Cockamamie Inchy: Wed 18 December 2024


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06:10 hrs: I woke after a better night’s sleep. I had slept for six hours and only woke up a few times—much better. I lay there pondering and making plans for the day.
I wanted to get to the Heron store today. Since the food order is expected very soon, I decided to get up and sort the catheter out, check that the new stove is working, and then do the waste bags—not the ablutions yet. After the food arrives, I can tend to the ablutions. Then, I can update Tuesday’s blog, put on the clothes, and catch a bus down to Sherwood. But, of course, this never happened. This is Inchy talking, after all!

I got the nocturnal catheter bag freed.
What a shade! Blimey!
I titivated the bed and got the trousers out, ready to do battle with later on. (No chance of getting the trousers on or going to the shop, Humph!)
Sorted the waste bags into one bag. I photographed the morning view; I don’t know where it went, but it was not on the SD card?
I tried warming the new mini-oven. To see if it tripped the electrics. It didn’t, but it smoked and set the fire alarm off!
Worried now. I won’t use it!

Carer Shaquille arrived. The medications were sorted. I mentioned that I still had an unreturned laundry bag in the ground-floor laundry room. During Shaq’s call, Anne Gyna kicked off and got worse than yesterday. She’s still with me on and off, at 16:00 hrs.

The Ocado delivery arrived.
I ordered a selection of cream cakes as part of the Christmas treat for the nurses, Carers and staff to have.

Two M&S Eton-Mess cream cakes. Two boxes of their Chocolate Eclairs and iced vanilla cream cakes. There’s another one, cheap iced buns. They were for me. I am a commoner!

Throughout the busy morning, I called the wardens to inform them about the cakes awaiting them in the fridge. I got through 6 hours later to let Warden Julie know. She will come to collect them later. I think they must have been to one of their famous management meetings.

When Carer Kimberly arrived for the financial meet, Arthur Itis had joined Anne Gyna in her attack. Today is not going well, so much for making plans.

I cleared the rubbish from the delivery, returned to the computer, and drifted in an elongated bout of . At the same time, Carer Kimberly was dealing with the bank details, then she contacted the chemist to make sure the prescriptions were coming, they were due tomorrow), and anything else that happened just got mixed in with the other things. I think I asked bout the unreturned bag of washing from the laundry… perhaps. Not in a good state now, especially compared to how things were earlier.

I was anywhere and everywhere, not getting much done. Carer Joanne called, and I was as surprised as she was to find I was in the middle of making some more pickled mushrooms!

I have no idea what I did for about two hours. Maybe nothing, certainly not on the computer, I thought. An hour later, I got a text message telling me the Morrison order was en route.
What Morrison order!
I checked the Amazon site, and sure enough, I had placed an order for delivery this afternoon! Now I am worried! Sure enough, the order was delivered to the door.
Opening the bags to see what the ‘eck I’d ordered was a frustrating adventure.
There was little, if anything, that I wanted or needed to purchase. And my bank balance is the lowest it’s ever been!
Shaving foam; I’ve got two cans in the wetroom! Marmite Cheese, I’ve a whole bag in the fridge. A large jar of green tomato salad; I tried one two weeks ago and threw it away; it tasted horrible! MORE CREAM CAKES! I need help here. No memory whatsoever of ordering these! I must have been deep in a seizure like never before. Yet they were items I’d bought before.
Thank heavens, Carer Kimberley sorted the prescriptions out. That is if they do arrive tomorrow, naturally.

Then things got even worse…
I turned on the new oven to test it at a higher level and went to the 12th-floor community rubbish chute with the bags from the unwanted Morrison order. A chap was in the floor’s lift foyer, and we exchanged hello’s. When I returned from trapping my finger in the chute lid, he asked if he could come into the flat to do the checks they had written me about. 
The Carers open all my mail, except when they were obviously Christmas cards. I’ve likely forgotten about the appointment. We went to the flat. He was checking some electricals, and I went to look at the new oven.
THE
A second after I’d opened the new oven door, masses of clear, hot smoke poured out of it!
I was crestfallen. Will anything ever go right for me?
Stupid Question.
I’ve lost the will to bother.

I thought this morning that I was full of plans. I even got Shaquiille on his visit to take a photo of me holding the new oven-packing foam, intending to think something witty up to try and raise a laugh and share it with you all.
Another failed plan for today.

I haven’t yet performed my ablutions or used the Porcelain Throne, medicated any of the six areas of my rhinoceros-like body that I should do twice daily, had nothing to eat, and didn’t want anything to eat. As I type this, another seizure is detected, and Electric-Shocking-Sherida just gave me one.
Anne Gyna keeps prodding me, Arthur Itis does when I move, stand or bend, and I really must stop moaning.

This is probably the lowest I’ve been all year.
And Wardens Julie & Deana have not collected their fresh-cream cakes yet. They must have been busy and forgot to. I hate throwing away fresh food, but I’ll keep them until I know they are not coming… which I’ll never know. I’m glad Jenny and Frank came for theirs and got the Fresh Eton Cream Mess cakes. Hope they enjoy them.

I can’t make a meal cause I’m too nervous to use the new damned fire-alarm-triggering oven. 
I can’t get the medicationings and ablutions done cause the gals may come for their cream cake treats. And, I’m losing confidence and heart at the same time here” I must stop moaning; it won’t solve or make anything better.
I’ll have to finish the ablutions and medication late tonight or in the morning. As for sleep, I had six good hours last night.
Now, with all the hassle, Anne Gyna, Shocking Sherida and Arthur Itis, showering and medicating will be a battle for me.

Carer Israel came in on the 18:00 call at 16:30. It matters not to me, though. I gave him a Christmas drink, or I will do it when he does the 22:00 call to take home with him. He can have the Warden’s cream cakes if they don’t call for them. I can’t see them still here at this time. You can never tell. Talking to Israel gave me new confidence, and after he left, I had a go at making some oven chips to eat on Milk Roll bread. It’s not the most elaborate meal I’ve made. Oven chips and bread… prisoners get better food.  I observed the oven for 25 minutes as the chips cooked. But there is no smoke or fire alarm this time! Great! I treated myself to some ketchup in a bowl and ate it while writing this. Enough to satiate my hunger.

Now I’m so tired. I’ll go on the WP Reader and comments and await the arrival of ‘Lucky’ Israel to collect his fresh cream cakes. The Wardens did not call. So, I gave the two expensive boxes of cream cakes to Carer Israel when he made his last call. He was tickled pink. 
Best not to waste them.

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WORRADAY!
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Keep Warm, Safe, sane and Happy!
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Scratchy Inchy: Sunday 8th December 2024

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At the bayou, having mayhap a barbecue,
Or you may be out hunting deer or caribou?
Answering the taxman’s letter at your bureau,
On the Porcelain Throne, using the tissue?
With your beloved, about to bill and coo, 
Or just thinking, what’s the world coming to?
At the bar, having your 13th drinkypoo?
Watching a movie, The Battle of Waterloo?
Eating your takeaway curry with aloo?
Enroute to hospital after a blanscue?
Practicing fencing or jujitsu?
Just back from holidaying in Limpopo?
You could be shopping, waiting in a queue?
At the Zoo, looking at a sucuruju?
At a show, Hard Rock or burlesque?
Sorting out a medical snafu?
The 4-minute warning sounds… Woo-Woo-Woo!

What do you do? – Cause it’s due!
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Māori: A hill in Porangahau, New Zealand.
Name In English; ‘Music playing at the same time’.
The longest place name in the world.
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I woke around 03:00hrs, fell asleep and shot awake again at around 06:00hrs. I detached the nocturnal pouch from the catheter day pouch. I emptied and wrapped the pouch up for disposal.
When I made these, I found I had an intense thirst. So, I made some bottles of spring water and flavoured them: orange and pineapple in different measures for the small bottles and lime juice for the larger ones.
When starting to sort the waste bags, I  needed the Porcelain Throne. I grabbed and we poddled off to the wet room.
Constipation Conrad was still in charge, but I felt less pain & it bled less. The two- and three-toned colours had gone. This visit, it was back to a light Kharki.

I washed as I insist on this thrice a week, even if not needed. Hehe! I put the compiled bag near the front door. And back to the blog.

I took this shot of the view from the kitchenette window when I went to check that I’d not left the hot water tap running. It doesn’t show, but it was raining. I returned to the computer and took a snap of the ancient clock diary thingamabob. It showed 0623hrs as the time. So, I misread read it earlier?

I struggled with the things I had got wrong and changed yesterday. Some of the corrections were wrong as well. So I had a go at sorting my own made mess. arrived, so I immediately knew I would be in a quagmire when I returned to the sorting after Shaquille had gone. I’d had a sort of pre-warning that depression & irritability were imminent for me to suffer. It was right, too!

Shaq was his usual calm, laid-back self. A nice lad. He got the medications sorted and issued. He put my diabetic socks on for me. It is much appreciated; it is blooming cold today. The lad left, and I returned to computer cock-up sorting…

I got into a chronological turmoil that left me just hoping things would come out right. I was lost, really. I had photos and graphics spread over three days of templates.
I thought at least three times that I’d got it right. But, No! I think I was more confused than when I first discovered them on yesterday’s blog. !
I gave up and hoped for the best. Which was good timing cause kicked off. Things would have been impossible to sort out if she had been in action during my rescue efforts for the blog. Not that I think they have been sorted. Maybe they have been made less noticeable, conceivably. Whichever and whatever, I started to update the Saturday blog at long last. Hello, I wondered what that noise was. The rain and wind are coming again, but it’s gone dark! I’ll try to take a photo of the rain coming into the balcony.

I went through the doors into the balcony, and the rainwater came above the boardwalk planks, and I now have two more wet socks, slippers and feet!
Double Humph!
I took a shot from the end window as I got soaked. I must say that the weather looked horrible out there.
The mudslide appeared to be mammoth-sized. The wind howled, and rain poured as if thrown at us by the Gods above! As the stagnant-standing rain reached my left slipper toes. I got back into the flat post-haste.

arrived to do the afternoon visit. She looked at the blog and laughed at my writings about the terrible day that I was having. Hehehe! Not really, she laughed with me, not at me ♥.

I continued to get the blogging/correcting advance. It took me hours to get Saturday’s blog titivated enough to post it off.

I gave up on the computer and got a meal sorted. Early to bed for me, the plan was to eat, then sleep – needed desperately. I think that I ought to have enjoyed this meal. But didn’t. I threw most of it away. I believe this is due to a sleep-stopping bug I must have caught. 
As for the rest of the day, your guess is as good as mine up to about 21:30hrs. I was feeling suddenly shattered. I realised in the morning that I had been working on Sunday’s blog and had gotten a lot done. Made a mess of most of it, thanks to the weariness and multiple and persistent .
 Carer Ali answered the teatime call and asked if I wanted him to call the doctor. The doctor? On a Sunday evening? It was nice of him to ask and recognise my state. Looking back, I recall struggling to find the words as we spoke. Sheer fatigue, and I’d done very little physical activity all day? All I wanted to do was sleep. Huh! After he’d gone, I lay precisely where I was on the £300, second-hand, musty, Haemorrhoid Harold Testing, cringingly beige, crumb-covered, not-working, rickety recliner. Carer Richard arrived as I was nearly nodding off. I chirped up a little after getting up and stubbing my toe. I was, I think, communicating better.
Within a few minutes, my tiredness returned, and I was back in the recliner. I c
ouldn’t get to sleep in the recliner, so I moved into the hospital bed. Then things got worse,  , and joined in, assisted with the odd sharp  interludes; this assured that it was another night of No-Sleep.
It was horrible, and I didn’t feel all that good on Monday morning (Now).
Poor old sausage.
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TTFNski
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Inchy: Wednesday 30th October 2024

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I don’t want anyone to think I’m jealous of their wealth & power. Or that could gladly assassinate the pensioner-killer Starmer for his heartless crippling and murdering pensioners by taking away their winter fuel allowance. Or his lying by omission to get elected. Or, his taking back-handers worth hundreds of thousands of pounds. His bland, conceited, self-wealth improving, voter-contempt, but I am.
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After yet another night of jumping awake, at 05:00, I gave up trying for the elusive sleep, and I gingerly removed the nocturnal catheter pouch, grabbed a hold of and off to the kitchen for safety checks and got the kettle on. The taps, cooker and fridge looked okay, and I had what must have been one of the longest-ever bubbly-sounding passings of wind that I can ever remember. It was pongy and two-tone at times! I diverted to the wet room without any delay.
I got seated, but nothing more than wind came out for ages. Once the motion began, I thought that would never end!
It was like wet mud to look at in the bowl. This time, it was three-coloured: black spots with light and dark brown.

Cleaning it up took me years. I managed to knock over, and he fell against the floor cabinet. I then had one less bottle of the Glaucoma Latanoprost eye drops; the cap shot off.

MAYHEM – POWER CUTS
At this stage of writing this, I had a power cut! I lost all my notes and reminders, but I did get some photos, and such mayhem and panic have not hit me so badly in ages.
I was stuck in total darkness; it was late evening then.
The notes from earlier in the day were found, but not the late ones that were on Word, which got lost in a total of four Poer-Cuts suffered over a three-hour period.
Obviously, I could not do any blogging or emailing anything on the computer until Thursday morning. (Now)

POWER-CUT DISASTER STORIES
1️⃣ I was cooking the meal. Sudden darkness, absolute darkness. Panic gripped me. I searched for the mobile and wind-up torch. At that time, I could not find the torch. So, had to use the light of the mobile to get around. My intention was to make sure the cooker had been turned off. Then I realised that things were worse than I thought. The battery on the mobile was weakening, and I needed it to call for help because the Alarm Alert line & landlines were not working. I rang the preciously kind Jenny to ask for advice on getting help. I didn’t know the numbers to ring. Jenny, being Jenny, bless her, said she would come up to have a look. She’d just got out of the shower. I felt embarrassed. 

2️⃣ Jenny came in; I didn’t hear her, and she did something on the power box, and the power came back on. I told her what I was doing, and she spoke with someone on the back-on-line emergency alert line again. She turned off the cooker at the box. Told me not to use it until it’s been checked over. She
said, ‘I’m was to ring her in ten minutes to update her on the situation’. I’d be lost without Jenny. 

3️⃣ Ten minutes later, the power went off again. This time, I was again in the kitchen, and as it was dark, I turned to get the stick, tripped on something, and fell, hitting my face on the radiator. Jenny returned again. She reset the power and asked if I’d used the cooker, which I hadn’t. The power was now restored by Jenny, and the telephones & alarm came back on. Jenny spoke with them again. Jenny reminded me not to use the cooker, but I could use the microwave. 

4️⃣ I started to sort out a different meal that could be cooked in the microwave, and the Power died again! Jenny came to the rescue once more! She restored the power supply yet again and told me she would report things to the authorities for me in the morning. If it does go off again, I was to ring her. Reminding me not to use the kettle or cooker.

Thankfully, the power stayed on, and I finished the oddly cooked beef in black bean sauce. Cleaned up the kitchen and settled to eat the meal, watching ‘Heartbeat’ on the TV. Thinking about how things would have gone without Jenny’s help. Precious, inestimable, & helpful. ♥

The following may be out of order, with part of the reminders lost in the power cuts, but these things did occur. I think.

Carers Shaquille, Israel & Kimberly called. Kimberly helped me get an appointment with the doctor and the Chemist for the flu jab sorted for me. Flu Tuesday 5th Nov, and the RSC at the surgery Monday 11th Nov, in Carrington.

Yesterday, during the power failures, I lost every photograph I had previously taken and saved to file. Arghh!


Shortest blog ever on file!
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THE STATE OF INCHY

And also, I can’t use my cooker or kettle,
I still can’t manually pittle,
Electric shocks up my leg, still tingle,
The catheter tube is so painful!
My lack of sleep is diabolical,
My memory gets more fragmental,
Waiting for Glaucoma lasering at the Hospital,
Life is no longer worth being experimental,
The hot tap runs at barely a trickle,
Plans, wants & needs are theoretical,
Thoughts, hopes are unphilosophical,
Like this ode, there are unpoetical,
I’m verging on becoming pathetical,
My dreams are all sarcophagal,
Getting on my rear-end a carbuncle!
My concentration, once congenital,
It is now non-existent, gone, choplogical,
Depressions, fears, worries, self-inimical,
Mentally, life is a scramble, a scrattle…
With myself, every day, I battle,
I once socialised, now I feel extrinsical.
Life’s become eristical & demagogical!
Now, with cock-up, & outages electrical,
No kettle or stove, it ruins things gastronomical,
I need someone clever, kind, & intellectual…
A Doctor who deals with things lunatical?
To read this Poesy or Limerick,
About me being physically & mentally sick,
Use their skills of the neuropsychologic,
They may advise summat neuroradiologic?
Issue medications that may do the trick,
With mayhap periwinkle & phenobarbital,
Or operate on my sincipital?
If it was all a film, it would be tragicomical,
But, primarily pointless and illogical!.
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TTFNski!

Incontinent Inchy: Monday 22nd July 2024

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Doesn’t yer know that today started so well that I was questioning my own insanity? What a start to this prospectively enlightening, trouble-free, and confidence-returning day! Then I climbed out of the hospital-provided bed, caught the catheter pouch tube against the metal anti-fall bars, and without any hassle or leaks occurring! Fan-bloody-tastic!
The colour of the urine was classified by Carer Richard later, as a seven on the NHS rating colour card. That was a bit of a downer for me. Yet, I found myself whistling, well, I say whistling. I was trying to whistle; it was not easy with me losing another half-tooth to the land of rot and yesterday. Still, I laughed it off; even when Little Inchy’s fungal lesion started to bleed, I kept up my pecker… Honestly!

I’m off to visit the Porcelain Throne and have a stand-up wash and shave. I must remember to ask Warden Deana about getting the shower head mended. Having failed on the Porcelain, I started to have a shave, and I gave myself a little cut.
I put the Kodak Tim in my gown pocket and tried to take a selfie shot of how little the nick was.
The steam from the water blurred it. Shame! That double chin was embarrassing as well!
I then put on the Protection Pants in record time with far less hassle and pain than I usually do. By gum, today is going so well!
Feeling a little perky, I turned to leave the wet room and involuntary shoulder-charged the edge of the door! The response was a bit of bad language and a dip in perkiness!

I took a photo of the morning view from the kitchenette window and put the kettle on to make a brew of Thompson’s Punjana tea.
Then, I emptied all of the waste bins into one and placed it near the door for the Carer to pick up for me.
As I turned to hobble back to the kitchen to make my tea, guess what?  I against the towel dryer. Now, I was beginning to feel a little riled, ruffled, ratty, almost to the point of getting hacked off.

Carer Richard arrived, and I forgot to ask him yp put my diabetic socks on. Thus, I’ve been having activities from the vicious ‘s via  .
I wish someone could tell me why, although I expect I may know. It’s with. Of course, I could well be wrong about that. You know, I’m becoming something of an expert in getting things wrong these last few years. No effort on my behalf is needed. 
I was well behind on getting this blog started. So I knuckled down while I knew there were no carers to call and did a pretty lousy job on CorelDraw, and then WordPress kept changing the font on its own accord. I spent about two hours trying to find a cure. I did some risky, easy-to-forget and lose where I was amended in the Settings and Appearance options. But although it accepted my different font in the editing sections, it did not change them on the blog editor. Sometimes, it would be on the Preview. Back to the editor and the old font was back.
Nearing losing my marbles with the frustration, I thought I’d try a different font… and the door chime rang out.
! It was a man and woman (Amelia) from Specsavers checking the eyes. It was, I suppose, perfectly understandable that I forgot they were coming.

Between , supported by   it’s no surprise. They came in, barely hiding their disgust at the state of the room with the bed in it. Their superiority oozed from them as they went through the selling parts of their mission. Q & A’s. Sense of humourless. Prospective future Oligarchs, I think. Anyway, it seems I am cataract-free in both eyes. They think it must be the Glaucoma that’s causing the problems.

Arrived, full of beans. Gave her some nibbles and a drinkie for her kids. No medications were needed; I was too confused to take any after the WordPressing farce. Which is what I returned to after she rushed off on her duties.
It took another four hours of fighting to get the font I wanted to work on. I failed. Now I can’t remember what I’d done to try and get it accepted in the first place. Had enough of this.  Frustration Frank visited.

Now, the persistent painful got as bad and persistent as she’s ever been. Carer Chris came, and I’m blown if I can recall much of the visit. I certainly didn’t make any notes on the pad, which indicates to me, that I possibly had some or most likely a or two.

Tired out now, but still messing about trying to sort out the changing font issue. Sod it, I made a brew of Glengettie tea and enjoyed it. Oh, I’ve just realised I’ve not had a Porcelain Evacuation all day!

If a need for food develops, then I might have an evacuation. I have more eyes and shoots to remove from the potatoes before putting them in the oven.
I took these pictures on the left earlier and forgot about them; it could happen to anyone, I say.

But the odds are it’ll be me!

Gorgeous clouds.

Then, I had another go at this blog. I’m not certain what’s happened or happening now.
But I was brought back to reality a smidge when the bloody, costly WordPress package started changing the font again. The obvious reason for this? Me! I doubt I am capable any more!
Amazingly, I grafted away without struggling to see as bad as I usually do in the evenings. I spent hours, most of the time, changing the font back and making errors. Eventually, I gave up. I had to. It’s now 01:45 in the morning.  I’m drained and tired out, and I just smelt the burning potatoes in the oven! Another oven tray to throw away. More potatoes to de-scab and cook again. Which I did, smilingly, happily, contentedly… I speak LYINGLY Hehehe!
I did take these final photos. I hope to stay awake long enough to snap a photo of the potato meal. That is if I don’t get a  or fall asleep and burn these potatoes. I do live well! 

I forgot, Warden Deana called with my change for the foot lady and told me that poor Josie was not the woman we all know in the home she went to after her fall.

Back in the morning… well, it’s morning already, innit.
I made a meal for the third time, and I got to eat instead of burn it.
Nothing fancy, but I was hungry, so I enjoyed it.
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Cheers!

Incontinent Inchy: Monday 15th July 2024

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– – – Steady Down Inchy! – – –
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04:25hrs: I begrudgingly heaved and hauled my overweight, blubbery body from the bed. I even thought of getting back in it as Cartilages Carole & Chloe kicked off the moment I put my colossal weight on the knees. 
I bent to release the nocturnal catheter pouch. The bag was a  little fuller this morning, considering I’d only been in bed for about four hours. Yesterday’s not being a happy laddie lingering into today. There I was, sitting on the Throne, having a go at the crossword puzzle book, just seeing if I get some answers to the many not-finished ones over the months. I 
counted the cracks I could see on the ceiling. It amazes me how I seem to get a different number each time. And I suppose. 23 today.  The first long, deep brown torpedo escaped painfully, followed immediately by splatterings from . The end loose evacuated product was once again of a Kharki hue, small and wet but lumpy. Well, it made a change for me. Haha! 
The were tackled next. Starting with the hurtful, bleeding-again teggies. Then, the extremities needed cleaning in preparation for the medicationings. These were done before the shaving this morning. Another first for me is that I’ve always done the shaving first, but not today. I’ve no idea why. One good thing about having the diabetic socks and the compression bandaging on both legs is that I can’t clean them, so one job is saved. Also, I do not need to medicate the leg ulcers or ingrowing toenails.
Were Germoloided once things had dried from the washing of the bottie. I found that I’d run out of the anti-fungal cream for Little Inchies cream. So I tried some Germolene to see if that eased it a bit.
It didn’t help, but it didn’t make things any worse, either. 
I got the Derma cream under the arms, man breasts and forehead, which was silly because I’d not done the shaving yet. Tsk!
Then moved on and gave a good rubbing in of the Phorpain gel to both knees. To ease the pain from , and . Next, I got the olive oiling done down both earholes. Had a bit of an then. I dropped the dropper bottle and lost even more time cleaning the mess I made up. But worse, all the bending to retrieve the olive oil from the mat and floor, set the Cartilage gals, Arthur Itis and off. I then performed a short but natty, nasty version of a , which made me wobble and joined the list of injuries. And I hadn’t even tackled the dangerous parts of shaving and getting dressed yet!
Still, being of excellent pain tolerance, a twerp, and so brave with it, it didn’t worry in the least, not one bit! But I assume you already knew that?
Then , the costly Cataract Blepharitis application process had to be done. The spray is no bother, but the drops I just can’t hold my hands steady enough to get it in right. Doing the pads is okay. Then, I waited for the regulation for 5 minutes and wiped it all off again from the eyelids. I would estimate the cost of liquid I missed the eye with that ran down into my mouth and onto my testicles from my chin, not to mention poor Little Inchie; it must have been about £10 worth every day I do this.  
Now, the shaving needs to be done. I wondered how long I’d already spent doing the ablutions. I reckon I was already over two hours and still had to shave and dress.
The shaving was cutless! Yes! But getting the PPs on more than made up for my good luck with the shaving. 
With either knee being liable to give way, my left leg is so painful to lift up. 
Always a risk and or possibility.
On routine, I set about the tried, tested, but often failing ‘get-the-pants’. I wedged my rear end against the sink, with at hand, and of course,
the small Plastic Pickerupper Paul. I was gobsmacked at how easily I got my right foot in the pants. Might not be so bad, I thought to myself… What a plonker!
I all but went over when I first tried to lift the left leg up high enough to get the foot in the pants. On about my third attempt, I was getting frustrated, to say the least. Not necessarily because I couldn’t get the foot in; this is a regular problem, but with the pain I was going through trying to! 
I tried one last time and was prepared that the pants would stay off if this did not work! Which, of course, is not on if Little  Inchies fungal Lesion bleeds, as it often does, hence the PPs in the first place; it could be bloody and embarrassing if a Carer or nurse was here when it flowed down my legs, over the catheter bag and pouch, onto my foot and then the carpet! 
There’s no other word for this; Lifting the leg with one hand holding the sink and the other with a picker-upperer and the walking stick was bloody painful! One final effort, a grimace, a few curses and both legs were in!
I was shattered! Aching all over. I felt like I’d been up for hours; in reality, it was about three hours of angst and pain, but at last, it was all over… until the morning, it’ll start over again!
Painkillers and some anti diarrhoea capsules were taken!
I actually chirped up a little later, Yes! Then again, I usually do if get on the computer, and even more so when the eyes are as clear as they can be, and I can see the keyboard and the letters. But at the back of my demented brain, I know that come midday, the double vision will return. (It did)  

Carer Richard arrived minutes after I turned on the computer. I patiently waited for CorelDraw to load up —no, that’s another fib. Richard got the medications sorted out, but I forgot to ask him to take of the diabetic sock, so it will have to stay on until tonight when a Carer can take it off if I remember to ask him or her. I bet it reeks a bit! 
I put the kettle on and sorted the waste bags into one. I left it near the door.
I returned to the computer and steadily progressed with the extra blog of old cartoons blog. Then, a sudden… well, fear came over me. Had I left the hot water tap running again? I hobbled hastily to check.
All was okay. After yesterday’s farcical, imbecilic three times of letting the tap run cold, my confidence was at a low ebb. I checked several times today, but up until now, I have not left the hot water tap (faucet) running. At least today, I got a wash and shave with hot water available. Despite spending nearly four hours in the wet room in agony, at least  I got the cleaning and medicating done. 
I had a mammoth, or maybe it was one of   . Or perhaps I fell asleep on the computer? Up to now, I’ve only had two ! 

The sun did its best to get through today, but it couldn’t do it just like yesterday.
I took this shot through the kitchenette windows.
I made a brew of Thompson’s Punjana tea. I never got around to making one earlier.
I took the brew to my beloved but poorly computer and digested some of my favourite biscuits via a good dunking. Haha!
I like Yeo Valley organic milk and have tried it a few times. As instructed by the Doctor, I’m keeping within her demands that I have only two mugs of tea a day.

Arrived. A nice young gal. Showed concern at my wobbly walking. I explained the ablution episode and showed her a photo of yesterday’s burnt meal and saucepan. She did laugh!
I found some potatoes in the only saucepan I had left. Humph! They were well seasoned with sea salt, pungent soy sauce and a drop of vinegar to eat later.

Great balls of fire!
The bag tore off of the catheter pouch; it was so full!!! It had filled up so quickly.
It’s a darned good job that Carer Kara keeps a supply in stock for me.

Now I’ll have to pack up on the blogging. My vision is getting much worse.
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Back to finish off in the morning – I hope!

I’m back…
Carer Chris arrived. Tucked into the nibbles and drinkies, but he was in a rush, poor lad.
He turned down the heat on the oven. And I watched part of one episode of the old Heartbeat on the resistance to making a link, unwanted and needed, overpriced Virgin Media fibre TV.

I had a pastie, potatoes, and sliced fresh tomatoes for my meal of the day. 
Followed by a naughty but nice Lemon and cream Bliss.

I took this late shot while washing the pots and settled to get some sleep. It took me hours to nod off, yet my body and mind were worn out.

Tired? Me? YES!

TTFN each. 🤔 
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Incaged Inchy: Wed 3 July 2024 Oddly busy day

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I considered sending this code below to the Tate Gallery or the Retired Gaslamp Street-Lighters & Snuffers Association Nursery. The  Poets Association at Oil Drum Lane in Bradford. I think it may make me famous as an Odeist? Maybe to the Times, Guardian or the Sun sign me up for a weekly ode column? Hehehe! 
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0410hrs: I got up early because I couldn’t sleep. Well, I did, for , and even were taking turns in taking me up. So I got up. Grumblingly! But the last three days have taught me something. Well, a few things. ) 1) My eyes are not so bad in the morning but slowly worsen as the day develops. 2) I have to get up early to complete the ablutions, and I struggle with the evacuation. 3) To get my balance exercises done. 4) I seem to get most of the worrying s in the afternoons. And number 5) For the last two days, I’ve developed a new brand of episodes, especially today. Dennis used to affect me all over, including prompting … this version, affects only the top of my head, which is puzzling me. It came on at least a dozen times today, but they are always in the morning?  Was here when I had three of them! , one, she said I went white for a moment or two. They have not been lasting long, though. Haven’t come up with a name for them yet, but I will do.
Luckily, I got up early because I was not much use by the afternoon. I ended up getting into bed again, but no sooner had I nodded off I was woken up again as arrived. A nice lad. I finished the introductory graphics as soon as I finished doing the ablutions. I took some photos but not many; everything was taking too long with the eyes worsening. The were doing a good job. Naturally, joined in the pain-giving.
I’m waffling again…

Lovely light colour this morning.
Wet room duties.
I’ve misplaced the underarm ointment the doctor gave me.
The Hi-Pressure Compression padding is holding up well.
After tooth cleaning (I spent more time trying to find the few I have left than cleaning them, Haha!), washing & shaving. Could I find the alert wristbands and panic alarm I’d taken off an hour and a half earlier when I entered the wet room? No! Well, not until I gave up searching and saw that I’d hung them over the handle of
I did feel like a proper fool!

I got on the computer after taking the above snap… I can’t remember why I took it, or even taking it, but it was on the SD card when I got to putting them on the computer.

Carer Kara arrived and looked after me kindly and efficiently. She got one diabetic sock on my left leg, and the right leg did not need a sock, as it had Heavy Compression Bandaging.
Medications were given, and she said she’d be back later. ♥

My eyes worsened when Carer Kim ♥ arrived to do a domestic stint. She mopped the kitchen wet room and hoovered around for me.

I’d finished the top graphics, and Carer Kara returned to do the financial business. She is good at it. I had no idea what was going on as she checked the emails and letter from the bank. She’s like lighting, and with my eyes failing, I could not follow her. She told me nothing to worry about. Then she went to the bank site to check things on that. The same result, bless her. 
She checked the catheter bag for me.

I made a small meal.

Belatedly, I sorted the waste bags

Then I had to stop on the computer. My eyes were bad, and a tiredness of almost viciousness forced me onto the bed. But sleep was denied yet again. The dressing gown was delivered.
As I was climbing into the bed, arrived. He issued the medications, and I let him pick some nibbles and drinkie of his choice. I put on the new lightweight dressing gown. I posed, asking Israel to take a photo of his overweight, bald, apparently one-legged, deaf, vision suffering, rotten teethed, Colin Cramp-Ridden, Vascular Dementia suffering, Cartilage pained, deaf, Reflux Rogered, Duodenal Donald Ulcered, Bleeding Haemorrhoided, Fungal Lesion Bleeding, coping with Cognitive Impairment Iris, client, with his Boil-on-bum, to take a photo. Which the lad did for me. I took a snap of him with his permission. A nice, friendly bloke.

Took a photo of the rain.

I got back on this blog, but not for long. There were mistake after error, and my eyes were not good.
Back to bed, I thought…
I stopped to take this shot of the night sky first.

How beautiful it was!

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TTFN

Inactivity Inchy: Thursday 16th May 2024

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A comforting thought, with me awaiting a 2nd Cataract and a Glaucoma operation. Cartilage procedures on both knees. DVT operations and a possible, I hope, permanent Catheter being fitted. Still, I may be arguing with St Peter before they get around to doing me. Hehe!

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A baffling wave of mysterious (to me) messages since the update came in. CorelDraws unfathomable changes made in the new CorelDraw 2024. Peripheral Pete’s Neurotransmitters made it beyond my limitations to use the colour swatches, so I had a mammoth job having to make them larger, and now I have a much smaller working area for creating things. No choice, though, had to be done, or I’d have had to stop doing my blog. The grip on the mouse is precarious and oh, so shaky. The PN’s lack of sensation when typing, is really hauling me! 
You wouldn’t believe how frustrating this all is. However, that’s how it is. Nothing can be done about Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters dying. It can only get worse. I’ll keep going to satisfy my swarm of followers as long as I can, but the content is taking me so long that I’m not getting anything else done. I hope they both understand. Hehe!
Norton is confused about my losing the password. Amazon’s delivery of a cheap camera was delayed. Until then, I’ll use the Kodak Tim Camera with its blotches.
Cartilages Chloe and Carole have given way today. I only went down once, though. Chloe gave way as I was getting fresh PPs on in the wet room. Naturally, I fell on Chloe’s knee, which didn’t help much. I also hit my nose on the grab bar on the way down. Just an ordinary day, really.
Carer’s Christopher, Kara and Kimberley attended.
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Way too dark!

Murky morning view.

The first picture came out wrong?

Same view later on, misty still.
A two-tea-bag brew of Glengettie.
Accidentally!

JS order.

Some good grub here!
Fridge full!

I spent so much time getting confused by WordPress and CorelDraw changes, but I did take some photos of the now persistent rain falling, throughout the day.
Took a Kodak Tim to snap through the window, on the balcony, of course, of the end car park and the mudslide.
Several shots from the kitchen window and the balcony through the afternoon.
I had to keep taking breaks from blogging as the problems were getting to me. I hate it when I can’t type or manipulate the mouse well, but as the nurse said to me, I will have to get used to it now.
The rain just kept coming. Not too heavily, but I did note that a resident and ambulance transport crew got wet as they returned from the hospital, poor things.

Have I made a cock-up, and put the same picture as the top one of the car park on here for you again? Sorry! Ah, no. I see now an extra car, and the mudslide seems a little more widespread. I wonder if, eventually, all that sinking rainwater going underground may loosen the flats’ foundations.

I found them, but it took a little longer.
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TTFN.

Inchie: Monday 22nd May 2023

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SMUG-MODE Adopted
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WORD OF THE DAY: EPIPHENOMENALISM

I woke up at 05:10hrs, and I had a muse over what day it was, and I swiftly fell asleep again. Stirred again at 06:15hrs. Passed a lot of wind and coughed a little.
Then set about getting the night pouch off from the firm grip of . Carer Richard told me later it was Grade seven on the NHS Urine colour docket. A bit dark? I’ll try to drink more water today.

The innards demanded that I attend the immediately. So I did. Much less messy this morning. It seems that had made a counter-attack for command of this evacuation. I lot of effort was needed from me to get things started and moving. Painful and bloody for .
Far easy to clean up after the motion this time.
Cleaned the backside and ointmentated the rear end with Germoloids.
I found the missing toothbrush after several days of searching. It had fallen or been dropped, of course; out of sight and landed on the cleaning cloth that was a similar colour. I wouldn’t have found it but for a slight (Hard to believe, I know!) I dropped the Dettol bottle, bent to retrieve it and hit my shoulder against the sink; that’s when I saw it. I took no chances and used the little picker upperer to get it.
I cleaned my teeth, scarce and rotten as they are, for the first time in several days.
It was a bloody affair. What with and now losing blood, I must try to be careful. I just hope that doesn’t join in with them. Then, I did mayhap the riskiest job of every morning; getting the PPs on. Which is always a painful task and often one with tendencies and risks. But not this morning; the pain was there, of course – but no injuries! And not only, but also, I used the cheaper grey ones, which tend to split or tear occasionally, but again; Not this morning!

The sweat rash was less irritating as well this morning.
And far less coloured.
I still put some of the Savlon antiseptic creams under both armpits, though.

Even more good luck here; The feet, ankles, ulcers, and water papules were all looking good.
With my legs less swollen than for months?
.

Even filling the bowls of water from the kitchen to The not-working or refilling W.C. water tank, didn’t bother poor old so much as it usually does. Mind you, knocking the shoulder against the sink earlier, did set off , and so I was as careful as I was possible not to spill any water or drop a bucket, and I went in slow-motion, almost shuffling my feet flat on the floor, slowly along. But Shirley was only giving micro shakes at this time. How kind of her! Checked the taps were off, and off to the kitchen to get the kettle on and took this photographicalisation of the view.

I took a snap of the being-done-up house near the bottom field.
Saw some action today.
I thought I saw a worker on the top outer scaffold.
Got the kettle on and off to the computer to update yesterday’s blog. Which didn’t turn out as planned.
I couldn’t find the notepad I’d used?
Still, I did find the toothbrush!.
Got the blog done and posted of to WordPress.

Sounded from the door chime, and in came my treasured INR,  Anticoagulation, DVT Deep Vein Thrombosis, Warfarin phlebotomy Nurse Hristina. To take my blood.  That cheered me up! ♥ Lovely lady.

I had some brekkers.
A mug of tea and a tub of pot noodles. I added some veg stockpot seasoning and a splash of BBQ sauce.
Very nice it was too!. Even if I had made it thicker than I planned to
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Carer Jo-Anne called. She kindly rang about the red marks under my arms for me. I rang Easy-Link but could not understand/hear the lady about the lift for the Coppice Hospital. Jo-Anne told me it was on, and I need to pay on the day.

Later the Surgery rang me. Again I was struggling to hear her, but I think she was telling me that I had not got an appointment with the doctor tomorrow. She did say ‘Don’t worry’. So I’ll try not to.
I’ve got more chance of Diana Dors coming back to life and asking me for sex!

17:50hrs: So light out there.
This changing of the clocks has always had me confused, but it seems worse than ever nowadays.
I really thought it was about 13:00hrs.
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I’ll make a start on getting the meal prepped. After much musing and ponderisationing, I decided on a can of garden peas, chips and bread & butter.

I may return later (but doubt it), likely in the morning.

Well, what a farcical time I had. It’s afternoon now!
Complete Mind-Blanks (Apart from the delicious nosh) for the night.

This morning, with getting ready for upcoming the visit, and calls from Sister Jane, Carers extra calls with the medications (Fetched my Carer Richard for me, a grand chap.

EasyLink transport to arrange. INR result waiting. Never mind, I’ll try to get it on today’s blog. But it is now nearly tea time, and I have not even got this one finished yet. Think I’m a bit tense over my owing money to EasyLink, and the upcoming brain analysis thingamabob.

Oh, the lovely veggie meal last night, as I suddenly recalled. But as is the way with the Mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morganas, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind? It was thickly buttered sarnies – Really thick! Extra thick! Using the Vegan Not Butter. I had chips, peas and beetroot with them, Marvellous Tasting!. I took two photographs, and neither of them came up on the SD card this morning! Grumph!

TTFN

Inchie: Monday 24th April 2023

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I could tell yers most of it in this paragraph.
Talk about relaxed and out-of-it!
Nothing hassled me, and there was plenty of
reasons to get upset.
I’ll use the few photos I took.
Cheers from him, who’s lost it!

First photo after the calamity of carrying the water from the kitchenette to refill the still unmended, non-working W.C. tank.
Lost balance and dropped the bucket.
Got the shave and washing done and really worked hard to get the P.P.s on. A minor Accifauxpas hit my back on the door when I toppled precariously but did not go down. Naturally, this kicked off BPB Back-Pain-Brenda. Been nibbling painkillers throughout the day, yet it didn’t phase me, and I kept calm?

Cleaned up the mess from the bucket fiasco… well, the water, W.C. and checked the taps were off!

Took another shot from the same place.

I got deep into concentrating on the blog work.
The Carer arrived, & did the medicationalisticalisationing.

♥ Heavenly Delight! ♥
Then, I do like this title; The QMC Haematology, Anticoagulation, Deep Vein Thrombosis, Warfarin nurse called to take my blood sample to check the INR level. Sweet Hristina

My Pareidoliaing came to the fore when I looked at yesterday’s photo above. Danged if I can see it now, but I saw a pig’s face and snout in the photo. This encouraged me to make this graphic. Blown if I can see it now… but it’s well late in the day before I got to doing this blog, and my eyes are always worserer when I get tired.

Afternoon shot, taken when I went to the kitchen to make my first mug of Glengettie tea. (I said I was feeling odd, didn’t I?).
I left it on the side near the kettle, and I heard the phone going off. Hobbled to get it answered before whoever it was, rang off.

It was the lady from the QMC Haematology, Anticoagulation, Deep Vein Thrombosis, and Warfarin Clinic. She reminded me that I have missed the last four appointments with my Doctors to give my blood sample. I calmly stated: I’ve had all your letters telling me, and the Carer rang the Doctors for me, who said there were no appointments made at all. She asked about my eating and, what the Carers do for me, how do they give the medications. In my hand in a tub. Do they always give you the correct medications? No idea; I usually just take them and swallow them. I trust them. Adding: That’s because when I took them myself, I was getting them wrong. That’s why the carers started coming. When I mentioned to her that the haematology nurse came this morning, she was not aware of this. I can’t remember the other questions, but there were plenty of them.

I had to visit the Porcelain Throne for the third time, which of course, entailed the struggle with the buckets of water to refill the not-working W.C. tank. BPB was already bad but got worse!

I added some more Paracetamol to my order for tomorrow, with a packet of Nuro… whatever they are called, to the order.

Took a photo of the early evening view.
Noticing that a local house was having an extension built.
I am a nosy devil! Hehehe!

Care Jodie arrived. Got the evening medications sorted for me. We had a mini-gossip and a laugh.

The leg was itching underneath the day pouch.
The weeing got more frequent suddenly.

Evening shot.
Pareidoliaing opportunity here?

Carer arrived. I got on the computer after the gal
went off on her rounds, I fetched another bottle of
spring water, and took this shot above.

Well, I must get something to eat.
Back in the morning… well…

Tuesday Morning 0650hrs Catch-up…

So, tired, and the return of a was coming on. After two days of hairy-fairyness and feeling out of it, this came almost as a shock to me. The depths of misery flooded my every essence, and I genuinely feared for my sanity – I wasn’t coping well at all with this bout of sudden despondency.
Yet as I had two, almost at the same time, this seemed to bring me back to
normalcy… well, as close as I’ll ever get to it, anyway, with my mind withering with being eaten and tormented by accompanied by the day-long pains from . (Nearly lost the plot there with waffling).

An erupted as I was washing the pots. I made a grab for Metal-Mickey, knocked my knee against the cabinet, and toppled a dish from the draining board; that hit the , catching and knocking the release valve on its way down to smash, seemingly at the time, into a million pieces, as I wee’d down my leg onto the kitchenette floor, and into my slipper! I cursed and swore proliferously as my first reaction to the . Initially, my language and responses were getting increasingly more volatile.
❶ I closed the catheter pouch valve first actioning.
❷ Got my slipper off and binned it.
❸ Then, trod on some of the broken crockery pieces.
❹ Swept up the pottery slivers. Sealed and binned them.
❺ Got the Speed-Mop out and cleaned the floor.
❻ Stood in a bucket with Dettol in the water and cleaned and sanitised my foot.

❼ Refilled the bucket with water so it was ready for my next need of the , to refill the still-not-working W.C. tank.
❽ These actions had given , a new impetus to inflict even more pain on me!
❾ I took a Codeine and Paracetamol.

Then at long last, got around to making a scratch meal. Close to midnight now! Made some cheesy potato mash and found some, hopefully, in-date soy mini-sausages in the fridge, with a good splashing of BBQ sauce. Two bread rolls and a pot of strawberry dessert. Very nice simple nosh; I was too tired to bother with anything fancy. Flavour-Rating: 7.10.

It was while ingesting this surprisingly edible meal… that I realised that I had calmed down so much since the last round of cruel , apart from the pain they left me in, they seem to have had no lasting detrimental implications now at all?

The gave me a break last night. ! However, the combined forces of and rejuvenated assured me of another bad night for waking up far too often. Humph!

Toodle-Pips!

INCHIE TODAY: Sunday 19th March 2023

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What fantastic colouring to the sky this morning!

To the right, and the City Hospital.

Straight ahead.

Eerie?

Wider.

Odd slippers?
This was thanks to the valve on the catheter pouch going into self-determining mode – and pouring out the urine into my slipper yet again. Mor cleaning up and freshening are required. Humph!

The carer told me I was running out of medications again. Carer Josef said he’d inform the office. Weekend, of course, so nowt to be down now.

I forgot to remind him to take the waste bags and laundry bag with him.
I’ll try to remember on the next call.

Bootiful clouds were coming out when I made my next cup of Glengettie.
Going a smidge dark, though?

I forgot about asking the next Carer to take the laundry & waste bags with him. I am a prisoner of Dementia Doreen!

The new day catheter, with the ‘Dodgy’ loose valve trigger, at least had some better-coloured urine contents this time.

gave me one of his famously-hated routines just as I was opening a jar of soya pieces for later. Naturally, this didn’t irk or bother me in the slightest. No swearing, spitting, gnashing of what few teeth I have left, or questioning the Lord over my bad luck, oh, no. I took it all in my stride. even when I got a stubbed toe on the Hoover, cleaning the mess up. Grrr!

I either fell asleep for two hours at the computer… or I had a Mind-Blank (Most likely, ’cause work had been done on the Health Check listing that I can’t remember doing?)
It was obvious that there would be sunset photos to take tonight. So I did a few close-ups of the nearby dwelling.

And the car park on Chestnut Way outside.
Tow spaces are free! Blimey!

Obviously, I had not recovered from the Mind-Blank.
I copied the latest Health Check results onto the whiteboard to use them later in the graphic… Then realised I’d erased the new figures from the board and not the old ones. This can happen to anyone; I understand that.
But why is it always me? Hahaha!
It may be Doreen’s Dementia? Another Mind-Blank? Or the agony I’m currently getting from Little Inchies , thanks to the chaffing from tube inserted in Little Inchy? What am I waffling about? Why?

,

Last call from the Carer, and again I forgot to remind him about the laundry bag again!

There should have been a photograph here; of a marvellous vegan meal that I had. It was delicious! Ready-made potatoes and onion with sauce side. To which I added a can of the mixed vegetables and oven cooked potatoes lumps, done nice and crispy! I was so keen to get my teeth (although I have far left to use nowadays) into it that I forgot about snapping it.

Doing the washing up after dining, and the night view caught my attention…

.
There are people out there; what are they doing?
Mayhap a little painting & decorating?
Naturally, there will be some burgling…
Or a family having a housewarming?
Is someone opening the latest Gas payment warning?
No doubt a few couples physically fluctuating?
The police, investigating and exhumating?
Gangs of yobboes, selling drugs & mugging?
Bloggers on Facebook, evulgating?
I’m just sitting here, recalling when I was dating…
Grizelda – she’s gone now; very frustrating!

Not that I could anything if she was here with the damned, rotten catheter tube stuck in me. Funny old world! Well, not funny!

TTFN

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