Inchy: Masses of Mayhem Monday 9th December 2024

I am shattered! I’d been doing this blog on and off (a busy day) for about eight hours. And, considering all the nurse’s visits and telephone calls with disturbing and good news, I was pleased with how much I’d got done come 19:00hrs.
I LOST THE WHOLE LOT!
I’VE NOT THE FOGGIEST IDEA WHAT I DID TO LOSE IT!
So here I am starting again after saving later photos as older ones to save memory. I’m in the shit! I even lost the 32 lines of my Ode! I am pissed off with myself and not exactly full of interest in trying again. The Carer who read it thought it was great… which makes me feel worse! I am not in a good place. Damned seizures must be to blame, or instead, whatever I did that cost me a day’s work! There just isn’t enough time to do it all as well again as I did.

Fed up! HEARTBROKEN!
My eyesight is bad. I’m so tired and weary of having two sleepless nights. The right hearing aid has broken down.
No way! I have not had time to reproduce what I thought was a fantastic Ode. So, after a day of struggling with other things, this happens! So, after all my work, getting this blog fully detailed with plenty of whitty bits scattered in it will have to be a rush job. Sorry! I’ll do my best. Even if it means a third sleepless night!
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I went to see Doctor Downing,
Who said I was rough-looking,
Have you done nowt about yer coffin?
I said Well, no! (between my coughing),
She said, “Well, put yer hearing aids in!”
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I must have tried to sleep for nine hours last night. How can someone be so tired and worn out and ‘not’ sleep? I can; that was the second sleepless night. I tried on the hospital bed, then moved into the second-hand, c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, Catheter-tube-trapping recliner. But with and Anne Gyna, there was no chance. I gave up hope and emptied the nocturnal catheter pouch, then went to make a brew of 99 tea. And I enjoyed it, despite nearly dropping it when I took to the computer. The need for the Porcelain Throne arose.

I went back to the kitchen and took snaps of the morning view. It was raining still. I first took a poor-quality shot of what I mistakenly called Venus yesterday. Tim Price informed me it was Jupiter. Then a straight-ahead view of the lights from the streets of Sherwood.
Another poor effort.
I started the 32 lines of the Ode. (That I lost along with the rest of the blog eight hours later). Cragknangles, Thunderisations! Criggleblogsworthisms! Grobognangles! Frangleklops! Oy-yoy-yoy! Crigglebogsnot! Grobbleknangles! Grufflemoan! Skullgranglebonks! Granglespithowlations! & Grobbledamitt!

Carer Richard arrived. I’m sure I had many mini-bouts while Richard was here.
Fifteen minutes of hazyness. 

I struggled to return and find where and what I was doing on the blog. I took a breather and tried to add to and remove some items on my Asda order for Wednesday. No, it’s Tuesday or tomorrow! That means I have to be up early, it’s coming at 0600 to 0700hrs. And here I am, two sleepless nights, and it is already gone, 2200hrs. I’m doing the blog I lost again. I am so frustrated! Anyway, I couldn’t sign in on the Asda site. I spent a fair time trying to get in without any luck. So, I changed the password for the third time. Care Chloe arrived with more distractions. She helped me write the new complicated password clearly, but it would not let me in. I decided to try again later. Same thing, no-go. So, I tried using Firefox and got in. By then, I’d forgotten what I wanted to add and remove the order. Is it worth me trying to carry one?

Eventually, despite reinvigorated attacks from Ann Gyna and Shocking Sherida, I got back into a system of sorts and was doing well on the blog. (The first one, of course)

Matron Jackie arrived, and we spoke about the medications and prescription getting difficulties. She told me the Doctor had just sent the prescription today to the chemist. So it should be ready for collection on Wednesday; I explained the procedure to Carer Richard, who is in control.

Then a lovely nurse turned up; Matron Jackie had asked her to visit me so she could… Ahem!
Check  on my arms, man breasts and chest. Which was fine by me.
Also, the catheter strap scars, ,  , My mandarin-sized testicle,  condition, and the welts and pressure spots on my flabby stomach. I think I masked my true feelings, okay. The nurse told me I was wearing the day pouch too low.
We spoke of the creams that I think are at the Chemist and are now awaiting collection from Carrington. I pointed out that the Caregiver (Richard) calls each Monday, sorts out which medications are needed, and lets the Doctor know. He called this morning, and there were no prescriptions for me there.
She thought the Carers applied the creams on me and helped me bathe. I said they do not, and I’ve never asked them to. The nice nurse will let Matron Jackie know about the ailments and medications when she gets back to base.

I got back to blogging. With all the breaks, it was enough to concentrate on the work (without losing it all!   Cribblebogangonies! Glunglegnatsworth! Skullgranglebonks! Cracklepackers!

I was just about to investigate what I would have for my meal (This was 7 hours ago now, and I’ve still not got it, having to do the blog twice). Dungunblast! And the landline chirruped.
It was Matron Jackie ♥. She’s been busy helping me out. She confirmed that the cream and lotions will be ready for collection from the Carrington Pharmacy on Wednesday.
She had arranged for future prescriptions to be sent to a different chemist, Jaypoen, in Daybrook. She confirmed they would take me on their list. The best part is that they will deliver the prescriptions to the flats! I looked on Google Maps and got this picture of the shop. Obviously, I misheard Matron; it was Jayplex Chemist, not Jaypoen. It is much nearer than the Carrington shop on Mansfield Road in Woodthorpe.

But if I do have to go there, there is a darned steep hill to use to get me there. Hey-Ho! I don’t think I would manage it in my condition. Well, I know, I tried a few months ago.

THE CALAMITY OCCURED!
So, I started this second blog.
I am just too tired and will try to finish it in the morning.
I did take two snaps, though, when I was making the stew in the crock pot. The rain has stopped now, and it is getting dark so early. A little later, I spotted what I thought was Venus in the dark sky. I now know that it is Jupiter. Tim Price pointed out my . I’m very good at them, you know. Hang on, with the cock-up, I think I took the Jupiter shot in the morning. Yes, I must have cause this is the other snap I took tonight. I’ve got in such a mess; I already put the Venus Jupiter one on! Humph!

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My primary reaction to today
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TTFN.

Flawed Inchy: Friday 6th December 2024

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Life is spent mainly in the flat here…
Doing my post in the blogosphere,
Accompanied by my leaking catheter,
Falling & forgetting things is regular,
My man breasts need a brassiere,
Waking into things while hobbling,
Forgetting to put my hearing aids in,
BP shooting up and then dropping,
Toppling over when diapering,
And as for the medicationing…
Certain areas are beyond reaching,
My being shaped like a flabby Buddha,
Ointmentating, like on the lesions puncture,
It must be comical to watch for any onlooker,
Like the poor first of the day calling Carer!
Christopher once burst into laughter,
Diabetic socks off, then on as it gets darker,
Well, I am now an ageing old codger,
I’m getting challenges arithmetically,
Can no longer rely on my memory,
Doing my best with ailments physically,
No help at all with my problems mentally,
Neuropathy, seizures, or dementially,
Neurotransmitters dying off, & FND,
I use a lot of Germolene & TCP,
Gladys Glaucoma, Toothache Tiffany…
Cartilage Carol (right) (left), it’s Chloe,
Mind-Mangling-Malcolm, daily,
Dizzy Dennis, Electric shocking Sherida,
Medication hearing aid batteries get costlier,
Shaving, with cuts via the razor,
The average ablution time is now two hours,
We’ve voted stealer-Starmer as Prime Minister,
I’m far worse off financially!
Some days, I live apathetically,
Or I struggle through, pathetically,
Got that old age quality – caducity…
Hence, I wrote this goliardery!
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I woke up and did some press-ups, a few squats, and a bit of shadowboxing. Then, I ran down 15 floors of the stairs and back up again.  Hahaha! 
At 06:00hrs, I stirred from my broken slumber. It took me six minutes to untangle the . Oddly, and a first, this was… I had six shocks in succession from the right ankle. No more for 10 hours!

And what a mess I’d made of taking the urine photograph. I’ve no idea what I did wrong. It was on the auto setting when I took the picture. Off to the wet room, I trudged and wobbled. 
It was another marathon session, and it took a lot of encouragement, forcefulness, and pain to get things to even start. Keeping the torpedo moving was difficult; it was so big again. I think the oohs and arghs might have helped a little. I had to use the long, stiff bamboo cane to break ‘things’ up so that the cistern could cope with getting the evacuated product down the pipes to the sewer. Phwor! 

I washed and medicated the delicate areas. Compared to yesterday, it was a real struggle to put on the fresh PPs. Went into the kitchenette. Where I took the photo above. Then, I saw a view on offer about five minutes later, with another shot of the same area, after I’d noticed the sudden change in the sky’s hue. Green to brown?
I sorted the waste bags and took them to the rubbish chute. It was 07:00 hrs now, so the noise of flying down the tube for 12 floors shouldn’t bother anyone. I hope it didn’t.

I got on the computer to update things, but this seemed to bother them, and they kept kicking off pretty regularly. Although I didn’t detect any long ones (of course, there may have been), it just meant I had to keep rechecking what I’d done while I was in La-La-Land. I did this, correcting a few errors while my concentration was disconnected. I’m doing poetry here without realising it!

I changed the day & dates on my super-advanced, new-to-me clock/calendar thingamabob.
I thought that having this and altering it daily would help me remember the day, date and time better. It doesn’t! I’m sure it must have been made in the 1970s, but I like it.

Taking this shot later, from the kitchenette window, Carer Christopher arrived. The nibbles & drinkies were attacked with some style. Hehe!

The lad sorted the medications, then he put the diabetic socks on my legs and replaced the bag for me. Bless him. 

This view of Junk Room one was snapped. I wandered into the kitchen to take one of Junk Room Two. A whiff of guilt was scented, but not for long.
I checked in the fridge for the use-before dates that I could read. They seemed good to me.

At this point, I involuntarily passed the loudest and longest burst of leg-bending, body-lifting wind that has ever escaped my rear-end in 70-odd years! 
I just thought I’d mention it!

Eventually, I got the Thursday blog sent off, as Carer Joanne arrived for the midday call. 
Despite continuing, I pressed on with the blogging of this post. But it was gruellingly slow going.
I could call it torturously, but I won’t.

Embarrassingly, a Tesco food order arrived. I think it’s best to try to stop having food delivered. Weather, time, and health permitting, I might try to get to Heron’s food store in Sherwood instead. I’ll phone Jenny when I find out whether the nurse will call. I’m not with it at this moment. But I must stop having all these unwanted deliveries.
Confused? Me? Yes!

I did something I’d not done in a while  as I hastened to get to the intercom in time to admit the delivery driver. Not that it bothered me; naturally, I laughed it off with gay abandonment.

The driver put the things in the boxes without any hesitation for me. And I placed them in the hallway. It was a learning curve for me emptying the bins. Cause I was blown away if I could remember making the order in the first place. Obviously, it must have been done during one of the prolonged seizures last week. I put the cleaning materials in junk room three. Then, I emptied the box; why did I order two packets of microwave sausages? I’ve already got a packet of frankfurters in the fridge! And I got desserts when I’ve got all those jellies in the refrigerator? And I got more bacon and different types of bread rolls! I’m losing it here! There is no doubt about it. Inchy’s lost it!
The fridge is looking fuller now, and with Carer Chris’s help, I discovered that I have another delivery coming tomorrow!
I think I need help.

Depressed now. Fed up, confidence shattered. Feelings of self-hating and embarrassment flooded over me.

I photographed the evening view and went back to writing this blog post. I’m not sure how I feel now. I would generally have been so angry with myself. But now I just feel depressed at my inability to control my own actions and life. Cognitive Impairment Iris, Diabetic Doreen Dementia and FND have beaten me.

Carer Chris made his next-to-last call. I continued here for a while and then sorted out a meal. Can anyone guess what the things on the food tray are? I’m not sure myself.
Thanks to this morning’s (Sat) repeated seizures and Memory-Mangling-Malcolm, with Glaucoma Gladys being in one of her foggy-misty-view modes.
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Cheers!

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Inchy: Wednesday 30th October 2024

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I don’t want anyone to think I’m jealous of their wealth & power. Or that could gladly assassinate the pensioner-killer Starmer for his heartless crippling and murdering pensioners by taking away their winter fuel allowance. Or his lying by omission to get elected. Or, his taking back-handers worth hundreds of thousands of pounds. His bland, conceited, self-wealth improving, voter-contempt, but I am.
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After yet another night of jumping awake, at 05:00, I gave up trying for the elusive sleep, and I gingerly removed the nocturnal catheter pouch, grabbed a hold of and off to the kitchen for safety checks and got the kettle on. The taps, cooker and fridge looked okay, and I had what must have been one of the longest-ever bubbly-sounding passings of wind that I can ever remember. It was pongy and two-tone at times! I diverted to the wet room without any delay.
I got seated, but nothing more than wind came out for ages. Once the motion began, I thought that would never end!
It was like wet mud to look at in the bowl. This time, it was three-coloured: black spots with light and dark brown.

Cleaning it up took me years. I managed to knock over, and he fell against the floor cabinet. I then had one less bottle of the Glaucoma Latanoprost eye drops; the cap shot off.

MAYHEM – POWER CUTS
At this stage of writing this, I had a power cut! I lost all my notes and reminders, but I did get some photos, and such mayhem and panic have not hit me so badly in ages.
I was stuck in total darkness; it was late evening then.
The notes from earlier in the day were found, but not the late ones that were on Word, which got lost in a total of four Poer-Cuts suffered over a three-hour period.
Obviously, I could not do any blogging or emailing anything on the computer until Thursday morning. (Now)

POWER-CUT DISASTER STORIES
1️⃣ I was cooking the meal. Sudden darkness, absolute darkness. Panic gripped me. I searched for the mobile and wind-up torch. At that time, I could not find the torch. So, had to use the light of the mobile to get around. My intention was to make sure the cooker had been turned off. Then I realised that things were worse than I thought. The battery on the mobile was weakening, and I needed it to call for help because the Alarm Alert line & landlines were not working. I rang the preciously kind Jenny to ask for advice on getting help. I didn’t know the numbers to ring. Jenny, being Jenny, bless her, said she would come up to have a look. She’d just got out of the shower. I felt embarrassed. 

2️⃣ Jenny came in; I didn’t hear her, and she did something on the power box, and the power came back on. I told her what I was doing, and she spoke with someone on the back-on-line emergency alert line again. She turned off the cooker at the box. Told me not to use it until it’s been checked over. She
said, ‘I’m was to ring her in ten minutes to update her on the situation’. I’d be lost without Jenny. 

3️⃣ Ten minutes later, the power went off again. This time, I was again in the kitchen, and as it was dark, I turned to get the stick, tripped on something, and fell, hitting my face on the radiator. Jenny returned again. She reset the power and asked if I’d used the cooker, which I hadn’t. The power was now restored by Jenny, and the telephones & alarm came back on. Jenny spoke with them again. Jenny reminded me not to use the cooker, but I could use the microwave. 

4️⃣ I started to sort out a different meal that could be cooked in the microwave, and the Power died again! Jenny came to the rescue once more! She restored the power supply yet again and told me she would report things to the authorities for me in the morning. If it does go off again, I was to ring her. Reminding me not to use the kettle or cooker.

Thankfully, the power stayed on, and I finished the oddly cooked beef in black bean sauce. Cleaned up the kitchen and settled to eat the meal, watching ‘Heartbeat’ on the TV. Thinking about how things would have gone without Jenny’s help. Precious, inestimable, & helpful. ♥

The following may be out of order, with part of the reminders lost in the power cuts, but these things did occur. I think.

Carers Shaquille, Israel & Kimberly called. Kimberly helped me get an appointment with the doctor and the Chemist for the flu jab sorted for me. Flu Tuesday 5th Nov, and the RSC at the surgery Monday 11th Nov, in Carrington.

Yesterday, during the power failures, I lost every photograph I had previously taken and saved to file. Arghh!


Shortest blog ever on file!
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THE STATE OF INCHY

And also, I can’t use my cooker or kettle,
I still can’t manually pittle,
Electric shocks up my leg, still tingle,
The catheter tube is so painful!
My lack of sleep is diabolical,
My memory gets more fragmental,
Waiting for Glaucoma lasering at the Hospital,
Life is no longer worth being experimental,
The hot tap runs at barely a trickle,
Plans, wants & needs are theoretical,
Thoughts, hopes are unphilosophical,
Like this ode, there are unpoetical,
I’m verging on becoming pathetical,
My dreams are all sarcophagal,
Getting on my rear-end a carbuncle!
My concentration, once congenital,
It is now non-existent, gone, choplogical,
Depressions, fears, worries, self-inimical,
Mentally, life is a scramble, a scrattle…
With myself, every day, I battle,
I once socialised, now I feel extrinsical.
Life’s become eristical & demagogical!
Now, with cock-up, & outages electrical,
No kettle or stove, it ruins things gastronomical,
I need someone clever, kind, & intellectual…
A Doctor who deals with things lunatical?
To read this Poesy or Limerick,
About me being physically & mentally sick,
Use their skills of the neuropsychologic,
They may advise summat neuroradiologic?
Issue medications that may do the trick,
With mayhap periwinkle & phenobarbital,
Or operate on my sincipital?
If it was all a film, it would be tragicomical,
But, primarily pointless and illogical!.
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TTFNski!

Inanition Inchy: Wednesday 9th October 2024

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I took these two photographs of the falling rain sometime last night or, more likely, earlier this morning. I can’t recall taking them, though. I found them on the SD card when I loaded the food photo but missed putting them on yesterday’s blog. Obviously, they were snapped from the balcony through the glass windows. Yes, it was raining again in Sherwood. But we needed it.  

After staying in one position for so long overnight, as I stood up to remove the catheter night bag, Cartilage Chloe pained me like never before! She gave way, and I collapsed to the floor. No harm done; I grabbed the back of the recliner on my way down, and my knees barely touched the floor. Unfortunately, I twisted the torso and kicked off. She’s still hurting now, but mainly only when I get up to walk. Well, it’s more like a delicate walking-stick-aided hobble. Hehe!

I meandered into the balcony, to take to take a view of the end car park mudslide. An oddly blue tinge to this one, a little like Saturday morning?

Another poor-quality, shaky photograph of the front car park on Chestnut Way in front of the Woodthorpe Court flats was taken.

For the first time in months, my evacuation was in the same mode as the morning dump the day before. But this one was even bigger and more painful than Monday’s job.
After three flushes, the end of the gigantic torpedo was still sticking out of the water! I had to get a bamboo stick and break up the submarine in the water to get it to the sewer! An application of Germoloid ointment eased things.

My . The Acne & Eczema cream was applied. A blob of Germolene dabbed on the, s papules and both knees.
I left the most painful one until last. The
Dakacorting of poor Little Inchie Fungal Lesion.
Next, I olive-oiled the ears. Then, spray the tooth pain-easier on the teeth. Then I
got the Blepha Gel and were applied, I used the last of this, I must get more. Then, the Acne and Eczema cream was used.
It’s a busy business with all this medicationalisationing! Hehe!

Then, I tackled getting a shave. One mishap, I dropped the can of shaving foam, and it landed right on my ingrowing toenail on the right foot! Just four little nicks shaving.

The next four hours were spent in a seizure, haze, or I’d fallen asleep, or some combination, patches of memory, but these can’t be validated as correct. Carers are unidentified; the last two calls were done by Carer Israel. I can recall Israel taking off the diabetic socks. That’s all.

The meal was sorted out very late… in the A.M.
I’d scribbled a rating on the notepad, but I can’t recall doing it. So it must have been a feast to give it 9.3?

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I didn’t understand this at all?
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The Day That Partially Didn’t Happen

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Cheers, Each – Taketh Care

Inaniloquous Inchy: Tue 8th October 2024

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Greeted me as I finally woke up after a lengthy sleep of two hours! A smidgeon of . I was not in the bed. Well, I was, but I got out again. Back-Pain-Brenda did not like it at all. So I moved to the c1966, £300, second-hand charity-shop bought, crumb-containing, odour-retaining, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, nauseatingly beige-coloured, non-working, virus-breeding recliner. Brenda was happier there, painful still, but not by so much. Then, I removed the night bag from the catheter contraption. What an odd mixed colour it was?
I went off to get the kettle on, and I took this snap of the view out there. This one was oddly coloured as well. To my eyes, there were no clouds at all. I may have taken it in the wrong mode, I think. To the wetroom next, to visit the . Boy, was it painful! Bloody as well, my poor rear-end’s got grounded and burst by the cement like evacuating product. I was pleased at first that there was no splattering to clean up. But blood had dribbled down the legs. No winning for me. Trotsky or Conrad, one or the other extreme to cope with. It’s never an ordinary session nowadays.

I went to sort out the waste bins and took these two shots from the kitchenette window. The top one shows the shadow of the block of flats as the sun rose from the left. The bottom one is taken to the left and higher up. This shows what, to me, are incredible cloud formations. I spotted some figures in the clouds. The human face is high on the left with his big nose, and he points his finger to the right? Also, a long-beaked bird. Can you see any?

I was about to turn on the kettle when the intercom chime chimed out. It was the J Sainsbury order. I’ve already made an order for food from Asda for next week. Huh! Read on.
Got the goods in boxes, and the catheter needed gallons of water in the hallway.
Carried the boxes into the kitchen and unloaded them to put away, taking some snaps as I did so. 

The first box I emptied out contained Milk Roll Bread, Cornish pasties, lamb patties, and Lemon yoghourts. Oh, and a free can of Coke! 
The second box, which I emptied, contained Luxurious Limoncello desserts, beef slices, tomatoes, Bartlett potatoes, soft Flora spread, and bleach. Then, I tackled the third one of the boxes.
Energy drinks were not for me; they are on my ‘Forbidden Foods List’, along with so many other foods: Cranberries, pineapple, grapefruit. Barred foods: broccoli, spinach, kale, collard greens, cauliflower, sprouts, asparagus, cabbage, lettuce, chard, mustard greens, turnip greens, parsley, chickpeas, liver, egg yolks, mature cheese, blue cheese, avocado, beef liver, green tea, and Alcohol. St. John’s wort. Tuna fish in oil, as well as peanuts and peas, might cause problems. Certain vegetable oils have high amounts of vitamin K. Foods that are low in vitamin K include roots, bulbs, tubers, & some fruits.
The type of clotting factor that Warfarin interferes with is called the vitamin K-dependent clotting factor. Warfarin works by decreasing the amount of vitamin K in your body. Without enough vitamin K to use, the vitamin K-dependent clotting factor can’t help your blood to clot like it should.
Avoid: Antibiotics ciprofloxacin or fluconazole. Seizure drugs, Ibuprofen, Fluoxetine, Aspirin, Clopidogrel, Hepain, Gingko Biloba, garlic, Co-enzyme Q10,
TIPS:
Some serious side effects of warfarin can include excessive bleeding from wounds and death of skin tissue. This is caused by small blood clots blocking oxygen flow to your skin. Toe pain can be a symptom of skin death.
Pain, swelling, and redness in your legs. Difficulty breathing, Chest pain, Trouble moving your limbs, Trouble seeing, walking, or speaking. (Well, I’ve all of them!)
Check your toes often, especially if you feel discomfort, and contact your doctor as soon as possible if you experience pain. 

Hahaha! If? Hehehe!

I lost the plot there, sorry!

I finished making the waste bags and putting them near the flat’s door, then returned to the computer to ensure that things would work. I hope!

Within minutes, the intercom buzzed again. I thought the Asda driver had forgotten something, or maybe the Social Lady was visiting… I hoped! But it was neither. It was the Asda order for next week that had arrived! 
WHAT A PLONKER!
I’ve done it again—I ordered two food deliveries in the same week, and even worse, I ordered them for the same day and time! 
Depression Derek Dawned!

The driver put the goods into boxes and bags for me. He had to shoot off; he was miles behind with his schedule of deliveries. Poor chap. He left the boxes in the hallway for me. And I sorted them out in the kitchenette – with a definite feeling of de-ja-vu! Marmite cheese, beef slices, lemon fool, and lemon curd desserts are on view. Three ready-made meals, Cumberland pie, Shepherds pie and a Lamb Hot Pot. A BBQ pork pie, a reasonable price that, a third off the regular price! Lamb pattie, and half-price imitation chicken, cooked chicken pieces. 
Getting them into the already full fridge was a work of art. As you can see from the photo on the left, I took a picture of the fridge’s contents. I hope I can read the sell-by dates without dropping something as I manoeuvre them around to read them. Two Carers had been by the time I started this blog well into the afternoon.

I had already used Ccleaner twice and dared not use it again when a Memory-Shortage warning appeared on the screen. This depressed me more than it had before, and I gave up on the computer and made a meal. I took a terrible photo of it. Nice though!
I walked into the doorframe as I took the things to wash in the kitchen. Then, 2 I dropped the plastic plate, and it cracked. 
Instant fatigue and brain fog came on as I sat down in the c1966, £300 pound, second-hand charity-shop-bought, crumb-containing, odour-retaining, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, nauseatingly beige-coloured, non-working, virus-breeding recliner, to watch some TV. I felt sure I was going to drift off into a deep sleep. But, No! I sat there, unaware of anything I was doing, and going off into… I don’t know the word for this. I was going into deep thoughts of the past and imagining the future. It was weird, and I knew it was, but I went along with it, hoping that sleep would arrive. But Sweet Morpheus didn’t come, despite my seemingly feeling even more tired and in need of it.
After an hour or so, Carer Chris arrived. I did not move from the recliner for his visit, and I don’t know what we discussed.
I continued with the long-gone and future thoughts. Occasionally, while trying to watch TV, I had several quick nod-offs, but not many.
I assumed another hour had gone when Chris arrived for his last call, five hours later!
I recall him saying, “You’ve not moved out of this chair since my last visit, have you?” I agreed, asking him how he knew.
“Your legs are in the same position on the chair as when I left you!” I still have not moved from the recliner. He took off my socks as I lay there with my feet up on the chair.
After Chris departed, I thought I’d better get up and do something, despite having a sleepless five or six hours doing sod-all apart from having fears of the past and fantasies for the future… I then swiftly fell asleep. I woke up with a jump, thinking I’d only just nodded off, only to find it was 06:00 hrs in the morning. I made notes to remind myself of events and rose up to remove the catheter pouch. After that long stay in one position, Cartilage Chloe pained me like never before! Chloe gave way, and I collapsed to the floor.

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TTFNski!

Inabilities Inchy: Wednesday 2nd October 2024

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I woke up, finding my disgustingly jelly-bellied body in the second-hand, £300, c1968, overwhelmingly sickening beige-coloured, tatty, uncomfortable, wobbly, germ-producing, falling to pieces, food residue collecting recliner. So, I didn’t make it to the bed, then. Then, I drifted off to sleep again. Waking once more at 03:50hrs. I think I started to muse over the doctor’s visit on Saturday and all the problems I’ve got to get over to get there… then drifted off into the land of nod. Waking up at 06:10hrs. I then went into semi-panic mode! Gotten-Himmel! I’ve got the Ocado order arriving between 06:00 & 07:00hrs! I fumbled out of the recliner and hastily removed the nocturnal catcher bag.
Then, I sped… well, hobbled as quickly as I could to the wet room, for annoyingly, I needed a wash and freshen up, and even more botheringly, to use the Porcelain Throne. Just my luck, Trotsky Terence was back in control of the evacuation. Panic mode is stage 3 now. I was trying to get the things cleaned up to avoid missing the delivery, and I couldn’t hear the door chime in the wet room. No new pants were on, so I left the old ones on and got a fresh dressing gown. 
I stayed in the kitchen and hallway, got the waste bags, and ensured the return bags were handy.
I took a snap of the view and checked the weather. I can hear the buzzer in there. 
There was no rain, but we had some more in the night. I know that because I nipped onto the balcony to check the mudslide situation in the car park.
As I came back in, I confirmed that Doreen Dementia had me by the goolies. I realised that the time now was 05:45hrs!!! I’ll change the battery on the clock letter. Humph!
Ten minutes later, the door chime chimed as the delivery arrived. The driver put the bags through the door for me. Asking if I was alright, Adding, You’re looking a little pale, mateI thought I was doing okay given the panic modes, Trotsky Terence, dirty PPs on, and the lesion bleeding. Haha!
I started unloading the bags. As you can some good stuff was delivered today. The cream cakes were not for me. No, really! Everything in this photo was, though. Yummy!
Yellow tomatoes, Polish-cooked bacon, lemon mousse, yoghourt, and fresh garden peas—slurp! Boczek and classic bacon. They tasted so excellent!

The peas are Nigerian. I’m hoping things go well today so I can make a good nosh of small roast potatoes, some peas, and bacon before midnight. But it didn’t work out. I’ve had computer problems all day long. It’s already 21:25hrs, and I’m only up to here. To say all I’ve had come, the fridge didn’t look overfull. But it’s quality, not quantity.
I’ve got plenty of bladder juice, mind you. I’ve got some cordial, a lemon and a lime for when I get sick of drinking plain water.
I flavoured a bottle of Highland Spring water and put it in the cabinet near my knees when I’m on the computer. It has non-opening drawers and doors that have fallen off. It’s beginning to make worrying creaking noises, but when I remove the hearing aids, the noise disappears.
I then got some of the mini-potatoes to roast later on. I’m sure I’ll get time before the early morning hours. Tsk!
I cut out the cooking instructions and timing from the bag and left it on the tray with the potatoes. However, I fear it may result in me having a bag of crisps and falling asleep.

I spent hours changing things on the computer to save memory. When it started refusing to save graphics again, I used Ccleaner. Everything has to be turned off while it does a check and clean-up. This means every program I use after the scan needs to be signed into again!
More time lost… but it got even better… the lousy luck, I mean! Excel does not allow me to save anything; the same goes for MS Word! So, I can’t do the Health Checks anymore; I mean, record them. Eventually, I could save again. Then CorelDraw Crashed! This time, a box came up for me to tell them what I was doing when it crashed. I told them uncertainly what I thought of their ‘miserably pathetic service I’m being charged for’. I offered them some advice, pointing out that I wish to leave, get out of the contract, and find a graphic package that may let me work and work itself! But they have never replied to the dozens of complaints I’ve made previously.

I’m going to have to cut things short. Here are my quick notes and the photos I have left. Carer Shaquille, then Carer Sam, and Carer Kara, who took a minute to search for and find the night bags that I’d assured her three Carers and I  had searched for without any luck. She found them in minutes! She is good! 
CarerPromise did the last two calls.
A JS’s order for next week was done.
Photographicalisations of the changing sky views throughout the day. The sun came through for a while as if to just say ‘Hello’ to me. Hehe!

On his last call, Carer Promise medicated me and took off the diabetic socks for me.

I can’t continue for much longer. I’m tired and hungry. Making the planned meal will be complicated and time-consuming, but I hope it will also be delicious.
I can hope. Haha! I asked Carer Promise not to put the nocturnal pouch on yet, as carrying it and the stick while cooking my meal would be awkward. He left it on the bed for me.

This snap is from this morning when I had my mug of Glengettie. No, it was Thompson’s Punjana tea and four dunked bikkies.

I’m going to start the cooking process now. I’ll try to read some comments while the potatoes are roasting. A flood of comments has come in, and I don’t want to miss replying to either of them.

CONTENTS:
Roast Potatoes – Urgh!
Garden Peas – Okay
Red Onions – Good
Tomatoes – Nice
Boczek – Grrreat!

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TTFN

Adscititious Inchy: Monday 23rd September 2024

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Inchy stirred and realised that the electric shocks from the ankle, Back-Pain-Belinda, and Dizzy Dennis had not paid him any visits overnight. He was impressed! The sore-lipped old chap staggered from his bed later to check if he had left a cooker or tap on. He had to divert to the Porcelain Throne, carrying his nocturnal catheter pouch and walking stick with him due to the possibility of not getting to the wet room in time. He did, but it was a close call! There were the usual apparent signs of his needing an urgent evacuation, including the gurgling from his innards, which he swears he could hear. And that was without his hearing aids! He sensed that the product was on its way before he opened the door, and to stop the flow, he had to sit on the plastic seat post-haste for a while to delay things. Messy, very messy! But what got to him was how much it hurt him. Good Heavens, it was almost liquid; how come that was painful? Ah, well! He cleaned everything up and went to the kitchen to check the taps, stove, fridge doors, etc., and get the kettle on. Inchy will take over now. Hehe!

Everything was okay in the kitchen. I did think it looked a little dark out there this morning. When I turned the light off for a better look, Boy, it was misty. I took some Kodak snaps of the view. The pictures came out much lighter than they looked to the naked eye. When I opened the window, I was in double shock. One was seeing myself in the mirror’s reflection and how pale I looked, and then I saw the clock. It was only 03:30hrs. So, I’d only be in bed for two hours. I’ll suffer later in the day but will try to stay awake. Tsk! It was drizzling outside, and a hazy mist lingered at ground level in the darkness. At that moment, I felt pretty perky. But that didn’t last for long!

Then I realised I’d left the nocturnal pouch in the wet room and had not emptied it as I thought I had. So, I emptied it. It did seem the logical thing to do. Not too bad a colour, but a few minutes later, when Carer Richard turned up, he said it was a five. Medications were given, and he checked the stock available. He could not ring the District Nurses about my shortage of Catheter bags cause it was too early, and he was on his last call with me.

I had a go at the blog after Richard had left, but I was soon getting all het-up again! CorelDraw was not saving anything with a new name. Oh, dear, now I’m sinking in spirit! 

This soon became a Dracula Depression when the SD card reader started playing up. A CorelDraw message told me, “An IO fault was stopping CorelDraw from recognising the unknown file.” Of course, I had no idea what an IO fault meant. So I went on Google and asked. “It is usually a fault with a material connection, but it can mean anything else!” 
I see! Well, I didn’t really.

I gave up and started the ablutioning. Which went very well indeed. In fact, getting the diabetic night socks off was the most challenging part. No, no, it was the second most challenging part. I did the peripheries first, then the medications. Little Inchies Fungal Lesion was the most painful job. Second was getting the socks off. I stood in a bowl with some disinfectant and shower gel in hot water and started to get the shaving done. A body scrub, then the teeth were done. Rear-end Germolened, Folds of flesh acne & eczema ointmented. The nasal spray was sprayed, and eye drops were inserted and sprayed with the Mydriacyl®. The barrier cream was applied to the testicles, underarms and leg tops. Phorpain Gel is rubbed into the knees and cartilage areas on both legs. Olive oiled the earholes, and then I had a good clean-up of the wetroom… Mop , as I lost my balance and grabbed a hold of the nearest solid support available; the sink and the mop is now in two pieces. 
I could not believe my rotten, never-ending, lousy luck, but it happened to me! However, up to this point, I still think today has been lucky for me.
I try to explain my ailments and problems to people, and while I feel ignored, I can understand folks being disbelievers. I really can. I would not have believed myself thirty years ago. That doesn’t make sense, does it?

I’m back on the computer again. The graphic problems make it hard work, dispiriting, frustrating, and sometimes infuriatingly maddening.

Carer Chloe arrived. I meant to ask her to get the socks on my legs. It’s getting nippy in here now. The fog is still out there, and the odd fine shower is pouring down. But I also wanted Chloe to call and ring the District Nurses to order some more nappies… no, no… I mean catheter bags, nocturnal and short-leg-gay pouches. I’m on my last night bag tonight. I did ask someone last week who did their best but ran out of time, telling me she’d ring later and let me know. She might not be back at work yet. But I can’t run out of bags again… PLLLEASE! It could kill me. (Ah, I see now! Hehe!) Chloe is going to ask Warden Deana if she can help. Do you ever get that feeling that someone doesn’t like you? Fair enough, I’m ready. Well, peeved off! Hahaha!

INCHES BONUS ODES TO LIFE 

The mist & rain doth fall,
It looked almost anatomical,
Needing rain is apodictical,
But it’s unpredictable… 
Like Earth, it’s apocryphal,
Is nature cerebral?
Aren’t floods terrible?
Nature, we must coddle…
Humankind is daedal,
Nature; extracorporeal,
Life can be excrementitial…
Driving us demential!
What a load of doggerel!

LIFE when one gets DECREPIT

Today was more frustrating than any in the year,
I wanted to be adopted: no one would volunteer, 
One grows grumblier, grumpier, grungier…
Life gets klutzier, knottier, & crabbier, 
Life does not get cushier but eerier, 
Disabilities, we get weaker & wearier, 
Ever changing: long gone, it was simpler,
No wonder we get nigglier, 
We don’t fit in; we feel lower, freakier.
Never again to drop ’em. & sit on a photocopier!

Har-Har!
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Well, I couldn’t!

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Going to make some nosh now.

A NEW HIGHEST TASTE RATED MEAL!
Three mini sliced wholemeal rolls slathered with butter, sliced tomatoes, and a sprinkle of sea salt, with some sliced, seasoned cooked Belly pork from Poland. Branston sauce in a pot to dip the food before it went heavenly into my mouth and gullet. Garden peas and potato pieces baked in the oven with a hint of liquid smoke flavouring, and vinegar and liquid sea salt added. I ate it deliberately and slowly,
highly pleasing my taste buds.
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Bye-Bye

Wuggabugger Inchy: Thursday 19th September 2024

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After a wonderful night’s sleep of about an hour, the Fire Alarm went off. Oh, I am a fool. I’ve already written about the alarm in yesterday’s blog. At the time of starting this writing (15:20 hrs), I’ve already dealt with some of the expected visitors. And must now find the stamina and desire to continue until the last callers arrives. Only the cardiac murmur nurses left to  arrive. Then maybe, I think, the TV Bailiffs may come. ‘At any hour of any day’, as they put it in their letter. Mind you, I also forgot about Window Cleaner Joe coming today. Talk about being confused… well, you weren’t, but I was. Haha!
I had so many people calling and ringing up throughout the day. I think Concentration Conrad enjoyed it.
I’ll have to do another quick job. I don’t know when the Nurses will arrive, so I’ll get on with the photos. I fang You!

The urine was not so dark, but then again, I got woken up by the alarm, and I ferreted around each room to find the cause. So it was like a morning exercise for me. No luck—HAHAHA! No luck, as if I needed to tell you that!
Got the ablutions tended to. No chance of getting back to sleep… sleep? Sleep? Oh, yes, I remember it now.

Oh! Nothing has moved all day yet.

Then Window Cleaner Joe arrived. I opened the door, and the moment I saw him, I remembered that he was due today. Tsk!

Carer Christopher arrived. It got me medicated, and the diabetic sock is on for me. I told him of my struggle last night to get the lid off the beetroot jar. Carer Israel called, and he took of the cap without any bother. I can remember the times when everyone would bring such problems to me to solve. Things change.

I started working on yesterday’s blog update, which I was still working on hours later when Carer Kimberley visited. I asked her if she could call the nurses to order more day and night catheter bags, impressing the short-leg version, and ask for some of the muslin pouches if available. I gave her the wrong number; Kara used to sort everything out. Kimberley, but no one has told her, and I couldn’t advise her. They told her to ring a number. But she didn’t have time. I thought she was doing the Health & Bank (Not that she can, until Kara swaps the names with the bank). Kimberley said she’d ring them later. Thank you, gal.

I’m back on the blog, but with all the Catheter and Bank problems, along with worrying about the nurses and the TV License team calling, concentration was minimal.

The Deep Vein Thrombosis nurse came next; she was in and out quickly, taking my best pen with her! Took blood and my pen! Hehehe!

Then, the Iceland order arrived.
Four items were substituted. 
One of them was the mini-plum top mates. They’d substituted a pack of four heavy, underripe tomatoes bigger than golfballs. They were that heavy, which indicates little juice but plenty of flesh… I took care not to drop any when putting them away. They would probably break a toe if they landed on my foot. Good job. I’ll get a drill and hacksaw. (Sarcasm)
I did get ready and microwaveable beef meals in rich stout gravy. I’m having one tonight if I ever get the unstarted blog done
. Head spinning, I sorted the other stuff out.
After jiggling the products to make room for them, I got the bread into the freezer.

The Cardiac Nurses arrived. I greeted them with a smile and Good evening. They got me on the bed, stripped my top half, and set up the worryingly technical-looking scanner system. It only took about 40 minutes, and it was all done. I had to keep silent and not move during the process. Me! Not talk or move for all that time! shook a bit, and they had to start again. I may have sulked a little when they told me off for moving. Haha!

The print-out must have been 6ft long on the machine. The nurse with the lovely stubby legs said they do not do analysis; that’s done at the hospital. I will get the results tomorrow. They were kind enough to take a nibble and drinkie. I love to thank them that bit special.

1710:hrs: I’m on with the blogging up to here. But I need food and, even more importantly now, sleep.

Carer Chris kindly didn’t disturb me too much during his last call. He took the socks off, and no medications were needed. I think we had a little natter.

Forced myself to get up and get the belated nosh sorted out.

I did better with the earlier sunset photo, though.

Finally, I got onto the bed for a glorious uninterrupted
7 hours of blissful sleep!
Waking up was the problem. Hehe!

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I got two in twenty minutes. Swim & pool.

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Fare & Fair thee all well!

Abessive Inchy: Sunday 15th September 2024

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BONUS CARTOONS
I LOVE THESE!
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Nocturnal Urine, too dark again.

Must get the quilt washed somehow.

Blue morning.

Constipation this time. Tsk!

The hook slipped off of the shower curtain again this morning. I couldn’t reach up to put it back on.
Another mess, water sprayed all over.

Rain again.

Late nosh. Not so good.

Series of late afternoon shots of the sky.

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We’ve gone beyond reality..
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Architectonically…

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TaTa for now
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Phlogogenetic Inchy: Tuesday 10th September 2024

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TOP OF THE MORNING!

I got my head down last night, about 01:00hrs. I woke up at 01:15hrs. Nodded off again, waking up with an streaking up my right leg that nearly me nudged out of the bed. I’m sure I heard a buzzing coming from the leg and bottom! Luckily, I hit my head on the anti-fall bar. But sleep was out of the question. 
I tried, but the shocks were coming so often I gave up and went on the computer. Once on there, the shocks stopped. But I was concentrating on just for once, getting the blog finished earlier, sooner, quicker. When I eventually realised that they were no longer coming, well, the odd one now and then, it was too late to get back in bed cause the carer would be here in a couple of hours. So, I decided to get the ablutions done. No showering; the noise from the drain would wake those below me up. I extracted the nocturnal pouch from the catheter. The shocks had at least made me pass more wee-wee. Hahaha! 
Expecting reluctance from Constipation Conrad, I got in the wet room and picked up the crossword book. It wasn’t needed or used. Tsk! I casually but carefully got the PPs off and sat on the plastic seat.
Well, no torpedoes today; there was no doubt that Trotsky Terence had regained command of things rear-end-wise. The porcelain filled up with what looked like Oxo cubes, but Kharki, not brown, and many of them.
Getting cleaned up, washing the lower regions, and then getting the fresh PPs on was as difficult and painful as ever. It took me so long that I feared the Carer’s time was coming, so I rushed the shaving and body wash. The same goes for medications. The results were four shaving nicks and one deep cut. A stubbed toe – miraculously, I didn’t knock the ingrowing toenail! Also, I forgot to do the teeth. I got a long Kaghoule on and went into the kitchen, fancying a mug of Glengettie. 
I took these photos, although they were not good ones, of the morning view. I went to turn on the computer, but I got distracted by the noise from the baby alarm in the hallway. I never made the brew!
It was some mail that made the noise I heard. I was not in such a good mood then. A damned depression came on instantly as I realised the things I needed help with sorting for the letters. HMG sent three of them! (TV licence), the bank (2) and an unopened one after the shock of the first few. As I got on the computer, a barrage of painful… well, no, they just made me jump, but this time went on and on at me. This encouraged me to look up the cause of these shocks on the computer and find out if there was any help. There are some sites in America, but not the NHS. I spent far too long looking this up. The Carer arrived relatively late, not that it mattered. I mentioned the problem of the shocks, and she tried to help me with a problem from XL. Carer Sham, it was a nice gal. When she left, she took the laundry bag with her. I’m surprised I remembered that. Haha! 
I did a search and copied some information that I found.

Phytoestrogens?
But it informed me what I should eat and drink to help.
Soya beans & chickpeas, yes, I eat them two.
Flax – What’s that?
Broccoli berries have been barred for me by the cardiac team. 
It is too high in vitamin K. Tea is limited to two cups daily by Urology.

Advice: to keep moving. I’m bending down all day, emptying the catheter bag.
Cut out beer and nicotine. I did that in 1975. Eat Omega, found in fish. Last month I bought some smoked haddock, and very nice it was, but it was only a half fillet, & cost me over £6!
So, it seems that when they throw my cadaver in the fire on my way to St Peter’s gate, there might be more sparks and flames than there usually are? I must warn the crematoria. Hehehe!

We had a drop of rain this afternoon to teatime.
I got the Kodak out and took these three view shots into the balcony.
The rain didn’t last long… Sounds like something the wife used to say to me. Haha! 

I turned the oven on to heat up. I’d forgotten about the fresh beer-battered chips in the fridge. They are labelled “Use by yesterday,” but I’ll risk it. And a ready-made Shepherd’s Pie with a root vegetable potato topping. I made the nosh. It has a delightful flavour.
I ate it slowly and savoured every mouthful.

The evening view was one of those ‘everything-had-brown’ in it. Great!
I fell asleep in the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner.

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