Category: Ode

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Or it might have been Carer Victor or Israel. Erm, if I remember correctly, I’ll reveal it all on Monday.
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It was not an extraordinary sort of day, with a few intermittent happenings that were out of the ordinary. I can’t recall having a single , no, honestly! A carer failed to arrive for the midday checks, which was not all that unexpected; last Monday, a morning medication Carer failed to arrive. The ailments and injuries were, as usual, ever-present.
My , or of course it may have been  , added up to three. This seems to be the agreed count these last few days, with my brain taking over masters in conjunction.
For some unknown reason, the burn on the right hand of the oven rack is taking a while to stop being painful. Constipation Conrad is back in charge of the evacuations. My concentration is no worse than yesterday. Not that that’s saying much. I think Concentration Konrad is now a permanent fixture. He joins the other ailments as a part of the Mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morganas, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind, which is losing its marbles?
It’s a busy week coming up, too. On Tuesday, the J Sainsbury order arrives – a big one, too! On Wednesday, the Pegasus Police form must be filled in and posted back – without any help from Caregiver Kara, who is on holiday for a fortnight. The results could be catastrophic if I get confused and fill it in wrongly, but a man of calibre should be able to cope. When I worked at Tesco, I had six tills to cash up, making sure the money was right, coupons were given and checked, and even the issue of Green Shield stamps had to be checked every day of the week.  
Of course, that was in 1966, a few years ago now. My brain had most of its functions working. All were pre my getting shot (twice), cancer, heart operation, duodenal ulcer operation, Cataract Katie, Glaucoma Gladys, Saccades Sandra, Dementia Doreen, falling in a lake, having the Stroke, getting Peripheral Neuropathy, Cancer of the bladder – Catheter Bag fitted… currently the most painful of the ailments! FND, Diabetes Insipidus, Diabetic Polyneuropathy – leading to Diabetes 2. Going deaf, a failed Cataract operation – currently awaiting a second one, a Glaucoma operation and having a permanent catheter fitted, Cartilage Chloe (left knee), Cartilage Carole (right knee), Onychovryptosis (Ingrowing toenails), None-Epileptic Seizure Disorder Dina, Cognitive Impairment Iris, Vasculitis Vanessa, Dental caries, which in turn assist my given ability for . I wear alert wristbands; if I wore one for each ailment, I’d run out of wrist and arm-room. Hahaha! I’m still searching for an ‘Allergic to Clopidogrel’ wristband. Not that I have room to wear it, Hehe!
They give Clopidogrel to everyone taken in after a stroke. But we didn’t know until it was too late that I was allergic to it. Thus, then I got Peripheral Neuropathy.
But it’s been fun and exciting.  
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I think I saw a speck of blood in the bag this morning when I photo’d it. Likely, it’s just a reflection from the flash, I assumed?
Much drizzle is out there from the balcony’s right window. The usual excellent parking is available from our senior citizens on the yellow chevrons, indicating, do not park here. I’m not jealous that the drivers can still afford to own one. Or that my licence had to be surrendered due to the ailments making me unsafe on the roads. Har, Har! The drugs would still have me nodding off; that’ll most likely be the s. Coming home from work one day from Rempstone, I stopped at some traffic lights in Clifton and dosed off for two hours. I woke up in an ambulance going to the hospital. I felt fine; I just have no memory of what happened. Apparently, other drivers couldn’t wake me up and thought I’d snuffed it and called an ambulance and police.
I decided that at that time, I’d hand in my licence. I realised that I could have killed someone. What if I’d been driving at the time? The RAC returned the car to my garage. I thanked them and cancelled my membership. Within two days, I’d given my beloved vehicle away. At least it helped a mate who was out of work. I never saw him again? 
Boy, I’ve waffled on here! Sorry.
Off to the wet room.
A rare return of .
Almost caught me out! I was expecting a battle with .
After the slushy evacuation, the stomach remained gurgling. I cleaned things up and started shaving.

Partway through doling, I hastily plonked down on the seat again for a repeat performance. Well, not so much, but what exited was even more watery this time. With a tinge of orange in the colour that was not there on the first session on the throne? By the time I finished shaving, washed, and did the medicationings for the delicate areas in need, then got the place cleaned up again, I’d been there for over two hours! It was a more painful-to-pass scenario, but I’d gladly welcome him back.
Pants and slippers on again, I meandered out onto the balcony. The rain was still pouring down.
I took the first two of the snaps. They were not very good, taken through the window glass. 
I hobbled into the kitchenette to do the same through the kitchen glass. All three show how much it was raining, though. We had a fair bit of it yesterday.
 
There followed an almost rapid selection of I caught the hand in the window closing it, right on the burn scar, which naturally made me jump away… ; I knocked the towel roll and holder off of the window ledge. : The stalk broke off from the base. : Bending down to retrieve those as mentioned earlier, I hit my forehead on the edge of the radiator. Turned and dropped the walking stick, which hit the fridge and fell right on my left foot’s ingrowing toenail! Did I swear? Yes! And I did again when I realised I’d sprayed the kitchen cleaner all over the dressing gown when cleaning things up. Humph!

I got out the new vacuum cleaner and hoovered up the mess I’d made when walking to the wet room in the hallway.
I took a snap of the new cleaner to show you the fancy headlights on the machine. Hehehe! The vacuum arrived in eleven pieces in a square box, with miniature writing on the instruction booklet. Luckily for me, Carer Chris came and assembled it within three minutes. Of course, I could have handled doing it quickly; I just wanted the lad Chris to think he’d done something worthwhile.
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The new Catheter Pouch Bag keeps slipping down the leg.
The new Tena Protection Pants keep slipping down.
I also seem to have misplaced my hearing aids. I’ve checked the wet room, kitchen, rubbish tip room, and front room without any success.
To the rescue again. He found the hearing aids within minutes. He’s a very good ferriter. While he was searching, he spotted some biscuits, and he had to have a packet. Hehehe! They had dropped behind the rickety 1962 G-Plan cabinet, and he retrieved them for me. Saved again! 
The evening sky kept changing hue. Well, I thought it did, anyway. Of course, what my eyes see and you may not do…

Or should that be the other way around? You can tell I’m getting tired, can’t you? My thoughts at this moment, remind me of vegetable dumpling stew… mixed, unclear and lumpy.
I took this last, catching the edge of the window frame and the sun on its way home. There’s an elegance to these sunset shots. They’re vivid yet semi-opaque – a bit like the cameraman. Har-Har!

A simple nosh for a simpleton.
Salt & vinegared chips, vegetarian sausages, a soft brown baguette with pickle-flavoured ketchup.
Followed by a pot of mandarins in jelly.
My hunger was pleasantly sated.

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TTFN