– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I made a deliberate mistake in this Ode; Ahem! I wrote Further, instead of another word. Would
anyone like to guess what it should have been?
Deliberate mistake… I am a fibber! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Much more out-of-it than with-it today.
Moments for sheer frustration, littered with strange, weird, eerie, unaccountable moments of ‘Soditisms’.
During these spasms, I was so high that nothing seemed to bother me in the least. But, they were short and rare and were usually followed by a Depression full of self-loathing, then a realisation that I am to blame for my past guilt. Then, the circle would start again.
I think I’ve mentioned these to the Doctor, but I’m not sure. Maybe not; I’ve not seen her for many months.
On the bright side, the throughout the day, added up to only four!
I left the hot water tap (faucet) running again and burnt the food in the oven. The eyes are terrible nowadays. Any distance and things seem to have another image above themselves. Like a shadow, but clear. I’m looking now through the balcony window, and all the houses look like they have two roofs.
The catheter is a lot less painful than yesterday, mind you. My coughing has also calmed down compared to last night. I’ve walked into nothing. Fair do’s, I’ve dropped the cutlery, saucepan, washing up bottle, picker-upperer, tablets and my pen (four times).
So, all in all, a typical day.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Night pouch.
Medicationings.
My ankles look fine.
The first emptying of the day bag.
Opening the balcony windows.
Over the next five hours, the views remained similar. I kept nipping out to take a view or two. Between making a mess of this blog. Gorgeous! Wonderful. Magnificent. Wunderbar!
I was busying away and getting a little done. Caregiver calls only confused me. After they left, I found it nearly impossible at times to get back to what I was working on, often veering off to the wrong project and getting deeper into a mind-muddle. Memory-Blanks were rampant. For some reason, I did not keep up with the memory notes on the pad. Now, so long later (Saturday A.M. started on this section), the photos help prompt me a little. Not many of them, either. Any slight disturbance, change whatever, and I was lost again. Sorry about this
Fifth Catheter Bag Emptying (I think).
Gave up computing. I was in a long-lasting period of haziness. But can recall Carer Christopher arriving. Cheeky-Faced Chris. Hehe! While talking, I remembered I’d left the sausages cooking in the oven… yet again! I hastened hobblingly to the kitchen. Got the mini sausages, which were not burnt too much, into the pan of BBQ beans and tomato sauce with chunky vegetables and stirred while rewarding them, I ate up most of them with two brown baguettes.
I took this night view and got settled into the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner, in search of Sweet Morpheus. But the mind would not let me rest enough to capture the bliss of sleep. Immediately started an attack of lambasting, self-hating, repeating so many things, wrong choices I’d made over the tears. Even an occasion that took place when I was just an ankle-biter, which I was not proud about doing… it was horrible being forced to listen to myself, listing and bringing back to mind the shame and self-disgust from the time all those so many years ago. As I tossed and twisted, I felt the Catheter tube pulling on Little Inchie. I realised then that I had not attached the Nocturnal Pouch yet. So, I did!
By the time I’d fumbled about to get the bags linked, my & both went off simultaneously. Miraculously, bearing in mind the viciousness of the leg dance, I didn’t go over or tumble. I’ve not had a fall all week. . I may regret saying this later, Haha!
4:00hrs: I woke feeling oddly a little sprightly (for me). As I tried to rise from the c1968, tatty, scruffy, unkempt, virus, microorganism, bug, bacterium, bacillus, germ, parasite producing, uncomfortable, incommodious, unwelcoming and disease-fermenting second-hand, eyesorely-horrendously grungy beige-coloured, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, moth-eaten, non-working, itch-encouraging, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, catheter tube yanking, recliner. As I did so, gave way on me. The bum bounced down into the recliner, and I got an instant comment from Harold’s Haemorrhoids as they burst, bled and stung. Bad enough, you may think? This is where comedy came into the morning’s equation! I’d fallen on the TV remote, and there I was in the middle of cursing and verging on self-pity as the TV came on. That momentarily confused me, realised what had happened and got some kitchen roll in the Protection Pants, as I now had , in front, along with bleeding at the back! I lost the first hour of the day cleaning up and medicating. I Got the nocturnal catheter pouch off.
Then a dawned. As I was metamorphosed into an old, miserable, grouchy, depressed, frustrated, bleeding, in pain, downhearted, depressed, melancholy, forlorn, glum, demoralised, fed up, down in the dumps, in the doldrums, unnerved, chagrined, miffed, sour, sulky, sullen, surly, saddened, subdued, almost sepulchral Inchy.
But within minutes, a stroke of good luck eased my misery by taking my mind off of it. As I was leaving the wet room, I clouted my head, this time on the door frame! 99% of the time, it will be the right shoulder. Blame can be attached to: ,, , or any of the ailments really. On this occasion, the culprits were, I think, and or . The eyes are worse than ever now, and I’m sure I’ll have kicked the bucket before my turn comes for the operation. But, sorting youngsters out early is more vital. They have the prospect of living many years with their sight adjusted. We long in the tooth old things, must accept this.
This morning, the sky was a glorious blue hue again. My confusion was worse than usual for the next hour or two. I got out of the wet room, put some Dettol Cream on my head, and got on with the waste bag sorting. A wet, warm sensation from the lower regions. I went back to the wet room to investigate.
There was a smidgen more bleeding from Little Inchy, but it’s not worth mentioning compared to the tsunami that was released yesterday. Throughout the day, the bleeding was far, even less than it is usually. Had a wash & shave. Then checked the state of the ankles. No doubt that my was getting better bit by bit.
The areas where the are coming from remain a little rough and red. No pain when the shocks don’t come, and when they do hit, it wakes you if you’re sleeping every time! But the pain lasts for about two seconds, if that. is to blame.
Getting lighter now, I took another Kodak Tim picture from the kitchen window again. The streetlights were off now. As per usual, the end car parking turnaround area had its regular little bit of a mudslide in it again.
Carer Shaquille arrived. I made an order the J Sainsbury’s for next week. Blogging.
Amending, blogging, correcting, blogging-getting more things wrong, blogging… well, you get the message. Tsk!
Carer Kara arrived. She sorted out the banking problem and said she would try to get in touch with Norton about the three times the bill was taken from the debits another time. She ran out of time today. Care Victor, did the last two calls. I took these photos later. Then went into what I believe was a non-apolectic seizure. Not a mind-block. Because it was like blinking, and an hour had gone, but nothing was done whatsoever when I came around back to this miserable existence. After the , I’d discover I’d been doing the blog, mopping the kitchen floor, or started cooking something while out of it. A procedure Hehe! Nothing gets done as if I’d fallen asleep, but I know it wasn’t that. I think. might play a part in this ailment. At times, I come back to the reality of stinging pains in the lower regions from the catheter bag being too full, and I have to get it emptied swiftly, ASAP. The sunset was about over by the time I regained a modicum of brain control, rejoined the menagerie of life on offer, and got back to the reality and struggle of living.
I DIDN’T
I gave up on the blogging.
Made myself a meal. It tasted delicious, too! I could feel my burnt finger on the oven rack and the pain of dropping the hot oven tray onto my foot. Landing on my . But the meal was worth the hassle.
Wrote by Inchie c1953
Search for the meaning of truth,
Look until you’re long in the tooth,
You may find it, Gawd’s strewth,
Facts will have to be dealth…
With those who demand wealth, Humans want for themselves,
Oligarchs will believe in elves!
23:50hrs: Today was not one of my better days: not that I have any better days, of course. Just the odd one, less farcical or more confusing, the odd busy day, seizure day, Out-of-it day. Whoopsiedangleplop and or Accifauxpas days, or a mixture, would be a typical day for me. Today was dominated over all other ailments, but the sheer pain I’m still going through with the Catheter tube in Little Inchie… is more painful for longer periods than it has ever been. Standing up, sitting down, bending, stretching, and hobbling is all agony. Honestly, I’m sitting here typing this, and the stinging pains from Little Inchy are atrocious. I am going to take extra Codeines now; it’s the only thing that touches the pain relief.
I’d risked taking off the PPs in hopes that there would be less irritation pulling on Little Inchie, but the pain just carries on the same. Now, all I want is for the fungal lesion to start bleeding, and I’ll have the right bloody mess to contend with and sort out.
I’d better start the Diary.
04:00hrs: I woke full of life, contented and joyfully… Lying Git!
Urine is even darker.
This is a terrible Kodak Tim kitchen view effort from Inchy. He tried two more, but they were worse. Haha!
Carer Richard arrived. Again, I forgot to ask him to put the diabetic socks on. Tsk!
While starting the blog off, out of the blue, the pain from Little Inchie and the point of the tube entering kicked off. No matter what I tried, the pain persisted. Even took some extra Codeine and Paracetamol, but no effect! It was so bad this time, and persistent with it. Later, I took the PPs off, but it made no difference. It’s wearing me down.
End car park view.
Blogging not going well at all. Concentration crap, and feeling a smidgen sorry for missen.
Carer Selina arrived. She was on a domestic call but didn’t have time to do the hoovering or mopping up, which was all I needed. She insisted on helping me get a wash, shave, etc. It was embarrassing in the extreme. But she was good at the job and knew where and when I needed help, particularly in the getting dressed stage.
I medicated, got the dressing gown on, and she put on the diabetic socks for me. I thank her. Selena took the laundry down for me. Bless her.
Unbelievably, early in the afternoon, the pains still haggling at me, I felt the daily weariness dawn on me again. I made a meal, intending to get some sleep in afterwards.
Carer Marie arrived. She was a little better with her coughing today. I called it the Lurgie, and she said it was called the ’30-Day Cough’. I bet that’s what Sister Jane has got? Marie was still not herself; well, she was. What I meant was she wasn’t her usual bubbly self. But we managed a natter laugh as she tended to me.
I settled in the £300 second-hand shop bought in 1966. Moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibbling, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not working recliner, in search of sleep.
Forgetting all about the chips in the oven!
However, I found Sweet Morpheus within minutes. It was bliss… Then Carer Christopher arrived to wake me up. He attached the night pouch, and off he went, all without turning the light on, thoughtful that was. As he was about to leave… … I detected the smell of the burning oven chips! Got up and struggled with the pain from Little Inchie and carrying the night bag to the kitchen. . Too well burnt even for me! I checked each one and rescued three of them to have itch the meal. I substituted some potato chips from a packet and put them on with the three rescued chips. .
The low taste rating was due to the sickly sweet frankfurters I’d bought. Urgh!
I soon polished off fodder, not the frankfurters, though.
I washed the pots, settling down again after getting some sleep. Arrived and immediately noticed the pain I was in. He called someone and told me they thought it might be just an infection. Someone will call to look at it tomorrow. (We’ll see) Kind of him to bother.
Surprisingly, I eventually found sleep. About three hours later, my alarm started. This put an end to any chance of further sleep. I rose, not a little confused as to what time and day it might have been (23:40 hrs).
Nearly falling over the forgotten, I’d got a night bag on the way to the wet room. A bit messy.
I returned to the main room and realised I’d left the nocturnal pouch in the wet room, then emptied it.
I made up the waste bags into one large green one, and although I felt vague, the pains from Littler Inchie seemed less severe. Keep your fingers crossed!
05:10hrs; Got up to get the ablutions done before the Carer arrived. A lousy ablution session… mind you, the evacuation was a good one. Hahaha!
The blogging was another nightmare. mistakes, errors, corrections and frustrations.
It was Sister Jane. Meridian Care had phoned her to see if my Caregiver had arrived yet. Poor Jane is not an early riser—the opposite, actually. She was coughing away; she’s got the Lurgie, too. Naturally, she did not know. I expect a late call this morning. But it doesn’t matter at all to me. We had a natter, and I listened to her problems for a change. She asked why they did not call me. But, to be fair, they may have when I was in the wet room. Also, I’m not sure if my new telephone number has been passed on to them or not. I gave it to the flats Meridian set-up. He came later anyway. No problems.
The pain from Little Inchies Fungal Lesion was horrendous all day long. It didn’t calm down until well late in the night. The Carer saw my state and rang for advice. Said they would send someone to check on it on Monday. We’ll see. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Dark, too dark again.
Tried to take a photograph or two of the moon. The first one was fairish, the second warped.
Off to the wet room for a shower, shave and shush.
The preshave medicationalisationing was a fiddly and, at times, painful experience. It was the most painful and medicating session ever! Things have not been right down there since the last nurse replaced the catheter. I don’t need to move, and he hurts! If I could, I’d bottle the pain and send it to the Doctors with a note: “Here you are, try some of this now will you listen to me and help?”
Ablutions were sorted, alarm wristlets and alert bands on, and my ear holes were olive oiled. I struggled to stop stopped and creamed. , Cream on the . Barrier Creamed all around . Then tended to the bruise from the INR blood drain. Doesn’t usually show up this bad The feet & ankles were looking healthier. I turned to leave with the waste bin in hand and traditionally gave the door frame a charge with my right shoulder, setting off a few minutes’ worth of pain from .
Worst Ablution Session in a long time.
Took the made up bin gag to the front door. Can you see a face in the carrier bag? Think of Red Dwarf’s Kryten’s face. I could see it. Hehe!
The carer was late, not that it mattered. Half an hour later, the landline rang out, making me jump. It was Sister Jane. Meridian Care had phoned her to see if my Caregiver had arrived yet.
I concentrated on the hard slog of blogging for hours and hours; just not very successfully. Little Inchie was so painful at times, which did not help me concentrate on blogging. Humph!
Carer Kimberley arrived. She could not give me any painkillers because it had not been 4 hours between calls. So I took some Paracetamols. The pain from poor Little has never been worse. I took off the PPs I put on after washing, hoping it would not irritate things as much. But no, it’s just as bad now. With not having the pants on, I caught myself catching the catheter tube more often; AARGH!
What an amazing hue!
Despite the discomfort and sheer agony from little , the wee was flowing freely.
I added a packet of PP’s to the Asda order for Tuesday. I tried some different kinds this time
Carer Israel arrived while I was struggling to walk into the kitchen and showed his concern for me. That was nice. He rang someone and spoke to them. 111 probably. He told me they said it was likely to be an infection and a nurse would be calling to check it out tomorrow. Bless his cotton socks. He also had a quick sweep-up in the kitchen for me when he saw how painful it was for me to bend, stretch, bend, walk and keep a hold on things. I much appreciated his efforts.
Back on the blog. Then noticed how bright it looked outside, and I took this truly wonderful shot with … I love this one. . Bootiful!
. Zoomed-in shot. . Wider shot.
Burnt to perfection! Just how I love them to be.
. What a magnificent view, From my kitchen window, too, I’m pleased with these two, I went into Smug-Mode, anywho, Not a smudge, blotch or curlicue, Decent sky shots were overdue, Best view, hitherto!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Woke and rose at 04:15hrs: After over five hours of kipping! Grrreat! Took me a while to nod off, but I only had three, I think
And didn’t visit me once! But, as usual, when I moved, this time it was both & giving me grief, and it must have taken me five minutes to get to the wet room. More on that later.
The absolute worst thing to affect me was in the late afternoon, & launched an attack that I ended up surrendering to and gave up trying to do this blog. Defeated!
With the coughing and downfall of skin when the forehead. , I’m surprised I have any skin left on my head; it was falling off all day. Later I rang Sister Jane, and she and hubby Pete were not in good health at all. Jane’s cough sounded terrible. I’m worried about her now. As I moved to get the B17 tablets that Jane had told me had arsenic in them and told me not to use them, to read the label – I went down on one knee. Suddenly, I dropped the landline telephone. , I took a tumble when gave way. I grappled my way back up on my feet to get to the landline; poor Jane was coughing away something wicked. So many people seem to have this ‘Lurgie’ thing this week. Several Carers, the nurse, the electrician… oh, and me. I hope it’s not another form of Covid, and HMG wants to keep it quiet, with the election coming up?
Much later, I tried again to get some blogging done. Well, I did a bit, but it was error-ridden and amazingly hard work, trying to keep a clear head on the task.
Passed well, not a bad colour.
Concrete, mush, torpedo, gooey, nothing moved, wet and watery, squirty… Never the same twice in a row! You watch it now I’ve said that. Hehe!
Kitchen view.
Back to the wet room. Not for the again, but to clean up Little Inchies bleeding, I caught the catheter tube closing the window. Talk about hurt! Cleaned it up and medicated things
On leaving the wet room, I saw the moon high in the sky. I thought this is worth photographicalisationing. But could I get a decent shot? No! This is getting bad now. This time, as I was trying to get a decent shot, a , not only that but joined in as well. Then, after taking the sad pictures and closing the window… , I knocked the knife block off of the window ledge. The tip end of the cheese knife broke off when it hit the floor.
Naturally, these incidents didn’t phase or bother me in the slightest. I just laughed them off.
I made a brew of Glengettie and got the computer on to work on this blog. A new Caregiver arrived and Medicated me, put the diabetic soaks on for me, and had a little natter. What about escapes me now. Tsk!
I computed for it appears, for five hours, according to the clock, but not according to the work and progress not done on the blog. I may have suffered a or maybe , but I recall nothing of this time whatsoever. The rot had set in.
called, and I bluffed my way through. I think, in fact, I did not stop talking to the poor gal. It would help if I could remember what she was talking about. I think I may have, possibly, conceivably mentioned the Lurgy because Joanne sounded like she had a sore throat… or did she?
I did continue on the blog, but it was a bit farcical. I’ll have to get u[ early in the morning so I can get a shave and shower before the Carer arrives, then get back on this Inchy blog. I’d taken some photos… I know this cause I found them on the SD card. What amazing views. Gorgeous. Oh, how I’d love to recall the pleasure of taking them.
These two below, I took later. I do recall taking these.
I won’t make a meal yet cause it’s close to the last Carer calling time. I’m a different being compared to the one I was hours ago. Struggling a bit here!
But I’m so glad I got the graphics and ode done early on.
Best nosh in a long time.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – You Take Care Out There, Please!
This Friday, the brain had its usual periods of hazy craziness, with intervals of it being floury. You know, messy, unable to sort out. Perhaps it might have been mini-seizures, I don’t know. Others are more aware of my actions when one is visiting than I am. A Carer had the heart to speak with me after being present when I departed spiritually from reality. Assuring me all that happened differently, I could or didn’t speak, but my mouth moved as if I was doing so? I kept doing things silently, some actions not being relevant to the situation, and I had no idea this was happening. I wouldn’t worry about it, at least. So glad to hear someone explain the unknown to me. Hehehe!
This was the first time I’d had a seizure when someone was here to see one. At least, I think it was.
The mail was delivered. I usually put it on the old DVD so Carer Kara can go through it when she comes the following week, but I can’t find it anywhere now.
The Diabetic socks arrived, all three packages, within an hour, each delivered by a different carrier. Photos are further down. Two were extra-long diabetic bamboo socks that looked fine. The bigger one was cotton socks that I ordered by mistake. Mistake making? Me? Hard to believe! Hahaha! I left the oven and hob on as well. The hot water faucet (tap) I let run cold… again.
Three electricians arrived to install the new fire alarms and reset the power box. That was mayhem with a capital M. At one point, they had to turn off the power, which caused me to semi-panic. I was scared that the panic alarm box, the internet, and the TV might not come back on again. The very patient electrician checked everything came back on alright; damned kind of him, too! Thank you! All working! The Fire Alarm was somehow triggered in the flat. I sounded very soft and quiet to my hearing. To the others, the klaxon was driving mad. So, one good point in my being so deaf. Har-har! The brigade arrived and checked out the flat. One spoke to me and walked away. I’ve no idea what he said to me; he’d got his BA kit on. He was soon off after talking to the electricians; at least, I think he did.
Did Carer Victor’s Health Checks on his last call. Made a decent nosh, much earlier than usual. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
. . . . .
Was the Catheter’s nocturnal pouch was not very full? Then again, I’d not been sleeping for long. The NHS colour grading looked like a number four or five.
I rose from the c1968, tatty, scruffy, unkempt, uncomfortable, virus, microorganism, bug, bacterium, bacillus, germ, parasite-producing, and disease-fermenting, bought second-hand, eyesorely horrible, grungy beige-coloured, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, moth-eaten, non-working, nocturnal-crumb-ridden, itch-encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, catheter tube yanking, recliner. With insisting on giving way several times, I hobbled almost comically to the wet room. The attempted evacuation was a wasted effort. I was thinking that at least for once, a rarity, were not bleeding, and I was nearly caught out by collapsing, giving way, enough for a tumble. It should have been one, really, but I fell in the right direction and caught hold of the shower chair in time to stop myself from hitting the rather hard-floored deck. Infected ankles and legs looked so much calmer this morning. I washed Little Inchy, Harold’s Hemorrhoids, dried them, and medicated them. Then, I creamed the on my forehead and arms. I sprayed the eye treatment on the lids and olive-oiled the earholes. I just remembered at the last minute that I’d not put the barrier cream on the tummy infection yet. So, I did! It’s hard work getting old, Haha!
I took the wet-room waste bag and amalgamated it with rubbish from the other two bins. Making two bags of waste, and took them to the front door. The amazing blue-hued sky in this poor-quality photo I took from the kitchenette window is so pretty. Although that’s not the word I wanted to use; it’ll do until I remember what it was. Mind-Blank here!
I got the laundry bag sorted. I must remember to ask someone to take it down for me later. Then, I double-checked that I had put in the wash capsule and softener. They were all present.
Blimus! The catheter day pouch had filled up quickly again. The colour looked very much healthier, too. Bent down to empty the day pouch into the urine jug. As I was getting back upright… ! twinged into action. I was so surprised, with her being so kind to me lately. She hit me hard, and I took an extra Codeine 30g. She’s never hurt this bad before. But an hour or so later, the Codeine had done its job and had eased off. I’m so glad to report.
I scurried hobblingly back to the wet room . There was no doubt I made the right decision in rushing to get there. Whatever blockage stopped me from passing minutes ago, this time, was back in full charge of the procedure. Wet but sticky, smelly and splashy! Cleaning things up took me a while.
I made a grand strong brew of Glengettie tea. Then, at long last, I got the computer on. No biscuits dunked. Was I getting more dedicated to the new diet? No, I let the drink go cold, getting into the blogging. Humph! A few hours later, I took a break. I needed it because I was fed up with making so many errors on the blog (grammatical and chronological).
I decided to open the socks that were delivered yesterday. The cotton socks I wrongly ordered were a pack of 12 different-coloured socks. I must ask my brother-in-law Pete if he’d like to have them. They are long and warm. I’ll try to remember to ring and find out if he fancies them. Good quality they are. The next pack contained 4 pairs of proper diabetic long socks. dark grey, I think. The Carer later put a pair of these on for me. Excellent fit, comfortable and warm. The last pack included two pairs of knee-high bamboo socks. These looked far thinner and stretchier than those above, and they cost an awful lot more. I stored the socks, well, I say stored...
I took this snap of the late afternoon view with the sun and clouds. I am back on the blogging and have started creating the ode.
had once again filled up at a good rate of knots. Still a healthy colour, mind you.
I checked on the Asda order made for next week. To see if I needed anything taking off or adding to it. I took off three items and put a few on it. The original total was for £52.24. After toying with things, it now stands at £66.84! When will I ever learn?
Another snap of the view of the sky. I went into one of my spells. Can you see the bird, plane, or face as I did? Bearing in mind that is making me see double, a shadow of everything attached. So maybe you can’t see them. Hehe!
An early meal tonight. Potato rostis, Dutch tomatoes, Anya potatoes, and caramelised pork sausages. With a sliced baguette. The Heinz tomato ketchup with pickle was well used. It went down well. I’m glad I remembered to eat early, thus avoiding the Carer calling just when I was starting to eat.
What’s wrong with the lower circle? Fair enough, I can’t make out what it is.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – The giving up in need of sleep arrived even earlier today. I was doing really well, considering the lack of sleep last night. (15 minutes) – I gave up trying and rose (02:00hrs) to visit the wet room. I washed, shaved and had a near-normal evacuation this morning. But I was struggling to get my head together, although it cleared shortly afterwards. I was surprised at how well I was doing mentally and physically under the circumstances. Naturally, this was not to continue. I knew somehow that the ‘Big Fade‘ was bound to fall sooner or later. I took a snap of the morning view.
The Asda order arrived; thank heavens I’ll not need another until Wednesday 28th (On order)
I sorted the waste bags. Later, Shaquille took them to the rubbish chute for me. That was kind of him. The Asda order arrived.
This is a big one this time. Four items are missing, I’m glad there were, too! Well, they were out of stock. While taking the carriers filled by the driver for me to the kitchen, Carer Shaquille arrived and got the others. After tending to my needs, off he trotted and I sorted the groceries out. I’d got some drinks in for the bladder encouraging. Buxton Spring water as usual. Baguettes and the potato cake rissoles, rosis whichever they are called; I love the taste and flavour of these! I got caramelised sausages, lemon desserts, and some Jerk Patties. I also had tomatoes and Frankfurters. I may be tired out, but I think I will eat well this week. A ready-made meal feast!
Cumberland pies, Shepherd’s pie, sausage & mash, and, what I plan to have for today, a Toad in the Hole meal for two, it said on the box?
It was a challenge to get everything in the fridge. I tried various combinations to get all the fodder into the fridge.
As you can see, it wasn’t easy to do. Hehehe!
Although the freezer was filled, and I got all three breads and baguettes in alright, I’m just glad I forgot to order any chips and pasties because they would never have fit in. Haha!
Got on the computer and started with CorelDraw, putting on the SD cards photos from .
Then I went to the kitchen to get the kettle on. I made a brew, and then I went back to the computer, where I diligently stayed grafting away until arrived. She didn’t have much time, but she checked my order for the diabetic socks from Amazon, and she found I’d ordered the wrong ones! Then she selected some proper bamboo socks, and put in an order for some of them. ETA tomorrow by 22:00hrs. I’ll be scared to try to sleep now, in case I miss them. You can’t win, can you? Well, I can’t.
Started feeling tired & weary again. I was about to save everything down ready to close down the computer, and a message from Norton came on the screen. Something like… the writing; “We have found 3,429 errors on your hard drive. Click here to repair” The 3,439 number stayed in the memory, cause it frit me! So I clicked!
Well, the repair started, and 30 seconds later, Norton told me the Repairs were Completed. A restart would be needed. Not wanting to lose the work I had done, I tried to save the blog and CorelDraw work. But Windows also told me a restart.
So, I lost all my heart. The hours of work will all be lost and need to be done again in the morning. Humph!
I nervously pressed the restart.
Then, when it reloaded, Norton said I needed a Scan needed doing, so I did. It came out all clear.
After refusing several pricey and complicated, not fully understood offers of various route protectors and dark internet extras, I closed down windows.
I sat for a moment, ultra depressed at losing all the work, then… THE BIG FADE FELL – AGAIN! That was it. Once again, my body and mind told me to get some sleep, so I tried. Carer Israel came, the laundry returned, and I put it away in the morning. Sleep was my main unfulfilled aim at the time. The Barrier cream was delivered at the same time. The night shots taken of the view looked rather like the mood I was in. Glum, dark, depressed… Arrgh!
05:45hrs; I was up sharpishly due to the need of the . That took me instead a long time to evacuate. I got visions of my body being split in half at one point, lengthwise, of course. Hehehe! Things got stuck part-way out, and the pain almost made me shout out! Hahaha! With the misleading sense and rumbling innards sending me rushing to the wet room, I didn’t have time to remove the nocturnal catheter pouch.
I exited the wet room. I’ve been in it that long; I think I need another shave! I took this shot of the blue morning’s incredible view.
The ankles were a smidgen inflamed this morning. Still handing out the odd few sort of typical DC shocks. . The right leg is more persistent than the left.
I sorted the waste bags out and found that yesterday had not been taken yet. I’ll try to remember to ask whichever Carer calls later. The laundry had not been returned. I forgot about asking about the bin bags (Wednesday morning, there were six bags), but I did tell two carers about the laundry not being returned. I can’t take them myself, as it is far too early, so I forget! I found this, whatever it is, on the SD card. I wonder what it was. I hope it wasn’t urgent.
Carer Richard arrived. I forgot to ask him to get my socks back on. Tsk! But I did remember to take the Vitamin B17 tablet.
I asked Carer Kara to put them on for me; Kara did this on the midday call. ♥ And I was a lot warmer afterwards. Haha!
The bladder rapidly filling up the . The urine looked a little darker, which was unusual for this time of the day.
I got a call on the new landline. My beloved, heart-throbbing Phlebotomy nurse, Hristina, was from the Deep Vein Thrombosis, Warfarin INR unit. She told me she would be coming to see me and take some blood tomorrow between 09:00 and 1100. ♥ A most welcome visitor!
I took a photo of the most deliciously looking sky and wonderful clouds from the kitchenette window. I found this one appealing. Is that the right word?
I’d been doing so well with the CorelDrawing. I made graphics and News Snippets and went to make a brew. I don’t know what caused it, but I suddenly felt drained and washed out. My heavy eyes, spirit, ID, Alto-Ego, loins, innards, joints, and brain insisted that I stop everything and get some sleep, so I tried to. I got down in the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner. My very being was desperate for sleep, but could I get to sleep? No! Despite my feeling so tired! The well-used ploy of putting the TV on, which usually sends me off into Sweet Morpheus Land when the adverts come on, did not work this time. I just sat there, watching the TV for hours, and not seeing it, if you know what I mean. The brain talking away to me, asking why I am not sleeping when my body demands it! Well, I didn’t know. The eyelids drooped, but I remained sleepless. This was so unnatural and surreal. I decided to get into the bed, turn off all the lights, get comfy, and nod off. Which I did, desperate to get some kip! I got settled, and the resident above me clattered about. It was not his fault, but judging by the type of noise, I think he had dropped his Zimmer or walking stick. It took me ten minutes or so, but I drifted off to sleep. Only for me to be unceremoniously woken by the repetitious . One single twinge; always followed by another within five minutes or so. I put up with it for an hour or so, then gave up and got up. I caught the moon smiling at me through the oddly misty-looking night and photographed it. It was not a bad effort on the first one. Then, I managed to take another decent one. I was beginning to approach delving into class one, super grade A . Ah, back to my usual photographicalisationing skills on this third one, an attempted close-up frame. I thought it would be a good one, but I found out in the morning when I retrieved these from the SD card what a mess I made of it.Hey-Ho!
Tonight, I had a canned meal. A tin of potatoes, stewed steak, and chunky vegetable soup were warmed up in a saucepan. I’d got some Milk Roll bread to dunk in it. I put it on low heat and meandered back to the £300 second-hand shop purchased, c1966, welt-causing, uncomfortable, not-working, itch-inspirational, crumb-containing recliner. THEN I FELL ASLEEP! Just when I didn’t want to nod off, I did! There are no photos of the burnt meal and saucepan cause I was furious with myself! I dished the contents and cleaned the saucepan, floor and stove. I’m sorry I sat down again, now!
I got more canned food out of the cupboard and, more or less, made the same meal again, standing by it all the time I prepared it to avoid having another. I got settled again, this time back in the recliner to avoid. Yet again, could I get back to sleep? No! I gave up and got up. After one 30-minute burst of bliss, called sleep all day and night, it was not good!
This bodes badly for tomorrow’s energy requirements.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – This prompted some happy memories below. Yes, I’ve had plenty of them over the years – well, several, verging on a few – okay, the odd one! Her name was Sue. She worked at a Wimpy Bar (The McDonald’s of my day). We would meet at lunch and walk in the sunshine through Nottingham Castle, do a bit of sweaty groping, and then return to the Wimpy. The chips were made from potato paste and were cooked in the oil for 30 seconds, as I recall. I also recall the prices. Changed these old menus to the ‘new’ decimal money so that any whippersnappers can see what we paid. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Much too dark!
Great!
Bin bags sorted into one
Made a mug of Glengettie. The blog updating began.
Iceland delivery arrived.
Not a lot. Because Iceland had three items unavailable, this brought down my total cost to just below the minimum charge that is required for me to get a free delivery. The swines charged me nothing for delivery… but a £4 for a small order charge! Humph!
The morning has broken…
Blimey filled up again!
Front car park at the flats.
Delivery. Toilet brush in a square box Needing assembly.
All done!
Filled up again.
I got this photo from the web. Why and what for I forget.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Several times today, I experienced moments of quietism, almost mysticism, involving quiet contemplation. On another day, I may have called them mind-blanks or PN Seizures. But not today! I think I enjoyed them. Not that I am aware of what they contained, but it is a sensation of, well, a degree of self-satisfaction and a rare understanding of things. No, I never felt an understanding of things before!
Of course, I can’t recall what they were. Tsk!
Hopefully, these little mental gems I write may help someone working in psychiatry, occupational therapy, Community Mental Health, or counselling glean whatever I’m waffling on about. They may kindly inform me of their findings afterwards. It would be nice to know why I wrote them in the first place. A plea for help, mayhap?
04:10hrs: The nocturnal catheter colour was much improved. Also, was much less than it has been.
A terrible photo of the morning view.
Mostly liquid sludge!
The right leg was looking good again. Of course, were hitting me throughout the day, but nothing as bad as they were when I was supposed to be sleeping. Every one of them woke me up (well, they would, I guess), but I soon nodded off again, awaiting the next one to arrive. The pain from them only lasted for a couple of seconds.
Carer arrived as I was starting to update the blog. Back to the blogging, photographs being uploaded from the … and… The Pictures folder suddenly went into full-screen mode! I imagine I hit the wrong combination on the keyboard. () But there were no resize buttons on the tabs, and the arrows to resize were not working either. What a mess I got into trying to sort it out. I asked Google, copied down the procedure given, and followed it. Of course, it didn’t work.
I thought I must have copied it wrongly, so I tried again. The problem was that when I went to the picture window, it blocked out all the advice on the Google page! I checked the procedure and wrote it down more clearly. Then I tried again. No Luck!
I went back to Google and searched for other advice there. Many were too technical for me to understand.
I found one. To get to the list, I had to press the F button, scroll down to Size, and press Enter. Size was the first item on the list, but it was not highlighted, so I couldn’t get into it to follow the rest of the advice.
Then, I tried stab-in-the-dark procedures. I had no idea what I was doing, so I turned off the computer and restarted it, hoping things would be back to normal when rebooted. No! Oh, No, no, no! I often wish that one could turn off life and reboot it to see if the body and mind might have reset themselves to default mode! Hehehe!
The flaming picture window opened in full mode again. Then, I realised that it was not in full mode before because, this time, it filled the screen entirely, thus revealing the bottom left option of closing the ‘Hide Folders’ button. I pressed it, and the screen became a smidgen smaller, allowing the bottom right seize arrow to be accessed—WUNDERBAR! I spent the rest of the day a bag of nerves in case I repeated the wrong key combination and did it again. The ticking eye and twitching of the lower lip started! I was a bag of nerves!
So, another two hours plus was lost!
I went to make a brew of Glengettie, and the colouration of the lunchtime view was terrific. Straight ahead. Then, I took a shot of the Cannabis-Growers road.
As I returned to make the brew. And the state of the kitchen floor brought forth shame and guilt! Flash Speed Mop utilised. They are crap! Mind you, they did pick up some of the dirt. Hahaha!
Gorgeous afternoon clouds
Found this attached to an email.
What is it, please?
As it got a little later, I just couldn’t resist taking more snaps of the clouds.
I made a nosh, took a photo of it, got settled, and ate it. What happened to the photo that was not on the SD card is a mystery. Nothing new there!
I was well into the land of nod and without any of the awakenings, being kind to me! And left me alone, too. But the Carer came in to wake me instead. Hahaha! I was not compos-mentis and forgot to ask him to remove the socks and attach the nocturnal catheter pouch. I found out in the morning that I had very dark urine and an overflowing bag, and with the socks on, the shocks from both ankles kept waking me up. Humph!
The sky looked like it had been painted. Bootiful! .
The mudslide at the end of the car park.
Even I got this one. Haha!
What a magnificent view!
The came, and I got up and had a walk about; they lessen when so this.
Three last shots as the sunset fell. Farewell!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Have a grand Day!
