Inchies Odes to Sanity – Inchie Today

Inchie. Mon/Tue/Wed 24/25/26th Nov 25

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I had a theme for my Ode to relate,
My body needs my brain to cooperate,
It talks to itself – rubbish, bletherskate,
My dream? In a cave, the walls began to corruscate,
I was with someone, a Carer, lover and old mate?
As he/she started on me, to lambaste & berate…
Its body faded, it began to loudly cachinate…
Folks from my past appeared, as a conglomerate,
Hands in hands, they issued me looks of hate,
Then howled out loud, they did not abate…
I cooked roast potatoes, one on each plate,
I wanted to talk, welcome them, hospitate…
The howling temporarily stopped, as they ate,
Telling me I was a terrible ingrate?
Dark Dank Depressing Darius began to inumbrate,
The cave grew cold, and I began to sudate,
Saying out loud, “What the Hell’s going on, mate?”
Dead relatives came, their intentions vulnerate,
They came towards me, starting to ululate,
I tried to stroke, touch them, to vellicate…
I think they may have escaped via St Peter’s gate,
Their bodies began to rapidly deteriorate…
They started to dissolve, one by one, demoniacal!
Is this real, happening, or maybe notional?
One went ashen, pasty, anaemic, demonical…
One shrank to nothing, all absorbable,
One cursed & swore at me, all abuseable!
Then exploded. Like a bursting bubble,
One blew me a kiss and said I was adorable.
I tried to hug her, but she was not touchable…
A ghostess, how can she be damageable?
She burst into flames, so she was destructible,
One turned to glass, she was vitrifiable…
Then found out she was also smashable,
An eerie hum all around started to bominate,
Then the nightmare… morningmare did vacate…
07:00hrs, by gum, I did sleep in late,
Fell off the bed, what’s next to tribulate?
The dream ending might compensate.
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But and however…
This blog was not started until Thursday evening. Wednesday & Thursday were not good for me, but Monday was not too bad at all.
Tuesday was troubled with many mini-seizures, each one with not good after-effects, which took a lot out of me, I’m afraid. Concentration was just not there, many accifauxpas, and
Dawned that regularly, each one seemed deeper than it really was. Tuesday is best forgotten anyway, so the lack of photos or memories of what happened explains the lack of detail in the scrawny Tuesday section.
Wednesday’s cock-ups ensured me that , bless him, he was again a frequent visitor. Many things will be out of sync and order, sorry. Last night’s lack of sleep, due to
And his ranting, perpetual criticisms of yours truly, made any proper sleep an impossibility. At least the seizures, only two, were lengthy. I judge from the ease and the incredibly short time it took me to recover each time.
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I gave up trying to sleep. Assuming it was about 04:00hrs, but soon found out, after taking of the night bag and going to the wet room to tackle the morning ablutionalisationings… as Carer Manpreet came in it to the flat, that it was actually gone 07:00hrs! WE got the Health Checks done & recorded, and the medications were issued.

Calendar changed, tea brewed.

Morrison order.
Moved them into the kitchen.
Treats!
Favourites.
Fridge loaded.

Afternoon seizures.

Evening shot.

Memory, Jet Black Blank
Seizures were having a heyday.

Morning shot, I think.

Evening shot, I think.

Just a guess at this rating.

Another stormy night’s sleep. If it wasn’t for my taking a bashing from , I may well have still been in bed when the Carer came again.
I decided to force my reluctant body from the bed, primarily, to get a painkiller, to counter the pain from Shirley’s worst-ever night-attack.
I didn’t make it. I’m not sure how long it lasted, but it wasn’t long. I could tell after it was all over by the acid reflux coming up in my chest, throat, mouth, and nose, and it was taking so long for me to recover fully. Although, to be honest, I don’t think I did get back to normal, if anything about me can be called normal, (Hehe!) Until 17:00hrs, or so.
My plan, formulated this morning, was to get things ready for when Ejaz arrives, go with me to the opticians, and then do as much as I could in the time left, working on the replacement word list.

Carer Manpreet arrived, and she checked that the HC return figures had been recorded correctly. Medications were given. A gaping blank spot in my memory. I assume I’d had a seizure, but Manpreet didn’t tell me… or I didn’t hear or remember her saying. The state I was in after each one today is no surprise. I got on with the word listings for an hour or two. To my utter amazement, an Asda delivery arrived. What? Another food delivery? Beats and worried me.
Cheesey cobs. cheesey wriggles, and some iced bread rolls. I tried to gain access to my vacant memory void, to work out when and why.
Come to think of it, I may have got the delivery days wrong, sort of back to way, on the wrong days. They may have been the other way around. Or, not.
Topped up with waters of various types. It’s costly having to keep swigging a minimum of three litres every day to keep the bladder working.
Meat pies with shortcrust and puff pastry tops. Polish cooked smoked ham, Nurses drinkies, and some bacon bits, erm… lardons they are called.
Blimus, I’ve got the fridge and freezer crammed full again. But of course, the social lady promised me help with this problem. Also, with the finances, when I get home from the hospital. Assured me of help with the ‘spent a fortune’ on wheelchairs… getting them appropriately fitted and safe to use.
Age Concern said… Oh, forget them. I’ve not heard anything from any of them! I’m disappointed and feeling a smidge uncared about, to say the least.

Carer Mizra, then Carer Ejaz, arrived. Mizra departed after medicating me and seeing that things were alright. Ejaz and I got down to the Opticians only to find that we had arrived too late and they could not test my eyes. Ejaz dealt with the receptionist, and they made another appointment for next Wednesday. How we got the wrong time beats me. Ejaz has always taken care of them for me. Sadly, my eyes are getting worse, and later I checked on the HHS site – bad news. It said that if you do not catch it in time, it cannot be repaired. Great! Now it will be another week before the test, and the optician can refer me to the EENT!
The eye is getting worse each day, and I’m struggling at times. Nothing new there then.
Ejaz and I returned to the flat, and he put the laundry in the washer. Mopped the kitchen for me, and went to get the laundry into the dryer, and realised it had not finished washing. So left it until his subsequent call to collect it for me. Off he went; he’d done the best he could on my behalf.

I pressed on with the word listings, and Ejaz returned to fetch the laundry for me, and he hung it up on hangers. Night medications given.

I started making a template up for this 3-day blog… and realised it was gone 23:00hrs!

Better get something to eat.

🤎 TTFNski! 🤎

Inchy Today: Satur’Rotten’day 24th May 2025

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This is a sort of disclaimer.
Defending my brain’s abductor,
My cerebrum needs a new alternator,
Today, full of Whoopsiedangleploppery…
Has angered & confused me continually,
Hot tap left running twice – Good Glory!
Burnt my dinner, coughing & throaty,
Everything went more confusingly,
As I write this, it’s 16:00hrs, Sunday,
07:15, I mean on Saturday…
Has angered & confused me continually,
Hot tap left running twice – Thoughts gory!
Struggled with the Peripheral Neuropathy,
Arthritis and cartilage, bad in each knee,
Glaucoma was making things hard to see,
I cut my finger on the zester,
Porcelain Throne visits, never messier!
What people said would not register,
My catheter tap was left open, pathetically…
Slippers, socks, feet, carpet wet, you see?
Leg ulcers turned deep zaffre…
Burnt my dinner, coughing & throaty,
Everything went more confusingly,
No one had time for a chat or natter…
What bit of hope I had began to wither,
I didn’t know if I was here, there or whether…
It was pouring with rain, a change in the weather,
Dark Dank Depression Duncan dawned,
No visits from High Horis, I felt scorned,
I got confused with the dates on the calendar,
The computer has a blue screen, whatsoever,
Each caller had a different Carer,
Lost without Carer Joe, he’s on holiday,
Fought against dates, mathematically,
My thoughts sadly went argumentatively,
And I was only talking to myself, sadly,
Then, I think you may agree…
I suffered catastrophe after catastrophe,
I washed the pots and put them away,
A Carer from the ICC,
Which naturally distracted me,
She left, I discovered, agonistically,
I’d left the tap running again. Glory be!
No ablutioning today as well, I can see!
Cleaning my togs first, carefully…
Rarely for this year, it was still rainy,
Then I tackled a job most risky…
The bowl of disinfected hot water…
To the main room, I had to porter,
No Accifauxpas, with that water,
Stuck my feet in the bowl, with anti-fungal,
But I forgot to fetch the towel…
So I dried off with some kitchen towel,
Went to empty the bowl in the in the WC,
Dropping it as I poured it into the toilet bowl,
I stubbed my toe, boy, did I howl!
I wanted to throw in the towel…
Instead, I made a brew…but I couldn’t find it. Nor my mobile!
Give up, swear, curse and growl,
Depression Duncan was invincible,
High Horis was absent or invisible…
Most of this is immaterial,
Bad-luck? I’ve had jugful…
I sank into a mental jungle,
My mind was in a twisted muddle,
Too many problems to juggle,
Life seems no longer manageable,
Everyday, more mishaps & trouble,
My brain & soul are no longer mutual,
My joints & bones are no longer malleable,
Problems not hideable or mothballable,
Cognitive Impairment, sanity not recuperable,
I’ve no slippers left because I’ve pee’d in them all,
Proving that I’m ever more adorkable,
I still feel that life nowadays is not workable…
I also seem to be growing more sulkable,
My thoughts & ideas are now circumstantial,
I sense I’m becoming somewhat augural,
In High Horis’s absence, I’m apoplectical,
I was once perceptible, & palopable,
Will Horis ever return? I’m still hopeful,
Gawd, that entity made me so cheerful,
Does this read all agathokakological?
With problems neurological & physical,
Seemingly ignored by anyone medical,
What chance? Is logic salveable?
Unobtainable, unreasonable, or unworkable?
Sorry, this may sound morbid, apocryphal,
It’s just that I’ve had a belly full,
Dementia, Incogniscence… are they…
mendable, rectifiable or even explainable?
I made a meal that looked rather eatable,
Unfortunately, in the morning, at half-past two,
I’d only been in bed for a minute, too!
Off again to the Porcelain Throne, I flew,
I had another ,
The evacuation started before it was due!
Much foul language was used, I can tell you,
It was unstoppable, smelly and impromptu,
More time lost, much cleaning up to do,
Arithmetic, I nowadays misconstrue,
But, did I enjoy my meat & potato stew!.

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Just had a short visit from!
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Today felt like anything go-wrongable went wrongable. Repeatedly.
My mind took a holiday.

Scribbled notes on the pad and a few photos triggered some memories.

04:20hrs: Removed the nocturnal catheter bag.
I Put the kettle on. Then, I soaked the socks in disinfectant from the urine mishap—how many times has that happened this week? I made up three waste bags. I put them near the front door, where they remained for two days with the following added ones. Could I remember to ask the caregivers to take them to the shute? No!
I didn’t get around to doing this blog until Tuesday.
By then, I’d overwritten the pictures taken as I got them all mixed up with each other. I must have lost at least a dozen photos! Self-hatred, stupidity, and a smidge of anger with myself.

Yet again, Unbelievable!
I was emptying the day bag, and the intercom rang; it was the Carer. As it seems habitual nowadays, I did not fully close the bleed valve on the catheter pouch.
More foul, self-cursing emanated.
Another high-risk activity is carrying a bowl of disinfected water to remove the pong of urine on my feet. Mind you, I’ve done it three times (not closing the valve and carrying water from the kitchen to the front room and back). No, I’ve done it four times this week. I ran the hot water tap cold six times. And I swore (Estimated) 12,456 times this week thus far. Only one more day left to increase these figures. (Which I can you now, I did!)

All my slippers are already in the laundry bag.
And with the Carer not putting on the diabetic socks, I walked the stink all over the rooms. I was not up to mopping, but I sprayed all the carpeting with a fabric freshener and the rooms with air spray. I still can’t find the small blue towel. But give me time. I’ve only been looking for it for two weeks. Untidy is the kindest word to describe the flat.

I think this photo might be from another previous day. Cause I can’t recall any prescription medications being delivered. Mind you, later on, when I got a phone call, the lady asked me why I had not attended the meeting with the neurologist at The Ropewalk. I felt silly asking where the Ropewalk was.
After cringingly apologising and thanking her for setting up a new emergency date for the examination (August 28th), I checked my calendar. There was nothing on there. .

Not sure about this photo either.

Or when this one was taken.
What day was it taken?

I went to get the much-needed ablutions done, but I needed to use the porcelain Throne first.

Morrison order. The photos have been overwritten—all of them! No, hang on. I’ll check to see if I put them in the wrong folder. I’d be daft enough to have…
Well, after searching, I could not find them in any file. I went on CorelDraw to download Tuesday’s files and realised I’d left the photos on the CorelDraw page. So, I had to change all the names and save them again to use here. I sense big cock-ups in the offing!
I found some snaps.
I think these were the right ones.
But…
They are, I’m nearly certain.
Well…

I had better stop here if I’m getting deeper into a quagmire of confusion with three days of blog photos and notes and the wrong days of events shared between the three. I think duplicity is a possibility for these three blogs. Sorry if this is so.

Many photos in the preview are different from those in the editor. I’m sorry again; I can’t find out why. If this continues, I’ll have to give up. Anger-Making!

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Cheers!
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Inchy Today: Friday 18th April 2025

Proof that the Grim Reaper is Evil!
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Life now seems full of stupefaction,
To which I hold many a reaction…
Overall, after my pondering summation,
I cut down on taking beta-blocker medication,
To help me with my concentration,
I weighed up the facts, with consideration
My brain tending towards absquatulation,
Considered my rear-end’s vesiculation,
It had no bearing on the situation,
Considering problems I didn’t want to mention,
The neurologist who said I’ve verbigeration,
Will my research ultimately reach a conclusion?
I realise life will never be utopian,
Past failures, return, with apprehension,
Stemming my thoughts with hesitation,
Guilt, self-vulneration & vilification
Detract me from my original intention,
I often lose my current situation…
What is my purpose, my vocation?
With Dementia comes alienation,
No doubt, I can cope, using gumption…
Mine is comparatively, insignificant,
But it is bound to soon worsen,
At the same time, my catheterisation,
Means no voluntary tintinnabulation.
For concentration, I see only annihilation!
>>>>><<<<<
Hopefully with more bravado,
I await the sign; at least an echo,
As I lay here, lying doggo,
My thought processes, fallow…
Whatever my mood, high or low,
I’ll get part-three done tomorrow,
I’m off now to have a Cornetto!
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– – Excellent week up to now! – –
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I stirred back into my pretend life at 05:40 hours.
Another night of ever waking up, but this time & were present every time I woke up. I was concerned about them both, having two nights absence. Huh!

Nocturnal Pouch. Rating 5

Clock calendar updated. Hearing aid inserted. Earholes olive oiled. Eye sprayed. Rear end washed and antisepticated.
The saving produced just two little cuts.
No spillages or tumbles! Although I had a close call when getting the fresh PPs on.

Care Ahmed arrived as I was starting to season & pickle some black peas.
I mentioned that the computer was correcting when I put his name in the blog; so he gave me another name to use, bless him. Ejaz. I used it when updating yesterday’s blog, it accepted this one. He issued the medications and asked me if the Little Inchies Fungal Lesion Ointment treating was hurt again today. Haha, a lovely lad, ever-ready for a laugh.

I hoovered the little hallway, not that I’ve got a large hallway, anyway. I didn’t need to say that, did I? I’m wandering all ready. Then, I prepared the necessary items to finish the chickpeas and store them in the fridge for later use.

The day was brightening. However, the sunshine never did break through the clouds today.

The Kala Chan peas, Stubb’s liquid smoke (this is what McDonald’s uses in their smoked food). Mushroom liquid ketchup, Marmite, liquid sea salt, pickling vinegar, and light soy sauce. I drained the peas and put them in a leak-proof food tub.
And I got it sealed and put it in the fridge. Then I opened a can of water chestnuts, and broke some up into the mix and vinegar. I had a taste of the liquid mix, and it tasted very good to me. It will require a minimum of three days in the fridge to achieve a decent level of pickledness in the peas. I must be parient. Hehe!

Back to the wet room. Urgh!

The midday call was by “Carer Joe”. We had a natter, and he said he’s doing the next call, then a new Carer would be calling. He’ll be back later. I’m not sure how long he’ll be off for, he might be on holiday.
I’d had a seizure while doing the blog when he arrived, so things can be taken with a pinch of salt.

SEIZURES FIESTA
Not for long.
But they very short, but each one was recogniseable.
I dare not move about or try to do anything on the computer, fearing a tumble or ruining the nearly finished blog. All ended well, though. They stopped after about an hour of them rattling in so fast.

Andy really has expressions that almost seem to talk to you! He’s undergoing a lot of treatment at the vets now he’s getting older. All the WPers love him.
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I’ll have to do catch-up again in the morning.

Good Morning!

Not much to do, just to add Ejaz visit and the days nosh. Can’t remember anything else.
When Carer Ejaz made the last call, I’d been deep into a heavenly sleep for about an hour.
Boy, was I confused and tired again.
I was so tired; all I wanted was to get back to sleep.
He kindly said he would fit the new weekly catheter day bag on in the morning. But I’d not made a meal yet! So I did. Half-asleep. Hehehe!

Made the nosh up. Minced imitation beef and grey, added garden peas, pickled water chestnuts, and brown chickpeas. Poured some Gung Po sauce over it, as shown in the picture above. Mixed it all up and microwaved it.
Loverly!

Of course, that was end of any sleep for the night.

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😘 TTFNski. Keep Safe! 😘
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Barmier Inchy: Monday 23rd December 2024

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To relax, I tried banzai. Or was that bonsai?
I ended up in the hospital, nearly bled dry…
Oh, with a cut lip, broken nose & a blackeye,
I didn’t die, but I caught diplococci,
Starmer, he does falsify and farcify…
Pensioners, he hates, & will not fortify,
He’s not been assassinated… I wonder why?
I see food, fuel, etc. prices again rising high,
Is he honest or a crook, you can’t identify,
Until they mug or kill you or poke you in the eye,
Dictators, Oligarchs, Politicians crooked, why?
Warmongers, so many innocents die,
Life is complicated; it needs formulae,
The violence is rife; it makes my brain lignify,
MPs work creates mamihlapinatapai,
If Starmer was a bird, he’d be a magpie!
He lies, he’s greedy, creates profundify,
He’ll eventually bleed the poor dry,
To him, commoners are just succubi,
Parliament needs to defunkify,
Even if the end is nigh…
This is all likely pie-in-the-sky?
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I worked through the night, the bed untouched.
Computing and Blog-Catch-Up.

At 05:30hrs, I emptied the urine pouch. While doing so, I decided to close the computer down and run a Ccleaner session. Then turn off the computer, and get the Ablutions & Medications sorted out. But first, I did a bit of flat-titivating. I sorted all the waste bins into two bags. I’d made a lot of rubbish while nearly falling asleep for so long. But despite this, Sweet Morpheus would not let me nod off. I checked on the pickling mushrooms by tasting one of them and a piece of water chestnut. They looked okay, but the flavour told me they may pickling for another day.

I hobbled into the wet room to make a start on the Ablutionisationing and Medicalisationing.

I thought the Renauds on my feet and toes looked much easier. But I still had my reading glasses on. This photo I took proved me wrong. Yes, I was tired, but I didn’t feel weary. Does that make sense?
The feet washing in the bowl while I shaved and did the teggies went very well. And the shaving produced just 2 minuscule face nicks. I was doing well under the circumstances. The medicalisationing, apart from Little Inchies Fungal Lesion, seemed to go great!
Even getting the PP’s one was less bother than usual.
SMUG-MODE ENGAGED!
Dried and dressing gown on.
My plan to get into the bed was interrupted. As I sat in the £300 second-hand shop-bought, c1966, moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not-working recliner, to watch another great 1950’s film in black & white. And drifter off into the bliss of sleep!

Carer Richard arrived. He was not in a gay mood, but I could tell he was upset about something. He didn’t laugh once during this visit. No, I told a lie! (I’m getting like Starmer!) My EQ told me he was not feeling well. I hope he feels better after he gets some kip and food inside him. Richard had the diabetic wadding on and supports on both legs again. After the lad had left, I soon drifted off into a much-needed but too short sleep.

Carer Chloe woke me up on her first call. I was deep in sleep. We chatted, but I’m not sure what it was about. I think it was Carer Chloe, my being rudely awakened. Hahaha!

I restarted watching the film. And fell off into bliss again, missing the end of the movie! Grumph! But I do need the sleep catching up on. I slept until an hour and a half later.

Carer Joanne woke me up. Bless her; she brought up my washing and kindly hung the laundered gowns for me in the hallway.

The sleep was a little longer this time, but I shot awake with Electric-Shocking-Sherida blasting away at me. She’s such a persistent ailment! I gave up on sleeping. Sherida had beaten me again! I took a photo of my beloved old-fashioned clock calendar. Nearing 15:00hrs. So I had to rise and get on the computer to start blog catching up all over again. Will it ever end? Hehe! I mustn’t moan; I think in between Carers calling. I got around five hours of sleep. But, I need more yet. On with the blog!

Two tasty-tasting cheesy-topped rolls slathered with mushroom pâté de campagne. Pickled shop-bought green-yellow tomatoes, red peppers and onions. Fish balls, cooked in the air-fryer, home-pickled water chestnuts & mushrooms. Followed by a pot of lemon fool dessert.

I found another 1950s black-and-white movie on the TV. I then settled in the c1966, £300 charity shop bought second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner.to watch it, accompanied by the five empty packets in the bin in the morning of Frazzles!

I stayed awake enough to watch half an hour of the film, and when the adverts came on, I drifted irresistibly into the land of Nod with Sweet Morpheus.
I was still in the chair 6 hours later when I woke up.

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Blotchy Battered Inchy: Wednesday 4th December 2024

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I dreamed I was on stage in an amphitheatre,
Amphitheatre, what’s that? I’ve no idea,
I’ll have to look it up, oh dear!
Greek and Roman Colosseum architecture,
As I was dancing, I burst my ankle’s blister…
I fell off the stage, what a bugger…
Got the thumbs down from Caesar,
As out of a cage came a large gladiator,
I felt the flow from my fast-filling ureta…
Then came a lion, the Christian eater…
Oddly enough, they fought each other,
But I wasn’t yet out of bother,
They told me I’d be eaten by the winner,
I told them, I said I’m a Sun-God sinner…
And I come from the far-distant future,
Anyway, the lion won and ate me for his dinner.
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Another messy day. So far behind, it was (is) Thursday morning. Carer Richard just departed at 08:10hrs, and I just started here updating this blog – as for today (Thur), I might get that blog done by about next November. Assuming I’ve not been sectioned and sent to fearfully scary Old Peoples Home by then. At least now, after signing up to pay for extras on the cCleaner, the computer is letting me save photos for a change. (This changed an hour later, which somehow I anticipated and expected). Gullible, that’s me!
So it’ll have to be a quick job, as more nurses are coming today and another tomorrow. The ‘Scary’ one, tomorrow.
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A scary red in the urine. Graded by the
care as a seven on the NHS scale.

Misty morning view.

A lengthy, hurtful experience.

The next few hours I spent entertaining unwanted or asked for . I was getting nowhere fast. Time costing errors galore! was on the rampage. Carers, the nurse, and deliveries ensured that until around 16:00hrs, I was again in La-La land. The computer’s photos permitted entry onto this blog, making up for my lack of reminder notes. Sometimes, I can’t cope with things quickly when I’m dwelling in La-La Lane. On the other hand, sometimes I don’t care or realise it.

My Oder Commeth…
Not a lot.
Cream cakes for ILC (Independent Living Coordinator), Oberstgrüppenfuhreress Warden and Primo Ballerina, Deana, and ILC (Independent Living Coordinator) Generaloberstess, Ice skating champion florist and Warden Julie. But I couldn’t reach them; they were in a meeting.
So the Carers got an extra treat instead.
I filled up the bikkie barrel with some of my favourite cookies. LU & Maryland Vegans. Nice!

Then declined to almost none, just the odd short one now and then. (I started again when I got in bed). I gave up on blogging, as I seemed to be going backwards! I spent an inordinately long time preparing the evening’s meal. I cooked some battered chicken lumps in the air fryer and put some sweet & sour sauce, adding some chestnuts and garden peas in the microwave five minutes before the chicken’s cooking times ETA. I put them all in a bowl and washed the pots and air fryer basket. After checking taps, the fryer, microwave and fridge doors were closed, I was working out how best to safely carry the tray of food and walking stick simultaneously, and the Carer arrived. He rushed through the medications and creaming, whipped off the diabetic socks & attached the catheter’s nocturnal bag.
I was going to take a photo of the meal as usual, but I got distracted. Realising this just as I got to the end of my eating spree. Hehehe!
So I took this belated shot, then whoofed down the bits remaining on the tray. Gorgeous!

Just gone midnight, I wrestled my lumberingly flabby-bellied body into the hospital bed. That being said, sleep took a while to arrive, but it was lovely when it did!
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Keep Safe, and have some funny frolics!

Improvs Inchy: Thu 13 June 2024 Red Eye, Red Armpits and Electric Shocks!

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My mental deficiencies, although bothersome at times, generally took a back seat to actual confusion amidst the physical shortcomings throughout today.
Care Kara rang the Doctor for me about the red patches beneath both armpits. I’ll mention the follow-up farcicalness now, so I don’t forget later. Kara took a photo of my red pits and then rang the Doctor for me. Bless her; she was in a rush as well. Thanks, gal. The Doctor said she’d call me back later after it had been assessed which medication may help.
An hour or so later, the surgery lady called me back, asking if I could email them a photo. I said Carer Kara had taken one earlier, and I’d try to get through to them to ask.
I called the carer’s office and got a voice message that I was not sure about. I gave up and called the ILC (Independent Living Coordinator), Oberstgrüppenfuhreress Warden and Primo Ballerina, Deana, who came up to clarify. It seems I was stuttering as I spoke, although I didn’t realise it then.
Deana arrived and saved the day after she rang the surgery and clarified things. Then she sent a photograph she took off to the surgery. They would ring me back again.
An hour or so later, they rang me. The Doctor sent a prescription for the same cream they used last year when the red pits showed up. The prescriptions could be collected from the chemist in the morning. Tell your caregivers. I mentioned it to Carer Chris later, but how or when they will manage to fetch the prescriptions is unknown.
Then, ankle electric shocks increased in frequency.
The Glaucoma affected eyes got worse as the day went on.
The Iceland delivery arrived. I stubbed my toe and walked into the door frame five minutes later.
And Cartilage Chloe gave way a few times, but without causing me to have any tumbles.
I did not even start this blog, although I did make some graphics ready. I was weary & tired earlier than ever.
I have no snippets; I just didn’t have time to.
I fell asleep in the c1968, tatty, scruffy, unkempt, uncomfortable, virus, microorganism, bug, bacterium, bacillus, germ, parasite producing, and disease-fermenting second-hand, eyesorely-horrendously grungy beige-coloured, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, moth-eaten, non-working, itch-encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, catheter tube yanking, recliner.
Carer Chris made a late call. He took the diabetic socks off my feet and attached the nocturnal night catheter bag. Christopher took nibbles and a drinkie at my insistence, and off he went. When I mentioned the prescription to him, he said he thought Carer Richard may be returning to work. That’s good news; I thought the lad would be off work longer.
So, here is a minimum detail set of photos today. I fank you!

Morning Medicals…
Catheter day pouch and leg bag
Ankle Ulcer with electric shocks. Hehe!
Messier than messy! This photo was taken of the Germolened pit by ILC (Independent Living Coordinator), Oberstgrüppenfuhreress Warden and Primo Ballerina, Deana.

Carers & nursed nibbles mostly.
Inchy’s best-loved bikkies are below.
Yum! Dunk! Flavour!

Seasonings for the mushrooms!

Can you see it?

The third farmer’s arm fooled me!
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ARRIVEDERCI!

Inchy’s Odes: An mix of old, new, bad, indifferent

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Insanity is coming along much quicker,
Bus rides are getting bumpier…
Medications getting costlier,
They now charge for a courier,
It all helps to make me crankier,
Depressed, sour and crabbier,
The internet is ever crappier,
My midriff is a lot chunkier!
My mental resistance is crumblier,
All women I see are curvier…
Can’t expect life to get any cushier,
WC evacuations are mushier…
I’ll never again be a wee-weer!
Oddly, I’m feeling gloomier,
Yet life is actually funnier!
Remembering things are now foggier,
I forget my papules are itchier,
My piles & fungal lesions are bloodier…
But, now I’m not such a worrier!
Forgetting that I’m going loonier!
Not bothered about getting scruffier,
On my feet, I’m getting unsteadier,
I may well be a crap Odester,
I’ve got tins of Golonkowa….
And some self-raising flour,
The doctor said I’ve got gastrectasia!
And my mind developed ecdemomania,
Forgot what they are now, but I’ll endure…
With eyesight & hearing so poor,
But I’m not bothered, that’s for sure…
Did I tell you of my knee fracture?
Or the catheter bag puncture?
2 mugs of tea a day, said my doctor!
I had three of Glengettie, lovely flavour!
A lousy life, death I will savour!
Probably bleed to death, using the razor?
I’m cheerfuller now, well, not so dour…
No time for sulking, or sorrow…
Someone’s calling to unblock the sewer,
My moments of gloom, get fewer!
I’ve never been an achiever…
Been a giver, not a receiver…
In some things, I’m a believer,
Well, I was, but what, I can’t remember…
I don’t regret my life being a schlocker…
I’ll just continue to panic & dither,
I know no other way, either!

TTFNski, Each! ♥

Inchy: Tuesday 5th December 2023

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Word for today… HECTIC!
I was tested beyond her limits, which means I was, too.
Three visits from Social and nurses. Helped by Carer Marie. Cock-up with the food order… I have no idea why I mentioned this; it happens every time!.
Not that I got anything done on the blog; it was just too busy a day. I am just starting this Wednesday morning, so it will have to be a quickie.

A good bag full, a decent colour.

But this soon changed on the first emptying of the pouch. Bit of blood in there somewhere?

Waste bags sorted.

Morning view. Car park.
And the sky.

Asda Delivery Arrived.
Bladder drinks, milk & potatoes.
Biscuits, bread, diarrhorea medicines.
Ah, my cock-up here. I swear I ordered one pasty and one minced soya pie. I got five pies, and they were beef and onion flavoured?

arrived and got the medications sorted out for me. We chatted while she was doing me. She took the laundry bag down for me to get the clothing washed. Bless her.

Nurse Sarah arrived later, and what a visit it was. She wanted to know why the Carers were not putting on the leg straps. I couldn’t answer her other than saying, “I don’t know?” I think I got confused with the bandaging on the right leg when the straps were not needed, and then they were taken off… that was enough for to get me into a bemused and forgetful state. Which, of course, is my regular condition, I suppose. Sarah took the bandaging off of the right leg and left a note for the Carers about remembering to put the strappings on in the mornings and take them off at night. Said she was going to ring the social services about the bed again. I thanked her, and off she went. Merci!

A minute later, the Social Services Lady arrived. Sorry, I’ve forgotten her name. She was here to sort the room out to get me a bed in the ‘Front Room’.
Then Nurse Sarah returned, and they set about moving all the stuff into the spare room for me. Not being able to do it myself was embarrassing, but they tucked into the job and soon got it all done.
All the things that had been removed need cleaning in the morning; hopefully, a domestic may turn up Wednesday who can help me.
Kara was on the list to call tomorrow to help sort the paperwork and arrange lifts. ♥
I thanked them muchly, and off on their rounds, they went. Bless their cotton socks!

I went to look at the spare room, to the stuff.
It’ll be fun when I need to find something. Hehe!
I’m not bothered, though; I’m just thankful for the help and what they have done for me. ♥

returned with my laundry and hung it up for me. They are looking after me today! Hurrah!
She checked the taps and cooker for me and admired the view from the kitchen window. ♥

I closed down the hardly-used computer and went to have a stand-up ablutioning session…

The water had gone cold again, Boo!
I’d ask for help… but from who?
Phycologist, will they tell me what to do?
Should I pray to a spirit or manitou?
Someone must help… can you?
At my age, I’ll not take the long view…

A sunset photograph was taken.
An hour or so later, another was taken.
Then, a close-up of the same view.

Started to get the meal ready, and by the time I’d got it cooking, this was the amazing view on offer.
I did take another wider shot, but that managed to avoid going on the SD card and floated off into the ether. Huh!

How did you do? Of course, I got them all within 4 approximately four seconds…
Well, 4 of them in about an hour… Hehe!

Well, them cheapo wrong pies that I have ordered too many of… tasted great! An overall flavour rating of 7.8/10… the tatties let it down.

arrived. When he entered the room, he handed me two envelopes from the Royal Mail. I asked him to take off the left & right leg strappings and the diabetic socks for me. After he’d gone, I investigated the two letters I’d had delivered. The first one was a bill from Meridian Care. Averaging £249 a week.
Then opened the second one, which initially confused me an iota or two…
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I could tell it was from The Ropewalk Audio Centre, and I expected an appointment for the hearing test… but no!
It was from the Dementia Services Audiology.
I couldn’t see an immediate link between Dementia and Hearing Problems? I considered that I may have misread it… but no! Number two in the long list of things in the advice section was clarification that this appointment is at the Ropewalk and not the QMC Hospital. It’s for 21st December, so I hope Kara can book me a lift there and back if she calls tomorrow. The 18-page questionnaire on Home Care Received still has to be completed and returned.

Sleep was constantly disturbed by two inflictions…
Firstly, by with his digs at my past afflictions, bad choices and being conned so easily.
But he seemed to give up after an hour or two, and hope of some rest returned… But, No!
visited me what seemed like every five minutes… it could have been shorter!

TTFNski, Folks!

Inchy: Fri 3 Nov 23 A preposterously implausible day!

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Not one of the best of days… again!
However, after losing many hours, having no WordPress help, and Firefox going all apeshit on me, then the interruptions when I got back on blogging, the good old reliable failings from
Kept failing to get a signal again! To date, as I write

03:35hrs: I stirred back to ersatz life in the c1966, 300 pound, second-hand charity-shop bought, crumb-containing, odour-retaining, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, nauseatingly beige coloured, non-working, virus-breeding recliner, with and giving me sharp pains whether I was moving or not!
The tummy pains were rumbling, and the unwanted pleasure was rampant! All apart, I assume, from the cold that’s coming on.

Taking off the , has never been more painful. And being on the receiving end of the pain.

Got the waste bags into one, along with the unremembered-eating six empty Cheesy Curl packets in the bin at the side of the ottoman.

Tried again to get a decent early morning shot…
Obviously, this failed again.

Made a brew of Gleangettie.

Off to the Porcelain Throne.
Ten minutes later, back again!

Tried again for a shot of the later view.
Ah, that’s a bit betterer!

THEN THE COMPUTER COCK-UPS!
1) Firefox went into processing mode.
Nothing I could do, so I left it to do its own thing.
Took a photo of the end of the car park. Had a rinse, then back to see how things were progressing with the Firefox…
Still working away… do whatever it was doing.
Made another brew for the one that went cold.

Firefox still working away…
I checked on what to have for nosh later.
Firefox still working away…
2) Then went on CorelDraw. However…
When using import to export, the swatch comes up full screen, and I can’t reduce it back to the original size to see the template simultaneously! Anger-Making!

came. I was at a low point when she arrived. Unsure if I’d lost my internet or not. And as I was telling her my woes… guess what happened? Followed by and a relatively long, violent period of flailing about from a .
& strappings put on for me. I was so fed up and frustrated I declined any painkillers.
I took two shots of the clouds now the rain had stopped, and they were a little better this time.
Beautiful!

After Sam departed, taking the laundry with her for me, I faffled about trying to cure the problem with the browser. Not the foggiest about what I was doing, and I got nowhere with the task at hand. Eventually, I had no idea how or why… the internet browser started working after many Windows opened that were too technical for me to understand and comprehend!

If I opened Firefox using the icon on the home page, I got a different setup showing. Using the the one in the bottom tray, and I got a usual one up? But…
I’d lost the connection to Grammarly!
I asked about this and explained things on the help page, but all I could get was a set of pre-answers to dozens of problems other than the one I needed help with.
Three hours later… I had to reinstall Grammarly. I ticked the icon to use it in Firefox, but this did not initially work. A message came up half an hour later, telling me that Grammarly is now installed for Firefox.
Praying, I closed everything down and rebooted.
Went into Firefox, my sites visited, and favourites came up; then I opened WordPress, the one I do need Grammarly to work on more than any other. SUCCESS!
By now, the evening Carer had arrived, and I was mentally drained and weary from the constant ailments and pains of the day. Asked if I wanted any painkillers, I replied, just two boxes, please! Haha! We did his Blood Pressure, and off he trotted home… with some treats in thanks, of course.

Now for the nosh-preparingTaste-Rating: 8.2/10.

Tried again to get some decent night shots of the view from the kitchenette as I washed the pots.
Not too bad?
It’s not too good either!

Well, if a cupboard handle dropped off one of mine, it wouldn’t matter to me. In fact, I have four of them missing… I just counted them! So I didn’t get the answer. Until I looked at this!

Acne and Eczema-faced Inchy,
Now scowls more, involuntarily,
Living life, unconventionality,
Errors, mistakes, made unintentionally,
Getting things right occasionally,
No… more like ultra rarely!
Decision-making, absurdly,
For an old man, he’s excellent immaturity,
Coping with his immobility,
Living with Peripheral Neuropathy,
Questioning his own sanity…
Recognises his vulnerability,
Accepting his lack of winnability,
Misses his previous imbecility,
Every day, Accifauxpas or a malady,
Addicted to his tabatière,
His life getting even more eerie,
His total lack of any theopathy!
His brain is crumbling, admittedly.
He thinks this is a terrible pity…
His life’s getting more demanding, more shitty!
Still, he likes to watch a documentary,
History, or maybe whodunnitry?
It gets harder for him to watch TV,
He still can’t manually pee!

This ode flowed out freely – sadly! Hehehe!

Inchy: Fri 22 Sept 2023, Lymphorrhea Lesion Leslie leaks a lake! And some Old Odes Galore!

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But the new spectacles are not up to scratch – Mind you, I have already scratched the lens on them. Cognitive Impairment Iris, the water geyser on the right leg has had to be bandaged… by me, what a mess I made of it. Little Inchie is giving nearly as much pain as Back-Pain-Brenda is! Plus, Concentration Konrad is along with all of these, making it hard work! Can’t hear very well either. Humph!
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Such a bad day for me. Worst in a long time. Confused, even more forgetful. Back-Pain-Brenda, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, Little Inchie bleeding, as were indeed poor Harold’s Haemorrhoids and the teeth. Then as I was about to get my head down in the early hours of this morning (Saturday), one of the right lymphatic leg leakage gysers burst open! Anyway, I must at least try to keep to at least an imitation of the events’ chronological order. (Which it is already tp late to do, innit?) But the chances of that are best minimal – in fact, I can guarantee they and the grammar will leave you as confused as I am! Tons of things have been missed off this record. Due to my impressively effective habit of losing things – like the notepad I wrote all my notes on… the hearing aids, which I got out to show Kara two days ago, and have not got the foggiest where I put them! Oh, and the new reading glasses have absconded as well. I’m not sure whether to blame Dementia Doreen or Cognitive Impairment Iris. Maybe the constant pain I’m in is sending me a smidge more doolally than it normally does?

Great colour in the nocturnal catheter night bag.

Ten hours later, with little in the way of memory, and realising the notebook had done a runner. Liberty-Global Virgin Media had gone down at least…

Back-Pain-Brenda had forced me to take extra forbidden by the District Nurse, painkillers. Then, poor Little Inchie started bleeding as I bent down to retrieve biscuit barrel, and hit my head on the edge of the cabinet. The left Cataract eye, felt like it had glass in it, and assisted Confusion Conrad in making this a terrible day for me.

Off to the Porcelain Throne…
This procedure was repeated five or six times over the day. With the same result! Zilch!

The toes remain in a two-tone shade.

Sorted the evening bags out.

I do recall Carer Chis coming n the last call of the day.
He cheered me up a smidgeon. I took his photo as he was preparing to give me the Maxitrol Eye Drops. Note how he keeps the light bulb covered as he puts them in for me?
Feeling a little perked up now, I took his Bloof Pressure etc. and put it in the NHS thingamajig. After the lad had gone, I inputted it, with excellent results coming back. Insisted he takes a drinkie & nibbles in thanks for his kindness.

Got the Wednesday blog finished at long last, and posted it of just before midnight. Realising as I did, that the potatoes on the crockpot had been cooking now for about 18 hours!
I went to investigate the condition of them… Haha! They were fine! Just right, but they had been in a low-heat setting.
I put the cheese & onion pasty in the microwave and went to attempt a wet room evacuation on the ? Porcelain Throne…
No, nothing moved. I might have my stomach blow up if I don’t get a clearout before long.

Got the meal served up, and washed the pots & pans. Nothing exciting I know, but I enjoyed it all the same. So tired out now, still with pains and aches, especially so with Back-Pain-Brenda and Little Inchies sufferings. Flavour-Rating: 7.6/10!

As I was just putting the dish and cutlery in the bowl of water to wash them… slipped and I nearly went over, clouted my knuckles on the corner of the sink, and at the same time felt wet dripping on my right foot. My immediate thought was that the retaining clip on the catheter must have opened… Then it dawned on me, the was now on my left leg?
Oh, ‘ecky thump!.
One of the Lymphorrhea Leslie water geysers had burst open, and the fluid coming out was spreading from between my toes, all over the kitchenette floor. That’s why the stick slipped I think? No panic, though! Oh, no… just the most humungous pissed-off session of my life! Which turned into a self-pitying bout of depression at my rotten, ever-worsening state of health medically and mentally.
I was so looking forward to getting some sleep after being up for so long and suffering a horrendous day… well, much more than 24 hours. Now, I struggle to find the tapes, bandages and pads, which I have never applied on my own before. I found the equipment quickly, as the flow of Lymph fluid dwindled to just a slow seeping-out stage.

Let’s face it, there couldn’t be much left in my body to come out after the imitation Niagra Falls event! Hehehe! It felt like I was wading through water as I got into the other room with the assorted medical stuff.
Uncertain about how to go with applying the coverings, I pressed on and hoped for the best. (Hoped for the best? Me? Hehehe!) I seem to recall several worries at this stage. This is not unusual as Tom Jones sang. I’ve to clean the mess up in the kitchen yet. What if I can’t stop the flow?
I recognised now what the bits of white on the kitchen floor were; I think they were skin.
Dizzy Dennis & Back-Pain-Brenda visited me, due to my breaking my strict instructions for the Falls Lady Sarah. As KI had no choice but to bend down to reach the lesion. It felt okay, and I was sure the flow had stopped within minutes of putting on my Heath Robinson medications.
Then noticed a new bruise on my other leg. Due mayhap, to my banging it on the cabinet as I stopped myself tumbling?

The agony never stops for muggings here. By the time I’d cleaned up the kitchen floor and mess, I found myself apologising to Back-Pain-Brenda… as if that was going to stop her hurting? Tsk!.
Inchy’s Ode to Getting Old

A picture I’d taken and forgot to put on earlier,
Today has been worthy of a two-finger gesture!
The hurt, confusion, and mental conjecture,
I miss nattering, a good blathering or clishmaclaver,
Old age brings ills, lurgies and conjecture…
Fears, and worries, one can’t disencumber.
I used to ruminate, contemplate, consider,
My brain’s now an expert at ecdemomania,
I was considered a flibbertigibbeter,
I often wonder over life, whysoever?
Philosophy is hard when one’s not clever,
Although, I used to be a willing forgiver…
Oh, forgive me, I’m starting to yatter…
Although, does this really matter?
I’m also known as a prognosticator,
An empath, clairvoyant, or prophesier,
Closer to the grave, I’m more of a toeier,
Now the brains getting slower, foggier…
Just to think, I was a half-decent squash player,
Ageing, deciding, opting? No, I’m now a procrastinator…
With physical and mental pains… it’s a bugger!
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A FEW OLD ODES

TTFN