache Thomas, Duodenal Donald, Shaking Shaun (although he had a few goes at me later in the morning).

Caught my balance and checked on the legs because Arthur Itis and CCP (Cartilage Cathy’s Patella) were both giving me pain the moment I got any weight (And I’ve plenty of that!) on the plates and pins. Vasculitis and venous thromboembolism, and veins were remarkable by their absence!

But it seemed that only CCP and Arthur were worth worrying about. Grrreat!

Indeed, both feet looked in such a fine state I had to take a photo of them. Were they really mine?

This doesn’t happen very often, so I was already preparing to go into Smug-Mode!), that the J Sainsbury order is due this morning, and I don’t have a lot of time to prepare for them, with my getting up so late. Partly dressed (that’s as far as I got all day, Tsk!), I wandered hobblingly into the kitchenette to make a brew of Glengettie. It came to mind…

While the kettle was boiling, I took this snap of the morning view, catching the edge of the window frame to give a perspective of the actual sizing. I’ve forgotten why I thought of doing this now.

As I turned to get the kettle, CCP gave way in the right knee; boy, did she pain me! The knee nearly gave way a few more times as well. I’m hoping nothing like last week with Cathy popping out of her patella socket happens again. The whole joint was aching for hours after this? Mmm?

I made a brew and had a mug of Thompsons Punjana. Took it with me to the computer and made a start on finalising yesterdays blog. And before I could get to drink it, “♫ Oh, Susana… ♫” music chimed up from the door buzzer. It was Carer Cassandra; she was in a much lighter mood this morning. (Meridian Health & Social Care do not have any bosses on duty at the weekend, and Nottingham City Homes have no ILCs (Independent Living Coordinators) working weekends either). I assume that this is why the Carers are a little more cheerful? Unless, of course, some Carer has not turned up or left the job (a lot of them do that!), and that they have been called in to cover, of course. Haha!

Cassie soon got the medications sorted, and we even ad a little natter… well, I did. Har-har! Cassie departed, taking my waste bag with her, and I went to make another mug of tea…

I knocked over the milk bottle, but it only fell on its side, which I appreciated muchly and took a photo of it to prove that I do sometimes have good luck… in a way.

The intercom flashed; I presume it sounded as well, but I couldn’t hear it. Pressed the release button, and within two minutes, the ♫Oh Susana♫ tune rang forth again”. Grand deliveryman took the boxes through to the kitchen for me. Only four items missing out of stock this week. Much better than last week’s 14! Got the fresh stuff sorted and stored away in the fridge. The fridge is now looking well-stocked again but not overloaded.

A few items of cleaning and bleaching were put in the cupboards in the wet room and kitchenette.

Putting the canned cupboard supplies away cost me a lot of time. Peripheral Neuropathy Pete’s nerve ends lost contact a few times while I reached up to put them on the shelves.

In fact, I ended up throwing a couple of items up to the top shelf, but I don’t think anything broke.

Having said that, I’m sure I have more than a few dented cans in there now. However, I’m well off for kinds of vinegar seasonings and have a few cans of various vegetables to fall back on… not literally mind. Although, if CCP (Cartilage Cathy’s Patella) has her way, shell have me over some time today. I can feel her efforts, little twinges, in readiness to floor me!

Got the fodder away and applied some of the impotent, not fit for the job, but better than nothing, Phorpain gel rubbed well into the kneecap vicinity. I also took an extra Codeine 30g tablet. Because each time I put pressure in the joint, I can now feel a sort of grating from within the knee. Along with the seconds long periods of it feeling like it’s going to give, then it comes back? Ah well, fingers crossed!

I took a couple of pictures from inside the balcony. Of the end car park and Chestnut Walk below the front of the building. The red van man continues to park on the yellow hatched area and the White hatchback on the double yellow lines. And they say young men are bad drivers?

Whilst doing the blog, the lighting charged rather quickly outside.

Took a photograph of the changed sky colouring. I think this means rain on the way?

The weather made a liar of me within ten minutes, the sky turned blue, and a contrail showed up. Caught it with the Canon.

Back on the computer, I heard a clattering noise to accompany Herberts tap-tapping. I was sure it came from the kitchen, so I got up to investigate the clatterings source. But without any success, I’m afraid.

I had a go on Facebooking, Winwood Heights and the TFZer site. After about an hour or so, a loud (well, it would have to have been for me to hear it) similar metallic-sounding noise was heard again? I got a little confused as I could listen to Herbert above knocking away again. But, I felt the metallic sounds were coming from the kitchen. But, again, could find no cause of them?

All a part of the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghost, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morganas, and pretentious, uppity, snobby, pernickety, smug, stuck-up, neighbour above, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind? I really believe that it did not come from the sanctified, consecrated, uncommunicative, ascetic, eremitic, aloof, arrogant slimeballs apartment above. Mmm?

I thought later, could it be the contents of the food cupboards that I could not get in the cupboard properly?

So, off into the kitchenette for yet another investigation.

As I searched each cupboard again, silence fell from Herbert’s flat. Oh, I hope he’s not dropped dead or is poorly… Ahem!

I couldn’t find owt not in order, or that could have caused the mystery racket?

The expected rain was coming down.

Decided to do the Medical Checks and just look at the BP figures that I got from the sphygmomanometer!

The lowest I’ve ever had! Brilliant! But baffling.

This follows a series of readings: SYS 168 Dia 62, SYS 148 Dia 76, SYS 149 Dia 62, now the excellent SYS 117 Dia 66! Yee-Haa! Fully in the Green for the first time ever!

The pulse was 74, and the body temperature 34.6°c. I think that is okay too!

Then I gave the knee another covering of the Phorpain gel.

The right knee still looked a smidge knobbly and was still a grating feeling when I applied any pressure as I walked. It doesn’t look or feel like it

is Arthur Itis playing up, rather more as if it is Cartilage Cathy.

However, the spider and veins were all looking well down today. The DVT (Deep Vein Thrombosis) clumps had disappeared!

Blimey, where’s the time gone to? The Carer will be here soon, and I’m not changed or had anything to eat yet! I treated myself to a lemon Viennese biscuit.

Got the oven on to use later to cook the beef pastie and some chips. Then plodded on with updating this blog.

A short bout of noise from Herbert. He just wants me to know that I have no chance of him stopping making noise, Bless Him!

I was preparing the late nosh, when the sound of ♫Oh, Susana♫, indicated the arrival of the evening Carer, Valerie tonight. I remembered I had an Easter Egg for her in the spare room, and I fetched it for her. She read some dates of the food in the kitchen for me, all were in date. Phew! She sorted the medications for me and was soon off, but tonight we did manage a mini natter, which was nice. Valerie took the waste bags to the chute with her. ♥

I got the meal finished and served onto the plate and tray. A sourdough baguette for one, which was delightfully tasty! BBQ seasoned sliced potatoes, yellow and red tomatoes. I put a pot of dipping sauce on the tray, mainly for the sourdough-dipping. Hehe! The Cornish pastie was a different one this time. J Sainsbury’s pack of four. It shamed Iceland’s and Morrison’s ones, and had real flavour with not too much spicing in it… oh, and the sliced mini-bits of spuds were nice to the palette. A pleasant surprise for me. Overall, a Flavour-Rating of 8.2/10… got to be precise on these things. Hehehe!

The sleep was better than of late. Only about six shooting-awakes all night. On the last one, I woke remembering some bits of a dream I’d been having. There is an Ode to the Dream Ode, I wrote in the morning:

Ode to the Dream Ode

It’s a long time since I recalled summat I was dreaming,
In a room with many folks, like at a housewarming…
Female admirers around me were swarming!
Even in the dream, I didn’t become assuming…
Why me, all around were young men, convening,
Every one of them, the ladies were declining…
I could tell, to the lads, this was disheartening…
Even to me, this was a little disquietening!
It is me, that the girls wanted to be entwining…
What the heck is going on, happening?

One of the girls was particularly endearing…
Plump gal, about 35, and we hid, our bodies exploring…
She said she was pleased I chose her…Amazing!
How come all the girls suddenly find me appealing?
She said, Helen, I think, it was because of your blogging?
And we started cuddling and snogging…
“But, why, Helen?” I couldn’t resist inquiring…
“We’re all after your recipe for cheesy potatoes, darling!”
Which put an end to our session of pleasuring…

The dream seemed to morph into another rumination,
I was underground in a massive cave, fireflies flickering…
In the dark shadows in and out of view, flittering…
What, who they were, teased my imagination…
I searched, but I could not catch them, disheartening!
I could hear them babbling, mayhaps alien talking?

Aliens or ghosts, either way, I needed verification…
For the fireflies, they seemed to have an affection?
Then I heard a new sound, all around, tintinnabulation,
Damn it, the dream moved on to a railway station!

I was obviously waiting for a train,
Luggage around me, but no ticket to use, who to blame?
Searched my pockets, again and again…
My panic was becoming a pain…
The announcer said something about a train to Dunblane?
Walking on the platform, I saw Neville Chamberlain?
Waving an Amazon card at me, the dream started to wane…
I wanted to stay, learn 1940’s life, I tried to remain…
But, Herbert’s banging about woke me up again!

The Nottingham Lad’s Diary – With Odeing

Inchcock Today: The Nottingham Lads Local News Snippets

The Nottingham Lads Local News Snippets

Gotten Himmel – Seven Hours Straight-Through sleep!

What a marathon, a pleasurable hypersleep!
When I woke, my joy did reep…
But I’m not going to threap…
But I did spend nearly an hour on the toilet seat!

The carer gals ganged up on me… but I was alreet,
I dropped two tablets, but they only spotted one!
Still, I gave them a nibble and drink as a treat,
If I left it to them, I’d be dead and gone!
Thanked them and carried on…
Getting the beans, seasonings and chunks of meat,
Carefully prepping the chilli for Josie’s luncheon!

I was already feeling somewhat smugger,
Until I went to the Throne, a right bugger!
Harold’s Haemorrhoids bleeding, the flow rate larger…
Then I realised, the fungal lesion was bleeding too!
But I began to get a little cheerier,
One thing that went well though, was the poo!
The Brute worked, and I cleaned up getting things drier,
Again, I as soon felt frumpier,
Had another toe stumper!

Got Josie’s nosh sorted, but it was a scramble…
Too long doing this blog as a preamble…
So I rushed the prepping; took a gamble,
But didn’t land in the proverbial…
The tray prepped, I dropped some bit… that’s immaterial…
It was delivered on time, keeping my record was essential,
Josie was in spirits, a chinwag was attainable,
Wished her good eating, and Josie was delightable!

Back to the kitchen, tap left running again, I’m blameable!
Got the pots washed and put away, then, being so capable…
I’ve the habit of doing this, I dropped the kettle…
Burnt my leg, took ages to clean the mess, I’d had a bellyful!
I’d broken the handle against the table!
Took a photo of the end car park, just because I was able!

My frustrations with myself, are indescribable,
Self-loathing, grudgeful, and yet, also grateful?
I suddenly realised I was really lucky!
Or do I mean highly gullible?
I’m still going, not strong, but plucky…
I’m not sinful, and definitely not skilful…
Why thinking like this, confusion was plentiful,
I’d better get on with the blog before I get forgetful…
Yet, for some reason or other, I don’t feel stressful?.

Local News Snippets

This is a sport?
Violence to report…
A game, tempers short?
Well, not my sort!

Well said Police Officer Sarge…
Amazing, can you enlarge?
Will anyone be charged?
I don’t mean to be a targe!

So sad, I used it so many times!

An anti-social behaviour injunction?
He’s a scumbag, give him a vaccination!
One that might improve his sensitisation…
Pentobarbital should help is putrefaction!

Nottinghamianese to the core!

Worrying!

Fingers crossed!

How many years will the animal be given?
Will he be yet another freed prisoner to kill again?
Judges, parole pillocks show stupefaction…
Or should the question be when?

Another potential killer.

Inchcocks Postcode crime figures…
Can’t say that they assure us…
Police redundancies and station closures!
Stabbings, murders, bleachings, fractures…
The courts give them stiff lectures…
The odd lengthy sentence in the mixtures,
But the worst of devious plicatures…
Are they are better of inside… time for reflectures?

I know, I know… but it rhymes! Hehehe!

Particularly nasty, bearing in mind who she was working for!

Argh!

LATE NEWS FLASH!

♥ I put the photo of Lisa on the header, cause she’s lovely! ♥

The Nottingham Lads Local News Snippets Series

Inchcock Today

Fings ain’t too good. But I’m absolutely fed up with hearing myself moan and waffle on about things. So, I won’t!

Photos from yesterday and today…

Carer… erm… Sorry, I’ve forgotten her name.

Intercom screen (Yes, it worked!)

Today

Got up late today. Then, remembered that the Iceland delivery came yesterday! Thought the Iceland delivery was due, so took this snap of the bitterly cold mornings view and shot (Hehe!), well hobbled into the wet room to ready the things for the ablutioning.

Back into the kitchen to make a brew of Glengettie. Took another snap of the moon I spotted. I sometimes notice these things!

Ten minutes or so later, I spotted that I had not turned on the kettle at the power socket. Various words of self-derision were spouted.

Waiting for the kettle again, I took this snap of the City Hospital in the morning mist. I made the brew and took it with me into the wet room to save time. As the Carer is due shortly. So I still had to rush the session a bit. But it didn’t help; in fact, it took me longer than it usually does. The task of stopping the bleeding from one particular shaving cut took yonks. Then, I needed the Porcelain Throne.

Harold’s Haemorrhoids had been bleeding so much I cracked the dried blood as I took off the Protection Pants! But they did a great job of holding things in. Good job. I hadn’t put the Morrison ones on; I think they would not have coped with this flood. Of course, another half-hour lost sorting, medicating and cleaning up! Hey-Ho

Waiting for the somewhat late Carer to arrive, I went on CorelDraw to make some graphics up. Gawd, I spent hours on it. Everything took even longer than usual, and I made a couple of cock-ups by shaking in my right hand. And they were sorted out with pure luck. I’d frozen CorelDraw altogether! Not the foggiest idea how I did so; just blessedly relieved that I managed to.

A landline call came in. I thought it might be Sister Jane. But no! It was Meridian Care’s top office. The Carer would be late coming. Nay bothers, I pressed on with the graphicationalisationing and Accifauxpas making. But did manage to do a couple of graphics done in advance. Before two, I say two carers arrived. Never been done so quickly. Treated the gals, and off they shot off, taking my waste bags to the chute with them. I thank you!

Already late in the day now, I pressed on with another graphic. I don’t want to show them directly, or it just might spoil the enjoyment of my multitudinous host of followers. Sometimes they both visit my site on the same day.

WHOOPSIEDANGLEPLOP – ACCIFAUXPAS!

As I proceeded in a Westerly direction, to my dismay…
Towards the front room with the food on the tray…
Do I really need to say?
Shaking Shaun arrived, and my grip on the tray gave way…
I dropped the lot, ruining hopes for this horrible Saturday!
I don’t think I reacted ballistically…
But, my self-annoyance rose dramatically!
Fetched the cleaning stuff from the wet room quickly…
Where I saw my undrunk cold mug of Glengettie!
I got the cleaning up done, very carefully,
The job was painful, annoying, and most stressfully…
I didn’t get Humpty, only with myself, quite rightly…
But things changed to almost getting tearfully…

I stubbed my toe getting back up off of the floor!
Hit my elbow in doing so; now that was also sore!
The Dark Depression took over, to my discomfiture!
I was testing my own mental infrastructure…
Am I mad, I thought… everything I do, withers, for sure!
Silly thoughts reigned… about my constant failure…
The rest of the day, the depression was wearing and dour!
Huh! I suddenly realised I’d not taken a shower!

Moments ago, went in to make another brew, indeed…
So, now I’ve got to sort myself out with another feed…
My energy, concentration limits I exceed…
First, there is another job to do, a regular need…
Even if my logicality and thought power do recede…
Got to finish and post this Ode, I must heed,
I hope that shortly, sanity will intercede?
Whoops, it’s time that I wee’d!

The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe

Photo’s From Tuesday – with Comments

Starting with the morning views from the kitchenette:

Morning Views

Oh, how lucky I am to have such a fantastic view!
Taken from the mini-kitchenette window,
The lights were brighter than they show here, though,
Can’t keep my hands steady enough, which makes me feel blue,
Cause of the ailments I recently did accrue,
Neuropathy, the stroke, Shaking Shaun, to name a few,
But I have done my bestest, and that is true…
Determined they would be good enough to show you…
But there you, I’ll just continue…!

Bottles For Sister Jane and Pete

Amongst them, a newly discovered brew,
Highly rated by some of the Caring crew,
Easy opening, no need for a corkscrew,
Reported back to me as, as being taboo,
It is tangy and sweeter than honeydew!

19-hr slow-cooked potatoes!

I noticed them when I but my finger,
on the hotpots side, made me whinger!
I turned it off, I didn’t malinger…
I bit a spud; it was so much tastier,
And planned a meal hastier… (well, it’s all I find to rhyme!)

My Planned Recipe!

Microwave poached Eggs Included

My hunger was not controllable,
I needed something digestible…
And made this meal, it was more than passable,
It came out absolutely delectable!.

What a feast yet again, most desirable!
I was in my eyeholes; it smelt indescribable…
Then rangeth out the doorbell… Oh, Hell!

Twas the Amazon Delivery

And the gits left all the parcels down in the lobby again! Boy did I have problems getting them up to the flat? Yes! The scumball had left about a dozen other packages on the floor and table, for other flats, too! Not too bad for them, there was only one small box or packet for each, Mugwumph here had a few more to collect.

One hell of a job, but somehow or other I managed to get them on the walker-trolley in one go – a bit dangerous, but still. The photo was taken as I got them inside the flat door.

I knocked over the carpet cleaner freshener and burst open as I struggled to carry the goods through to the kitchenette.

Did I swear, you ask? Oh, yea!

Sorry, had an Accifauxpas, I’ll have to stop.

Isn’t life a git! Innit?