Blood-Pressure better – Inchie Today

Inchie: Sunday 1st March 2026

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Whoopsiedangleplops, Accifauxpas, Errors, Dark, Dank Depression Darius, Tumbles, Frustrationes, Mistakes, Embarrassments, Humiliations, Explosion, etc.
Each of the daily emotionally challenging visitors above seems to be an embedded, permanent aspect of Inchie’s daily life. (Well, I say life, life, that may be an extended pretence for his existence & struggles as he continues to survive, wondering what for & why.) Inchie can’t recollect the word he was going to use at this precise moment. Today’s main offenders were:
Whoopsiedangleplops, Accifauxpas, and
Depression Darius. Much of the day’s events will be missing or brief due to the inordinately long time it took to implement countermeasures after the explosion. I used the word explosion here to catch your attention. Hehe!
Not to mention the pain caused to Bad-Back-Brenda, Fractured Knee Frank, and a new head injury incurred when sorting out the after-effects of the calamity.
Hope that got you wanting to know more with bated breath? The clean-up operation took me over three hours! With another hour & a half worth of help from the Carer on three of his calls. The entire flat has a sweet, pungent whiff floating about this morning, seventeen hours after the incident was cleaned up.
The volatile liquid covered the whole kitchen floor… more later, in between the usual boring stuff I pen.
Have I whetted your appetite for the story?
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A lousy night’s sleep, broken waking, worrying, nodding off, waking, worrying, farting, nodding off, waking, belching, Shaking Shoulder Shirley belting away, nodded off, woken up this time by Twitching Neck Ted, fell asleep…. Enough of that.

Ejaz arrived, medications given, a full-body check, Phorpain gelled, toes and ankles creamed and medicated. Fresh socks put back on.

Care Mizra called. Pouch checked & emptied. Painkillers and Peptac given. I mentioned the NCC email needing clarification at a council link. He got it up and led me through filling it in. Which was great. Had he not been helping, there were times, if I’d tried to do it on my own, I’d have made errors. Saved the day, got it done. Thanks, Mizra!

Although I didn’t realise it at the time, had I done so, hours and hours of painful, Accifauxpa-inducing cleaning up the mess could have been avoided.
Which verifies my rotten luck, I’m always getting up to investigate noises; was it the tao overflowing, the water alarm, had something fallen over, etc. and always (but not this time, Oh, no! I could spit) check!

NOW, THE HAPPENINGS BEGIN!
As Mizra departed, I thought I heard a noise, similar to when someone doesn’t fully shut the door, and as they opened the foyer door to the lift area, the flat door slammed shut in the draft. It was just like that sound, so I didn’t even give it much thought. I was getting back into doing the Ode for the blog.
A mistake that cost me so much angst, pain, and took me hours to clean up… As I stood up, about an hour later, to make a brew, I could smell something but not identify it. To the kitchenette door and stopped so suddenly, I dropped the walking stick. All I could see in the kitchen was what I thought was water covering 80% of the floor! A panic came… I started shuddering and shaking, but knew that I needed to turn off the tap, which meant walking into the deep water. So I did. Walking stickless in my haste. One step into the kitchen, I saw that the tap was not running. I looked up at the ceiling for signs of incoming water, but there were none. Then the smell hit me, and I felt giddy. I realised then that it was bleach. I looked at where I’d left the 5-litre container of thick bleach, seeing it on the floor, burst open. I thought casually as I recalled then, ‘Well, that’s me in the shit – Again!’
Damned good job that I had so many rolls of kitchen towels at hand. I threw them into the water as best I could to help soak up the bleach. Then foolishly stepped forward to get the paper to go all the way into the kitchen, and all but slipped over on the thick bleach. I used about five kitchen rolls’ worth of paper and intended to give it a few minutes, then see if it was safe to add more paper. Then realised that my Kagoule and dressing gown had made contact with the bleach! They were rotting away as I looked at them. I strangely thought this could make a horror movie that people would believe, Hehe!
BUT IT GOT WORSE!
I withdrew from the battleground into the wet room, tore off my dressing gown and Khagoule, and placed them in plastic bags for the rubbish chute.
Had a rinse, and got another dressing gown on, as I did, there must have been some bleach dripped onto the floor, which my foot found and Whoopsiedangleplop, down I went, oddly enough, catching and activating my alarm wristlet as I crumpled onto the shower chair. Struggling up onto my feet again, I heard the NCC monitor controller speaking. Went to the room and said I just had a tumble setting the alarm off at the same time. But, no. I explained about the bleach, and she asked ARE YOU INJURED – No! “We can do nothing about your water. Wait until a Carer comes. When is one due?” About 2-hours. If it is a leak, call our maintenance or repairs.
Thank you, kindly, [Tut], I rang off.
Back to the kitchen and spread some more paper towels to help soak up some of the bleach, left it for a few minutes, then went back to gather what I could into waste bags.
Have another go with fresh towelling, and then I began the slow, painful job of mopping and rinsing out the mop often. This involved rinsing the mop in the sink with cold water, then using the wetroom tap to part-fill the bucket for another pass over the floor. Naturally, the bucket needed to be rinsed after each use. Using a small jug to get the water from the sink to the bucket. The smell got to me again, and I kept feeling a bit giddy. I did this six times in all. I had opened the windows. This snap on the right was how it looked on the fifth attempt. I was in a lot of pain by then. Back, shoulder and a new bruise on my head. As I collected the last of what I could, I had to leave the areas between the cupboards, the stove, and the fridge; it was just too painful to get down that far. I filled three more big bags with the bleached, covered towels, bringing the current total of eight bags taken to the refuse chute. I pressed on with mopping the kitchen, but that bleach wouldn’t come out at all, without a fight.

On the bright side, it cleaned up my fingernails nicely. Even if it did ruin my new dressing gown, slippers and Khagoule, all waste-shutting with a few words RIP style proffered as I sent them 12 stories down in the chute, to the big bins below.
I only bought you both a month ago,
It’s so sad to see you have to go,
Hope it doesn’t hurt you, though,
When you land twelve floors below!

Carer Ejaz finally arrived, and I told him of how my blog-writing time had been further deprived. Showed him these photos and told him of what I’d been through, the time lost, the pain, and the frustration. Yet, amazingly, nae astoundingly, nae, mind-bogglingly, a miracle… had not dawned or visited me, yet! Yes, I was angry, a smidgeon sorry for myself, maybe. There was certainly an inkling of self-sympathy lurking in my mind.
But when the air had cleared, the blood had bled, the pains subsided, and Ejaz stuck into helping, and the kitchen was beginning to look clearer and safer, I had a short, curt visit from,

When I sat down after Ejaz had departed, I anticipated falling into the wonderfully welcoming arms of Sweet Morpheus. But, No! Fractured Knee Frank, Back-Ache Brenda, & Shuddering -Shoulder Shirley, kicked off at the same time. It was like someone turning a pain switch on, instant agony. I thought it was bad enough while doing the bending, but now it is worse than ever, as Victor Meldrew’s catch phrase went. I Do Not Believe It! When Ejaz returned for his last call, he had planned to tidy the kitchen, but didn’t. Why?
He recognised the state I was in purely pain-wise.
Ejaz took a snap of the little bruise on my head for his records at ICC. Then he made some instant mash, cheese with ketchup and sausage for my meal. Not wanting me to get up from the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, Catheter-tube-trapping recliner. He even suggested I don’t move into the bed, rather stay where I am, the effort of climbing into bed he feared would set off the other ailments.
Also snapped shots of the view from the kitchen window for me, since he knows I like to take them for the blog. The Carers have been a treasure for me today. And how, why, did Deep Dark Depression Darius stay away? He did get one fleeting visit in, but was it worth his efforts? I think not. But I pray tomorrow that he keeps away.
Perhaps I was so busy, and in so much pain, he didn’t feel the need to get at me as much? Nae!

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Inchy: Sunday 4th May 2025

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Grim: Ayup, what yer up to dumbo?
Inchy: Photoing the sunset, catching it low.
Grim: You like nature, don’t you?
Inchy: I used to like women, but now it’s a no-no!
Grim: How does it help, watching the sun go?
Inchy: It doesn’t, no cuddles or fandango…
No sex or snogging makes me feel so low,
Grim: There’s nowt I can do to help though!
Inchy: A bit of good news? Should I try Ginko?
Grim: Nae, it’s no good, does nowt for you!
Inchy: News? Is there owt I should know?
Grim: I’ll soon be telling yer to get ready to go!
Inchy: That’s alright, I want to talk to St Peter,
Grim: Oh, he’s a proper keen abnegator…
Inchy: Are you saying he’s real… St. Peter?
Grim: I shouldn’t really tell yer…
as you’ll croak out sooner rather than later,
Inchy: Yes, yes, okay, please tell me…
Grim: I really shouldn’t oughter…
St Peter was invented by a Grim Reaper,
Inchy: You? Was it you who invented Peter?
Grim: Well, yes, I had to make it obscure,
So earthlings would never be sure…
Inchy: Yes, yes, yes, tell me more…
Grim: I’d hate victim’s death to be vin ordinaire,
Inchy: I think you really care!
Grim: I do, I do, look at what we share!
Neither of us can have sexual rumpy-pumpy,
Inchy: Very accurate, not our fault, amazingly,
Grim: We’ve no friends apart from each other,
Inchy: Yes, all and sundry can, annoyingly…
Grim: Starmer is our mutual archenemy,
Inchy: True, spot-on accuracy!
Grim: Neither of us show animosity…
Although we both share an animosity,
Inchy: Do we really?
Grim: Yes, towards Heaven & Hell surprisingly,
You accept death most acquiescingly!
Inchy: That’s cause life’s gone miserably,
Grim: They’ll rebirth me, non-consentingly,
With no freaking regrets or apology!
Inchy: The swine, absolutely!
Grim: 2000 years plus, I’ve been reaping!
Without stopping or ever sleeping,
Not one soul collected ever went missing…
Inchy: They’ve treated you abominably…
Grim: Hence, I share your misery, Inchy,
Inchy: Anything I can do to help, possibly?
Grim: We face futures brokenheartedly,
You for not dying, me for reliving…
Inchy: What are you saying?
Grim: When you die, I’ll not collect your soul,
Inchy: Can you not make an appeal?
Grim: To God or the Devil, you cannot appeal,
Even I don’t know if they’re real…
their decision sends me apoplectical,
your world, soon to be mine, is adumbral,
Inchy, what should I be anticipating?
Inchy: Gun crime, motor vehicle crime,
breaking & entry, Islamophobic crime,
homophobic crime, wars, Transgender crimes.
starvations, price rises, bent politicians,
Oligarchs, illuminati, global-warmings,
financial greed, bumfuzzling, pickpocketing,
transgressions, sexual deviations & violations,
depravities, injuries, scandals, altercations,
lawbreaking, delinquencies, corruptions,
injustices, illegalities, death, criminalities,
murders, sins, atrocities, evils, abominations,
monstrosities, cybercrimes, manslaughters,
greed, backhanders, muggings, road raging,
armed assaults, drug wars, blackmailing,
prices rise, corporate fiddling, PM’s lying…
domestic violence, jealousy, child molesting,
antisemitic crime, rude awakenings,
Racist, religious hate crime, thieving…
Grim: Whoa, whoa… I was only joking!
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05:00hrs: I woke up; the moment I moved, I was greeted with severe pains in my left & right feet. Onychovryptosis Ingrowing Toenails, damaged during the cutting, I had to pay £35 for last Friday. Bad as the pain was, I think it was a smidgeon easier than yesterday, but that was absolute agony! I decided then not to have the diabetic socks put on today. But daren’t leave them off for too long. Or the leg growths will start to leak again. I can’t win! Haha! Honestly, I do try!
I removed and emptied the nocturnal catheter pouch. I poured some into an old clear plastic yoghourt pot for the Carer to assess the NHS colour grading chart for me later, and then I took a photo of it (5.5 on the scale).
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Moving to the kitchen after imagining that I’d done my balance exercises, I stubbed my right toe against the ottoman. A few curses, with a fair degree of swearing later, ARRGH!
The same left foot with the big toe was the problem a second time. I took a kitchenette shot en route to the wet room to visit the Porcelain Throne. Trosky’s comeback from yesterday was short-lived.
Had returned. A reluctant whopper was eventually released into the water, which needed three flushes, then a prod with a bamboo cane and a third flush to encourage it to the sewer. I hope it doesn’t cause a blockage. Hehehe!

07:00 hrs, Carer Ejaz arrived. He seemed happier today. I think my saying the socks will have to be left off and telling him why cheered him a little. The medications were issued, and he dabbed some barrier cream on the ingrowing toenails. Well, it might help. He also put some on the rough, thickening right ankle of .
Ejaz took these two shots of feet and poot little and big toes. The big toes seem to have gotten larger overnight? Is that possible? Both hallux toes also seemed to be curling beneath the other toes? Does anyone else out there have or had this before? The smaller toes seem to be more bent? Hey-Ho! Ajaz checked the torso for scabs, bruises, or wounds but found none. Well, a few new red-spot growths on the right top thigh. They come and go at will. After the lad had gone, I went to make a brew of Co-op 99 tea and took this snap on the right when I saw how the sky had reddened.

At 13:30 hrs, Carer Jasmin arrived. She examined the toes and applied some Savlon. She said the toes (the ingrowing pair) had been cut down far too much when they were cut, Jasmin said.

Carer ‘Joe’ did the teatime call; he’s a good bloke.

Baked potatoes in husks, frankfurters, and nothing else. Well, I had an ice cream cornet for afters.

Night shots of the dramatic-looking sky.
And a close-up to follow.
They had a dour beauty, do you think?

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🤎Have a bundle of glee from me!🤎
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Fiddlededee Inchy: Sunday 29th December 2024

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INCHY’S SPORTING FAILURES
Football for Oil Drum Lane Athletic,
They soon discovered I was pathetic…
I’d like to have tried something aquabatic,
But if I go near water, I panic,
Whist; for my partners, this was tragic!
They threw me out, but I was apologetic,
Weight lifting? 1st session, I looked cadaveric!
Angling Club had no wins, but I was the bus comic,
Darts, I played better, avoiding the gin & tonic,
Mt teammates christened me ‘The Dipshit’!
At that, I found I was even more chronic!
Now, at squash, I was doing well, almost dynamic,
Of course, I didn’t win any games, dammit!
Archery, not strong enough or ergonomic…
Parachuting, I did one; it was too frenetic!
Bungee Jumping, I did one, and it was fantastic!
Second go, that was something of a classic,
I ended up in the hospital when the platform split,
Gave me a skrik, it left me spasmatic,
On a machine, I think it was electrotherapeutic,
On to my time being sportingly pugilistic,
I may have been nervous, but I went ballistic…
I was too small. That was my sitch…
The first punch I took, I was kayoed out of it!
The reasons above for this ode reading are so threnodic!
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Yet again, it was a night of broken sleep. A little different, though, this time. The usual trend lately is for me to wake with a jump or jerk, as if someone had prodded me awake. Most of Saturday night’s last night’s disturbances were almost calm and serene. But there were far more of them this time. I was having the odd mini-seizure now and then, most times after waking. Working out the time was surprisingly difficult… did you ask why? Then I’ll tell yers. I first went into the land of bliss as I was watching TV, and… unbeknownst to me, I moved into the hospital bed. When I decided to get up, I wondered what the heck was happening. (Thinking that I was in the recliner) I looked at the clock and saw the wall about 4 inches from my nose! Hehehe!
I tried to stand up to remove the nocturnal catheter pouch off. For a few moments, I was baffled by the situation. As I turned and hit my head on the anti-fall bar, I realised where I was and could not find the clock.

Extracting my flabby body from the bed went great! Because both Cartilage Chloe and Carole were painless. Arthur Itis’s stiffness was letting me know about it. Once I sat on the side of the bed, I checked the clock; it was 05:10hrs. I got the bag off of the catheter. There was not much urine in it, and it was of a top-rating colour on the card.

I wanted a mug of tea, so I went into the kitchen, checked taps, etc. and took two photos of the morning view, and it was fogless for the first time in three days.
So, the pictures looked semi-decent compared to the foggy ones taken over the last few days. I decided the next job would be to get the done.

I utilised the Porcelain Throne first… well, I meant to. But Constipation Conrad prevented any motions from starting.
I realised I’d not got the tackle needed. So I fetched the bath towel and Kagoule, Kaftan, Thobe, Longshirt, or whatever you call it, from the hallway. Returned to the wet room, and showered, and shaved.
Apart from a little difficulty getting the fresh Protection Pants on, all went so well that I thought it might be a last treat from the almighty before the Grim Reaper arrives. Haha!
Also, it took only 1 hour 30 minutes from start to finish!

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All fresh, clean, and in a good mood, given how well the ablutions had gone, I went to the kitchen to make the mug of Glengettie that I’d failed to make earlier. I got the kettle on again… The innards warned me to get back to the Porcelain Throne post haste! So, I did… I cannot believe how things changed so much. At the first sitting, nothing would move, and as seen, I blamed Constipation Conrad.
But it was a performance this time. I have never been so close to a voluntary evacuation before without it happening!
So I think I had a bit of luck there, really.

I got the tea made and reset the retro 1970s-style clock calendar. Then I got on the computer. Ten minutes later, I fumbled back as fast as possible to get to the Porcelain Throne again! Yet again, apart from Starmer, someone must have been watching over me. Because it was as close a job to things escaping as it was on the second visit! Phew! Can this good fortune last? Is it a trick by the devil to make me relax and get caught out on the next visit? I expect to have a few more yet. The innards started slowly churning again no sooner than when I sat back down on the computer. I’ll avoid starting to feel optimistic about the situation. My belief that things will finally turn around, only for another adverse event to happen, reinforces the idea that my bad luck is persistent. Well, it is! Tsk!

Carer Kimberly arrived; I’ve not started on any blog work yet. I forgot to ask her to put my diabetic socks on for me. What a turd I am! Sometimes, the Carers remember, but not today. Not that I blame them. Just wish I could remember to ask.

When Kimberly left, I thought about what to have for nosh tonight. I had a look at the food available in the kitchen, fridge, cupboards and freezer
I put some spuds into the slow cooker. Then, what did I do after seeing the morning view getting more blue? I took a photo; in fact, I took two. I’ll blow this second one up.
Can you tell what the things in the sky are? None in the first shot, just the close-up one? Thanks!
Of course, it could be some gunk on the lens? I’ll see what the next one looks like.
I’ll have some Golonkowa later on the meal. I love pork knuckle. This Polish can of it usually have plenty of pork jelly included. Very nice! I’ve got the memory of the taste coming back now.
I was tempted to nibble at the LU Cookies, my new favourite biscuit nowadays. If I open the packet, I may be tempted to eat a few, spoiling the dinner later. So, I resisted the temptation. It’s easy when you are as determined as I am to do the right thing. Alright, I only ate
two of them! .

The blog work is getting slower and slower and becoming more mistake-ridden. I am determined to get it together and to concentrate. Then Carer Selina arrived. I’ve not seen her for weeks. She has been off for a while with a broken foot! I forgot to ask her to put the socks on again. We were having a little natter… I went into what (Selina thinks were two) mid-conversation.This time, it seemed I just looked like I’d fallen asleep, but I was muttering. I can recall nothing of it while I was out of it. Then, according to Selina, I started carrying on from our conversation… after a few words, I drifted off again. I think it was good that someone had seen it as it happened. But she said it frit her a bit.

After she left, blurred my vision, and I had to give up on the blog. I’m unsure if it was in the report, as I couldn’t read the writing. Not that anyone reads them.

I think I took this photo earlier in the day. But midst the seizures, I managed to miss it off then. I do that a lot, you know… miss things off.
These I took when I went to the fifth mug of tea of the day. I did manage to drink one of them… I think I did. I’m all over the place mentally now.
Ah, I just saw the circle I put on this one on the left. Same snap as the one on the right above. I’ve blown it up. I’m hoping that someone can determine what it is. Well, I know not what it is. Is it a bird? Is it an alien? Is it an Angel? Or is another freebie donation being delivered to Starmer as a backhander?
A Day of Mysteries, Today.

Ah, well, I’ll get summat to eat then.
Golonkowa, pickled beetroot & water chestnuts, cheesy no-butter, buttered bread rolls, and some tasteless potatoes that need the sauce to flavour them. The biggest disappointment? The crap, bland, going soft tomatoes!
But I ate it all… bar some of the spuds.

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Have a Fantastic Day!
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Croaking Inchy: Wednesday 25th December 2024

Not Starmer, naturally!

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I’m not having any Christmas fare,
I’ll treat the Carers & Nurses, to be fair,
Mentally failing, but I still want to be a blogger
It now takes so much longer, it’s a bugger,
I feel I’m no longer a belonger…
I was happier when I was boozier,
I’ve grown burlier, burblier, & less brainier…
Living life like a boondoggler,
A fungal lesion & catheter in my todger,
Dementia is my brain’s orchestrater,
Mild now, worse as I get older…
Beyond eighty, one can become an obiter,
I don’t look, can’t read ‘em, Gladys Glaucoma,
Never wanted excess money or grandeur,
Others notice as you get gimpier,
You may suffer from graphomania,
Ending up a grammaticaster,
I’ll explain why, at the gates to St. Peter,
Ageing: one becomes thinner or paunchier,
No longer a philanderer, you begin to palter,
Concentration and memory will falter,
You become an easy target for any finagler…
Mugger, killer, blackmailer or freebooter,
My turn to become a contradicter…
It’s hard to explain Cacodemonomania,
When it comes to life’s final closure…
Things will be revealed by your claviger…
Be it a God, Planet, Money, whatever,
Inspect your lifestyle, traits whensoever,
To return to earth, you must be a groveller,
And bare-face liar, like Starmer!
And he’s a bound for Hell, Herr Charmer!
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Tim’s Cat’s Greenies Stand-off. I love this one!
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The result was I gave myself a bloody nose by losing my balance as I bent down to open the Catheter Valve yesterday. Then, while wiping the flow from my nasal holes, I started my cracked lips bleeding. I rather hope that they do not start again today! (They did!)

I woke up very late, enjoying sleep and having a good dream. Hehe! I moved as Richard entered the room, and maybe a few of my ailments did not kick-off. Until I tried to move my bulk about in the £300 second-hand shop-bought, c1966, moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not-working recliner. I’ve not felt so bad when waking up for years!

My lips cracked and bled as I tried to speak. Speaking was not easy at first; I was more mumbling, I think.
Back-Pain-Brenda, Electric-Shocking-Sherida, Confusion Konrad, everything seemed blurred (Glaucoma Gladys?), and, for several minutes, I felt like I was in a permanent-seizure mode. Richard was getting a smidge annoyed with me, I think. Because he was talking to me, but I was not receptive and unable to. I all but went over when I finally got the nerve to stand up and take off the nocturnal pouch. I was keeping Richard from getting home with my faffing about, and I was aware of this. I emptied, disinfected and wrapped up the pouch, and by the time I got back in the room with Richard, I was a different person. As if by magic, I’d regained some perception. Richard issued the prescription medications, and my being more with it, we chatted a minute or two.

As soon as Richard departed, I got the kettle on. Taking this photo from the kitchen window of morning view. Feeling more myself all the time.
I’d left the blood towels out last night, so I wrapped them up and put them in the yellow disposable hygiene bag after disinfecting it first. To my genuine amazement, after drinking the small mug of tea and getting the computer on, the day bag filled almost to the maximum. In fact, it was the backflow discomfort that made me aware of its need to be emptied again. Not only that but in the jug was nearly 800ml of waste water! I think this happened yesterday as well. It continued to fill up all day, but not as much as this one. In the middle of this emptying, no spillages!

Launched into activity. He’s not a frequent visitor, but he hung around on and off all day, then into the night. I feared, as does happen, that Ted often encourages to join in with him. But not this time. She assisted him while I was in bed later to ensure another nasty disrupted sleep for me.

I didn’t mention this but decided, as it had happened, I would. I had to scoot off to the wet room to use the Porcelain Throne when Richard was here. I was almost casually taking off my dressing gown, and the motion began of its own accord! SHAME AGAIN!
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It was a damned Trotsky Terence affair as well! I kept Richard longer and felt guilty, but the mess I’d splattered over the mats, floors and my legs had to be sorted out there and then.👎🏻

I collated the waste bags into one and placed it near the front door. I opened the door cause I thought I heard a noise outside. But no one was there, which is my flat’s usual state. I closed the door… a simple enough everyday activity… Ha!
I’d hit the catheter day bag, a decent wallop with the edge of the door. I laughed it off and returned to the main junk room to get the computer back on and update the blog. I would think it was about eight to ten minutes later that I realised that urine from the pouch was trickling down my leg! Once more, the sock, leg, foot and slipper had been self-unrinated on with great venom! The one saving grace was that I noticed it sooner this time and saved the carpet cleaning from needing to be done.

Such shame, disgrace, ignominy, humiliation, and indignity!
The Carers are aware of these things, and the Nurses are. But what can I do? It’s going to happen again, undoubtedly. This very fact alone is enough to get me into a depression. Then the seizures are getting worse, unquestionably. Carer Richard found this morning that I’d left the taps running again last night.
I’m sorry I mentioned it now.

When I zoomed in to take this picture from the kitchenette window, I got a sense that something was wrong or not right. Different somehow compared with yesterday’s viewing. I spent a ridiculous amount of time and kept returning to look with the naked eye. Was it just that the sun had sneaked through, lighting up the scene? I’d enough to worry about as it was, but this bugged me. I gave up and got on the computer.

Carer Suen arrived. We laughed, and I gave her a choice of bottles to select from for Christmas. Painkillers were given, and my diabetic socks were put on.

I went to make a brew of Glengettie and took this snap of the sky on offer. Then, it dawned on me what the difference was in the previous photo.
It was all the cars parked on the pavements on Devonshire Avenue to the left in this repeated picture. Ah, yes, all those families at home enjoying Christmastime!
Jealous? Me? Don’t be so ridiculous! Ahem!

I read on the web the list of meals that the prisoners were having in Nottingham jail over Christmas and the New Year.
Jealous? Me? Don’t be so ridiculous! Ahem!
I’d better get my Christmas meal started.
Not as good as the criminals’ meal,
But I’m not Jealous… oh, no!

Imitation fish sticks, potato chunks, sliced bread with a bit of Marmite. Followed by a pot of jelly with three small pieces of satsuma in it. Very nice! This year, for Christmas lunch, inmates at His Majesties Prison New Hall will get to choose from Moroccan vegan roast, Salmon & dill fishcake, Roast turkey with pigs in blankets, and sage and onion stuffing with complete trimmings. Christmas pudding (vegan option), ice cream, Swiss Roll or banana & custard. For free, of course.
It makes me feel guilty about having my massive feast.
Jealous? Me? Don’t be so ridiculous! Ahem!

Carer Victor did the last call.

I got into bed and drifted off into a nagging, ever-waking sleep. I gave up and got up at 05:30 hrs.
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Sayonara

Tralaticious Inchy: Wednesday 25th September 2024

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Today, I had a degree of ‘Soditability’ in me as I returned to pretend life after the pathetic three hours of kip I managed to get. Wonderfully unrested! My eyelids were drooping. My balance was all shot. Of the first ten minutes, I don’t recall a lot. However, I gained a modicum of awareness after emptying the nocturnal catheter pouch and taking the BP Readings. I was back in the Hyper range again. The temperature had fallen by six points! Cartilage Chloe started to play up, and has not stopped since, as I hastened to the Porcelain Throne.
Yet another mess for me to clean up, and unfortunately, another embarrassing . I had not emptied the night bag because I had to get on the Throne sharpishly. I won’t go into too much detail, but the liquid evacuation came quicker than anticipated. As I got the pouch to empty it, a rattling from later made me drop the pouch I’d just opened. You can imagine the state of play.
So, an hour to clean up the wet room is at least that long. Then I had to clean myself up! I got my ablutions done without any more bother. Then came the medicating, including extra massaging of the Phorpain Gel on the Cartilage Chloe and Arthur Itis’s knees. Getting the fresh PPs on was the hardest bit of the whole operation. Had I gone into detail about the mess, I might have lost readers; that’s how bad it was! I decided a mug of tea would go down well.
After cleaning the wet room properly, I took this snap from the kitchen window. I also made up the waste bags and left one big one near the front door. Finally, I put the kettle on.

Then Carer Shaquille arrived, and I was about to take the tea into the main room for a relaxing rest and sip of Glengettie tea.
We chatted while Shaquille issued the medications and got the diabetic socks on for me. After the lad had departed, I got on with the blogging duties… It was not good going! I kept getting messages that the computer was short of memory. So, I looked on Amazon to see if they had any hard drives and USB extension slot thingamabobs I could get. Well, I was lost! Some of the drives were 1 TB but had a variety of USB2 – 3 and one I’d never heard of. I did some that said they were plug-and-play – however, on the advert, it offered a professional installation for an extra £59.99!
If it was plug and play… WHY? I asked each Carer who came if they knew what it meant and if it would work on my old PC. Or do they have someone who can guide me in the right direction? I may as well have gone on the balcony, opened the windows and yodelled! I’m struggling here!
Losing the computer is my biggest fear!

I took another snap of the miserable view on offer.
The warned-about heavy rain has not arrived yet.
But it might.

I’d traipsed bits into the main room and hallway cleaning up earlier, so I got the vacuum out. From the look of it, I got it wrong with the camera again.
Two tomatoes for tonight’s meal… although it looks more like it will be the morning’s meal, judging by my lack of progress on the blog, Humph!
Still no rain, and it seems to be getting lighter? There’ll be a reason for this, but I have absolutely no know what it might be. Hehe!
Took two snaps of the lighter part of the day.
The clouds look beautiful as far as I’m concerned.

I, at last, got a brew of Glengettie made and planned to have four dunked biscuits with the tea.
And Carer Jennifer came in, giving me a little dance as she did. Hehe! She told me she was here for the cleaning session. I’d just cleaned the wet room and hoovered the hallway, front room, and kitchen, but the gal was happy to mop my kitchen when I asked her. She did a good job, too, with a pleasant manner.

kicked off, quickly followed by a persistent, harm-intending, wanting to dislocate me !
The toothache was eased by spraying the pain killer in the mouth, but took a lot longer to ease-off. Phorpain gelled where I could reach, and I took an extra Codeine, but she lingered a while.

The clouds had dwindled. Just a few lint ones that seemed to be moving quickly in the sky… well, they would, I suppose, as opposed to moving quickly in the canal? Hahaha!
I spent a few hours on the blog, but it was slow going. The ‘Your Computer is low on memory’ messages started coming on. So, I had to close down without saving CorelDraw because there was not enough memory to save it!
I could cry! I turned it all off to give it a break in the hope that when I reboot, things might be saved. I’ll have to do the graphic again that I was on. I could cry!

After a while, I thought I saw lightning through the curtains. So, I investigated.

Now the rain had come!

I took these photographs on the left from the balcony, through the windows, naturally.

I stayed there on the balcony, just looking at the falling rain.
Fed-Up, Depressed, Mentally Desolate and Depressed. Oh, I’ve said that already!
I then started feeling sorry for myself, got angry with myself for feeling sorry for myself, and made a mug of tea.
Drank it and dunked three biscuits. I lost heart with blogging; that’s never happened before.
So I visited the balcony with Kodak Tim again to take more pictures. I took the first two mudslides at the car park’s end. They came out atrociously, as you can see!
So, I went into the kitchen to take some more. As you can see, they also came out atrociously! Had I tried to make a mess of them, I couldn’t have done better. But there was a slight unintended artistic bent to them, I thought. Tsk!

I’ll have to catch up with the blog in the morning.
I turned the TV on and watched a ‘Heartbeat’ episode as I fell asleep.
Arrived.
Medicines were given.
He was soon off, telling me he’s be back for the late call. As Arnie said, ‘I’ll be back!’

I got back to blogging and redoing the graphic, hoping that after all that, the computer would let me save again.
It did… Phew!

I was getting tired and hungry, but there was no point in making a meal until Israel arrived and left. Will I be awake enough to make a meal safely? I’ll make a cold meal. That’s safer.
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TTFN

Vicarious Inchy: Tuesday 24th September 2024

It was scarcely credible, absurd, and preposterous that I woke up this morning in a spectacularly jovial mood! Despite a Toothache, Tiffany was giving me pain, and I had to reach for the toothache killer spray and give each of the offending teeth a squirt! I hit one of the molars with the end of the tube, and another chunk of it fell off. Also, had fallen off of the safety bar that was out of reach and needed retrieving. I found myself swinging the legs from the bed I was on top of, then getting a toe-stubbing and banging a knee against the overbed table that pissed-off … And the slipped and tugged at poor .
A series of events that should have put me on a downer, swearing and feeling sorry for myself. But I seemed to accept all that had happened as part of my regular morning catastrophe-ridden life. I was temporarily the old me! I didn’t give a toss about things! I was singing to myself (not musically, but still) as I used the picker-upperer to get the stick, then took off the nocturnal catheter bag.
I straightened the bedclothes and limped to empty the pouch. (A number six on the NHS colour Richter scale card) And (still singing Elvis’s songs, the bits I could remember the words to (I hummed the rest). I decided to have my morning allowance of one mug of tea early and put the kettle on.
I then realised I was in such a chirpy mood and recognised that the pains for Cartilage Chloe and Little Inchie were still stinging, but it wasn’t bothering me.
It might have been the weather that had lost its fog and mist after three days of it. The sun nearly got through later.

I combined the kitchen and front room bins into one and put them near the door to take to the chute later. When I returned to the kitchen, I found the tea had gone cold, so I refilled the kettle to try again. Getting the milk out of the fridge, I saw a pie with an out-of-sell-by date, so I checked everything in there. Oh, dear, I filled another bag with outdated items. Tsk! But even this didn’t phase me. I got a summoning to visit the So I did. A messier mess than I’d suffered for months!
Carer Sham called. We have a chinwag & a smile or two between us. ♥.
The intercom sounded; it was the Asda order arriving. This made me realise that it was only 06:10 hrs. What flipping time did I get up feeling all perkily?
I got the bags inside and started sorting things out. They had sent all the bread ordered, which was good, 3 small sliced milk roll loaves, and a bag of mini wholemeal rolls.
Sorted the fresh stuff for the fridge. Some reet-treats here! Red spring onions, a tomato multi-type pack, 4 Lemon & Lime yoghourts, a lemon mousse, and two lemon curd yoghourts! Marmite-flavoured cheese, lamb patti, a BBQ-flavoured pork pie, and a cornish pastie to boot! I shall eat well tonight! I’ll have none of the meat, I’ve still got a lot of the Sokolow seasoned bacon to use, and I’m not going to waste it… I’m going to eat it! Hahaha! Oh, I forgot, I thought I’d made a mistake with the Asda order. The above medication arrived with it. Turned out it was a Freebie. Later on, Carers Sham and Sam said they’d ask if anyone was interested in having it.

Hristina (Polish, spoken as Christina), my favourite nurse, arrived, and my already well-reasonable level of contentment went through the roof. Of course, I love her. (I mustn’t get too excited but can’t help it). I can’t help that. But, being an enforced abstainer from the pleasures of coupling medically and many years too old, not to mention the catheter that ensured getting excited, is more than a rarity; it’s impossible, Humph! Now I’ve got myself all upset.
Hristina’s visit was a joy, but she was in a rush. Still, we managed a natter and laughed while she took the blood. ♥

Carer Sam did the midday call. I explained to Sam the problem I’m having getting a lift to the doctor’s next week. I explained about getting my trousers on and not being able to use the bus or taxi due to the cartilages, ulcers, shakes, etc., as I have done to so many carers for months now. Sam said she’d ask Warden Deana to see if she could help me. See how hard it is to get help? Now, the frustration started to appear, and the downward spiral began! (Mind you, it’s been a different but grand start to the day) Lovely. Thanks, Sam.

I did the morning BP check rather late in the day, I know. At least the SYS was a lot lower. The pulse was the highest for ages, as was the temperature.

I found this photo on the on the SD card. I probably took it this morning. Memory? Me? Pass! Which reminded me that I’d not emptied the catheter in a while, so I did!

By gum, the sun nearly got through late afternoon.
Nice to have pretty clouds up in the sky to photographicalise again.
Hello, hello. The catheter bag needs emptying again, and I’ve not been drinking the water for a while, so I did.

Look at the time. I’ll give up on this blog. The medical call Carer will be here soon.
Oh, he’s just arrived, it’s Christopher. Medications issued, and off he trottted.

These were taken spread over an hour.
Nice to see the sun.
Even only for a few minutes.

I’ll get some food prepped.
I cooked smoked belly pork and beans. Two wholemeal rolls will follow. I added liquid smoke and some basil-flavoured passata to the pan. Delicious!

A poor last shot of the day.

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Adieu, Mon Amis
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Adscititious Inchy: Monday 23rd September 2024

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Inchy stirred and realised that the electric shocks from the ankle, Back-Pain-Belinda, and Dizzy Dennis had not paid him any visits overnight. He was impressed! The sore-lipped old chap staggered from his bed later to check if he had left a cooker or tap on. He had to divert to the Porcelain Throne, carrying his nocturnal catheter pouch and walking stick with him due to the possibility of not getting to the wet room in time. He did, but it was a close call! There were the usual apparent signs of his needing an urgent evacuation, including the gurgling from his innards, which he swears he could hear. And that was without his hearing aids! He sensed that the product was on its way before he opened the door, and to stop the flow, he had to sit on the plastic seat post-haste for a while to delay things. Messy, very messy! But what got to him was how much it hurt him. Good Heavens, it was almost liquid; how come that was painful? Ah, well! He cleaned everything up and went to the kitchen to check the taps, stove, fridge doors, etc., and get the kettle on. Inchy will take over now. Hehe!

Everything was okay in the kitchen. I did think it looked a little dark out there this morning. When I turned the light off for a better look, Boy, it was misty. I took some Kodak snaps of the view. The pictures came out much lighter than they looked to the naked eye. When I opened the window, I was in double shock. One was seeing myself in the mirror’s reflection and how pale I looked, and then I saw the clock. It was only 03:30hrs. So, I’d only be in bed for two hours. I’ll suffer later in the day but will try to stay awake. Tsk! It was drizzling outside, and a hazy mist lingered at ground level in the darkness. At that moment, I felt pretty perky. But that didn’t last for long!

Then I realised I’d left the nocturnal pouch in the wet room and had not emptied it as I thought I had. So, I emptied it. It did seem the logical thing to do. Not too bad a colour, but a few minutes later, when Carer Richard turned up, he said it was a five. Medications were given, and he checked the stock available. He could not ring the District Nurses about my shortage of Catheter bags cause it was too early, and he was on his last call with me.

I had a go at the blog after Richard had left, but I was soon getting all het-up again! CorelDraw was not saving anything with a new name. Oh, dear, now I’m sinking in spirit!

This soon became a Dracula Depression when the SD card reader started playing up. A CorelDraw message told me, “An IO fault was stopping CorelDraw from recognising the unknown file.” Of course, I had no idea what an IO fault meant. So I went on Google and asked. “It is usually a fault with a material connection, but it can mean anything else!”
I see! Well, I didn’t really.

I gave up and started the ablutioning. Which went very well indeed. In fact, getting the diabetic night socks off was the most challenging part. No, no, it was the second most challenging part. I did the peripheries first, then the medications. Little Inchies Fungal Lesion was the most painful job. Second was getting the socks off. I stood in a bowl with some disinfectant and shower gel in hot water and started to get the shaving done. A body scrub, then the teeth were done. Rear-end Germolened, Folds of flesh acne & eczema ointmented. The nasal spray was sprayed, and eye drops were inserted and sprayed with the Mydriacyl®. The barrier cream was applied to the testicles, underarms and leg tops. Phorpain Gel is rubbed into the knees and cartilage areas on both legs. Olive oiled the earholes, and then I had a good clean-up of the wetroom… Mop , as I lost my balance and grabbed a hold of the nearest solid support available; the sink and the mop is now in two pieces.
I could not believe my rotten, never-ending, lousy luck, but it happened to me! However, up to this point, I still think today has been lucky for me.
I try to explain my ailments and problems to people, and while I feel ignored, I can understand folks being disbelievers. I really can. I would not have believed myself thirty years ago. That doesn’t make sense, does it?

I’m back on the computer again. The graphic problems make it hard work, dispiriting, frustrating, and sometimes infuriatingly maddening.

Carer Chloe arrived. I meant to ask her to get the socks on my legs. It’s getting nippy in here now. The fog is still out there, and the odd fine shower is pouring down. But I also wanted Chloe to call and ring the District Nurses to order some more nappies… no, no… I mean catheter bags, nocturnal and short-leg-gay pouches. I’m on my last night bag tonight. I did ask someone last week who did their best but ran out of time, telling me she’d ring later and let me know. She might not be back at work yet. But I can’t run out of bags again… PLLLEASE! It could kill me. (Ah, I see now! Hehe!) Chloe is going to ask Warden Deana if she can help. Do you ever get that feeling that someone doesn’t like you? Fair enough, I’m ready. Well, peeved off! Hahaha!

INCHES BONUS ODES TO LIFE

The mist & rain doth fall,
It looked almost anatomical,
Needing rain is apodictical,
But it’s unpredictable…
Like Earth, it’s apocryphal,
Is nature cerebral?
Aren’t floods terrible?
Nature, we must coddle…
Humankind is daedal,
Nature; extracorporeal,
Life can be excrementitial…
Driving us demential!
What a load of doggerel!

LIFE when one gets DECREPIT

Today was more frustrating than any in the year,
I wanted to be adopted: no one would volunteer,
One grows grumblier, grumpier, grungier…
Life gets klutzier, knottier, & crabbier,
Life does not get cushier but eerier,
Disabilities, we get weaker & wearier,
Ever changing: long gone, it was simpler,
No wonder we get nigglier,
We don’t fit in; we feel lower, freakier.
Never again to drop ’em. & sit on a photocopier!

Har-Har!
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Well, I couldn’t!
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Going to make some nosh now.

A NEW HIGHEST TASTE RATED MEAL!
Three mini sliced wholemeal rolls slathered with butter, sliced tomatoes, and a sprinkle of sea salt, with some sliced, seasoned cooked Belly pork from Poland. Branston sauce in a pot to dip the food before it went heavenly into my mouth and gullet. Garden peas and potato pieces baked in the oven with a hint of liquid smoke flavouring, and vinegar and liquid sea salt added. I ate it deliberately and slowly, highly pleasing my taste buds.
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Bye-Bye

Wuggabugger Inchy: Thursday 19th September 2024

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After a wonderful night’s sleep of about an hour, the Fire Alarm went off. Oh, I am a fool. I’ve already written about the alarm in yesterday’s blog. At the time of starting this writing (15:20 hrs), I’ve already dealt with some of the expected visitors. And must now find the stamina and desire to continue until the last callers arrives. Only the cardiac murmur nurses left to arrive. Then maybe, I think, the TV Bailiffs may come. ‘At any hour of any day’, as they put it in their letter. Mind you, I also forgot about Window Cleaner Joe coming today. Talk about being confused… well, you weren’t, but I was. Haha!
I had so many people calling and ringing up throughout the day. I think Concentration Conrad enjoyed it.
I’ll have to do another quick job. I don’t know when the Nurses will arrive, so I’ll get on with the photos. I fang You!

The urine was not so dark, but then again, I got woken up by the alarm, and I ferreted around each room to find the cause. So it was like a morning exercise for me. No luck—HAHAHA! No luck, as if I needed to tell you that!
Got the ablutions tended to. No chance of getting back to sleep… sleep? Sleep? Oh, yes, I remember it now.

Oh! Nothing has moved all day yet.

Then Window Cleaner Joe arrived. I opened the door, and the moment I saw him, I remembered that he was due today. Tsk!

Carer Christopher arrived. It got me medicated, and the diabetic sock is on for me. I told him of my struggle last night to get the lid off the beetroot jar. Carer Israel called, and he took of the cap without any bother. I can remember the times when everyone would bring such problems to me to solve. Things change.

I started working on yesterday’s blog update, which I was still working on hours later when Carer Kimberley visited. I asked her if she could call the nurses to order more day and night catheter bags, impressing the short-leg version, and ask for some of the muslin pouches if available. I gave her the wrong number; Kara used to sort everything out. Kimberley, but no one has told her, and I couldn’t advise her. They told her to ring a number. But she didn’t have time. I thought she was doing the Health & Bank (Not that she can, until Kara swaps the names with the bank). Kimberley said she’d ring them later. Thank you, gal.

I’m back on the blog, but with all the Catheter and Bank problems, along with worrying about the nurses and the TV License team calling, concentration was minimal.

The Deep Vein Thrombosis nurse came next; she was in and out quickly, taking my best pen with her! Took blood and my pen! Hehehe!

Then, the Iceland order arrived.
Four items were substituted.
One of them was the mini-plum top mates. They’d substituted a pack of four heavy, underripe tomatoes bigger than golfballs. They were that heavy, which indicates little juice but plenty of flesh… I took care not to drop any when putting them away. They would probably break a toe if they landed on my foot. Good job. I’ll get a drill and hacksaw. (Sarcasm)
I did get ready and microwaveable beef meals in rich stout gravy. I’m having one tonight if I ever get the unstarted blog done. Head spinning, I sorted the other stuff out.
After jiggling the products to make room for them, I got the bread into the freezer.

The Cardiac Nurses arrived. I greeted them with a smile and Good evening. They got me on the bed, stripped my top half, and set up the worryingly technical-looking scanner system. It only took about 40 minutes, and it was all done. I had to keep silent and not move during the process. Me! Not talk or move for all that time! shook a bit, and they had to start again. I may have sulked a little when they told me off for moving. Haha!

The print-out must have been 6ft long on the machine. The nurse with the lovely stubby legs said they do not do analysis; that’s done at the hospital. I will get the results tomorrow. They were kind enough to take a nibble and drinkie. I love to thank them that bit special.

1710:hrs: I’m on with the blogging up to here. But I need food and, even more importantly now, sleep.

Carer Chris kindly didn’t disturb me too much during his last call. He took the socks off, and no medications were needed. I think we had a little natter.

Forced myself to get up and get the belated nosh sorted out.

I did better with the earlier sunset photo, though.

Finally, I got onto the bed for a glorious uninterrupted
7 hours of blissful sleep!
Waking up was the problem. Hehe!

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I got two in twenty minutes. Swim & pool.

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Fare & Fair thee all well!

Stressed-Out Again Inchy: Thurs 12th Sept 2024

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I woke up, checked, and removed the nocturnal catheter pouch from the day bag. I was eager to get going with the ablutioning. I seemed to be avoiding the usual morning depression today. That’s good for me! As I pottered about getting the things ready to visit the wetroom, wind emitted from the rear end. So, sharpishly, I traipsed into the wet room to use the Porcelain Throne. It soon became obvious that yesterday’s Trotsky Terence affair was a one-off. I took this photo as the morning sunshine caught the General Hospital. It was captivatingly pretty, I thought.

I was smiling when I sat down. But no amount of urgings and pain would get things moving. So, I gave up, washed my hands, and decided to bet the ablutions after the first Carers visit. As I got into the kitchen, Carer Chris arrived. He got the medications sorted and my socks on. We had a short natter, not that we understand each other, accents and deafness on my behalf. Chris went on his way.

I began taking the things for showering and shaving into the wetroom, and as I opened the door…

It’s frightening how quickly one’s outlook on life can change. Depression can come on instantly and rapidly, followed by self-critical, lambasting thoughts and the desire to spit! I was so annoyed with myself for leaving the damned tap on to run cold. I felt I was physically shaking, I don’t think I was, but it certainly felt like it. I should have blamed
They seem to enjoy their brain-battering battles to see who can make my life more rotten. I’m now trying to blame them, but I just can’t help it when something distracts me or I get two things simultaneously.
Looking back at my jobs with Tesco, the co-op, and security, I realised that many things simultaneously needed attention. Yet I seem to recall coping well with the incidents back then. In fact, I was the one other people came to for help, and I got it. The anger turned to self-pity and sadness. But I’d sooner have than than the depressions. Well, maybe not really; the guilt of whatever I do that goes wrong also gets to me. Embarrassment and shame are always lingering dangerously for my mental health in the shadows.

I’ve tried to pass at the Porcelain Thrown 3 times until now (16:15hrs), but I have had no success. Blood and pain, yes! Hehe! Luck, well, good luck is an alien to me.
Bad luck; A constant late-life disciple of Lucifer.

Carer Sham midday. In a rush, but she still emptied the catheter for me. I had filled up rather quickly, but I’d not noticed it. (Fancy that, me not noticing something, Hahaha) Thank you, Sham. ♥

I eventually got on with the blogging. And, dare I say it, I was doing well. That was a fatal thing for me to be thinking! (Worrying that was)

The keyboard stopped working while typing. The light on the keyboard was still lit up. The mouse was still working.
The depression that turned into shame came back. No self-anger this time, just pure frustration and fed-uppers with my rotten luck. Not being technically capable, I investigated the situation. What to try, so all my limited abilities turned to solving the issue.
① I changed the batteries in the keyboard. Rebooted the computer – No, that didn’t work.
② Made sure the sender in the USB port was fully in.
No, that didn’t work.
③ I gave up on the keyboard and threw it on the recliner. Keep the pain-givers together. Then, why didn’t I realise it sooner? I realised I’d got a new keyboard I bought ages ago, so I decided to try to set it up.
④ Getting it out of the box was a work of art and must have taken me about ten minutes of struggling. Now, how do I set it up. I investigate the new keyboard further.
⑤ It was a bit of another struggle for me to get the battery hinge off. Fancy that!) Then, I saw it took AAA batteries, not the AA ones I have lots of in the flat!
⑥ Then a stroke of luck. (Worrying that was).
I found that the batteries were inside the computer!
⑦ I put the keyboard dongle in the USB port. Took out the old one. And rebooted the computer.
⑧ I bothered me that it was working. Then I got a Windows message telling me it had been successfully loaded, so I opened WordPress. And would you believe it…
HURRAH! It worked!
Of course, it had cost me two and a half hours to get it to work. But working it is! YeeHaa!

Now, to get the photos of the day on the blog.
I went to put the kettle on, and Carer Chris called.
He took some photos on the spare camera and changed the settings so that it clicked when a shot was taken.
He did it all so quickly for me, too. Bless Him!

No shower again; the hot water was not hot enough.

After putting the photos together, I found the one I thought I’d forgotten to take of yesterday’s meal: caramelised sausages, fresh peas, tomatoes, beetroot & red onions. Early evening sky, Bootiful!

I was going to turn on the TV to watch ‘Heartbeat’ while continuing the blog.

I could not find the remote control!
I got the torch and looked underneath the dilapidated, breaking up, partially doored, second-hand bought Hopewell’s E-plan cabinet, with 7 drawers, of which two are still working, hoping to find that the remote had fallen and slid underneath it. I found pens, a pencil, and dried-rock-solid fresh peas. Along with a 1960 Scan Security Certificate of Merit, training courses passed, and two of the missing Health Alert wristbands… along with an old laptop, four AA batteries and an old pair of glasses in a case. But, no remote!
I then searched almost everywhere: the junk room, hallway, wet room, and Kitchen. I even looked on the balcony. But no remote was found.

Then I foolishly tackled moving the £300 second-hand shop bought, c1966. Moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly-beige-coloured, much-filthied, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not working recliner. I couldn’t get down to look underneath, as the last time I tried, I could not get up again.

So, hauling it around, inches at a time, in the small space it stood in was the only option.
I hoovered as I went along to reduce the mountain of dust, more rock-solid garden peas, more pens, and yet another mystery: three packets of French Fries with a sell-by date of February 2020. Ahem! This made me feel so guilty.
I nudged the chair a little more and…
Saw a corner of the remote control sticking out.
Got the bugger! But as I bent down to pull it clear, Back-Pain-Brenda and Dizzy Dennis kicked off, and with the physical jerks, I’d tangled the catheter pouch strappings that needed sorting out. I was not in good shape and left the chair all askew, and I got on the computer to make this rather sad report for my multitude of blog followers. I hope they can both see the funny side.
I could, even in such pain. Hahaha! Carer Chris is coming later, I’ll beg him to help me get the recliner back in position. It’s up against the bed at the moment. And I’ll ask him for extra Codeine. I missed one earlier, so it should be okay, I am allowed up to four a day.

Carer Chris turned up, looking a little tired. I told him of the farce with the remote-searching mess, and he quickly put the recliner back in position for me.
I was still a little ‘out of it,’ Chris picked up on this. Thanks to him, I got the nocturnal pouch fitted, the diabetic socks removed, and a Codeine given. He also took the waste bags on his way out. Thanks, Chris!

I will get something to eat now. But I’ll not cook in this tired and confused state, and dragging or carrying the nocturnal bag around is too risky! I’ve got some chicken and fresh peas in the fridge. I’ll have a pot of instant potato with them. I won’t look good or be fine dining, but I must eat, and I’ll pray that the ailments let me rest and recuperate for once. Then in the early morning, I must get a good shower and shave. Please let me wake up early!
But first, please let me get some sleep! I don’t know who I’m talking to; it’s out of desperation.

Please give me a break tonight. I have Back-Pain-Brenda, Sherida’s Electrical Shocks, Dizzy Dennis, Cartilage Chloe & Carole, Anne Gyna, & other ailments.
That should do it. Hahaha!

Confused and tired, I made the no-cooking meal. No problem with the trailing 4ft nocturnal extension tube & pouch.

After washing the pots, I took five shots of the early-morning views from the kitchen. This is the only one that came out reasonably.
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I settled in the £300 second-hand shop recliner I purchased in 1966, which caused welts, was uncomfortable, did not work, was itch-inspirational, and contained crumbs.
I was intending to watch a recorded episode of ‘Heartbeat’. Soon, I was with Sweet Morpheus for two minutes at a time, repeatedly waking up with a jolt.
I gave up the TV idea, and amazingly, or perhaps not. I slowly drifted of back into the land of nod.
I woke up five hours later, and the door chime rang out when Carer Maryham arrived.

Another day in the life of Inchy Gerald Chambers.
Living Proof that Bad Luck in later life is to be expected. Nae, in his case, is guaranteed.
Without Cogniscent Impairment Iris, Doreen Dementia and all the ailments he’s accrued, life would be so dull.
Dull sounds attractive to him.
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TTFN

Ten-Bob-Note Inchie: Tue 6 Aug 2024

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04:00hrs: I woke reluctantly, stirred back into imitation, pretended life, passed wind, and got an electric shock up my leg from the ankle ulcer via, checked on the time, and swiftly fell back to sleep again. Nice move!
I removed the nocturnal pouch from the catheter contraption. In doing so, I tugged at the tube. I’d like to say I did not shout out in pain, causing the bleeding to pour out all over the PPs, down my leg and all over the new nightshirt.
But if I did, I’d be fibbing.
I went off to the wet room, convinced I was going to have an evacuation this time. Fair enough, there were no rumbling and grumblings, but I did feel movement from the innards. I was wrong, of course.
I did some hoovering—I need to do it every day. Bits of foil from the tablets and mystery bits of what look like giant tea leaves magically appear. Haha!
As I went to the kitchen, I took a shot of the morning view. Then, I spotted a red light on one of the streets. So I zoomed Kodak 2 into it and took this effort on the left. I cleaned and nearly almost tidied up the kitchenette, and the car with its lights on was still there. See the streets in Nottingham, my American friends? Talk about narrow. Pavement parking is the only option for anyone with two cars.

Thanks to Jenny’s tip in getting a baby monitor and Deana and Julie putting it together for me, I heard the intercom chime! Great! Thanks to all three of them again! It was the Asda delivery. Possibly the worst one ever. It’s not the driver’s fault, I think. He packed most of the goods from his trays into boxes and bags for me. Then I got the bags in the hallway and carried them one at a time into the kitchen and junk room.
There didn’t seem many items as I slowly got them put away into the various places as needed.
The fridge didn’t look anywhere near full?
I donned my Sherlock Holmes Cap and went on the internet to find out what was wrong with this order. I soon found out.
Look at the items that were not available on this list from their Email. Five items were unattainable last week, but they went a step further this week.
There were some things missing: 3 Asda thick bleach citrus 750ml, Ben Shaws shandy 1×6, and 4 Asda Bi-carb! I was pretty pissed off at being charged for these.
Then, a genuine rumble from the innards, I limped to the wet room. 30 minutes of crosswording, whistling and counting the cracks on the ceiling (24) again, and no signs of any movement. Plenty of wind, though. Talk about trapped wind, but it kept coming out almost two-tone musically at times. I gave up,
I eventually made a start on yesterday’s blog.

I remember using the new Kodak camera to take these shots of the clouds below.

But so many, a flood of Dizzy Spells and Seizures ravaged me. I’ve no idea who came or didn’t. Yet I found these pictures which at the time amazed me… I’d ordered another food order earlier via Amazon from Morrisons. I need help with these mind blanks. I shall see if Kara can get me a lift to the Doctor’s sorted out ASAP, then see if the Dr can see me on that day and time. Or the other way around.

As Carer Cris arrived, I came back to as near to normality as I’d ever get. I think I was responsive; no, I was! And I can recall much of this visit.
But the seizures continued, but it seemed for only a minute or two at a time. Again, during one of them, I took more shots of the amazing clouds, this time with the new Kodak.

Then I had a bit of luck!

More sky shots with the spare old camera.

Last call from Carer Chris. He wanted to get home, bless him.
I gave him some treats. He’s a good lad.
Another fairly long seizure or mind-blank.
I found two more photos taken on the SD card.
I’m afraid I missed getting full pleasure from these shots.

Better get this on before I risk making a midnight feast.

Hope to be back in the morning… Hehe, it is morning now.
Back later, he says confidently.
I’m back…
I consumed a hell of a lot of bothers and bleeding to make a meal… Tsk!

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Sweet Dreams!